Home, Sweet Home: A Danisnotonfire Fanfiction
by Thisisendless
Summary: When Sam made the decision to stay in London after dropping out of college, she never would have thought that she would become friends with the man she knocked over on the underground. Nor did she think she would fall in love with him. Oh did I mention that millions of girls are in love with him too? Danisnotonfire and OC (NOT PHAN) Updates soon.
1. Preface

It was a rather chilly day in London. I knew I should have been watching where I was going, but my phone was more important to me at the time. That's why I'm not surprised I ran into someone.

"Oh gosh. I'm so sorry." I said looking down at the boy I had knocked over.

"No, it's okay." He said. I noticed his voice was deeper than I thought it would be making me think that he was older than I had originally assumed.

"Here." I said extending my hand to help him up. He took it and stood swiftly.

"Please let me make it up to you." I said noticing that he looked much taller now that he was standing and was no longer on the ground.

"No you don't have to. It's fine." He said.

"Really. I insist. I made you spill your drink. The least I could do is buy you a new one." The man looked longingly at his spilt coffee. Then agreed.

What I didn't know then, is that this man would become my best friend.

 **This is just a Preface. Chapters are much longer than this. Please don't let it put you off.**


	2. Chapter 1

**Chapter 1**

"Sassy pointing, sassy pointing, ah." Said Dan as Phil's Wii-mote flew towards to wall bouncing off and falling behind the couch.

"See I told you to use the wrist strap." Said Dan and then looking back into my eyes. I smiled a little knowing that that little smirk was just for me.

"I'll go get it." Said Dan walking over to the couch and then climbing up on it bending over to give me a view of his perfect ass. I paused the video for a second for a prolonged look at his backside. I pushed play again. Dan reached behind the couch letting out a "Ha" when his hand wrapped around the Wii-mote. He pulled it out from behind the couch and walked back over to Phil holding up the Wii-mote triumphantly. Phil looked at Dan.

"Um Dan," said Phil pointing to what was in Dan's right hand. Along with the Wii-mote was a pink, lacy bra. My vision turned red at the thought of a girl ever being in the same house as Dan.

"Shit." Said Dan looking at his hand. I could feel the anger burning in my stomach. Dan dropped the bra making my anger subside a bit.

"Well I guess the cats out of the bag." Stated Phil. In the back of my mind I really hoped that that statement wasn't a play on words to signify that it was Catrific's bra.

"Well I guess that we should probably tell you that we have a roommate." Said Dan looking at the bra on the floor. In my head I was yelling at Dan to stop looking at it.

"A roommate that is a girl!" said Phil. Dan looked at him and then back at me.

"No, our roommate is a guy that likes to cross-dress." Said Dan looking at Phil, his face blank.

"What? I just wanted to make sure they knew." Said Phil holding his hands up in surrender.

"I would assume that they would know our roommate was a girl." Said Dan pointing at the bra.

"I just wanted to clarify." Said Phil causing both Dan and Phil to laugh. I contemplated turning off the video. I was so mad. How could they have a girl living with them? Dan is mine. I swear if she makes a move on Dan . . . I kept watching.

"Okay, back to the game," said Phil going through the songs again. There was nothing else about the roommate in the video. I wanted to leave a nasty comment but I also wanted to respect Dan's Nicer Internet project. I just seethed with anger and took to twitter.

I read through his tweets and replies to other people. One tweet asked if they were going to do a video with their roommate. Dan replied with a 'she doesn't want to be on camera'. I know it's because she's ugly. Just then a tweet from Phil came in.

 _Everyone is asking about our roommate. She won't be in any videos because she doesn't want to interfere with "Dan and Phil"_

She is totally ugly. I laughed to myself and put my computer away.

 **asdfghjkl**

"Dan, I promise this'll only be until I can find a place of my own." I said as Dan put the last box on the floor of the room that was now mine. I thought he was going to pass out because of all of the times we went up and down all of those stairs.

"No it's okay. You can stay here as long as you want." Said a doubled over and very winded sounding Dan. I sat on the floor and Dan did the same.

"Thank you." I said bumping my shoulder against Dan's. I loved my old flat but the lease was up and I couldn't find any other flat within my price range in time. In the back of my head I knew this wasn't the best idea because I liked Dan a little more than you should ever like your best friend. I felt like this would just fuel the fire but I was desperate.

"Sam, we would do anything for you. You're like our best friend." Said Dan looking down at me. I leaned back to lay on the floor. On the way down I hit my head on the corner of a box causing Dan to laugh. I flipped him off with one hand while rubbing the back of my head with the other.

"Okay well I have some work to do. If you need any help with anything, just let me or Phil know." Said Dan standing to leave.

"Okay. Thank you again." I said.

Dan left and I started to unpack my boxes. I had my bed and dresser but all the other furniture came with the old flat so I would eventually have to buy furniture when I got a new one. I started in on unpacking my clothes and putting them in my dresser and the closet that Dan and Phil put together for me. I imagined them putting these together to be a lot like the video Phil made when they first moved to London.

After my clothes were put away, I put all of the boxes on my bed and started to roll out my black fuzzy rug on to what little floor space I had. It fit perfectly and that pleased me. I knew I would be spending most of my time on that rug.

I moved on to my box of random nick-knacks and pictures. I didn't really know where to put a lot of this stiff because I didn't really have any shelves. I put most of my things like pictures of my family and one of me and my best friend from back home on top of the dresser. Along with my cat figurine that I had to settle for instead of a real pet because of my previous lease agreement. My makeup collection and my brushes along with my jewelry box went there as well.

My movie collection and all of my books had to stay in their boxes until Dan, Phil and I could put together a couple of book shelves. Then I would have more space to put a few of my other little things. I left most of the stuff still in the box not knowing where it would go in the future.

I had a container of bathroom stuff that I had no idea what I was going to do with. I grabbed the shampoo, conditioner, and body wash I was currently using and put it in the shower. I had my own tooth brush, cup, and toothpaste which I sat in a corner on the bathroom counter along with my face wash. I figured I could keep everything else in the bottom of my closet. I stopped in Phil's room.

"Hey, what are we doing for supper?" I asked making Phil look up from his computer.

"Oh, we need to go food shopping so do you just wanna get a pizza or something?" Phil asked.

"Yeah, should I go and ask Dan what he wants?" I said turning to go out the door.

"No, he's about to start a live show so we'll ask him later." Said Phil. I nodded and left his room.

When I got back to my room I decided to unpack my stuffed animals. I put them all on top of my closet except for a small panda pillow pet which I may or may not sleep with every night. Then I figured I should probably make my bed.

I had just washed my sheets and blankets before the move so when I opened the box I was enveloped in the familiar scent of my fabric softener. I made the bed quickly. I took all of my fluffy blankets that I used to keep on my couch and put them in a pile in the opposite corner along with all of my throw pillows. I would figure out what to do with them some other time.

I put my full length mirror up on the back of the door. I got a good look at myself. I had always been a Plain Jane. I wasn't overweight but by no means was I in shape. I mean those stairs almost kill me every time. My eyes are a light gray color that tend to look darker when I wear white. My waist-length hair is just brown. The only things that really stood out about me is the fact that I am incredibly tall for most girls, I always look more tanned than my friends even in the winter, and the strip of blond I put in my hair that made me feel like a rocker chick. When in actuality I am a massive nerd who plays video games with Phil all of the time and I had an in depth conversation about Pokémon with Dan once.

Today I had on a pair of black leggings with a dark gray tribal like print and one of my old t-shirts that I would never wear in public. When I have to interact with other humans out in London, I usually wear dark colored skinny jeans and whatever shirt I grabbed that morning. Literally my entire wardrobe was black and white, mostly black. I had a few colored t-shirts, but they were mostly the old oversized t-shirts that I slept in and my nerd shirts, as my brother likes to call them. I tore my eyes from the mirror and continued to unpack and straighten my room up.

I placed my pillow pet in the center of my bed on the pillows as a last touch. I could still hear Dan talking so I assumed that he was still doing the live show. I just headed to the lounge with my basket of dirty laundry that I didn't get a chance to do before I had to move and my laptop. I went on to my blog and started reading comments and replying while I waited for Dan to finish up.

I hadn't been on my laptop for long when Dan came in and sat next to me of the couch.

"Hey how did the live show go?" I asked.

"Good. What's that?" said Dan pointing to my dirty laundry. I noticed there was a pink, lace covered bra right on top.

"What never seen a bra before, Daniel?" I asked looking at Dan with a smirk.

"More than you would think, Samantha." Said Dan with a wink. It made my stomach do flips for two reasons: one because of the pang of jealousy I felt at knowing other girls got the chance to be with Dan, and two because I hate myself for thinking about Dan like that. I pushed all of the feelings down.

"Where is your washing machine?" I asked, shaking my head. He showed me the way and I got busy loading the washing machine while Phil ordered pizza. I went back into the lounge and sat between Dan and Phil.

"Wanna watch something?" Phil asked me and Dan.

"Sure." Said Dan not looking up from his laptop. I just nodded. Phil busied himself with setting up the movie and getting drinks. While Phil did that, I leaned over pressing my shoulder against Dan's so I could see what he was doing. Tumblr, of course. Dan looked down at me. I met his gaze and I could feel myself getting lost in his eyes.

I managed to pull myself away and when I looked back at his computer, he had turned it away. I pouted and sat with my arms crossed. Dan took one look at me and started to laugh. I glared at him.

"I'm sorry, you just look so adorable. I didn't know you could do that with your face." Said Dan still laughing. I wanted to hit him.

"So, I'm not adorable any other time?" I said raising an eyebrow looking at Dan with mock anger.

"Nope. Definitely not adorable." Said Dan with a smirk. I laughed it off but my heart kind of hurt even thought I knew he was joking. This whole living with Dan thing was starting out on a bad foot. Just then Phil walked in with the pizza and drinks then we started the movie.

I only managed to eat one piece of pizza before I started nodding off. I decided I better go to bed before I fell asleep on the couch. I said good night to the boys and went upstairs. It took me a few minutes to find the clothes I wanted to wear to bed because I just wasn't used to how things were set up yet. I changed and climbed into bed where I drifted off to sleep.

 **asdfghjkl**

I was awoken by a knock on my door. I groaned but didn't move. Another knock came and I ignored it just like the last. I knew what was going to happen next so I covered my head with my blanket and prayed he would go away.

When I lived in my old flat, Dan and Phil had a key and they just came over all of the time. Usually when I was still sleeping. I worked a lot of nights when I had two jobs. Dan had always had a very specific way of waking me up if I was still in bed when he came over. It apparently hadn't changed since I moved in with them and I'm pretty sure it never will.

I heard the door creak open just as I assumed it would. He thought I was still asleep and couldn't hear him. He crept over to the edge of my bed then stopped. Before he could do anything else I jumped out from under the covers and yelled boo. Dan jumped into the air. I fell back on the bed and laughed rolling onto my stomach. Then he jumped on me.

"Don't you know it's not nice to scare people?" asked Dan sitting on my back. I lifted my head trying to breathe.

"Don't you know it's not nice to suffocate your friends?" I asked my voice muffled by the pillow.

"Haha you sound like Phil when I catch him secret eating my cereal at 3 am." Said Dan. His laughter shook me and I couldn't help but smile a little. I quickly wiped the smile off my face.

"So I sound like a man?" I said causing Dan to laugh even harder.

"Well, you could pass as one with that morning voice you've got going on there." I tried to punch him but I couldn't so I kicked him instead. We wrestled around for a few minutes play fighting and it then led to fits of laughter.

"Come on. It's time for breakfast and Phil wants your pancakes." Said Dan getting up and grabbing my foot starting to pull me off the bed. I clung on.

"I don't want to cook. I don't want to get out of bed." I said making Dan stop.

"For me?" said Dan putting on the pout that made my stomach turn. I have this idiotic crush on him and no matter how much I try to push it down, it always seems to resurface. I let out a sigh.

"Fine," I said with an eye roll. I was starting to think I should have never made them midnight pancakes. Especially if I was going to have to make pancakes every morning.

"Well hurry up and put some pants on." Said Dan dropping my foot and walking to the door. I jumped out of bed and ran up to Dan hugging him from behind causing him to jump.

"I'm wearing shorts." I said. He was almost a head taller than me. He could easily kiss my forehead without him having to bend down or me having to go up on tippy toes. Damn it Sammie, he's your best friend. Stop. I let go of him and slid past him.

"Oh and by the way, gotcha." I said tuning back to look at him before descending the stairs.

"Ha ha you're so funny. I'll just have to get you really good next time." Said Dan with an evil grin. I stuck my tongue out and ran down to the kitchen where I busied myself making pancakes.

"Hey Sam." I heard from behind me. I turned.

"Hey Phil, Dan said you wanted pancakes." I said showing him the pancake I had in the pan. Phil walked closer to me.

"I knew Dan could get you outta bed and make you cook for us." Said Phil bumping shoulders with me. Phil knew about the crush I had on Dan and he totally took advantage of my weakness for Dan. I would have never told him because he's shit at keeping secrets, but he guessed and I'm a terrible liar. I made him promise not to tell Dan or anyone for that matter. It's gone good so far. This seems to be the only secret that he has ever managed to keep for this long.

"Phil!" I whisper shouted giving him a look to shut up. He laughed at me. I turned back to the pancake and flipped it before I ended up burning it.

"I was hoping I would be able to watch you make the batter. I wanna know how you make them taste so good." Said Phil leaning up against the counter, his eyes never leaving the bowl.

"I fill them with love and my American-ness." I said knowing the truth was sugar and vanilla extract, not that I would ever tell Phil that. Phil glared at me making me laugh.

I finished making the pancakes managing to only burn one (the first one by the way, Thanks Phil) and the fire alarm didn't even go off. Phil helped me carry everything into the lounge and set it on the table.

"Phil, will you go and get Dan?" I asked going back to the kitchen to get the plates. When I got back, Phil was sitting at the table in the lounge eyeing the pancakes.

"Where's Dan?" I asked him making him jump a little.

"Oh he's just getting out of the shower." Said Phil. His eyes never leaving the pancakes. I sat next to him, putting a plate down in front of him.

"Do I really have to wait?" asked Phil giving me a pout.

"You and I both know that if Dan and I don't get ours first, you will eat them all." I said to Phil remembering the last time I made pancakes and Phil ate them all before I got one. He felt so bad but I didn't mind much. I have really never been a pancake person. I'd rather just have toast.

"Okay." Said Phil. I could tell he still felt bad for eating them all.

I was just about to yell to Dan for him to hurry up but just as I was about to yell he walked in. I had to literally put my hand under my chin to keep from my mouth gaping open. Dan came out in just a pair of pajama bottoms. No t-shirt. I mentally slapped myself. Stop staring dammit. I turned my focus on to the pancakes. Before I looked away I saw how the bottoms were riding down his hips showing the band of his underwear. The image was burned into my mind. Bad brain. No, stop picturing it. I grabbed a pancake and started putting butter and maple syrup on it. Dan sat across from me. I looked up.

"Dan why are you nearly naked?" I asked trying with all of my might not to stare at his naked chest.

"I'm not naked. I have pants on." Said Dan running his hand though his still damp hobbit hair. I just stared at him for a couple of seconds. It took all I had in me to not look at his bare chest. Dan sighed.

"If I put on a shirt I'll get maple syrup all over it and then I'll have to change." Said Dan. We all knew how clumsy Dan could be. "Plus just because you're living here now doesn't mean I'm changing anything so you're just going to have to deal with my nudity."

I just looked at him.

"Yeah but if you get syrup all over you, you'll just have to shower again." I said not really wanting him to put on a shirt but at the same time it was very distracting and I don't think I could have kept my eyes off him.

"Fine. I'll put a shirt on." Said Dan getting up and leaving. He was back in a few minutes.

"Better?" Said Dan sitting, no longer bare-chested, across from me.

"Much." I said cutting into my pancake and bringing the loaded fork to my mouth. "Well you better get some pancakes before Phil eats them all."

"I'm sorry!" Phil shouted as Dan shoved half a pancake in his mouth and moaned. I nearly choked on my pancake in laughter.

 **I noticed the spacers I had for separate scenes didn't go in. The only think I could get to stay there and not disappear were letters so my spacer is "asdfghjkl". I'm sorry if you read this before I fixed the spacers. I can understand that the beginning of this chapter could have been very confusing. Okay, thanks. Bye. :D**


	3. Chapter 2

**Chapter 2**

This is how the first month of living with Dan and Phil went. I made breakfast quite often, on my days off, because I don't like soggy cereal and I never seem to eat it fast enough. I did a lot of the house work but the guys definitely did their share because I wasn't always home. Unlike them I had a normal job. I enjoyed it because I wasn't in the spotlight like them. I've never really wanted to be in the spotlight.

I was in my room changing into leggings, when I heard a knock on my door. I finished getting them on and made it to the door with much difficulty, meaning I fell, twice. I opened the door and there stood Dan and in his hand was my pink, lacy bra that I had been missing. The very same bra that Dan commented on the day I moved in.

"Dan where did you find that?" I asked grabbing it from his hand.

"It was behind the couch." Said Dan looking very happy to be rid of the bra. Well I do fold my laundry on the couch so it must have fallen then.

"How did you find it?" I said narrowing my eyes.

"Phil and I were making a gaming video and he threw the Wii-mote because he didn't use the wrist strap and it fell behind the couch and it was attached to the Wii-mote and… we recorded it." Said Dan in a rush of words then pausing before he told me the news.

"Can you cut it out?" I asked half-heartedly. I already knew the answer but I was hoping I wasn't right.

"No the bits are crucial to the video and it'll look weird if we cut it out. Phil and I had to tell them about you but we didn't say your name or anything and we are basically going to tell them that you don't want to be in our videos." Said Dan acting like at any moment I would start yelling at him.

"Dan, it's okay. They were bound to find out sooner or later." I said calmly. I surprisingly wasn't angry.

"So you're not mad?" Dan asked looking relieved.

"I won't be as long as I can see it before you post it."

"Okay, I'm editing it now and I'll let you see it when I'm done." He yelled as he was walking down the hall to go and edit it I assumed. I laughed to myself closing the door. I looked in the mirror noticing the horrendous bags under my eyes. I feel like I need a nap. I made my way to my bed and almost as soon as my head hit the pillow I was out.

It felt like I was only asleep for a minute when I could feel someone shaking me awake. I opened my eyes and saw Dan with Phil standing behind him. They both climbed on the bed with me when I they saw I was awake. Phil was to my left and Dan to my right. Dan sat his laptop on my lap and on the screen, there was a very normal looking thumbnail for one of their gaming videos.

"I finished it and we really want to upload it now." Dan explained.

I pushed play before I talked myself out of it. The video was funny and I really liked it. The bit about me was short and you never really get a good look at the bra. Dan dropped it as soon as he found out what it was.

"So I'm a cross-dresser then?" I commented to Dan once the video was over. Dan shrugged.

"I don't know, I haven't seen you naked yet." The look on Dan's face was instantly changed from a smirk to a look of pure horror. Phil and I couldn't help but laugh.

"Well I'm hoping you won't be seeing me naked at all." I managed between laughs. Phil gave me a "Yeah, Right" look that I ignored.

"But sometimes accidents happen." Said Phil under his breath. My jaw dropped.

"Phil!" said Dan. He looked kind of grossed out.

"Sorry. I didn't think you would hear that, but I have a point." Said Phil when he realized that we heard it.

"Ugh, no, gross. If we continue this conversation. I'll start picturing you naked. Not that I want to picture either of you, I didn't mean it like I do that, I don't do that…"

"Dan!" I said cutting him off. "You can post it. I think it's funny. I do have a request though."

"Yeah what is it?" Phil questioned.

"If you're ever contemplating putting something about me in you videos, just let me know first. I'll most likely say yes but I just want to know ahead of time. And Dan, please don't picture me naked. For all you know I could be a guy." I said adding in the last bit in an attempt to lighten the mood. Both Dan and Phil nodded at my first one but soon turned into laughter from Phil and a slightly horrified look from Dan.

We laughed at Dan's expense for only a few minutes before I started to feel bad. Dan seemed to recover quickly thought. We talked for a few more minutes and then Dan got up off the bed to upload the video. He left the room shutting the door behind him. Phil got comfortable on the bed beside me.

"Since when do you not want Dan to see you naked?" said Phil with a smirk.

"Shut up!" I said hiding my face in Phil's shoulder. I could literally feel Phil's amusement at my reaction.

"You know, I really like having you around all the time." Phil started.

"Yeah, right. You just like having my pancakes every morning and having someone you can tease." I countered.

"Yes, but I also like having you here because it gives me someone other than Dan to hang out with. You're like my best friend besides Dan." Phil smiled.

"Owww. Owww. Owww. You're making my heart hurt." I said wrapping an arm around Phil hugging him.

"Whatever." Said Phil hugging me back.

Phil left soon after that but it got me thinking. Living with Dan and Phil was supposed to be a temporary thing but since I moved in I still haven't even started looking at new flats. I felt bad that I hadn't even looked. I need to make a mental note to start looking. I felt like I was taking advantage of the boy's kindness. But at the same time, Phil liked me being here. Before I fell asleep, I opened a search tab on my computer for flats in London.

 **asdfghjkl**

What the hell is that horrific noise? I open my eyes and look around. It took a couple of seconds to realize it was my phone alarm. I looked under my blanket and found my phone stuck to my arm from sleeping on it. Shit. Shit. Shit.

I bolted out of bed and got dressed quickly. I forgot I had to open the coffee shop and slept through my first alarm. I had twenty minutes to get dressed, have breakfast, and get to work. Once dressed I ran to go pee. Living with Dan and Phil I now have a lot of awkward pees because of the giant One Direction poster in the bathroom. Especially when I make eye contact with Niall.

After my awkward pee I went to the kitchen for some toast. I was in such a hurry that I didn't notice the glass door until it hit me. I literally fell on my butt. I laid on the floor for a minute hoping the guys didn't hear it but I knew they probably did. When I looked in the direction of the guy's rooms I noticed Dan standing in his door. I groaned and looked at the ceiling. Dan's face came into view.

"Forget about the door?" I nodded in reply.

"Are you okay?" I nodded again. Dan held his hand out to help me up. I took hold of his hand and he pulled me up off the floor with ease. I held Dan's hand a little longer than I should have but Dan didn't pull away so I assumed he didn't notice. Suddenly Dan dropped my hand and turned to go back into his room.

I went into the kitchen and started making toast. Once I shoved the food into my mouth, I brushed the crumbs off my shirt and grabbed my leather jacket that made me feel like a badass. It was still dark outside making me a bit uneasy. Even though I've lived in London for a couple of years, I grew up in a small town in the eastern US so living in a city was very different. It didn't help that I was afraid of the dark but I blame my dad for that because he made me watch "Jeepers Creepers 2" when I was younger.

I made my way to work silently praying that the evil flying thing didn't swoop down and carry me off. Once inside the door I let out a sigh of relief.

"You okay?" said the Mary, the older woman I was working with, in her thick northern accent.

"Yeah, I don't think I'll ever get used to living in a city." I replied making my way over to the counter while taking off my jacket. I didn't notice until I looked down that I was wearing one on Dan's Danosaur merch shirts. Most of it would be covered up but people could still see the tiny Dan in a dinosaur costume.

I had to laugh at the fact that of all the shirts I could have put on this morning it had to be this one. Then I remembered that Dan saw me this morning and I wanted to facepalm when I realized I was wearing this shirt.

Mary turned on the radio as we prepared for the morning rush. Today was a bit busy. Apparently people were in need of lots of coffee. I could relate. I got one comment on my t-shirt and it just made me smile. I thought back to it while I was getting ready to leave.

"I like your shirt but I prefer Phil." Said a young girl with long black hair and maybe a little too much eye makeup. I smiled.

"Truthfully, me too. He gives really good hugs." I replied. Her eyes widened.

"You've met them?" she exclaimed.

"Yeah they've come in here a couple of times." It wasn't like I was lying because this was the closest Starbucks to their flat but that wasn't why I knew Phil gave amazing hugs.

"You're so lucky." She said. I smiled at her and she left.

The rest of my work day was a blur, but that was probably because I hit my head off the counter when I went to get something from underneath it. I've hit my head twice now. I wouldn't be surprised if I was concussed.

Around noon my exhaustion hit me but I only had three more hours so I powered though it and drank like two cups of coffee. Working in a coffee shop was a big help when it came to getting caffeine so you could stay awake but it was also a very bad idea if you are maybe, possibly, slightly addicted to caffeine… which I totally am not. I was walking out the door when I got a text from Phil.

 _Hey just wanted to let you know Dan and I are filming a gaming video._

I texted back a quick okay and started my walk home. It was warmer than I thought it would be so I had to take my jacket off. All day, I was catching myself looking down at my shirt with a smile and I did it again when I saw it now. I still couldn't believe Dan didn't make a comment on it this morning.

The walk home seemed shorter than usual. I was attributing it to the sun and my day-dreaming about Dan. Wait what? No, bad brain. Stop thinking about him like that. I made my way into the apartment taking my shoes off at the door and starting the trek up the stairs.

I heard Dan and Phil in the nerd room. I had to creep past the door to get to my room. I could hear the guys talking very loudly in the next room and by the sounds of it they were having Dil fix the radio again.

I changed out of my shirt that smells like burnt coffee, not that I dislike the smell, and put on one of my many comfortable sweatshirts that I practically lived in. I grabbed my hardcover Edgar Allen Poe book, off my bookshelf, which was the size of Harry Potter and The Goblet of Fire, and then went to my closet. I put the book on the top of my closet and opened the door. What I didn't realize was that opening the door would make the book move.

That big hardcover book that I had up there, came crashing down on my head. I bumped into the closet and then fell on my butt, the book landing with a smack on the floor next to me. This is the third time I've hit my head off of something. Dan rushed in to investigate what the noise was. I just looked up at him, mortification clear on my face.

"Are you okay?" Dan smirked down at me.

"Are you going to be able to hear that in the video?" I asked in a monotone voice.

"Yeah probably." Said Dan with a laugh.

"And you can't cut it out, can you?" Dan just shook his head. I closed my eyes and threw my arm over my face. Dan went back into the nerd room leaving me on the floor. I heard Dan and Phil talking.

"What are we going to say that was?"

"That Roomie is just as clumsy as I am." I heard Dan say with traces of a smile in his voice.

I don't even remember what I was going to get out of the closet, so I grabbed my book and made my way to the lounge. If this didn't stop soon, I was going to have permanent brain damage, if I did already. I curled up on the couch and started in on my book. It wasn't long before I felt the couch dip down beside me. I didn't bother to look up, I knew it was probably Dan.

"So two times in one day?" Dan remarked. I looked up at him over my book and just glared causing him to smirk. I was not going to mention that it was actually three. Dan would have enjoy that way too much. "I knew you were clumsy but I didn't know you were that clumsy."

"Bite me." I mumbled going back to my book.

"You know someone is actually going to bite you one day." Dan said getting up and walking into the kitchen. Then Phil walked in with Dan right behind him.

"Hey Sam, we wanted to talk to you about something?"

"What's up?" I asked putting my book down.

"Well we just wanted to warn you that Dan and I are going to be doing a lot of filming for the next week or so, so you may get caught if you're not careful." Said Phil. I felt relieved and worried all at the same time.

"We just figured we should tell you because we know you don't want to be in our videos." Dan added looking a little sad. He wanted me to do a few videos with him in the beginning of our friendship but I turned him down. I'm not really an internet person besides my blog. I would love to be one but I'll never do anything except for my blog, and I didn't really want the Phandom to come after me. They can be kind of scary sometimes. And I was afraid to be on camera, but we won't talk about that. He was still disappointed I wouldn't do a video with him.

"I know how your fans can get and I don't really want to butt in to your whole Dan and Phil thing." I said for what felt like the millionth time. I felt bad for the look on Dan's face but I wanted to keep what little privacy I had. Living with two other people makes you realize how much you value your privacy. Look at me making excuses.

"Oh we ordered a Chinese takeaway and it'll be here soon." Said Phil on his way out the door. I went to get plates and cutlery from the kitchen and set the table.

Supper went as it normally went and when we were finished Phil suggested we all play Five Nights at Freddy's. I had never played so they let me go first. I didn't even make it through the second night and I may or may not have screamed like a little girl. Dan and Phil got quite a kick out of that.

"You guys are so mean." I said lightly punching Dan's knee. It was the closest thing to me to hit and I didn't really want to hit Phil. I was going to get him back later. Insert evil laughter here.

"You're just a sore loser." Said Phil. I stuck my tongue out at him. I swear these guys just wanted to watch me shit myself in fear.

"Now Slender!" Said Dan with a smirk.

"No! Not a chance. I swear you're trying to give me nightmares. I watched Marble Hornets." I said standing to leave the room.

"Please." Said Dan grabbing my wrist. Instant butterflies. If he pulls out the puppy dog eyes, I will be helpless. Oh and there they are. Fffffffff.

"Fine but you get to pay the electric bill when I leave all the lights in the flat on because I'm scared silly." I said sitting back down next to Dan.

Dan got everything all set up for me and then let me loose in the game. I managed seven pages before I failed abysmally. I also let out a terrified squeak and may or may not have been reduced to tears because for a second I actually thought Slender Man was going to get me. I wish I had never watched Marble Hornets.

Phil was laughing so hard that he had tears in his eyes. Dan on the other hand had fallen out of his chair in fright and was now laughing hysterically. I couldn't help but join in on the laugher. By the end of it. All of us were holding our stomachs in pain but we still couldn't stop laughing.

"I so wish we had been recording that." I said looking at the recording stuff they still had set up.

"I know it would have made a really funny video." Said Phil. Dan and I both looked at him.

"I meant if you wanted to be in videos. I know you don't but it would have been really funny." Said Phil elaborating on what he meant.

"Phil, I agree. That would have been a really funny video." I said trying to lighten the mood. It always seem to dampen when one of the guys bring up me being in a video. Or that could just be me.

The three of us played one more time. I didn't get as scared this time but then again we hadn't gotten so close to the end. When we were done, the tree of us went down to the kitchen for left over Chinese.

Phil had gone down to the bathroom while Dan and I were stuffing our faces. This was the perfect time to get him back for being mean. I snuck to the top of the stairs and hid around the corner. Soon I heard Phil making his way up. When he reached the top I jumped out and yelled boo. It was not very effective. He only jumped a little then he grabbed me trapping my arms.

"Phil! Let me go!" I yelled. Dan came out of the kitchen and was now laughing.

"Dan, help me." I said trying to lift my arm. He just shook his head and continued to laugh.

"Phiiiillll." I whined.

"I'll only let you go if you promise me you'll never try to jump me again. You're not that good at it." Said Phil laughing along with Dan.

"Fine. Now let me go." I said.

"Nope, you have to say it." He said. I stopped struggling and sighed.

"I promise I will never try to scare you again." I said in a monotone voice. Then when he let me go I said. "I'll succeed next time."

I ran to my room before Phil could catch me. I could heard Dan on the floor below, laughing his ass off and I'm sure Phil was laughing along.

That night I did end up leaving the lights on. Slender Man is scary. Plus my brain tends to trick me into thinking I see him out of the corner of my eye every few second. I surprisingly fell asleep quickly for having my lights on.


	4. Chapter 3

**Chapter 3**

"Damn it, the radio is broken again. Should we have Dil fix it or should we just replace it, Phil?" Dan said.

I loved how he got so worried about Dil. I knew that in the future when we had kids he would be just the same.

"He's been really good with fixing things lately, I think we should let him fix it." Phil replied.

"Remember that if he dies this is over." Dan countered stopping Phil from making the next move.

"I have faith in him."

There was suddenly a loud bang and the camera moved a little. Dan and Phil looked at each other then there was a jump cut.

"Well it turns out Roomie is just as clumsy as I am, if not worse." Said Dan looking into my eyes.

Her clumsiness makes her more appealing to Dan because they have that in common. I felt my previous anger arise again. I started my chant of I'm prettier than her. I said it over and over until I started to feel better.

There was no other mention of the whore in the rest of the video. When it was over I went on Dan's twitter. A few people mentioned her and Dan only answered one. It asked what her name was.

 _Like we have already said, she wants no part in our YouTube business so if she is mentioned we just call her Roomie. She wants to maintain her privacy as much as possible._

So she's fat too. I felt even better because Dan would never go for someone who is fat and ugly. I went on to Tumblr next. A lot of people are really going crazy about the whole roommate thing so I've tried to stay off of here for a while but I want to know what people think about her.

Everyone was theorizing about her being in a relationship with one of the boy. I literally snorted to myself when I read something about the whore and Phil being together. I mean come on, we all know Phil is gay. I laughed to myself and put my computer away.

 **asdfghjkl**

As you can assume, the week went just as the boys had told me it would. It seemed like every time I was home they were filming something but I managed to be out of the house a lot. I wouldn't be surprised if I had an ever growing pile of dirty laundry on my floor that I was never home long enough to actually do. I've also gotten a lot of really weird text from Dan and Phil this past week.

I was at work and I felt my phone ring in my pocket. It was quite slow at the moment so I decided it would be okay to check it. It was a message from Dan.

 _Hey can I borrow one of your bras?_

I have to confess that I laughed so hard I had tears streaming down my face at that one and my co-workers and a few customers looked at me like I sprouted a second head. I could only imagine Dan in my pink, lacy bra for the rest of the day. Every time I did I couldn't help but laugh to myself. I wouldn't be surprised if people thought I was crazy.

Another time I got a call from Phil asking me how to get lipstick out of the carpet and you can only imagine my reaction to that one. The video was posted later that day and on my break I watched it. Phil should never have a cleaver in his hand, he looked very dangerous.

When I was home I couldn't even go to get a drink without having to carefully climb around a camera tripod or waiting for Dan to stop having an existential crisis in the hall. I usually just stepped over him though, and I may or may not have accidentally stepped on him. It was an accident! I even watched him run screaming down the hall a couple of times, let's just say I didn't know Dan's voice could go that high. I mean I knew it could get really high, but I didn't know it went that high. You could say that I was thankful that this week was coming to an end. Until…

"Hey Sam?" Said Dan peaking his head in my door.

"Yeah?" I replied.

"So um, Phil and I have a few more videos to film, we're going away next week so we want to have something to post while were gone." Said Dan with an awkward apologetic smile.

He could tell that I was getting kind of fed up with having to deal with the constant filming. I understood that this was their job but it was annoying as fuck, especially when you need to survive an obstacle course just to get a drink of water.

"Okay but I'm only working one shift this week." I said letting Dan know that I would be at the flat a lot. That means I would be home a lot of the time.

Dan nodded and then left my room. I was seriously not looking forward to the following week, guess who is going to be holed up in their room for the foreseeable future. That's right, it's me.

I was writing a blog post about a product I really wanted to try out when Dan had interrupting me. I was almost done so I finished it and then published it. I had to put my computer down so I wouldn't constantly keep refreshing my browser to see if I had any comments. Yeah I'm weird and I do that. Instead I decided to go and see what Phil was doing.

I made my way to Phil's room and was just about to knock when I heard him talking. I figured he was filming a video so I went to the lounge instead. I found Dan sitting on the couch so I sat next to him.

"Whatcha doin'?" I asked.

"Uploading," said Dan with a sigh.

"Okay, you need a break from the internet and filming and anything to do with YouTube. As soon as Phil is done doing whatever he's doing in his room, we are getting takeaway and watching movies until we pass out." I said suddenly.

"Okay, sounds good to me. Wanna look at comments with me until he is done?" Dan asked.

I nodded and leaned up against him, putting my head on his shoulder so I could see the computer. We were scrolling though the comments of the latest Dil video, you know the one where I injure myself, when we came across a comment that both Dan and I seemed to get quite a kick out of.

 _Your roommate has been living with you for over a month. I'm honestly surprised she hasn't been caught in more videos._ It was so true. I guess I have just always been out or not trying to kill my brain cells while they were filming.

Then under it the same person added on a comment to the comment.

 _I actually kind of like the idea that we don't know what she looks like or anything about her and it would be really cool if you put her in some of your videos. Like just her voice or seeing her from the back to tease the Phandom. I would find it hilarious, especially all of the "Phangirls" flipping their shit over a girl living with you. I understand that she probably doesn't want to be in videos and it's an accident when she is but it would be really funny to fuck with your "Phans"/ subscribers._

I thought that the idea would actually be really funny but I didn't know how I would feel about purposely being in one of the videos. Apparently Dan liked the idea too because as if he heard my thoughts he turned to me.

"It would be totally hilarious if we did this," Said Dan with a wide smile.

"It would be really funny." I replied but I didn't take it any further than that.

"Is this something you would want to do eventually?" asked Dan cautiously.

"I don't know. I understand that a lot of your subscribers don't mind me but I don't want to somehow be attacked by your phangirls. Ya know what I mean?" I said with a slight laugh. Yes, Dan's constant "Ya know what I mean" has rubbed off on me.

"Yeah but I literally haven't come across a negative comment about you being in our videos." Said Dan.

I knew he was lying, I had seen a few on Tumblr. One of my Tumblr followers even tried to talk to me about Dan and Phil's roommate because I have followed/reblogged some funny things about them. She said a few rude things about Roomie not knowing that fact that Roomie was me.

"I really don't know." I said.

Dan looked sad but I knew he understood. We had the whole heartfelt conversation quite early on into our friendship.

Phil finished a little while after that and Dan told him about how we are having a movie marathon. Phil agreed as long as he could pick the movies. I knew it was going to be a bad idea but Dan and I said yes anyway. Of course Phil picked one of the worst movies of all time, "Hostel". I had in fact seen before but I had been hiding under a blanket the whole time with head phones, so Phil didn't count that as seeing it.

This time, instead of hiding under a blanket, I hid behind Dan's shoulder the whole movie. The entire thing was blood and gore and Phil made me look at the TV every time a "good part" came on. I felt like I was going to hydro-pump all over everything. Dan found it quite comical but I literally felt like I was going to sick.

I was so relieved when the movie was over but the relief was short lived. The next movie Phil chose was Paranormal Activity. I wouldn't have to cover my eyes for this one but I felt like it was going to traumatize me more that the last movie did. Dan and I both screamed at all the scary parts and when the movie was over I had Phil turn the lights on.

"Okay I think I'm going to go to bed now." Phil said putting the movie away still chuckling at our reactions to it.

"Okay." Said Dan as he got up and went into the bathroom. I guess the movie scared the piss out of him.

I made my way up to my room but I didn't stay for long. I grabbed my fuzzy, comfy, black throw blanket and one of my pillows off my bed before ran all the way back to the lounge. When I got there, I found Dan sitting on the couch.

"What's that?" asked Dan pointing to the blanket and pillow I held in my hands.

"What's it look like?" I said turning on my sarcasm. I didn't want to tell Dan just how terrified I was after those movies even though he already knew. I sat on the couch next to him.

"So should I turn the lights off then?" said Dan going to stand.

"No!" I exclaimed. Dan started to laugh. I gave him a glare.

"Okay I won't turn them off. I didn't really want to anyway." Said Dan not making eye contact.

"So the movie got to you too then?" I asked. When he didn't continue I fessed up.

"I'm afraid if I close my eyes I'll see all of that blood and gore. I swear can hear noises in my room and I am convinced it's ghosts." I said.

Dan didn't laugh like I figured he would. "I know how you feel about the ghost thing. I think that the clothes around my room are demon goats and I'll probably have a horrific nightmares if I attempt to sleep tonight." Said Dan trying to make me feel better.

"Well I guess then we will just have to have a camp out in here and protect each other from all those demon goats." I said to Dan with a hint of sarcasm seeping into my voice causing Dan to chuckle.

Dan stretched out on the couch. I stretched out with my head at the opposite end of the sofa and tucked my feet in between Dan and the back of the couch. Dan took the blanket I brought out and threw it over the both of us.

"Goodnight Dan." I said all tucked up and already drifting off.

"Goodnight Sammie." Dan said as I drifted out of consciousness.

I slept through the night with no nightmares and I woke feeling better than I had in a while. When I opened my eyes I saw that Dan was still fast asleep at the other end of the couch. Next I noticed Phil sitting in the chair looking at me with a smirk on his face. I covered my face with the blanket hoping he would just go away. Of course he didn't.

"So you slept with Dan last night?" If I wasn't afraid of waking Dan, I would have gotten up and hit him. I was also just too lazy.

"Shh," I said putting my finger to my mouth and then pointing towards Dan. I then mouthed, "Don't wake him."

Phil left with a wink. I knew telling him about my stupid crush on Dan was a bad idea. I stared at Dan while he slept but not in a creepy way. When he slept he looked so much more innocent than I knew he was. He looked almost vulnerable. He started to mumble in his sleep. I figured this would be the best time to screw with him.

"What did you say, Dan?" I said in a soothing voice. He mumbled a little louder but I still couldn't hear him.

"Come again?" I said attempting to keep my laughter in.

"I said, stop staring at me you weirdo." Dan finally said loud enough for me to hear. I felt all of the color drain from my face.

"Twat." I said, getting up taking my pillow and blanket with me, leaving Dan uncovered still on the couch. I heard him groan as I walked out of the lounge. Today was the one day that all three of us had time off so we decided to go to a movie. I grabbed a change of clothes and made my way to the bathroom to go and shower.

I turned on the shower and the water started pelting down. When it was warm I climbed in. As the water fell, I let my thoughts wander and they found Dan. I was embarrassed that Dan caught me looking at him, but it's wasn't the first time and I knew it wouldn't be the last. I thought back to when I started to realize that the feelings I have for Dan was a little more than friendly. I sat on the floor of the shower as the memories overtook my brain.

I was sitting on the floor of my old apartment with Dan. He was on the phone with someone and I was watching him talk. I watched the way his mouth formed the words he spoke. I noticed that when he would smirk, a dimple would appear. I looked at his chapped and cracked lips and started wondering how it would feel to place my soft smooth ones against his. I literally shook myself when that thought ran through my brain.

Dan looked at me weirdly when he saw me shake my head. I told him I had hair in my face. When he looked away, my eyes instantly went back to his mouth before I could stop myself. Dan noticed and turned to me.

"Do I have something on my face?" Dan asked quietly.

I was caught off guard. I met his warm brown eyes with my gray ones. It took me a second to answer because for the first time in the almost year and a half that I had known Dan, I was realizing just how amazingly beautiful he was.

"What? Uh…no. I, um, just noticed that your lips are really chapped. They look sore. Do you want come Chapstick?" I mentally slapped myself. I sounded so awkward.

"That would be great actually."

I hurried off to get my most hydrating one. His lips really did look sore. I came and handed it to him without a word. He hung up the phone then applied the Chapstick.

"Really? Watermelon?" Dan laughed. I couldn't help but smile.

"Hey, it's the most hydrating one I had and by the looks of your lips, they need it."

Now Dan is always stealing my Chapstick and always losing them. I smiled to myself at the memory. It was before I even really figured out that I liked Dan. Random thoughts like wondering what his hair would feel like if I were to run my fingers through it and how would it feel to have him lace his fingers with mine, were running though my head all of the time. I was pulled from thought by a banging on the door.

"What?" I yelled so whoever was on the other side of the door could hear me.

"If you don't hurry up, we'll miss the movie. Oh, and can I steal some Chapstick." I heard from the other side of the door.

Holy shit! Can Dan read minds?

"Yeah and I'll be out in a sec." I yelled back.

I shut off the water and climbed out wrapping a towel around me. I started to dry myself off and then I grabbed another towel for my hair. I dressed in dark gray skinny jeans and black tank top that had a white lace skull that took up most of the back. I loved this shirt because you could see little bits of skin though the lace. It made me feel like a badass and kind of sexy. Which is totally not something I felt often, if ever. I towel dried my hair and just wrapped it up in a messy bun until I got to my room where I kept most of my hair stuff. I grabbed all the dirty clothes and put them in the basket before exiting that bathroom.

Once in my room, I took my hair down and grabbed my leave-in heat protectant conditioner and ran it though my hair. Then I started up the hair dryer. It takes forever to dry my hair because it's so long, so I wasn't surprised when I turned around and found Dan sitting on my bed watching me.

"Now who's staring at who?" I said to Dan before flipping my hair over my face to dry the underside.

I heard Dan snort in laughter. I decided to just give up on my hair. I would let it stay half wet. Dan left my room telling me he and Phil would be downstairs waiting. I still needed to start on my makeup. I just put some powder in my oily spots and did a little neutral colored eyeshadow with a semi-thick liquid liner flicked out a little, and some mascara. I went light on my eyes so I decided on a dark red lip. I grabbed my favorite Rimmel Kate Moss 107 and cautiously applied it to my lips.

When I looked at myself in the mirror, I didn't recognize myself at first. I really did look like the rocker chick I sometimes felt like. Instead of my normal converse I went for my chunky combat boots. For jewelry I grabbed a few of dainty silver bracelets and paired it with a chunky spike bracelet I stole from Dan. I added a few of my bigger rings to the two small ones I already wore.

I looked in the mirror and still felt like something was missing. Then I remembered the statement necklace I had been saving. It had big silver triangles and it just went perfectly with the rest of the outfit. I put on my leather jacket I had brought up earlier. I grabbed my phone and my wallet, slipping my lipstick into my jacket pocket and left my room.

"We ready?" I said, walking into the lounge. Both boys looked at me. I swear Phil's mouth opened a little in shock.

"Sam?" said Dan.

"What?" I asked looking at Dan like he grew a second head.

"You look," Dan was at a loss for words.

"I look what Dan? Like a girl? Well I guess you're just going to have to tell your subscribers I'm a really, really good cross dresser." I said turning my sarcasm on. Dan seemed to recover from his shock quickly.

"No you're just a really clumsy one." Dan retorted. I stuck my tongue out at him. Dan and Phil both stood.

"Oh shit, Dan can you take a couple of pictures of my outfit. I have a really good idea for a blog post." I said before we left.

"Yeah sure." He said taking my camera that was sitting on the table. The picture took only a second. And then we were out the door.

Going out with Dan and Phil was always kind of hard because they would get recognized and no one ever knew who I was, plus we didn't want rumors that one of the boys were dating me. We would normally walk together until we made it to a more populated area and then Dan and Phil would fall behind about six feet and follow me.

We have only been caught walking together a couple of times. The first was just me and Dan and we were going to get flu stuff for Phil. The girl came up to Dan and asked for a picture. Then she asked who I was. I made up some lie about being lost and Dan was helping me. It worked because of my painfully American accent. The other time was much like this one. The three of us were headed to a movie. It was just when Dan and Phil started to get recognized in public. This time I had been following the guys. Apparently a fan saw them and then noticed that I was following behind. She went up to a cop nearby and told him I was stalking the boys.

The cop apparently agreed with the fan that I looked dodgy. He stopped me. I had to call Dan and Phil and tell them to come back and save me. They showed up and stood about five feet away. When I saw them I pointed them out to the cop. He looked and Dan waved with the hand that wasn't holding the phone to his ear.

It was awkward and the three of us never wanted to live through that again. Now they followed me. They were better at looking like they weren't actually following someone. Plus, if a fan saw them, they would just run at them and not even notice me.

We made our way to the theater and met up in the lobby. Phil was designated to get drinks and popcorn and Dan and I went to find seats. I walked into the theater our movie was going to be and found three seats right in the middle. Dan sat to my right and put his coat in the seat to his right to save it for Phil.

There weren't many people but there were a few. Dan and I were talking about which kind of popcorn was better, salty or sweet, when we were interrupted by a high pitched voice.

"Oh my god, Dan. Can I have a picture with you?" The girl said not noticing me yet.

"Oh yeah." Said Dan taking the phone from the girl and then taking a picture with her and handing it back.

"Thank you. Oh I'm sorry. Are you on a date or something?" she said noticing me. I couldn't help but snort a little. Dan gave me a look.

"Oh no, She's just a friend, Phil is getting popcorn."

The girl looked me over, eyeing me up and down. She totally thought Dan and I were on a date. I had to hold back my laughter when she walked away.

"Well that was eventful." I mumbled.

"Sorry I couldn't think of anything else." Said Dan with a frown.

"No it's okay." I said just as Phil walked in the theater. He came over to us and handed us both our drinks. I passed on popcorn this time. We settled in as the movie started.

I was hyper aware of Dan's arm pressed up against mine and how his knee kept bumping mine. Even if he moved slightly, I could feel it. I felt almost like I was suffocated in the darkness. More than once I thought about putting my hand on Dan's knee to stop him from moving but I decided against it.

Also the thought of grabbing ahold of his hand crossed my mind quite a few times. I pushed away the urge before it had the chance to take over. I was so relieved when the movie was over. The lights turned on and it was like the electricity between Dan's arm and mine was turned off.

Dan, Phil and I have a tradition to always stay for the whole credits. Sometimes movies have little bits at the end. Also by the time the credits are over, most everyone is gone. We would usually walk home and I would just leave a few minutes before them. I couldn't stay for the credits this time, I just got up and left taking refuge in the ladies toilets.

This crush on Dan was really getting to be too much. It was getting harder and harder to ignore the feelings I had for him and more difficult to control my urges. For instance when his knee kept touching mine over and over, I just wanted to put my hand on his knee. Dan took the arm rest between us and more than once I thought about grabbing ahold of his hand. And what was that weird feeling I had when my arm was against Dan's?

I took a few deep breaths trying to calm myself and decided to re-apply my lipstick. I felt my phone vibrate in my back pocket. I looked at it to see a text from Dan.

 _Hey where are you?_

 _I'm in the ladies room._ I typed back.

 _Okay we are going to start heading home. See you when you get there._

I sighed at my phone. I was not looking forward to seeing Dan again.


	5. Chapter 4

**Chapter 4**

I exited the theater, being momentarily shocked by the fact that it was still day light out. I waited a minute to let my eyes adjust to the brightness.

I tried to take my time walking back to the flat. I couldn't stop thinking about everything that happened while we were in the theater. The electric feeling between us.

I decided to take a little detour. Instead of taking the underground like I did with Dan and Phil, I just decided to walk. They were probably already home and I was not taking the underground by myself ever again.

Walking around London reminded me a lot of when I first moved here. When I was at school, I never really left campus but once I got a flat, I wandered a lot. I just kind of walked around and got lost. I would always make it home though, usually with sore feet. Thank god the boots I'm wearing are comfortable.

Before long I was standing outside the flat. So much for taking my time. I almost didn't want to go in but at the same time I really wanted to be in my room. I could hear my bed calling my name.

I took a deep breath and then opened the door to the flat. I kicked my shoes off by the door then picked them up and carried them up the stairs with me. I managed to make it up to my room without running into Dan or Phil.

I didn't leave my room for the rest of the day. I just needed a little space from Dan. Maybe that would help to calm down the crush. I started writing my new blog post I had thought of earlier.

I watched a few YouTube videos as a break from writing. I may or may not have watched Zoe's videos for an hour. Sometimes I can't help but be so amazed by my friends. I'm so proud of their success but it also makes me feel like I'm not doing enough with my life. I mean I'm in my twenties like most of my friends and they have accomplished more than I ever dreamed of. I went back to writing before the anxiety sunk in.

I didn't feel like I was typing for that long but when I looked up, the sky was starting to darken. I checked the time on my computer and noticed that it was almost eight. I still had my makeup on from earlier and I really needed to take it off. I grabbed a pair of shorts and an oversized t-shirt and made my way to the bathroom where I changed and removed my makeup.

When I was done I realized how thirsty I was. I made my way to the kitchen for a drink. I stopped when I noticed a figure standing in the dark kitchen. I thought about turning around in case it was Dan, but then I decided that I was so thirsty I didn't care. I walked in and turned on the light. What I found was Phil with his had in Dan's cereal. He looked up at me scared.

"Oh I thought you were Dan. He almost always catches me with my hand in the cereal box." Said Phil with a nervous giggle.

"I won't tell. Promise." I said holding out my pinky. Phil took it with the hand that wasn't full of cereal. I grabbed a glass and filled it with water from the fridge and leaned up against the counter.

"Why did you disappear after the movie?" Phil asked.

"Not here. Let go up and talk in my room." I said turning and leaving the kitchen only half hoping Phil was following me. When we got to my room, I turned around and Phil was shutting the door. We sat on my bed. I sat at the end with my back against the wall and Phil sat beside me on the edge of the bed.

"Okay why did you disappear?" Phil asked looking into my eyes.

"Dan." I whispered not making eye contact. Since I last talked to Phil like this about the crush on Dan, it was mild. I don't think he realized just how serious this thing was getting.

"What happened?" Phil asked. I knew what he was hoping for but sadly he would be disappointed. He for some reason, really wants Dan and I to get together. He ships it.

"Throughout the whole movie, I was so aware of every movement Dan made. His arm was pressed against mine the whole time and his knee kept bumping me. I almost grabbed his hand. Sitting that close to him and in the dark theater turned my senses on high alert." I explained to Phil. "I just needed to get out of there and get some air."

"Sam you need to tell him. It's the only way you'll find out if he likes you or not." Said Phil wrapping an arm around my shoulder. "You may be surprised."

"I'd rather keep him in my life and suffer than lose him and suffer." I said looking away from Phil. I had put a lot of thought into it. Dan was my best friend here in London. Did I really want to risk losing him because of a stupid crush?

"And what if he likes you back?" countered Phil.

I laughed dryly.

"Yeah right and I'm going to win a Grammy and sprout a magical horn out of my forehead." I said feeling just a little hysterical. Also I pictured a unicorn horn coming out of my forehead and laughed internally at the picture.

"Okay, spouting the horn isn't that impossible but the Grammy is stretching it a bit. You and I both know you will never win a Grammy." Said Phil trying to lighten the mood. It was not very effective.

"And I know I will never be with Dan… hey I'm not that bad." I retorted realizing what Phil had said. Without thinking I pushed Phil's shoulder causing him to fall off the bed and onto the floor. I couldn't help but laugh but Phil was laughing too so it was okay. Now that lightened the mood.

"Sam you sing almost as badly as Dan does." Said Phil climbing up and sitting on the bed again. For a whole second I thought of pushing him off again but I decided once was enough for tonight. If only they knew about all of the voice lessons I took while I lived in the US.

"Dan liking you back isn't that impossible." Said Phil wrapping his arm around my shoulders again.

"I beg to differ." Was all I said as a reply. Phil changed the subject after that.

I felt a lot better after taking to Phil. We talked about the movie a bit. I thought it was good but it wasn't really my kind of movie. Phil would have rather we go and see a horror movie but I had put my foot down about that. No more scary movies for a while. I don't think my body could handle the lack of sleep

I had a hard time going to sleep that night because of the scary movie we had watched the previous night. I just felt like something was watching me and I was afraid to close my eyes.

The nights following were just as rough. It was like every time the sun went down, everything in my room turned into some kind of ghost or ghoul that was coming to get me. It was not enjoyable and I kept sleeping with the light on making it extra difficult to fall asleep.

Plus I couldn't get any sleep during the day because of the constant filming. I mean could you sleep with a screaming Dan in the next room. Yes he played a scary game in the middle of the day. That and they filmed another Sims video. Dan can get very carried away with the loudness.

This week was worse than last week in terms of filming. Mostly because of the sleep I wasn't getting. I kept getting so frustrated and I almost snapped when I found out Phil had drank the last of my orange juice. It's not like it ever bother me that much so I don't know why I had that reaction.

You could say I was happy to be going to work this morning. It would give me a welcome break from the boys.

The work day went smoothly up until around ten when I was working the register. Two girls who looked to be about fifteen came up to the counter.

The first thing I noticed was the t-shirts. It was one I recognized instantly. One of the girls was wearing a llama hat, the other had purple in the ends of her hair and they both had purple AmazingPhil and Danisnotonfire shirts. I had the same one in black.

When they came up, they were in a deep conversation. About me. I took a deep breath.

"Yeah I know, I just wish they would tell us her name." The one with a llama hat stated.

"But I totally understand why they don't. She wants privacy. She's not a YouTuber to our knowledge and it seems that she doesn't want to be one with the way Dan and Phil have put it." Said Purple Hair.

"True, but I still want to know about her. I wonder which one she's dating." Said Llama Hat girl.

"What if she's not dating either of them and why would it matter if she was dating one of them?" Purple hair questioned. Llama Hat shrugged. I wasn't really liking Llama hat at the moment.

"What did you think of Dan's latest video?" Llama Hat said changing the subject. Before Purple Hair could answer, I interrupted.

"What would you like to order?" I said a little louder that I meant to. They both gave me a funny look and their order and then went on to talk about Dan's latest video. That I thankfully didn't have a part in.

While making their drinks I couldn't help but get more and more frustrated at their conversation. It was mostly about Dan. You know, the guy I don't want to think about right now. Llama hat was definitely a Phangirl.

By the time I had finished their drinks I had my teeth clenched together and I was having all I could do to not clench my hands around the drinks too hard. That would just make then have to be around longer.

I put the drinks on the counter a tad more forcefully than I meant to but they just continued to talk. I thanked every higher being I could think of for not letting me spill their drinks.

"That'll be eight fifty." I said after taking a deep breath. They ignored me and continued talking.

"I know I like the Reasons Why Dan's a Fail better than his Internet Support Groups. They tell us more about Dan and who he is. Whereas the Internet Support Groups focus on people's problems. I'm not saying I don't like them, I'm just saying they aren't my favorite." Said Llama Hat.

"Here are your drinks. That will be eight fifty." I said punctuating every word. It finally got their attention and earned me another weird look. They finally paid for their drinks and left.

I tried my best to not be annoyed with them but I feel like I didn't do that good of a job hiding it. It's not their fault I have a crush on my best friend who just happens to be internet famous.

When they left I turned around and exclaimed:

"I can't even escape them while I'm at work for Christ sake." I maybe said it a little louder than I meant to. When I turned around again the next customer was looking at me like I had three heads and one of my co-workers was giving me worried looks. I smiled in apology at the customer. She gave me her order but didn't stop looking at me warily. I think she thought I was crazy. Maybe I am.

And to make it worse, Llama Hat and Purple Hair didn't leave the coffee shop. Instead they sat at a table closest to the counter and continued their conversation. I had to listen to them discuss Dan's and Phil's new videos and their past videos for two hours. The sad thing was I knew exactly which videos they were talking about without them saying the title.

I did a happy dance when they finally left. Mary caught me in the middle of it and gave me a weird look. She laughed at my reaction to when I noticed her. She knew how weird I could get because of the amount of times I had opened with her. I'm weird before caffeine… and after. So she wasn't too surprised to see me dancing around to nothing.

The rest of my work day seemed to fly by. I almost thought about asking if I could stay and close but I knew they wouldn't want to pay me overtime. I did however sit and have a cup of coffee before leaving just to kill time.

After an hour I decided I should probably get to the flat before the guys noticed I was late.

I walked back to the flat slowly. I was dreading having to go through whatever obstacle course the boys had set up today. I was pleasantly surprised to see that all of the halls were clear of tripods and no Dan lying on the carpet. The entire flat seemed really quiet. I was suspicious. Had the guys left or something?

I made my way up to my room. Yesterday I was so fed up with everything that I had finally gotten around to looking at apartments. I found a couple but I needed to look over them some more. The tabs were still open on my computer so I could look over them better. I noticed that it was open and on my bed so I made a mental note to look through them after I went and got something to eat.

I had just changed my shirt when there was a knock on the door. It was Phil.

"Hey Sam, can you come down to the lounge, Dan and I want to talk to you." I felt a sudden wave of anxiety. What did they need to talk to me about? Were they going to kick me out? Did I do something wrong?

I took a few deep breaths to try and calm myself down. With a shaky hand I opened my bedroom door and made my way down to the lounge. Dan was sitting in his normal spot and Phil was sitting in the chair. I took a seat at the opposite end of the sofa as Dan. I wiped my sweaty hands on my jeans then pulled the sleeves of my long sleeve shirt down over my hands.

"So how is the flat hunting going?" asked Phil. I knew they were going to ask me to leave. I just knew it. My heart started pounding. They must have seen the tabs on my laptop.

"Um I've found a couple that I like but I haven't gotten the chance to look at them thoroughly." I replied to Phil. From the corner of my eye I saw Dan's face fall into a frown.

"Oh well what are you looking for exactly?" asked Phil.

"One that's close to work, so in this area. Fully furnished because I can't afford to furnish it right now. And a bathtub." I told him.

"Oh really? I know the perfect place for you then." Said Dan. I looked at him surprised and kind of sad. They really did want me to leave. My heart pounded harder.

"Where is that then?" I felt like my voice was getting smaller and smaller. I know living with Dan and Phil was temporary and I am looking for a flat but I really didn't want them to ask me to leave. I wanted to leave on good terms not have them kick me out.

"Here, Sam." Said Dan with a small smile. It took me a minute to process his words.

"So you don't want me to move out?" I asked slowly. My heart was slowing and my hands were no longer shaking.

"Sam we love having you here, and not just because you make us pancakes all of the time. I feel like the three of us have grown closer with you here and we don't want you to leave." Said Phil. I just sat there dumbfounded. Dan and Phil wanted me to move in with them for good. I couldn't believe it.

"We do need you to sign some papers, if you want to stay that is." Said Dan looking slightly worried.

"Why wouldn't I want to stay?" I said. Without warning Dan pulled me into a hug and when Dan finally let go, not that I wanted him to, Phil came over and pulled me into another hug. I was so happy and relieved that the boys actually wanted me to stay.

"It's not a yes. I just want to think things over and I'll give you a definite answer when you get back from California." I said pulling out of the hug. After I said it I realized why I wouldn't want to stay, but did my want to stay with them out weigh the constant filming and the other reason?

"Seems reasonable to me." Said Dan. Phil nodded his head.

"Wait, this isn't just so that the house will be clean when you come back is it?" I asked shoving away my unsure thoughts of moving in. Both Dan and Phil laughed.

"Only a little." Said Dan wrapping his arm around my shoulder and giving me a one arm hug. I hadn't really given them an answer so it wasn't a celebration like they planned but we had pizza and an anime marathon anyways. I would have preferred we watch a movie to anime but who cares. I was just happy they weren't kicking me out.

The boys told me that they were done filming for the rest of the week and that I wouldn't have to worry about going through that tripod obstacle course, until they were back from California at least.

I had worked my only shift and now I had three days to spend with the guys before they left. I was thankful that they were done filming because that meant Dan would be holed up in his room editing for a couple of those days. But staying away this past week seemed to make me think about Dan even more.

I needed to get Dan off my mind and soon because if I didn't, I felt like I was going to have a mental breakdown and kiss him the next time he did something cute. I had a whole week to think about what I was going to do about the whole crush thing. I just had to hang in there for a few more days.

The three of us all passed out on the couch. Too much excitement. Plus we ate so much pizza I'm surprised the food coma didn't set in sooner.

Phil was the first one out. Dan and I decided to change to a movie so Phil didn't miss any of the show. Within fifteen minutes Dan was nodding off too. I continued to watch the movie but I never made it to the end.

The last thing I saw before passing out was Dan's face pressed against the couch in a very derpy looking way. If I wasn't passing out myself, I would have taken a picture of that.


	6. Chapter 5

**Chapter 5**

I woke up because my pillow was growling. I laid there with my eyes closed trying to figure out what was happening then I remember that the three of us had passed out on the couch the night before. I opened one eye just a crack and saw that I was on Dan's stomach. I closed my eye and decided to just take in what was going on around me. I mean how often do you get to use your crush as a pillow? I mean best friend. He's my best friend. No crush here.

I could hear the TV on low in the background. My head was moving up and down with Dan's breathing. I felt warm? I wiggled my fingers a little and found that someone put a blanket on me. Someone was playing with my hair so I opened my eyes just a crack.

Dan was staring at the TV. When his hand came into view I saw a strand of my hair running though his fingers. I felt little butterflies in my stomach. I could lay here for the rest of my life and be content. Then I heard it again. It his stomach was growling.

I opened my eyes all the way. He looked down at me with a smile.

"Hey." He said quietly.

"Hi." I whispered back.

"Did the TV wake you?" Dan asked.

"No. Your stomach did. You hungry?" I questioned.

"Starving." He answered. I sat up and stretched. As I stood, I looked around the room for Phil.

"Where's Phil?" I asked when I didn't see him.

"His room. He wanted to wait for you to wake up before we ate. I think he's hoping you would cook." said Dan also standing and stretching.

"I hope he doesn't want pancakes." I mumbled.

Dan chuckled at my remark. "I wouldn't mind eggs." he said with a wink.

"What kind of eggs are we in the mood for?" I asked.

"The undeveloped kind, preferably."

I punched him lightly. "I meant how you want then cooked."

He thought for a while. "Can you make poached eggs?" He asked.

"Sure, do you want the yoke cooked all the way through?"

He shook his head as I headed off to the kitchen to get started on the eggs. He followed me in.

"Do you want toast?" I asked looking over at Dan. He nodded his head.

"Okay go ask Phil what kind of eggs he wants." I said putting some bread in the toaster.

"He'll just have cereal. He doesn't really like eggs much." Dan said. He didn't even have to go and ask because he knew Phil so well. It reminded me that Dan may be my best friend but Phil was his friend first. For a few seconds I felt like I was intruding in on their lives. I pushed those thoughts away and locked them in with my feelings for Dan.

I quickly got to work. Eggs were probably the easiest thing in the world to make. Scratch that, breakfast in general was the easiest to make. I was thankful Dan and Phil usually handled supper unless we ordered out, which we had been doing a lot recently.

Dan went and got Phil then the three of us ate breakfast together. Phil was kind of bummed that I didn't make him pancakes but I just didn't want to cook them. When I told Phil this he pulled a face that almost made me want to cave in. I swear he is going to turn into a pancake one day.

After that I decided to do the dishes while the boys went to their rooms and got to work editing. I tidied up the lounge and the nerd room a bit, did a couple of loads of laundry and then got to work on my room.

It was a mess, mostly just things out of place. I had a growing pile of books on my nightstand that I moved to the book shelf. I had a few movies on the floor by my bed because while Dan and Phil were filming I tried to just hang out in my room and watch movies. I put them in their place as well. The rest was just making my bed and things like that.

When I was done I was tempted to go down and bug the boys but I knew they needed to work on editing. But they did need lunch. I wandered down to the kitchen and whipped up grilled cheese and another sandwich for Phil, because he's weird and doesn't like cheese, along with some waters and brought them into the guy's rooms. Phil didn't really acknowledge me but almost as soon as I put the sandwich down, he grabbed it and took a bite.

Next I brought Dan's into him. I figured he would be the one to ignore me, but when I came in he took off his headphones and smiled at me. I think it was because of the food.

"Thank you. I didn't even know I was hungry until you brought this in. It smells good." said Dan as I put the food on his desk.

"No problem. I figured you'd want food in here so that you can continue editing." I said.

"Well I'm up for a break if you want." Dan said standing and stretching.

"I'll stay while you eat if you want." I offered.

"Okay." I went over and sat on the chair by the piano. I couldn't help but run my fingers over the keys lightly my love affair with the piano not forgotten.

It didn't take Dan long to eat and then I had to force myself to leave the room. The piano was calling my name. Then again it might have been me wanting to be around Dan longer.

Once I was in my room, I decided to read. I needed something to help me pass the time and I was kind of sick of looking at a computer screen. I grabbed my old battered copy of Dracula by Bram Stoker and laid down on the rug.

I had just gotten to the part where Johnathan Harker escaped Count Dracula's Castle when I heard a knock on my door.

"Come in." I said.

"Hey, you hungry?" said Phil, poking his head in my door.

"Sure." I replied.

"Okay I'll bring some food up to you if you want." He offered.

"Nah, just come get me when it's ready. I'll eat with you. Besides, Dan is probably still editing and won't leave his room."

With that he left shutting the door behind him. I tried reading again but I just felt restless and couldn't concentrate on the words. I decided to go down and see if Phil needed any help. I made my way to the kitchen. When I walked in Phil looked like he had everything under control but before I could leave he turned and saw me.

"Hey." He said looking over his shoulder.

"Hey."

"So, I was just thinking, I actually wanted to talk to you about something." Phil said not looking away from the food on the stove.

"Yeah?" I asked.

"It's just, you know, about Dan and about you living here with us," said Phil whispering Dan's name and stumbling over his words a bit. I understood what he was trying to get at. He wanted to know how I was going to be because of that stupid crush thing.

"I'll be fine." I said, totally lying. Phil looked over at me like he knew I was lying. Shit.

"Listen, I don't really want to talk about it, especially here. Honestly I just want to forget about it, but it seems like the more I fight it, the worse it gets." I could feel my eyes start to water for no reason. I will not cry. I will not cry. I will not cry. I swallowed the lump forming in my throat. I watched as Phil finished up the food and then walked over to me. Why do I have to be so over emotional?

"I want you to tell me about what's going on in that head of yours. I really want to help you. Just know that when you're ready to talk, I'm here for you," said Phil pulling me into a hug. I felt the tears return to my eyes and before I could stop them, they started to brim over. Damn it, I said I wasn't going to cry. But then again, when has that ever worked.

The truth was I did want to talk about it, but I wanted to talk to Dan. He and I had always been really close and I could talk about anything and everything with him, except for this. It killed me that I couldn't talk to my best friend about the guy I was crushing on. I couldn't tell him about something so big going on in my life because if I did then he would know I like him. I couldn't even talk to him about getting rid of this stupid crush I had on him.

I was so glad that Phil knew, because I don't think I would have been able to handle this on my own, but still he wasn't Dan. Phil and I didn't have the same closeness as Dan and I did. But he was better than nothing.

I felt Phil rubbing circles on my back. This was when I realized the streams of tears running down my face. Damn it Sammie, you big baby! You said you weren't going to cry and now you're bawling.

"Hey lets go eat in your room and we can talk or we can just sit in silence or… we can watch a movie." Phil said when I finally managed to stop the flood of tears. I nodded my head.

"I'm just going to bring some food in to Dan and then we'll head up stairs. Okay?" I nodded again wiping away the wetness on my face. Phil was gone and back quickly. We took our stir fry up to my room and we ate in silence on the floor.

Phil finished first and started to make a cozy looking wall of pillows on the bed where it was up against the wall. He added my fuzzy, comfy blankets and set up my laptop with a movie. I finished eating and climbed up on the bed. Phil sat my laptop in his lap but before he could push play, I stopped him.

"Phil, I-I just really wish the whole crush thing would disappear. I don't want to love Dan." I paused, my eyes going wide. Did I really love Dan? This was the moment when I really started to think back on all of the things I have felt for Dan. Phil hugged me and told me everything would be okay, but the realization that I was possibly in love, or on the brink of falling in love, with my best friend made me think otherwise.

When I was finally able to calm down from my mini panic attack, I continued with what I was trying to tell Phil.

"I really don't know if living with you guys is the best idea." I really did want to live with them but I kept adding on to the cons of living with them that now there were so many. I didn't know if the pros could outweigh them.

"Okay, what makes you not want to live with us, besides Dan?" Phil questioned.

"The filming. I know it's your job, but it's hard for me, especially while my work schedule is inconsistent." Phil nodded in understanding. "That and if I were to live with you for good, I would get caught in videos a lot more. I'm sorry but it's hard enough just being friends with you and not letting your subscribers know who I am. Do you really think we'll be able to keep them from finding out who I am if I become your roommate long term?"

"What's so bad about the filming? I know it's hard with figuring out days where we go out but I think we've done well so far. But I don't get why you're so against being on camera. Why don't you want the subscribers to know you?" asked Phil. I never really explained it out to him like I had with Dan.

"Think of it this way. I wasn't into YouTube when I first met you guys. Yeah, I looked up funny cat videos but that's basically all I thought YouTube was: funny cat videos, pranks, fails, Vevo, and cover videos. I didn't know what I know about YouTube now." I said

"But that doesn't explain why you don't want to be in videos. I mean I've seen so many people that didn't know about YouTube in the beginning and they are now starting channels and stuff. I just don't get it." Said Phil. I could tell he was desperately trying to understand me. I just needed to spit it out.

"I don't want to be on camera. I hate the way my voice sounds on video. I definitely wouldn't want to look at myself or hear myself long enough to edit a video. I would so much rather be behind the camera. I even cut out my face out when I add pictures of myself to my blog. I've never been one to put myself out there. And… I'm scared. I'm scared that people won't like me and I'm equally as scared that people will. I have never liked to be in the spot light or have a lot attention focused on me. I'm afraid of what people could say in the comments. I know there are going to be bad ones and I know there will be the ones where they want more than just seeing my bra or hearing me kill brain cells." I was really going into a rant here

"Yeah, but now you see YouTube differently and you started your blog. That's putting yourself out there. And why would you be scared that people will like you?" Phil retorted.

"I can't hide behind the computer screen in a video. With being in a YouTube video, people can see me. They can judge me on the way I look and how I sound and it won't be about my opinions or anything like it is with my blog. If they like me, they will want me to be in more videos. Plus if Dan were to ever find out how I feel, I know it would never work out and I would be forced to leave. Then that would cause problems for you guys." I said.

Phil say quietly for a minute. "It wouldn't be all bad. A lot of people are curious about you. They wanna know you. They know that we like you enough to have you live with us. Dan would never want you to leave even if he didn't like you back. He loves you, even if it's not the way you want. And I love you. If Dan were to react badly, I would be on your side." Said Phil almost pleading.

"But what about the Phangirls. The ones that hate on any girl you guys are with. Have you seen the amount of hate Cat and Louise get when they are in a video with you guys?" I countered.

"I have, but Dan and I get that much hate from other people that like Cat, or any other YouTubers we do videos with." I sighed. It felt almost like I was arguing with Phil. I didn't like it, but I had one more point to make.

"What about the shipping? People will be mad at me because I broke up "Phan." They will either ship me with you, or ship me with Dan." I stated making my final point.

"What you don't like hashtag Dam?" said Phil wiggling his eyebrows, instantly lightening the mood.

"Oh my God, how long did it take for you to think of that one?" I asked.

"You being in videos is one of the things Dan and I considered before we asked you to stay. We knew the possibility of you being in videos grew more likely to happen. Before we asked you, we thought about all of the things that could happen YouTube wise with you living here. We also had a small conversation about cutting down the possibility of all the shipping that would possibly eventually happen. When I was thinking about the whole shipping thing, it just happened to pop in my head." Said Phil with a shrug.

"Oh God, what's our ship name, dare I ask?" I said scrunching up my face.

"They aren't nearly as good as you and Dan but ours would be Pham or Sil. I prefer Dam. We could add the "n" from Dan's name and then you would be Damn." Said Phil drawing out the "a" and then winking. I couldn't help but laugh.

"OMG AmazingPhil just swore! OMG! OMG! OMG!" I said in my most fangirl sounding voice causing Phil to snort laugh.

I decided then that I wasn't going to think about my decision for the rest of the time I had with the boys. I wanted to enjoy hanging out with my friends before they left. Phil and I never ended up watching the movie, we just chatted away like I used to with Dan.

Things between Dan and I had been a little different recently. I figured it was just because of me trying to control my feelings for him, but I realized I was distancing myself from him. I wanted to be with Dan like I used to be, carefree and fun.

At the same time I can tell he is feeling the resistance in our friendship and is backing off. I almost felt like I was losing him and I definitely didn't want that.

I had a hard time falling asleep that night. I didn't want to be that girl that fell in love with their best guy-friend. Things always went wrong, one never liked the other back or they did and then their relationship fell apart and they lost contact. The one thing I know is that I don't want it to make me lose Dan. I felt like if I lost him, then I would eventually lose Phil and I wouldn't have anyone left.

I had made a lot of friends through Dan and Phil, like Louise and Zoe and also Niomi and Tanya from hanging out with Zoe, but if I lost Dan, I don't think I would be able to talk to any of them. They would remind me of him too much. I had a couple of friends from work but I wasn't nearly as close to them as I was with Dan, Phil, and some of their YouTube friends.

I didn't sleep well. I just kept having dreams that everyone I loved, just kept walking away from me. I would chase after them but they would always be just out of reach. Then after Dan left, suddenly I was drowning. Seaweed would cover my mouth and wrap around my head pulling me farther and farther away from the water's surface. It was a dream I had when I was stressed about something and it was happening more and more often.

I awoke not being able to breathe. The pillow wall had collapsed on me and I was being smothered by a particularly fluffy one. I had a major headache and I just didn't feel like moving. I threw all of the pillows on the floor except for the ones that I normally sleep with. I took off my jeans that I had fallen asleep in and I took off my t-shirt so I was just in an under shirt and my underwear and crawled back under the covers.

I never fell back asleep but I didn't get out of bed all day. I just kept going over and over the same questions in my head. What if I did tell Dan? Would he hate me? Would he ask me to move out? What if he laughed at me? What if he liked me back? If I stayed, would I be able to hide my feelings for Dan? If I was in videos, would the Phandom like me? I thought I wasn't going to think about this stuff. Damn it, Sammie. You never listen.

Phil came in and checked on me a couple of times, bringing me water and food. He even sat with me for about a half hour. I asked him all the questions that were running through my head. He didn't have an answer for some but for others he had some advice.

His advice on the Phandom was that he and Dan loved me. Therefore if the Phandom loved them, they had to love me. I tried to argue but he was persistent.

"What happens if you and Dan do end up together? You'd have to face the Phandom eventually. Plus Dan already wants to do videos with you, don't you think that if you ended up together he would persuade you eventually." Phil said. It made sense but I had no plans of ever telling Dan about my feelings for him.

Phil tried to get me to come out of my room but I was just too exhausted to move. Because of the nightmares, it was like I didn't sleep at all. I explained this to Phil but he just didn't seem to get it.

Around six thirty in the evening I decided that I should probably go and have a shower, and I really needed to pee. I never made it to the bathroom.

"Hey Sam." I heard just as I stepped off the first set of stairs.

"Hey." I said looking up at Dan.

"Where have you been all day?" Dan asked.

"Room."

"Oh, are you okay?" asked Dan. I knew I couldn't lie to him. He would see right through it like he always has. I shook my head. He stepped towards me, I stepped back. I smiled up at him in apology.

"Hey, if you need to talk, I'm here for you okay?" Dan said not trying to come closer. I nodded. I knew I could never talk to him about this crush. But I could talk to him about my dreams. He was the only one that had ever really understood them.

"Dan?" I said as he was turning away. "I do want to talk, actually."

Dan walked into his room and I followed. He sat on his bed and I sat in the butt chair. For a few minutes we were both silent.

"I'm having really bad dreams again." I finally managed to spit out.

"Oh," Dan replied. "What are they about?"

"All of my friends: Phil, Zoe, Louise," I paused and met Dan's eyes for the first time. "You, you all left me. I tried to chase after you but you were always a step ahead of me. I couldn't catch you. Then that reoccurring seaweed dream happened. I'm just a little shaken."

"Sammie, why didn't you tell me those dreams were back?" Dan asked scolding me slightly.

"That's the second time you've called me Sammie." I said.

"Oh, sometimes when I think about you, in my head I call you Sammie." Said Dan then quickly realizing what he said. "Not that I, uh, think about you. That's weird. I don't think about you. I mean…"

I couldn't help but smile at his sudden awkwardness.

"Dan, it's okay. I knew what you meant. It's just you've never really called me that. I kind of like it though" I stopped him from rambling on.

"And this is the first one I've had in a while, the dreams I mean. I guess that's why it shook me so much."

"So what was Phil doing in your room last night?" Dan asked.

"Just talking." I said with a shrug.

"What about?" he questioned. I could feel my heart speed up at the question. Did he know? Did he hear us?

"Did you hear us talking?" I asked.

"No, just heard his voice when I went to the nerd room for something. We don't ever seem to talk like this anymore." Said Dan looking down at his hands.

"It was about moving in. I ran into him in the kitchen and got to talking. I don't know if I want to move in because I know eventually I would end up being in videos more and more often, and I'm just not sure about it." I explained.

"I understand, but technically we introduced you to our subscribers as our roommate. We never told them it was temporary so I expect them to have already accepted you. Whether you stay or not." Dan countered.

"Okay, I'll see you later, I really, really have to pee." I said turning to the door to leave.

"Oh! That reminds me." Dan exclaimed.

"Me going pee reminded you of something?" I asked trying to keep the slight smile off my face.

"No, well yeah kinda. I'll fill you in later." Said Dan with a mischievous smile. I was curious but at the same time it felt like my bladder was going to explode so I chose my bladder over my curiosity. Another awkward pee occurred, but this time the eye contact was with Zayn. I think I actually cried a single tear while peeing. Oh the 1D feels.

I went back up to my room and figured I could work on a blog post until I finally fell asleep. I was also hoping that I wouldn't have that nightmare again. I felt like the little talk I had with Dan was the start of repairing our friendship in a way. The whole time I was only thinking of him as Dan my best friend, not Dan the man that I was possibly…falling…in love…with.

I pushed all thoughts of the "L" word and having feelings for Dan or anything to do with YouTube or making videos, away and thought only of the time I had with my two best friends before they left. I would have a week to asses my feelings about him and to decide if living with Dan and Phil was the best idea for me.

I fell asleep that night with only thoughts of how much fun we were all going to have tomorrow. I started planning the day out in my head. I wanted to try to do something fun. Something that Dan and Phil didn't normally do and something that we didn't normally do together.


	7. Chapter 6

**Chapter 6**

I woke up around seven in the morning. It was much earlier than I normally would wake up. About three hours earlier, but that would give me time to get ready.

I made my way to the kitchen and started up the coffee pot. I prefer real coffee to that instant stuff. I got out all of the ingredients for pancakes. I also grabbed eggs and bacon. I got the bacon going and also at the same time started the pancakes. I was almost finished with the pancakes when I heard foot steps behind me. I looked over my shoulder and saw a very sleepy looking Phil.

"Hey." I said. Phil walked closer to me. He put his chin on my shoulder like he was using me as a pillow and breathed in deeply.

"Mmm, it smells so good." He said quietly.

"I know. Go wake up Dan and we can have breakfast." I said to Phil. He shuffled off and I finished the last pancake and started on the eggs. I was flipping that last egg over when I heard two sets of footsteps.

"Just head into the lounge." I yelled out hoping they would hear me and follow directions. I had already set the table and there were three orange juices and a hot pot of coffee already there.

I carried all of the plates of food in and the boys looked up.

"Oh God, you made bacon." Dan said, moaning the word bacon. I didn't let the moan get to me like I normally would.

"And eggs and pancakes." I added.

I sat everything down. Dan instantly went for a pancake and some bacon. Phil waited. I grabbed eggs and bacon for myself.

"Dan are you having any more pancakes after that one?" I asked.

He shook his head too tired to actually talk.

"Phil, they are all yours." I said.

Phil's eyes widened. He waited only a nanosecond before pulling the plate to him and loading them up with maple syrup. I had to smile at him. Soon the only sounds coming from us were cutlery against plates and Dan's moans while munching on the bacon.

After breakfast the boys helped me clean up the table and take care of dishes. Then they both went to their rooms so that they could continue editing. I, on the other hand started packing a cooler bag with a bunch of different types of cheeses and crackers.

I ran out of the house for a bit to go and pick up some fruit and some cans of soda. When I got home I packed those along with the stuff to make sandwiches.

I ran upstairs and grabbed my black backpack and stuffed my picnic blanket in it. I grabbed a notebook, a few pens and my camera. I was hoping to take some pictures. Once everything was packed I looked up directions to Hyde Park. I knew the guys could get me there but I wanted it to be somewhat of a surprise.

At about eleven thirty I went into Dan's room. He had just taken his headphones off and was stretching.

"Dan!" I yelled causing him to jump.

"Fffffffff! Sam!"

"Get dressed! We're going out." I stated.

"Do I have to?" Dan asked.

"Yes!"

"Okay. Stop yelling." Dan said.

"Oh sorry." I said with a sweet and innocent smile. I left his room and went into Phil's.

"Phil!" I yelled. Phil just looked up at me.

"Yeah I heard. Get out so I can change." I smiled.

I liked when I got my way.

I went into the lounge and waited for the boys. Phil joined me a few minutes later but Dan was taking forever.

"Daniel!" I yelled down the hall.

"Samantha!" I heard muffled by a door.

"Hurry up!" I yelled back.

"I'm done." said Dan walking into the lounge.

"Okay let's go." I said jumping up off the couch. Phil following right behind me with Dan dragging his feet pulling up the rear. I grabbed my backpack and the cooler bag then led the boys out the door.

It wasn't that much later that Dan started complaining. "So where are we going?" he asked.

"We're almost there so just be patient." I said as we entered the park. We walked a bit until I found a nice grassy place where we could lay out the blanket. I picked a spot under a tree so that we would have some shade. It didn't take me long to shed my jacket to soak up as much sun as I could.

That morning I had put on a black tank top that was very plain on the front but the back was cut up and knotted down the middle and showed a little bit of skin on each side of the knots. I paired it with some dark blue shorts and a really cute pair of strappy sandals that my best friend from back home sent me. My makeup was very minimal and I only had on lip balm and I just left my hair natural and didn't bother putting it up.

I pulled the blanket out of my bag and started to set it up. When I had the blanket laid out perfectly, I sat the bag of food in the middle and sat down.

"Well, are you going to sit?" I asked looking up at the boys. Phil sat next to me.

"Seriously? A picnic?" said Dan scoffing.

"Yes, a picnic. Now sit your ass on the ground and enjoy it." I said giving Dan my "I'm serious" look. He sat without another word.

"So Sam, how's work going?" Phil asked.

I laughed thinking back to my last day of work and my run in with a couple of Dan and Phil fans. Looking back at it now, I realized just how funny the situation was. They looked at me questioningly.

I explained about the fan interaction I had at work and about my reaction. Dan looked a little guilty but that didn't stop him from laughing along with Phil who thought it was hilarious. We all talked about random things. After a while Phil picked up my camera and started taking pictures of some flowers off to our right. I'd probably end up using them for Instagram or something.

I laid on my back and Dan did the same. His head was next to mine but he was upside down. We just kind of laid like this for a few minutes in a comfortable silence.

"Sam?" Dan asked.

"Yeah?" I replied looking over at Dan to see he was looking at me. When I met his eyes, it felt like I had the wind knocked out of me.

"We're going to miss you while we are in California." He said.

"I'll miss you guys too, but I feel like I also kind of need a break from you guys. I love you both but sometimes it gets kind of crazy." My heart was fluttering when I said the "L" word but in my head I was screaming at it to shut the eff up.

"Yeah, with us filming all the time it can be crazy but it seemed like you handled it well. Except for Llama Hat." At the mention of her I just couldn't help but laugh which caused my head to bump into Dan's.

"Owww" we both said at the same time and then dissolved into a fit of giggles.

"Motherfucker. That really hurt." said Dan once the laughter subsided.

"I'm sorry." I bit my tongue before I asked if he wanted me to kiss it better. No! Bad brain!

I looked back up to the sky which you could just barely see through the tree branches. I started to think of my best friend back home, Lily. I needed to call her. She would have advice for me about the Dan thing.

"What are you thinking about?" Dan asked softly.

"That's not any of your business now is it?" I said with a little more sarcasm than I intended to, causing it to sound mean.

"Sorry, you just looked like you were going to bite through your lip. I know you do that when you're really thinking hard about something. I just wanted to help." Dan said with a look of hurt in his eyes.

"I'm sorry. I didn't mean for it to come out like that. I was just thinking about Lily." I said.

"Isn't that your friend from back home?" Dan asked.

"Yeah, I just realized how much I miss her. I was making a mental note to call her later." I explained.

I had been so focused on Dan that I didn't realize Phil was there until it was too late.

"Phil, did you just take a picture of us?" Dan said. I felt my stomach drop.

"Phil, give me the camera. No more picture taking for you." I said to him holding out my hand for the camera. He looked sad but he knew how I felt about having my picture taken. I really don't like pictures.

"Can I see it?" Dan asked. I handed him the camera. He looked at it for a minute.

"I like it, please don't delete it." Said Dan handing the camera back to me. I looked at the picture. Dan and I were looking at each other both with slight smiles on our faces. Dan's dimple was very pronounced. It didn't look like me in the picture. It looked like the badass I wanted to be. You could see my little triangle earrings in the one hole that I had and the little ear cuff that Lily sent me a couple years ago.

Dan was right, I couldn't delete this picture. It was too good of a picture to delete but I could never post it or show it to anyone and Dan definitely couldn't post it. Actually, I have the perfect idea. I decided I was going to add it to my pictures on my dresser. I played with the camera settings a little and then took a picture of the sky through the branches. Now this I could put on Instagram.

We had lots of fun with the camera. Dan went for a walk and got a ton of amazing pictures that he was never going to post to Instagram. I got a few candids of Dan and Phil talking. If the Phandom ever got a hold of these they would probably freak out and add this to their proof that "Phan" is real. Either way they were still really good pictures of my friends.

The sky was starting to darken so the three of us decided it was time to go home. I had one more surprise for the guys. When we got home Dan made his way to the kitchen to make supper, but I stopped him.

"No, I want to make supper tonight." I said to Dan who looked very confused at my request but stepped aside anyway.

"What are you making?" Dan asked. The curiosity was clear on his face.

"It's a surprise so go away." I said with a mischievous smile. He raised his hands in surrender and left the kitchen.

I got to work getting everything together to make one of the only things I knew how to make. Mac n' Cheese. But it was homemade so it was better. I used the cheese that we didn't eat at the picnic and the cheese I saved especially for this. I cooked the macaroni and started in on my cheese sauce. When the macaroni was cooked, I mixed the cheese in but not before I took some of the macaroni out because there is something wrong with Phil's taste buds.

Once the cheese was mixed in I added more cheese in and put it in the oven so that it would melt. Then with the macaroni I saved for Phil, I put spaghetti sauce in it and covered it in tin foil and put it in the oven with the Mac n' Cheese. I grabbed plates and silverware and brought it all out to the lounge to set the table.

I asked the guys what they wanted for drinks and then went back to the kitchen and poured the glasses. I grabbed a leftover soda from the picnic and just poured it in a cup for me. I carried all three of the drinks to the table and I didn't even spill any. I was so proud of myself in that moment. Yay for no spillage.

When both dishes were done I carried them out to the table. One at a time of course. I'm not that talented and I didn't feel like burning myself today.

"Okay guys, it's time for food." I said to Dan and Phil who were lounging on the couch. As per usual we had a new episode of whatever anime Dan and Phil were watching now. I never really paid much attention to the anime but sometimes I was just forced into watching it with the guys while we ate. It was like their tradition, before I moved in.

Dan really liked the Mac n' cheese and Phil was thankful that I had thought of him and made him something else. All in all it was a good end to a good day. After supper dishes were picked up and loaded in the dishwasher, the three of us dispersed to our separate room. I assumed the boys would be editing.

I went up and loaded the pictures on to my laptop and sorted them into folders. There was Dan's pictures, Phil's pictures, and my pictures. I sent both the boys their pictures. When I was going through mine I came across the one Phil took of me and Dan. As if he knew I was thinking about him, Dan sent me a message.

 _D: Where is the picture of us that Phil took?_

 _S: Oh I didn't know you wanted it._

 _D: Well yeah I want it._

 _S: Okay sending it now._

I quickly sent the picture to Dan.

 _D: Thank you :D_

I could feel the exhaustion taking over me while I was staring at the computer screen. I decided that I should probably go to bed. I closed my laptop and started to get undressed. I put on shorts and a tank top. I was warmer than usual and I attributed it to the fact that I got a lot of sun today. I fell asleep quickly.

 **asdfghjkl**

I woke up to a terrible pain in my back. I tried to change position but when I moved I wanted to cry. I slowly and carefully climbed out of bed and walked over to my mirror. I looked at myself in shock. My shoulders and my upper back were as red as a lobster. I wanted to facepalm myself but I decided against that because it hurt to move my shoulders.

I carefully took off my tank top and put on a strapless top so that I had no clothing touching the burned areas. I grabbed some aloe lotion and started to make my way to the bathroom. When I started the decent of stairs I literally ran into Dan. He touched my shoulder causing me wince and want to cry.

"Oh sorry, what happened to your shoulders?" asked Dan noticing how red they were.

"I think I laid out in the sun writing for too long." I replied showing him the aloe lotion.

"Do you need any help?" Dan offered.

I turned to show him my back and nodded. We went down to the bathroom. He was extremely gentle while he rubbed the lotion on my back. I let out a moan when the cool lotion touched my back and I don't even care how it sounded. The lotion just felt so good.

"There. All done." said Dan moving to wash his hands. When he was done we made our way back to the lounge. I laid on my stomach on the couch and closed my eyes.

"I'm such and idiot." I mumbled to myself.

"Hey now we can recreate The Skin Fic." said Dan. I looked up at him disgusted.

"That's gross. No!" I said pointing my finger at him and wincing, instantly regretting it when I moved my shoulder. Dan laughed at me.

"Of course we would have to wait for it to start peeling." said Dan with an evil grin.

"NO NO NO NO NO NOOOO. No." I said loudly trying to block out Dan words while plugging my ear. This caused him to laugh even harder.

Dan left just after that and I laid on the couch with no intentions of moving all day. I wished I had thought to grab my laptop or something so I could watch Netflix. I reached for the remote and turned the TV on. I just put it on a random channel and zoned out. Apparently I fell asleep on the couch because soon I was awoken by Dan moving my foot.

"Do you need more lotion?" he asked me. I nodded my head.

The cool lotion literally felt so good. I moaned shamelessly.

"What is going on in here?" said Phil rounding the corner. When he saw my shoulders and back he understood.

"Oh now I get it. I was scared there for a minute." I glared at him.

"Sorry, sorry. The moaning just sounded suggestive." said Phil backing away with his hands raised. I would have flipped him off if Dan hadn't moved on to my shoulders just then. I could feel Dan laughing as he rubbed the lotion in. Phil left and Dan finished rubbing the lotion on and got up to wash his hands.

Before long Dan was back with his laptop this time. I moved so that he could sit in his sofa crease. My face was incredibly close to his butt and the only thing that I could think was "I really hope he doesn't fart".

We sat like this for a while, just enjoying each other's company without having to fill the silence with conversation. I felt myself dozing off again.

"Hey Sam, can you sit up for a second?" Dan asked. I groaned but sat up.

"Okay so don't be mad at me but I just finished editing my video that I want to post tonight and I have a hilarious clip of you and I really want to use it. It makes the video." Said Dan talking kind of fast. I sighed.

"Okay let me see it." I said reaching out for his laptop.

The video was called Things Not to Do in Public Bathrooms. It was funny and I really enjoyed but, I didn't notice the part with me in it…until the end. After his channel name pops up on the screen with the explosion it cuts to a view of the bathroom. I hear myself sigh on the video and then in a very angry, slightly loud voice I say "I just want to pee" with a groan after it.

I literally facepalmed myself. It hurt. I could feel the blush creeping up on my face but also it was hilarious and it really did make the video.

"You better upload it now before I change my mind." I said my voice muffled by my hands. Dan hugged me without thinking. Luckily he missed all the burnt parts.

"Oh sorry, I'm going to go upload it now." Said Dan getting up and going to his room. I groaned and laid back down on the couch.

Phil made supper that night. I only got up to use the bathroom or have Dan put more lotion on my back. Dan came out for supper with a huge grin on his face and I couldn't help but feel like I was one of the reasons it was there and that made me so happy.

Both of the guys had to go to bed early because they were getting up early to get on the plane to Vidcon so after supper we retreated to our rooms. I wanted to get up with the boys and say good bye to them before they left.

I didn't realize how early they were actually getting up. When I woke the next morning I felt like my limbs were tied to rocks. My back felt significantly better but I still didn't want to put a t-shirt on.

I went down and helped Dan finish packing because no one wanted him to forget his socks on this trip. Dan didn't appreciate the comment I made about that while helping him pack.

"You know, everyone went crazy for the video last night." stated Dan while I was folding a t-shirt and putting it into his suitcase.

"Oh, did they?" I asked.

"Yeah they are all shocked that you're American and any suspicions that you're actually one of our YouTuber friends is completely debunked because no one recognizes your voice." Dan added. I just nodded. I could see that Dan was really happy and I didn't want to dampen the mood with my internal struggle he had pulled me from.

We finished packing and I went to see if Phil needed any help. He seemed to have everything under control. And the boys were ready to go in what felt like five minutes.

"I'm going to miss you, Sam." Said Phil wrapping me in a hug and squeezing tightly. He let go after a couple of seconds and then I moved on to Dan.

"We'll Skype when we have some free time." said Dan. I hugged him too. He breathed in tightening the hug. I held on to him a bit longer than I did Phil because I wanted to commit Dan's scent to memory.

"I'll see you soon. Have a safe flight and have fun." I said stepping back from Dan and Phil.

They smiled and then walked out the door. I watched the door close behind them and then I just stood there. Staring at the closed door. They were gone.


	8. Chapter 7

**Chapter 7**

Dan uploaded a new video for me. I was so excited that I could barely wait to get home from work. It was such a good video until the end. I watched all the way through with love in my eyes until the after video bit.

"Hhhh…I just. Want. To pee! Ugh."

The video ended and my blood was boiling. He told me she wasn't going to be in any of the videos unless it was an accident. I could tell that Dan put this in on purpose. I bet she made him do it. My hate for this whore was growing at an alarming rate.

I took to twitter to see what Dan was replying. There was nothing. He just tweeted the video and still hadn't replied to anyone. I refreshed a couple of times and still nothing.

I went to Tumblr to see what people were saying. Tumblr is my least favorite way to find out things about Dan. It's where all of his fangirls that write fanfiction are and I hate fanfiction. Dan is mine. He is with me, not any of their characters or that Y/N shit. Plus he's straight so he can't be with Phil.

What I found was that everyone was confused and shocked that she was American. To be honest so was I. Dan would never go for an American. I know for a fact he would want someone from the UK. Me, duh.

Things I've learned so far is that she's fat, ugly, and American. I knew Dan would never go for her and that made me feel a little bit better. I still hate her for making them let her live with them. Dan is mine and there is nothing she can do to change that.

My doorbell rang so I closed my computer to go and answer it. I needed to do something about this slut.

 **asdfghjkl**

I walked around the house looking for things to do. First I went up and got dressed. I just chose a black pair of skinny jeans and decided to try a t-shirt that may or may not be a Dan and Phil one. It didn't hurt too badly. I stuck my phone in my pocket and went down stairs. I did a load of laundry then went to go and tidy the lounge. I got a text from Dan just as I started to tidy the room.

 _Hey just got to the airport. I'll tell you when we are boarding and I'll text you when we land. Have fun._

I texted back a quick okay and then went back to tidying the lounge. It didn't take as long as I hoped it would. I decided I should go and have some breakfast. I felt like having an egg and toast. I cooked and ate almost like I was on autopilot. Grabbing my clean laundry, I made my way up to my room so I could put it away.

I laid on the bed but felt restless so I got up and put away the clothes. Again it didn't take as long and I had hoped it would so I started to adjust things in my room. Soon my room looked like the room of someone with severe OCD. I tried to listen to music but I didn't even make it through the first song before I had to take off the headphones because I wouldn't be able to hear if an intruder came in.

Finally I decided on a walk. I changed my shirt to a tank top and grabbed my jacket, wallet, phone and keys, putting on my converse at the door. I walked aimlessly and before long I realized I walked to work. I entered the coffee shop and walked up to the counter.

"Hey Sam." said the girl behind the counter.

"Hey Emily." I replied.

"I'm surprised to see you in here. What can I get you?" I ordered a coffee and waited patiently.

"Here you go." Emily said, putting my drink on the counter.

"Thank you." I said reaching for my wallet.

"Oh no. Don't worry about it. I go on break soon. Can I come hangout with you?" She asked.

"Yeah." I said with a smile. I took my coffee and walked over to one of the window tables and sat. Emily joined me with her own drink a few minutes later.

"So how have your days off been?" Emily asked taking a sip of her Frappe.

"Good, me and my roommates went to the park and had a picnic and then yesterday I was dying. Did you know the sun can burn you?" I said making Emily laugh.

"Yeah I heard that can happen sometimes." said Emily once her laughter subsided. We were then plunged into silence.

"So what's your work schedule this week?" Emily asked.

"Um I work tomorrow starting at like ten and then I work the evening shifts for the next two days. After that I have nothing really." I replied to her.

"Oh well I was going to ask if you would work Wednesday for me. It's my boyfriend's birthday and we wanted to celebrate together." Emily explained.

"Oh yeah I'll work for you. Is it an evening shift?" I asked.

She nodded.

I asked about what her and her boyfriend had planned to do.

She talked for the rest of her break about their plans. She showed me a couple picture of them together. I have to say that they really were very cute together. Eventually she had to go back to work.

I checked my phone for any messages and I had one from Dan.

 _Hey we're boarding the plane. I'll let you know when we land._

I sat there and thought about what it would be like to be with Dan. I thought about how Dan and I could take cute picture together and I would be able to show them off like Emily and her boyfriend. It would be kind of different because we probably still wouldn't post the pictures anywhere. But then again I don't really know.

I asked myself, if I were to end up dating Dan, would I ever willingly be in a video. The answer to that came more quickly that I thought it would. If I was dating Dan I would do anything for him. I would totally be in one of his videos.

I then asked myself, would I be in a video if Dan asked me and we weren't dating. What surprised me was my answer was different than it used to be: maybe. I thought about how Dan told me that everyone like his newest video. Would it really be so bad being in a video or two? No, I don't think it would be. But I would want to be eased into it and not just thrown in.

I thought about how I absolutely love living with these guys. The fun times we've had since I moved in. How close I've gotten with Phil. None of these things would have ever happened if I didn't move in. Was I ready to give up any future memories with them just because I was scared? Of my feelings and the camera.

Slowly all of those cons didn't matter anymore but in the back of my brain, I heard a little voice. Don't get too ahead of yourself. I felt like I was trying to talk myself into staying purely because it would make the guys happy. But would it make me happy?

I couldn't stay sitting any longer. I felt like I just needed to move. I left my seat and started to walk aimlessly. Then a thought came to mind. In high school, something Lily and I used to do was stress run. When we were feeling particularly stressed or we couldn't think clearly we would run. I really didn't want to run by myself nor did I know any good places to run but I knew the perfect person to run with. I texted Niomi.

" _Hey what are you up to today?"_

 _"_ _Nothing really. Marcus is working on a video. And we have to pack for Vidcon. We don't leave till tonight. Why?"_

 _"_ _Oh I was just wondering if you wanted to go for a run or something but you don't have to if you're busy."_

 _"_ _I would love to. Do you know how to get to our flat?"_

Niomi gave me directions and I started for their flat. I got there quicker than I thought I would. Niomi let me in.

"Hey, how have you been?" She asked pulling me into a hug. We hadn't seen each other since I moved in with Dan and Phil.

"Good. I moved house about a month and a half ago." I said.

"Oh, are you Dan and Phil's new roommate?" She asked already knowing what my answer would be.

"Yup." I said popping the "p".

We hadn't really told many of our friends that I was living with the guys. It just kind of felt safer to have less people know about it. Of course I told Zoe and Louise because they are my closest friends here behind Dan and Phil, but most of the other YouTubers had no clue except for ones that had met me. They could have easily recognized my voice.

"Do you need to borrow some running gear?" asked Niomi looking at my current attire.

I nodded.

"Yeah, please." I said with a smile. I was a little bit bigger than Niomi but some of her older clothes fit me. We both changed and made our way out of the house but not before Niomi let Marcus know she was leaving. They are such a cute couple.

We made our way to a place that Niomi liked to run. When we got there, we sat in the grass and stretched out.

"You know, I was kind of surprised that you texted me. I know you're much closer to Zoe and Louise. Why did you text me?" Niomi asked.

"Louise and Zoe don't run and neither of them are in London. Plus you and I have never hung out just us. I've never really gotten to know you, and I kind of want to." I said. Niomi seemed to accept the answer.

"I didn't think that you ran either." said Niomi.

"I don't normally but I do stress run." I said.

"Okay what is stress running?" Niomi asked.

"When I get really stressed out or need to clear my head, I run. It's the only thing I've found to work. I knew you ran so I asked if you wanted to come." I explained.

Niomi nodded.

I also realized another reason I wanted to talk to Niomi. Her experience with Marcus doing YouTube when she didn't.

We started our run but I quickly found out just how out of shape I was, but I powered though. I let the burning feeling in my legs and lungs become the only thoughts in my mind. I loved the feeling of pushing myself to see just how fast I could go. It got easier but after a mile my endurance was failing fast. We made it two miles before I had to stop. Niomi walked with me the last half mile. When we made it to the grass we both laid on it and properly caught our breath.

"That was a good run. Next time we'll try to go the whole way, yeah?" said Niomi seeming to have already caught her breath.

"Yeah. We definitely need to do this again." I said still sounding a bit winded. I figured now would be the best time to ask about how she was handled the times when Marcus did YouTube when she didn't. Hearing about her experience with it didn't really help me but that was because my situation is a little different than hers.

She didn't live with him at first so therefore she didn't have the joys of a tripod obstacle course. That and she ended up making her own channel eventually. I had no plans of making a channel. Ever. I am content with my blog.

Running with Niomi made me realize just how much I loved to run. Niomi and I decided to race back to her flat. She won but just barely. She let us into her flat and led the way to the kitchen grabbing us both a glass and filling it with water. I thanked her before downing it.

"Hey Nims." Said Marcus coming in and opening up the refrigerator.

"Hey Marbob." She replied.

"How was your run?" Marcus asked.

"Good but Sam here slowed me down." She said giving me a half smile.

"Sorry. I told you I haven't run in a while." I said.

"No it was fun. Next time you should come with us." said Niomi turning to Marcus. I nodded.

"Yeah I will next time." He said.

Once my water was finished I escaped into the bathroom where I freshened up and changed back into my clothes.

"Thanks Niomi. I had a really good time and I feel like I can think clearly now." I said pulling Niomi into a hug.

"Yeah, I'll let you know when we get back and you can text me and let me know when we can go for another run." She replied hugging me back.

"Will do but it may not be until the afternoon if I have to work. Unless I get an evening shift." I explained.

"Oh right. I keep forgetting that you have a normal job. We'll just wait." She said. "Marbob are you coming with us?"

"Yeah if you want me to." He replied.

"I do have one request," I said making them both look at me. "Can you not vlog around me?" I said looking at Marcus.

"Why?" he asked.

I explained that I was living with Dan and Phil and that we were keeping who I was a secret from the viewers and if I was seen in a vlog or someone heard me talk in a vlog, they might know who I was. Marcus understood and promised not to vlog me. I thanked him and left.

They were leaving for Vidcon also but they had a flight later on. So I didn't stay for long so that they could get to packing.

I made my way back to the flat…home. I was still unsure what to call it. The place was completely quiet and I didn't like it. I missed the guys and they hadn't even been gone for a whole 24 hours yet.

When I got to my room I looked over at my dresser where I kept the pictures of my loved ones and my eyes instantly went to the picture of me and Lily. I need to call her. I did a quick calculation of what time it would be over there and then found myself dialing her number.

"About time you called me. I thought you had died or something." I heard through the phone after only a couple of rings.

"A simple hello would have been sufficient." I said back into the phone.

"Damn I miss you."

I giggled thinking back to the conversation I had with Phil about ship names.

"I miss you too. How is everybody at home?" I asked.

"Good but we wish you would call more often." said Lily.

I could see her now. Lips pursed and hand on her hip.

"I'll get right on that." I said. "So how are my parents?"

"Good I guess. They are both working a lot. I see your mom all the time at the diner. It's nice for her to be doing something now that you and Ian moved out." I couldn't picture my mom in a diner. She was always a stay at home mother while my dad worked at the hospital.

"It's so weird thinking of my mom not at home. What about Dad?" I asked.

"Your dad is busy at the hospital a lot. He's picked up more shifts because Dr. O'Riley retired." Lily told me. Dr. O'Riley was one of the only other Doctors that would work anywhere in the hospital. I knew that he was getting old and his kids were begging for him to retire.

"I can't believe he finally retired. I'm pretty sure there was a bet going around that he would never retire and just die at the hospital." I said causing Lily to snort.

"I know. He looked like his heart was going to give out any minute." said Lily causing me to laugh along with her.

"What about my pain in the ass?" I asked feeling like Lily and I were picking up our friendship right where we left off.

"Um, Alexa broke up with Ian." Said Lily hesitating a little before she spoke.

"What?!" I asked shocked.

"Yeah Alexa dumped him. She left him for some guy she met at college." said Lily.

"You have to be kidding me. I knew she was a bitch but I didn't know she could do something like this." I said.

I never really liked Alexa the couple of time that I had met her. She was snobby and stuck up. I could tell she didn't like me from the start. I didn't even get what her problem was with me. I never did anything to her.

"Your brother is kind of depressed. You should really call him, Sammie." said Lily.

Her voice sounded strained.

"How are you doing?" I asked.

I knew she must have been helping Ian get through this. The two have gotten closer since I moved to London. It was almost like Lily was a better sister to my brother than I am.

"Your brother was going to propose to Alexa. I even helped him pick out the ring. He's heartbroken." She said avoiding my question.

"Aww Lily, you helped the love of your life pick out an engagement ring for another girl?" I said not passing up on the change to tease Lily about the crush she has had on my brother since she became my friend. I could never do this in person because she would probably punch me.

"Oh shut up you." said Lily.

I could just imagine how red her face was right now.

"Ian can do better and by better I me you. He could do you. Wait…that sounded wrong. No I don't want my brother to do my best friend. That would be weird. Nor would I want to hear about it. Okay…I'm going to stop now. " I said not being able to stop the word vomit that was escaping my mouth.

"Okay have you gotten more awkward since you moved to London or is that just me?" said Lily laughing at me.

I stuck my tongue out at her and then remembered that she couldn't see it over the phone.

"You just stuck you tongue out at me didn't you?" said Lily sounding smug.

She knew me way too well.

"So what if I did. You can't see me." I said sassing her.

"Yeah but I can still kick your ass, even though the phone." said Lily.

I wanted to stick my tongue out again but I held myself back.

"Fine you win." I said sounding defeated.

"Yeah so what's new with you?" Lily asked.

"I, um, moved." I said.

"Cool. Where?" I knew she wasn't really interested but she would be soon enough.

"With Dan and Phil." I said.

"What? You moved in with…the boys." She said the boys quietly.

"Lily why are you whispering?" I whispered back.

"Your brother just walked in." she whispered again.

"Okay." I whispered causing Lily to laugh. One thing that I love about Lily is that her laugh is infectious. When she started laughing I couldn't help but laugh along.

"Yeah I moved in with Dan and Phil. It was only temporary but they've asked me to stay." I said.

"Yeah I saw Dan's new video. It was hilarious. What did you tell them?" Lily questioned.

"I told them I would think about it. When they are filming, it gets kind of crazy here. That and the stupid crush I have on Dan." I said.

"Oh my goodness, I forgot all about that. How are you holding up?" she asked.

"Fine. Phil knows so I can talk to him. He and I have gotten really close actually." I said laying down on my bed and staring at the ceiling.

"I'm glad you have someone to talk to. So are going to live with them?" she asked making me assume my brother had left the room.

"I don't know. Is it really a good idea to live with someone who you're falling in love with?" I said instantly regretting it.

"Sammie you love him! You have to tell him. Oh my God. You have to tell him." said Lily getting a little more excited that she normally would.

"Lily, I can't. He doesn't like me back." I said with a sigh.

"How do you know? Did you ask him?" she asked already knowing what my answer would be.

"No I didn't ask him." I said my voice flat.

"Then how would you know. Dan could be totally in love with you and think that you don't like him back." Said Lily.

"Yeah Phil already tried that one but he and I decided that Dan would probably tell Phil if he liked me. He still thinks I should say something though." I said thinking back to one of the many conversation I had with Phil.

"Yeah well I agree with your British replacement of me." She said with fake hurt in her voice.

"He gives better hugs so…" I said playing along with her.

We talked for what felt like hours. She filled me in on the latest drama with her parents and at her school. She told me about cheering and how she landed some really difficult move I don't remember the name of. Talking with her felt like we had just picked up where we left off the last time we talked.

"So when are you going to come and visit me?" Lily asked just before we were going to end the call.

"When do you get out of your summer classes?" I asked wanting to spend as much time with Lily as I possibly could.

"I'm done after this week." She replied.

"I'll look into flights and how much they cost and I'll get back to you." I said.

"Okay talk to you later. Bye."

"Bye." I hung up the phone and felt very lonely again. I double checked to make sure the door was locked and then went to the lounge. Everything reminded me of Dan and Phil. It made me realize how much I missed them already.

I watched TV for a little while but I was opening the store in the morning so I had to go to bed early but I just couldn't fall asleep knowing I was in the flat all alone.


	9. Chapter 8

**Chapter 8**

The next three days seemed to fly by. My mind was only filled with working and sleeping. I'm shocked I remembered to eat. It left little time to miss the boys but it also left little time to think about my answer. It seemed that the day I was supposed to give my answer grew closer and closer.

I did however find the time to look up the cost of a flight and book one for the week after the guys got back. I worked it out with my boss so I would be working every day except for the day before I left. I managed to get three weeks off in case for some reason I had a hard time getting back. I switched my current days for the weeks I was gone with some of my coworkers and payday was the day that I left so everything worked out perfectly. I missed my family and Lily. I was in desperate need of time with my best friend of all time.

Tuesday was my day off and I had a lot of house work to do. Mostly just dishes that I didn't have time to do since the guys left and a couple loads of laundry. It seemed like I was never caught up on laundry. Probably because I change my clothes like three times a day. I also vacuumed the rug in my room. Since I spend a lot of time down there it needs to be vacuumed often.

I finished a blog post and posted it. I also answered some comments from my last post which was about the picnic. I got a lot of comments about the pictures and how good they were. I was going to have to thank Phil for taking a few of them when he got home.

I ended up getting bored and I texted Phil and telling him now instead.

" _Hey Phil. How's California?"_

 _"Good. Busy. We are seeing a lot of friends."_

 _"Cool! I just wanted to thank you for taking some of those pictures the other day at the park. I got a lot of comments on my blog about them."_

 _"Yeah no problem. I'm glad people liked them."_

 _"So what are you guys up to now?"_

 _"We're getting coffee with some friends. Can I text you later?"_

 _"Yeah no problem. Have fun."_

 _"Thanks. We will."_

He never did text me back but I understood that they were hanging out with friends that they didn't normally get to hang out with. I was glad that they were having fun. Even if I did miss them terribly, I wasn't going to pull them away.

I did however get a Skype call from Dan and Phil. They chatted to me about all of the fun things they were doing at Vidcon. They told me that a lot of other YouTubers were wondering who had moved in with them. They didn't tell any of them anything. I told them that Niomi and Marcus knew because I went for a run with Niomi. The only YouTubers that knew I was living with Dan and Phil were Louise and Zoe and they were sworn to secrecy. Of course Zoe could tell Alfie but that was it.

The call was short because they were going out to eat with Cat. I told them to have fun and that I would see them on Friday. I passed out right after the call ended.

Now it was Thursday. The day before the guys came back and I still didn't have an answer to living with the guys. That was my task for today. There was a lot of back and forth in my head. I even ran up and down the stairs a couple of times to try and clear my head and even that didn't work.

I laid face down on my fuzzy carpet. Finally I broke down and called Lily.

"Here try this. Can you picture yourself living with them?" she asked me after I had finally calmed down and stopped asking her my hysterical questions that were running thought my brain a mile a minute.

"Yes." I replied quickly.

"Can you picture yourself living on your own, without either of them?" she questioned.

It took me longer to answer.

"No, I can't." I said with a sigh.

"Then you have your answer. It's okay if in the end it doesn't work out. They will both love you just the same." said Lily.

Her words helped me a lot. She had always been the calm rational one while I was over emotional and jumped to conclusions. We evened each other out.

"Since when did you become so all knowing and wise?" I asked sarcastically.

"It's a gift."

I could picture the look on her face now causing my frown to turn into a small smile.

We hung up and I retreated back into my brain.

So I can't picture myself not living with them. If Dan asked I would be in a video with him. I didn't want to miss out on the possible memories I could have with the guys. So what then, was holding me back? I knew what it was but did I want to admit it to myself?

Then in my head I heard a voice that sounded strangely like Lily say you love him you idiot. You are in love with your best friend. You love Dan. Say it out loud Sammie.

"I love Dan." I said listening to the voice.

"Wow Sammie. Talking to yourself because a voice in your head told you too. You're not crazy now are you?" I said to myself.

It was only noon and I had managed to admit to myself that I was in love with my best friend not that I really believed it. I don't see how this day could get any better. Please note the extreme sarcasm. Thank you.

"God I'm so weird." I said to myself.

I literally felt like I was going insane.

Can I control my feelings for Dan and still live with him? Yes.

Am I saying that only because I want to live with Dan and Phil? Yes.

Does that mean I can't control my feelings for Dan if I move in with the guys permanently? Not necessarily.

I remembered Lily's words. If it doesn't work, that's okay. They will love you just the same. Would they? If Dan found out about my feelings, would he love me the same? Would we stay friends? Could I if he didn't reciprocate my feelings? Or would we fall out? The voice that sounded strangely like Lily was back.

How will you know if you never try? How will you know you can't control your feelings living with Dan? How do you know he won't like you back? Put yourself out there Sammie. You can do it. I believe in you. And if we wanna get technical, I'm you. So therefore you believe in you.

I needed to get up and move. I stood and did a once over of the whole house. It was spotless. Both of the machines were still going so I had nothing to do. I just paced around the house. When I looked up I was in Dan's room. It smelled like him. I looked around at all of his things and suddenly felt like I was intruding but I pushed it away.

I went over and sat at the piano. The guys were gone and I couldn't resist the call of the piano any longer. I sat just pushing random keys and chords. It ended up turning into a melody I recognized but couldn't place. I remembered the keys to push but I couldn't remember what it was called.

When I looked up from the piano, the intruding feeling came back and I couldn't ignore it this time. I got up and left Dan's room. My phone vibrate in my pocket again. It was a text from Dan.

" _Hey boarding the flight home now. See you soon :D"_

 _"Okay have a safe flight."_

In my head I added an "I love you" to the end of the text. Goddammit Sammie. Pull yourself together.

It was almost five in the evening and I wasn't feeling particularly hungry so I walked into the lounge and laid face down on the sofa.

By now I had made a list of reasons to stay and reasons to leave and one of them seemed to be much longer than the other.

Reasons to leave: One, filming, but I felt like I could possibly get used to it eventually. Two, my stupid crush thing. It was just extremely inconvenient. I made it a mission to forget about the crush thing and just move on with my life. Three, the Phangirls. I was pretty sure I could handle them but I don't wanna be too cocky. They can be a bit crazy at times.

Reasons to stay: One, I get to hang out with my best friends all the time. Two, I don't have to cook as much. A purely selfish reason. Three, that damned crush on Dan. It's like he is a drug that's just out of reach and I am the addict that's still desperately trying to reach for it even thought my brain is telling me not to. Four, this flat is affordable seeing as rent is now split three ways. Five, I live close to work which is extremely convenient. Six, this flat feels more like home that home does, but maybe that's just London in general.

As you can see my reasons to stay list is much longer and I could deal with the reasons to leave. Then and there I made up my mind. I was going to stay. I was going to live with Dan and Phil for good. This whole internal struggle thing was mentally exhausting and within five minutes I was fast asleep.

The next thing I knew I was being lifted. I inhaled deeply and the scent was very familiar but in my half-conscious state I just couldn't seem to put my finger on it. I was jostled a little but I just didn't seem to have the energy to open my eyes. I felt cool bed sheets under me and it was very comfortable except for the fact that I was still wearing jeans. All thoughts were soon forgotten because I fell back asleep as soon and my head touched the pillow.

The scent lingered in my nose as I entered the dream world.

I was sitting with Dan on a hill. We were watching the sun sink down into the ocean. As the last rays of sun disappeared I looked over at Dan and he was looking at me with a small smile on his lips. My eyes flicked from his lips back up to his eyes and his smile widened. I felt his had touch mine then slowly entwine with my fingers.

I let myself fall into his eyes. It was something I had never let myself do before out of fear that I would kiss him. But right now it felt like the only right thing to do. Looking at them now, I never realized how deep his eyes really were.

Here in the dark there was no distinction between his iris and pupil and instead of the chocolate brown they normally were they were almost black. They matched his aesthetic perfectly. I wanted nothing more than to fall into them and never return.

"I love your eyes." Dan said it barely above a whisper. "I love your hair and how soft it always is. I love the face you make when you get lost in a book. How your forehead crinkles and you sometimes bite your thumb nail but never bite it off."

I tried to speak but for some reason the words just wouldn't come out.

"I love how your arms wrap around me when you hug me and it feel like you belong there. You fit like puzzle piece. I love when you beat me at a video game. The look you get in your eyes and how sometimes you can't hold back a yell of victory. I sometimes let you win just so I can see your victory dance." Again I tried to open my mouth to speak but it was like my lips had been sewn together.

"I have been so scared to tell you all of this and I want nothing more than to finally tell you that… I love you. I love all of you. Even the fact that you almost never listen to a song the whole way through before you change it. The fact that you say "knock on wood" when it's "touch wood"." I wanted to tell him that I love him too but my voice was gone. I imagine this is how Ariel felt when Ursula took her voice.

"I love you so much that sometimes all I can think about if kissing your lips. Sometimes I almost do… but I know you don't feel the same. How could you? You so amazing and beautiful and you're too good for me. But I love you and I always will." He squeezed my hand and I felt lips press to my forehead. Then my hand was empty and his eyes were gone and I just wanted him back.

I wanted to hug him and tell him that he is all I ever wanted. I wanted to tell him that I love him more than he could ever realize. I wanted to tell him that I could never be too good for him. I wanted to tell him how much I looked up to him, not just because of the height difference. I wanted to tell him he was the only one I wanted.

I felt something slimy moving across my cheek and over my mouth. I knew what was coming but I couldn't stop it. I felt it wrap around my mouth and nose and down my neck and then it started pulling me down the hill to the water. I clawed at my face hoping I could pull it off but I couldn't.

I was under the water in second. I thrashed around and all that happened was the seaweed tightened around my face. I wanted to scream but my voice was still gone so I just screamed in my head. It was pulling me down to the bottom of the ocean. Just above me I could see a hand in the water reaching out to me but no matter how hard I tried to grab it I just couldn't reach.

I woke suddenly sitting up and taking a deep breath. I could finally breathe. I was completely disoriented and had no clue where I was but I could breathe so I didn't really care. I took a few deep breaths and laid back. These fucking dreams will be the death of me.

Why does my brain have to tease me about Dan in almost every dream I have. All those things he said, I know he would never actually say them. I would so much rather go back to the dream world where Dan loved me. Even if I do drown in the ocean by the evil seaweed.

Once again I felt myself drifting back to sleep but this time there was no Dan to greet me. Instead I was met with total darkness.

 **asdfghjkl**

I slowly opened my eyes. This is not where I fell asleep. I looked around my room and wondered how I got here. Then I remembered the sensation of being lifted. They were home. And one of them carried me up here. They were home. I jumped out of bed.

I quickly changed into leggings and a t-shirt. Then tied my loose hair into a messy bun. I quietly exited my room not wanting to wake them up if they were still asleep. I managed to make it down to the lounge without breaking something. It was empty. I made my way further down the hall and peeked into Dan's room. He was fast asleep. I didn't want to bother him because he looked so peaceful while he slept. I moved on to peek in Phil's room.

He had his eyes closed but I could tell he wasn't asleep. I walked in and laid on the bed next to him. When he felt the bed dip he opened his eyes and smiled up at me.

"Hey Sam." Phil said in a sleepy voice.

"Hey, how was Vidcon?" I asked making myself comfortable.

"It was good. We got to see a lot of friends. I have an arm cramp, you mind?" said Phil putting his arm under my head.

I turned to face him and told him I didn't mind.

"On a scale of one to ten how much fun did you have?" I asked.

Out of the corner of my eye I saw a dark figure go past the door. I just figured it was my imagination playing tricks on me, trying to scare me. It had been doing it for the past week and I just started to ignore it now. I knew the doors were locked so there couldn't be an intruder.

"A million." said Phil in response.

I couldn't help but laugh. I really did miss my friends. This place was too quiet without them. And creepy.

"So what did you do with the house all to yourself for a week?" Phil asked.

"Well, um, I worked four days. Did a lot of house work, and called my friend Lily. You remember me telling you about my friend from home." I said.

Phil nodded. I told him all of the things I did, leaving out the part about going home for a visit and my decision to stay.

"Wow you managed to do a lot of things." said Phil.

I knew he wanted me to tell him my answer but I wasn't going to give it to him until he asked and I wanted to tell Dan at the same time.

"Yup." I said popping the "p".

"I've missed you." said Phil wrapping me in a hug completely out of the blue.

"I've missed you too. It's too quiet when you guys are gone. Next time take me with you." I said getting up off the bed when Phil released the hug.

I figured I'd let Phil rest for a while.

Phil's laughter followed me out of his room. I felt like I needed caffeine so I made my way to the kitchen for a cup of coffee. When I turned the corner I saw Dan standing there making a cup for himself. I walked in a little further.

"Hey." I said softly trying not to make him jump.

"Hey." Dan said without turning around.

I wanted to reach out and touch his shoulder, but I restrained myself.

"How was Vidcon?" I asked leaning up against the counter beside him, trying to make eye contact with him.

"I'm sure Phil already told you all about it." Dan mumbled.

I knew I wasn't supposed to hear it but I did anyway.

"So?" I asked choosing to ignore his statement.

"It was good. Saw a lot of friends." Dan said.

His answers were short.

"Okay that's exactly what Phil said. What did you do fun? Tell me stories." I said bumping my shoulder against Dan's.

"Later. I have some editing to do." And with that Dan left.

I stood in the kitchen in a state of shock. Dan had never really been like this before to me. Something was up with him and I needed to know what it was. I decided to follow him into his room.

"Daniel, something is wrong and you are going to tell me." I said standing in his door and crossing my arms.

Dan just looked at me. I decided that I had no choice but to hug it out of him. I was across the room and hugging him before he even knew what hit him.

"Sam! What are you doing?" said Dan.

I could tell he was slightly angry but I didn't care. I just held on.

"You're grumpy so I'm hugging you until you feel better. Tell me what's wrong." I said.

"Hhhh. What is going on with you and Phil?" Dan asked quietly.

That is not what I expected him to say at all.

"Nothing." I said still hugging him.

"Okay." He replied.

"So are you going to let go of me so I can edit or are you just gonna stay there?" Dan asked trying to lighten the mood and failing abysmally.

I could tell his attempt at lightheartedness wasn't genuine. He was still grumpy on the inside but I could tell he was trying to hide it. I brushed off Dan's grumpy mood accounting it to just be jet lag.

"I don't know. You're warm and you give the best hugs so I think I'll just stay here all morning." I said loosening my grip so Dan could have his arms back.

He freed them and then wrapped them around me.

"I don't really give the best hugs do I?" Dan asked sarcastically and disbelieving while giving me a squeeze.

I could feel his body relax into the hug. I knew he wanted to lighten the mood so I was going to lighten it.

"The absolute bestest hugs ever and don't pretend you don't know what I'm talking about." I said.

We had had this conversation multiple times.

"No I know I give the best hugs, I just wanted to hear you say it." said Dan.

I could tell he was still grumpy but I managed to make his mood at least seem a little better. We let go of each other before it got too weird. Honestly I didn't want to let go.

"Now when are you going to tell me what happened at Vidcon?" I asked taking a step back before I grabbed on to him again.

"The same time you tell me you're moving in for good." said Dan.

"Fine I'm never ever moving in." I said sticking my tongue out.

"Then I guess I'll never ever tell you about Vidcon." I frowned dramatically crossing my arms and putting on a pout.

"No, no pouting in my room. Stick that lip back in and un-wrinkle that forehead of yours unless you was permanent wrinkles." said Dan poking me in the forehead where I assumed the wrinkles were.

I couldn't hold back the smile any longer. Dan smiled knowing he had gotten a smile out of me.

"I really do need to get some work done you know." said Dan turning to his computer after a minute of standing there in silence.

"Okay but come and watch something with me and Phil later." I said. The slight frown was back on Dan's face. I really needed to know what was really bothering him.

"Okay maybe." Said Dan.

I wasn't content with the answer but I decided it was good enough. My need for caffeine was starting to make me shaky so I could no longer ignore my body's want for coffee.

I went back to the kitchen and proceeded to make myself a cup. The house felt different now that they guys were back. It felt warmer and more like home. To be honest, it has felt like home since I decided to stay. Meaning since I fell asleep last night.

I took my coffee and retreated up to my room. It was probably going to be a while before the boys wanted to get up and do anything. I still remember after last year's Vidcon.

Dan had just gotten back to London when I texted him and asked if he wanted to come over. He sent his bags with Phil and headed over to my flat. Dan looked exhausted when he walked through the door but declined my offer of coffee.

We sat on the couch for a while and he told me about all of the things that happened. He told me about all of his American friends and the parties and the fun that he had. I could tell by his smile that he loved meeting viewers and seeing his friends just from the way he talked.

He even told me about Phil's obsession with American pancakes. This was when I made the mistake of telling Dan that I knew how to make them.

After our chat, I asked Dan if he wanted to watch a movie. He of course said yes. It wasn't even five minutes into the movie when I heard deep breathing and looked over to find Dan fast asleep on the couch. He slept most the rest of the day and most of the night.

Once in my room I sat on the carpet and just drank my coffee, thinking. I thought about the dream last night but parts of it were now too fuzzy to recall. I just remember it was about Dan. I wonder what Dan meant when he asked what was going on with Phil and me. I mean Phil and I haven't really been any different than normal except for the fact that he and I are closer than we were before I moved in.

Maybe that's why he asked. I have been distancing myself from Dan and I've been getting closer to Phil. Does he think I'm replacing him with Phil? I really hope not. I need to spend more time with Dan but at the same time I don't want to spend too much time with him. Well I guess I'll have plenty of time now that I'm living with the guys. Let's just hope I can handle it.


	10. Chapter 9

**Hi! I just quickly wanted to say thank you to Romanow who has left two reviews. Thank you! Reviews make me so happy/excited. I literally dance around my room.**

 **I've gotten a few questions that I feel like I need to answer.**

 **1\. No I am not going to kill Dan or Phil or anyone for that matter.**

 **2\. You have probably noticed that I go into the POV of a crazy fangirl. I have plans for her (insert evil laughter here). For now we are just going to call her Dangirl. (and that's not just because I don't have a name for her yet .)**

 **I'm trying to stay as true to character for Dan and Phil as possible. They are real people and I like them the way they are so I don't really want to change anything about them. Having said that, I don't feel comfortable writing from Dan's or Phil's POV because I don't know them and I don't know how they think. When you do see some incite as to what they are thinking, it's third person POV. Why I say this is in this chapter there is a really important scene but Sam can't be there so my only option was third person. Now that I've done it one, I plan to include it more often.**

 **This was one of my most favorite chapters to write. (I'm currently writing chapter 20. I write really slowly so I thought I'd have some saved up seeing as since I started posting I've only written one chapter.)**

 **I love questions so if you have any, feel free to ask them. I'll answer as well as I can without giving anything away because I hate spoilers almost as much as Dan.**

 **Sorry for such a long Author's Note but that you for reading. Enjoy chapter nine. :D**

 **Chapter 9**

I drank my coffee quicker than I thought I would. Apparently thinking and drinking is like eating and watching TV you don't know you're doing it until it's gone. I figured I should probably go take a shower so I didn't smell. I grabbed a pair of shorts, and a sports bra then made my way to the bathroom.

The bathroom smelled like Dan's body wash. Is it weird to say that I missed it? I just kind of stood there for a second and breathed deeply. I really did miss having the guys around. I snapped out of my internal monologue before it took over and went to start the shower. I put my clothes on the sink and looked in the mirror.

I still looked like me. I was in desperate need of a haircut and the blond strip had grown out to my chin, but I still looked like me. My hair was still the same brown. My eyes still the same dull gray color. I was still pale because of the lack of sun except for my shoulders and the weird pattern on my back where I was sunburned that was now a funny looking tan. I could hear Lily laughing at me.

Literally everything was the same but something felt different. I don't know what it was but I just felt different. I undressed and climbed into the stream of warm water. As the water fell, I felt the muscles in my back loosen. It was like all of the residual stress of my internal struggle and decision making of whether or not to stay, was washing down the drain.

I washed my hair and body and got out of the shower quickly. While drying off I caught sight of my back in the mirror and couldn't help but laugh at myself. Lily would say it looked like I was part zebra or something. I realized that I have been thinking about Lily a lot recently. I should call her again. I don't count the desperate decision making phone call. I made a mental note and finished drying off.

I wrapped my hair up in a towel and proceeded to brush my teeth. No one likes coffee breath now do they? I caught myself looking at my appearance in the mirror again. I took a step back and really looked at myself. I still couldn't find the difference.

"You are strong enough. You can do it. I believe in you." I said aloud giving myself a little pep talk before going to hang out with the guys. I was stronger than this crush. I can sit in a room with Dan. I can touch him without butterflies erupting in my stomach. I can talk to him without accidently blurting out that I loved him.

Dan is my best friend. Yeah I may possibly be in love with him but that doesn't mean I can't still be his friend. I will beat these feelings. I will do my best to push them down until they no longer exist. It'll be a slow process, but I can do it. I can forget that I might love Dan. And to prove it, I'm going to sit by him while we watch the movie. Just like we used to.

It'll be just like old times. I'm going to be like I used to be around him. Like the time we went on a surprise journey to somewhere I had never been before. I thought back to that day now.

Dan and I hadn't known each other for very long, but he and I were already starting to get close. That day I had an urge to explore and go on an adventure. I walked over to Dan and Phil's flat. Phil let me in almost instantly.

"You know Dan isn't awake yet." said Phil when I walked through the door.

It was before Phil and I got to know each other at all so there was still tension between us.

"Yeah I figured he would still be sleeping." I replied making my way to Dan's room.

I walked in to find a shirtless Dan cuddling with a pillow. I laughed to myself before jumping on him and waking him up.

"Wake up, wake up, wake up." I said straddling him and shaking his shoulder.

"Mmm gedoff." He mumbled wiggling a bit trying to shake me off.

"No. Get out of bed right now." I said starting to tickle him.

His eyes popped open.

"Stop, stop, stop." I stopped tickling him instantly.

"Good now that you're awake, get dressed, you're coming with me." I said getting off of him and pulling the blanket with me.

He moaned and groaned a bit and I found it hilarious. He was moving too slowly so I tossed a shirt and pair of shorts at him. He dressed reluctantly and barely had time to grab his phone and wallet before I grabbed his arm and pulled him out of his flat and down to my car.

Once in the car, I just started to drive in random directions.

"Where are we going?" Dan asked about twenty minutes in to the car ride.

"I have no clue. It's an adventure. Shut up and enjoy the ride." I said handing him my iPod that was plugged into my car radio.

He would never let me control the music and today was no different. We drove for a couple of hours singing along to the songs the whole time. We stopped to get gas and food at the first place we found.

I convinced Dan to let me control the music if I let him drive. That day was so much fun. We got completely lost and stumbled across a lake. It reminded me so much of home. Looking at it, I had the sudden urge to jump in.

It took a while but I finally managed to convince Dan to jump in with me. We stripped down to our underwear and made our way to the end of the dock. I laced my fingers with Dan's and we jumped off. The water was colder than I thought it would be. I remember my next thought after holy shit this is cold, was thank God I'm not wearing white underwear.

I clung to Dan for warmth until my body adjusted to the water. We swam and splashed and acted like children. We were carefree and just enjoying life. We didn't have to worry about being seen together. In this moment with him, he was just Dan and I was just Sam. We were two friends having the time of our lives with not a worry in the world.

We played in the water for such a long time that the sun had started to go down. I was freezing. Dan made me get out of the water because my lips were turning blue. The two of us retreated to my abandoned car for warmth and drinkable water. We started the car and huddled in the back seat together trying to warm up.

We ended up sleeping in my car that night. In the morning we dressed and I punched Dan's address into my GPS. The drive home wasn't as fun but that was because we had to go back to our normal lives. We still sang along with every song that played but I could see in Dan's eyes that he didn't want this day to end and neither did I.

That trip was the first time I had ever seen his hobbit hair. It's probably one of my favorite memories with him. Thinking back to it now, I realized how much things had changed.

Dan was no longer just Dan. Now he is Dan Howell, content creator, book author, actor, yes I am talking about his lines in Big Hero 6. They totally count. And I was still just Sam Daven, college dropout, barista, and blogger that made no money from actually blogging.

I also thought back to how I used to be around Dan. When did I suddenly become so self-conscious around him? I check my hair before I go down to breakfast for Christ sake. I used to not care. That carefree girl was Dan's best friend. When did I stop being her? When I realized I liked Dan more than just a friend?

Now is definitely not the time to be thinking about things like that. I shook my head and finished brushing my teeth.

I took care of my dirty laundry and then made my way up to the lounge bumping into Phil on the way up.

"Hey Sam, sorry I have to bail on the movie today. I just got a call from my mum. She's in London and wanted to get lunch. You don't mind, do you?" Phil asked.

"Oh no. Of course not. Go have fun. Tell you mom I said hi. Not that I've met her but still. I'll see you whenever you get home." I said to Phil giving him a quick hug.

Well looks like it's just me and Dan. I finished my ascent up the stairs and made my way into the lounge. I started to set up for the perfect movie/TV episode marathon ever. After I grabbed a couple of warm blankets for when my feet got cold a pillow off my bed, I realized we were missing some things for a proper TV marathon. I figured I would have time to go and get them. I put on a shirt, changed into some leggings, and stuffed my feet into my combat boots.

I needed salty buttery popcorn so I walked to the nearest shop and picked up a box along with some soda and some chocolate. I grabbed a box of Maltesers for Dan knowing they were one of his favorites. After checking out and getting a few weird looks at the amount of candy I had picked up, I practically ran home.

I dropped off all of the goodies I bought in the kitchen. I put the soda in the fridge and left everything else on the counter. Dan said he was going to be editing so I figured I'd just sit in the lounge for a bit while I waited. But when I turned the corner into the lounge. I found a now dressed Dan sitting in his sofa crease.

"Hey I thought you were editing." I said causing Dan to jump slightly.

"Oh yeah I figured I'd take a break. I looked around the house to see if you and Phil were here but it looked like you both had left." said Dan.

"Oh yeah I ran into Phil when he was running out the door. His mom called him and she's in London and wanted to get lunch. I thought Phil would have told you." I said coming over and sitting on the arm of the sofa.

"Nope." said Dan very focused on his laptop that was currently sitting on his lap.

He had yet to get into the browsing position.

"Hey Dan, move you laptop." I said.

He gave me a look like he thought I was kidding but when he saw I wasn't he moved it on to the sofa cushion beside him looked back up at me. I could tell he was hoping I wasn't planning on jumping on him. Instead I sat between Dan and the arm of the couch putting my left leg over Dan's lap. I left my right leg tucked underneath me.

"What are you doing?" Dan asked.

"Getting comfy." I replied.

Dan laughed. I could tell he was thinking back to the same time I was.

It was the first couple of weeks into our friendship and I had invited him over to watch a movie with me. We watched My Neighbor Totoro. It was the first time I had seen it. I had been uncomfortably sitting the whole night and then I just decided that I didn't care and I was going to sit comfortably. I put both of my legs in Dan's lap. We had a similar conversation to the one that we just had. This was just before our road trip adventure.

I grabbed the TV remote and let Dan control the TV. While he flicked thought the channels I place my left hand on my thigh that was sitting in Dan's lap. When Dan found a channel he was happy with, he put the remote down and placed his left hand next to mine on my thigh.

The second his hand made contact with my leg, the butterflies erupted. I think I need a butterfly net to catch these pesky butterflies. I kept my face devoid of emotion but on the inside I was screaming. His hand was so close to mine and it was very warm on my leg. I tried to push thoughts like that down and focus in the TV.

My plan worked for the most part until Dan grabbed my hand. I looked at him out of the corner of my eye. His eyes were glued to the TV. He started playing with my fingers. Just as before, the butterflies had erupted full force. I realized I would need pesticide the get these damned things under control. Again I kept my face devoid of emotion but this time I just couldn't focus on the TV. Instead I turned all of my focus into not moving.

I didn't want Dan to stop nor did I want Dan to notice the tension that was starting in my back. I wanted so desperately to look at his face but I knew if I looked at him, he would realize what he was doing and stop.

I continued to keep glancing at him out of the corner of my eye. I could've sworn that I saw Dan looking at me but I couldn't be sure because I didn't get a good look before I looked away again. It felt like Dan was about to lace his fingers with mine when I heard a voice from behind me.

"Oh, I-I'm… sorry." said a very awkward Phil.

I looked up at him just as he was darting out of the room.

Dan got up without a word and followed Phil into the Phil's bedroom room shutting the door behind him. I just sat there slightly shocked and confused. Did I do something wrong?

 **asdfghjkl**

Dan followed Phil out of the lounge and into Phil's room. He had to apologize for what it looked like was going on in there. Dan didn't want Phil to think Sam was cheating on him or something. Dan knew Sam would never go for him. She was too beautiful.

"Phil," Dan started but was cut off by Phil.

"What was that?" asked Phil. He didn't sound mad.

"We, uh, we were watching TV and she just kind of put her leg on me. I um, didn't have anywhere to put my hand and I just kind of stuck it on her leg. While watching the show I absentmindedly started playing with her hand and I didn't even notice until you came in." said Dan in a rush trying to just get to the point.

Phil just looked at him totally confused, but Dan hadn't looked up yet so he wouldn't have noticed. Dan continued.

"I'm so sorry. I know you and Sam are kind of like a thing. It was a total accident and it'll never happen again. Don't blame her. I don't think she even noticed until you came in, either." said Dan.

Phil looked at him with a shocked and extremely confused look on his face.

"Dan, Sam and I aren't a thing. I mean she is absolutely gorgeous, but eww. It would be like dating my sister." said Phil pulling a slightly disgusted face.

Phil was telling the truth. Sam had always felt like a little sister to him, well almost always. He could never have feelings like that for her.

"It's okay I know about you two. I am kind of ticked off that you didn't tell me but, wait did you say you weren't a thing?" said Dan realizing what had Phil said.

"No Dan, Sam and I are not together and we never ever will be. She doesn't like me like that and I don't like her like that." said Phil practically spelling it out for Dan.

Phil wanted so badly to tell him that Sam had eyes for someone else but he swallowed the words before they escaped his mouth.

"So then why did you leave in such a hurry when you saw me holding her hand?" Dan asked curiously.

"I didn't know but you maybe you were possibly together." said Phil awkwardly.

He chose his words carefully.

"Yeah right. I wish, but she doesn't like me like that." Said Dan.

In his head Phil was screaming. He didn't know if he should tell Dan that Sam liked him or if he should tell Sam that Dan liked her or if he should just keep his mouth shut and let destiny take its course. Either of the first choses would cause his roommates to never trust him with a secret again.

"How do you know if you don't ask her?" said Phil deciding that keeping his mouth shut was the best option.

"Oh come on. You said it yourself, she's absolutely gorgeous. Someone as beautiful, kind, and bright as her would never go for someone as awkward and unattractive as me." said Dan.

Phil wanted to burst out with Sam's secret but he knew even if things turned out okay, Sam would never trust him with anything ever again. Sam's trust was worth more to him.

"Dan, that's not true. It's Sam. She's your best friend besides me. She would still love you… even if it's not the way you want her to." said Phil catching himself before he outed Sam.

"I doubt it." said Dan.

Dan had tried to forget about his feelings for Sam but every time, it seemed he was a giant rubber band. He would pull himself away but the feelings were snapped back into place each time.

"Okay, tell me this, how long have you liked Sam?" Phil asked.

Dan debated whether or not to tell Phil about it. In the end he decided fuck it. Phil was his best friend and he needed to talk about this to someone.

"Remember the day Sam showed up at 8 am and pulled me out of bed forcing me to get dressed and I didn't come home until the next day?" Phil nodded. "We found ourselves at a lake. She convinced me to strip down to my underwear and jump off the dock with her. No other girl could have ever gotten me to do that. I realized I liked her more than a friend the day I got back."

"I just kind of stared at the ceiling and thought over the day. She has gotten me to do things I don't think I would have ever done if it weren't for her." said Dan finally admitting to his best friend about the feeling's he had been keeping to himself for so long.

"But since she moved in it's like she's pulling away. I thought at first that she was pulling away because she was with you and now I just don't know anymore. Then today it's almost like she's the same Sam that got me to jump into the water in nothing but my underwear."

"Dan, why didn't you tell me about all of this sooner?" said Phil rubbing his forehead. He was getting a headache from keeping everything in.

"Come on Phil, you and I both know you can't keep a secret for shit." Said Dan. Phil so badly wanted to correct him but if he did he in turn would just be proving Dan right.

"Yeah well I kept the book secret, didn't I?" said Phil.

"Yeah but you almost let it slip so many times." said Dan.

Phil sighed knowing Dan was right, but at that time he had been keeping two secrets. The book and Sam's.

"Well I'm really glad that you've told me now. And just know, I'm always here for when you want to talk." said Phil putting his hand on Dan's shoulder.

And if Dan did want to talk, Phil prayed he wouldn't let anything about Sam's feelings slip. Or let anything about Dan's feelings slip when he talked to Sam.

"Thanks Phil. I'm glad I finally told you." said Dan being completely truthful.

He was glad that he finally had someone to talk to about all of this.

"Okay, well I'm going to go and talk to Sam. She probably thinks were both mad at her or something." said Phil moving to walk past Dan.

"Wait. You can't tell her." said Dan.

"No of course not." replied Phil.

"Phil, promise me?" said Dan with a desperate look in his eyes.

"Dan I promise I won't tell the girl that you are clearly in love with that you are in fact in love with her." said Phil. "That's your job."

"Thank you." said Dan looking relieved and ignoring that last statement.

"Oh and one more thing, I just realized I was so worried that I didn't even say anything to her before I left."

Dan looked worried. Phil just nodded and left the room. Dan looked around Phil's room feeling awkward about being in his room without Phil. He decided to go to his own room. Once there he laid face down on his bed. He was relieved to have told someone but at the same time, he was terrified that Phil would let something slip.

 **Oh I almost forgot. When I get to ten reviews I'll post a two chapters in the same week. :D**

 **Purpledragon93, your comments don't count so :P**

 **p.s. I'm going to give shoutouts to people who review so if you want a shoutout...**


	11. Chapter 10

**I seriously can't believe that I had ten reviews already. I'm kind of speechless. Thank you.**

 **Again I got some questions.**

 **1\. Dan and Dangirl will not, have not, and will never be a couple. I have much bigger plans for her than that.**

 **2\. I was asked to make the chapters longer. Each chapter is five-seven pages but I'm keeping it like that for a reason. When I get into a chapter, it could end up being anywhere from ten to fifteen pages. Originally it was but I cut all of the chapters in half and added a bit more detail. None of my chapters are completely finished until I post them so I try to make them a little longer before I post while also trying to make it better.**

 **Because the chapters aren't totally done before I post, it takes a little longer to post because I have to do a once over and fine tune everything to fit in the story how I want.**

 **Anyway, enjoy chapter ten. You deserve it.**

 **Chapter 10**

I sat in the lounge dazed and confused. For some reason I felt like I did something wrong. Should I have stopped Dan when he started playing with my fingers? Did Phil think something was going on between me and Dan? Would Phil say anything about my feelings for Dan?

I could hear the guy's voices behind Phil's closed door. Their voices were muffled by the door, making deciphering their word impossible. What are they talking about? Did I want to know what they were talking about? What's taking so long?

Just as I thought that, Phil walked out of his room and came into the lounge. I saw Dan's shadow dart into his room moments later.

"Hey." said Phil sitting down next to me on the sofa.

"Hey. What was that about?" I asked quietly slightly afraid of the answer. Did Phil tell Dan that I like him? Does Dan want me to move out?

"Um… Let's go up to your room and talk." Phil suggested. I nodded.

I felt like I was going to cry but I held back the tears. I had no reason to cry. Right? I stood and led the way up to my room, Phil just a step behind me the whole time. I walked into my room and Phil shut the door behind him.

"I thought you had told him. I panicked and thought I was interrupting something." said Phil explaining his reaction as soon as the door latched.

"Phil, I would have told you if I had planned on telling him. Or if I had I would have at least texted you before you got home. I'm trying to forget about it though, remember?" I said reminding Phil, and myself, about every conversation we've ever had about my feelings for Dan.

"I know but I just didn't know if maybe it had just happened." said Phil going over and sitting on the edge of my bed.

I just stood awkwardly in the middle of my room.

"I-" I started but was cut off by a knock on my door. I stayed silent just staring at the door. It slowly creaked open and Dan stepped into the room.

"Hey I um, I just, uh wanted to come and apologize. I um, I didn't realize what I was uh doing… I'm sorry." said Dan struggling to get the words out.

"I didn't know until Phil came in, it's no big deal. I mean you've held my hand before." I said thinking back to jumping off the dock and suddenly remembering the feel of his hand in mine. I pushed that thought away. Now is not the time.

"Honestly I thought something was going on with you and Phil." said Dan his face going a little red.

I had to hold back a laugh while my face scrunched in disgust.

"No I love Phil, but not that way. It kinda grosses me out a little. He's like a second brother." I said scrunching up my face.

"No offence." I said looking over at Phil who waved my comment off.

He knew what I meant and I knew he felt the same about me.

Dan walked in a little further and stood next to me. There was about two minutes of awkward silence. I felt the need to fill it.

"So I um booked a flight home." I don't know why I chose now to mention it but it just kind of fell out of my mouth. I couldn't stop it.

"When for?" Phil asked.

"I leave in a week." I replied.

"Are you coming back?" asked Dan.

"Do you want me to come back?" I questioned hoping it would be a yes.

"Of course we want you to come back. We wouldn't have asked you to live with us if we were itching to get rid of you. The week we were gone, I swear, Phil said how much he missed you twice a day and sometimes more." said Dan with a laugh.

When I said "you" I meant just Dan. I knew Phil wanted me here, I was just unsure about him.

"Well no wonder you thought we were together." I said to Dan looking at Phil.

Phil's face turned red and he shrugged.

"So are you ever going to give us and answer?" Phil asked, recovering from his embarrassment quickly.

"Answer to what?" I said playing dumb.

Both Dan and Phil scowled at me.

"You know what." Said Phil.

"Yes." I said simply.

"Yes?" said Dan.

I looked at him and nodded.

Dan suddenly wrapped me in a bone crushing hug. I instantly had to fight off the butterflies. In my head I hoped he never let go but what came out of my mouth was the exact opposite of what I was thinking.

"Okay let go. Can't. Breathe. Suffocating." I said dramatically. Dan let go of me.

Phil was next to pull me into a hug. He didn't squeeze as tightly but it still hurt because of Dan's previous hug. I could tell Phil was excited that I was going to be permanent fixture. I'm totally talking about myself like I'm a couch or chandelier or something.

"You do know that you'll end up being in more videos. You're okay with that?" Phil asked pulling away and letting me go. The three of us went over and sat on the bed.

"It's one of the things that I've thought about. Just to be clear I never intend to be making my own videos, but at the same time I think I will eventually warm up to the camera. I don't want to be in any videos anytime soon, nor do I want to end up being in every video. I was hoping we could just ease into me being in videos." I explained to the guys.

"So how do you want to ease into being in videos?" Dan asked. I knew he couldn't wait to do a video with me but he knew it would take time.

"The same way I'm in videos now. Remember the comment about how I could be in some of your videos but you didn't show my face or say my name, to fuck with your fan? We could gradually let the subscribers find out more and more about me."

Dan nodded.

"Remember you asked me if that was something I wanted to do? I gave you a bogus reason to not want to do it purely because I didn't want to be on camera. I can deal with your Phangirls. Plus when I'm finally going to actually be in videos, the first one we could do is a meet my roommate or whatever. Your subscribers could ask me questions or something."

"That's actually a really good idea. We could do an AmaingSamisnotonfire." said Dan going over and sitting on the bed. Phil and I joined him.

"Whose channel would that end up being on?" I asked purely out of curiosity.

"We'll figure it out when we come to it. So are we going to just start putting you in videos on purpose?" Dan asked.

"Not just yet, unless of course I'm caught on camera or accidentally do something while you're filming. Like dropping a book on my head." I said.

Dan and Phil both laughed remembering the racket I made while they were filming.

Dan looked so happy talking about me being in videos. It made my heart swell knowing that the happiness he showed and the smile on his face, were caused by me.

I realized then that I would do anything to make Dan happy, even if it meant sitting in front a camera and millions of people… watching me.

No! Stop right there brain. If you don't shut up right now I'll go into a full on panic attack. Remember the last one, you hurt for a week.

"I still want to see the videos before you post them if you plan on including a clip of me." I added.

"Well yeah." said Phil.

He looked almost as excited as Dan did at the fact that I was now willing to be in videos.

We continued to talk about all of this for the rest of the afternoon. Dan and Phil came up with a few video ideas for when I'm purposely put in videos. Dan said he had a really good idea but Phil and I were going to have to wait to see what it was. Honestly I was terrified talking like this but I really did think that I would eventually warm up to the camera. It would just take some getting used to.

"Oh Shit," said Dan around seven. "I have to get ready for my surprise live show. We'll talk more later." said Dan getting up and walking out of my room, closing the door behind him.

"I'm really glad you decided to stay. I would have missed you…and your pancakes." said Phil wrapping an arm around my shoulder with a grin on his face.

"I think I've changed my mind." I said trying to keep a straight face. "I'm gonna move out. I'm never coming back from the US."

Phil didn't say anything. He pulled back and gave me a worried/are-you-kidding-me look. I smiled innocently but instead it turned into a shit-eating grin, giving me away. We were both laughing in no time. I snorted causing Phil to laugh harder which in turn caused me to laugh harder. More snorting and laughing ensued.

"Okay, I've had my workout for the next week." I said, holding on to my stomach, when Phil and I finally managed to stop laughing.

"So what are the three of us doing this week?" Phil asked. I completely forgot to tell him and Dan about my crazy work schedule for the next week.

"Um, in order to get the week off and get enough money for a ticket to go home, I have to work every day this week except for one. Starting tomorrow. So I should actually be going to bed soon." I said realizing how late it really was considering I had to be up at three in the morning in order to open the store.

"What day do you have off?" asked Phil looking hopeful.

"The day before I leave. That's when I plan on packing and picking up some things I'll need. Plus I promised Lily I would bring back some British candy and a few other things she wanted to try that she can't get at home." I said.

Phil let out a small laugh at the way I talked about Lily. The guys didn't really know much about her, except for that she was my best friend.

"I keep forgetting that your family and friends lives in another country. It's like you were meant to be here. In London I mean… not the house… uh. So Dan and I will take care of the chores for this week. All you'll have to do is your laundry." said Phil managing to get a little bit of awkward into the situation.

"What, you don't want to accidently touch my bra or something? Is that why you won't do my laundry?" I asked putting on a pouty face.

"Yeah, pretty much." Phil replied causing us to laugh again.

"Do you really have to leave?" Phil asked.

His smile had fallen into a slight frown.

"It'll only be for a little while." I said trying to cheer him up a bit. It didn't really work.

"I'm really bummed that we won't get to spend any time with you before you leave. I really wanted to hang out with you when we got back from Vidcon. We didn't even really get to do anything today." said Phil.

He really did look bummed, but I didn't have a choice.

"I might be able to hang out with you after work a couple of nights." I said, hoping I really would be able to. I know I missed the guys when they were gone.

"Yeah I hope so." Said Phil hopefully.

"So didn't you guys say I had to fill out some paper work or something for when I moved in?" I asked remembering the night they asked me to stay.

"Oh don't worry about that now. We'll get it all sorted when you come back from your visit home."

I was thankful that it could wait till then. I don't think I could cram one more thing into my to-do list for before I left.

"Phil," I said causing Phil to look up. "Don't you mean we'll sort it out when I get home?" I said with a smirk bumping my knee into his. The fact that I called the flat home made him beam.

Ever since I made the decision to stay, this place has felt more like home than any other flat I've stayed in. Phil wrapped me in a hug and then got up off my bed and headed to the door.

"Goodnight. Oh, can you tell Dan that I've gone to bed?" I asked Phil causing him to turn and look back at me.

"Yeah, I'll let Dan know. Goodnight."

And with that Phil opened the door and walked out of my room shutting the door behind him.

I quickly got changed for bed. My mind was filled with thoughts of going home. I was excited and nervous. Excited because I got to see Lily, who I missed dearly, and my family. Nervous because it had been a while since I had been there last. It seemed like something had changed every time I went back. I was also kind of nervous because of the last time I was home.

I really wanted to see my brother and my Dad. I haven't talked to them in such a long time. I felt bad that I had only talked to my Dad a couple of times in the last year but I didn't want to call the house.

I was too afraid that my mom would pick up the phone. It's not that I don't want to talk to my mom, it's just I don't want her to talk at me. She still treats me like I'm fifteen and don't know what I doing with my life.

Of course I don't actually know what I'm doing with my life but my mother thinks that college is the only way for me to find out. She doesn't understand that everyone has their own "Journey to find their life meaning" as my dad would put it.

He and my brother found their callings much easier than me. My dad said he always wanted to be a doctor for as long as he could remember. And my brother, he was always good at fixing things and he always was taking things apart to see how they worked. He was the smart one.

Even Lily knew what she wanted to do with her life. She has always loved kids so it was no surprise to anyone when she decided to go to school to be a teacher. I'm the only one that when asked "What do you want to be when you grow up?" only ever answered with an "I don't know".

My family always thought I would end up going to Julliard, but my grades were never really that good and the only instrument I play well is the piano and I'm really not that good. Plus I never liked recitals. I didn't like the attention and the pressure made me mess up. Rock star was just not in the cards for me.

I snapped out of my head and noticed I was standing in the middle of my room looking like an idiot. I really have to get this internal monologue thing under control before I start talking out loud to myself.

I made sure to plug my phone in and set an alarm for early in the morning. I felt like these work days were going to kill me before I even got the chance to go home. Maybe that's not such a bad thing. No if I died, Lily would bring me back just to kill me herself.

I turned off my light and made a run for the bed crawling under the covers and getting comfortable before the monsters got me. Yes I am in my twenties and I still run to the bed so the monsters don't get me. I watched The Messengers. I know what kind of scary things can be hiding under the bed.

When I finally found that comfortable spot, I felt myself slipping into dream land. The last thing I saw in my mind before I fell asleep, was Dan's face. Eyes lit up by the happiness I had caused him and a huge grin on his face. His happiness was beautiful.

 **Thank you for reviewing. when I reach the next goal I'll post two chapters in the same week again but I'm not going to tell you the goal until it's reached. So if you want more remember to review ;)**

 **Special thanks to Guest, Romanow, Danisnotonfire's Twin Sister, vany, and guest. These people are the reason you got an extra chapter this week.**


	12. Chapter 11

**Shout out to Ssgcp, Anonymous, Guest, Romanow, darth jennab (pun appreciated btw), Amazingfire24, and Guest for commenting on the last chapter. Hint: We're almost half way there for the next surprise chapter ;)**

 **now for some questions/requests.**

 **It was requested that I feature more YouTubers. Be paitent.**

 **I was asked if Lily is going to move to London and fall in love with Phil. You'll just have to read and find out.**

 **I really am trying to stay away from all of the things that almost everyone does in a Dan and/or Phil fanfic and I want it to be as realistic as possible.**

 **Chapter 11**

Dan was holding my hand. Just holding it. His hand was warm and it seemed to fit perfectly in mine. I looked up at his face. I'm not sure what he was looking at, but his eyes were transfixed on something in front of us. There was a smile on Dan's face. He looked so happy it made my heart explode with my own happiness. He looked down at me and was about to say something when this annoying sound cut him off.

"Ugh." I groaned sitting up in bed. Stupid dreams. There was no need to tease me with things that will never happen.

I got ready for work like normal, managing to remember about the glass door before I ran into it again. Work was boing and really slow the first day. When I got home, the boys were in their rooms and I had laundry to do. Even though Phil said he and Dan would take care of the chores, I felt bad leaving dishes in the sink.

In my room I dug out my barely used suitcase and opened it up on the floor. I was the kind of person to pack for things a week before they happened and this trip was no different. I got Lily on the phone and asked what the weather was supposed to be like. She told me to pack for summer but bring a sweatshirt. You know, Maine weather and all.

The rest of the days counting down to my flight were the same. Go to work, come home, do laundry, pack a little. Then sleep and do it all over again. By the last day I was almost completely packed.

I was to fly out tomorrow morning and I still needed to pack a couple of things Lily had requested. I made a trip to the store and picked up some candy, makeup, and a few other bits of britishness to bring home to her.

After adding my purchases to my case, I was all packed with room to spare for shopping while at home. I had even set out my clothes for the next day and packed my carry on with my laptop, charger and extra phone charger. I packed my camera also, along with a notepad and a few pens. I was hoping to get a couple blog posts drafted while on the plane.

It was around noon when I sat my suitcase by the front door. I went back to my room and grabbed my carry on and my purse. I double checked that my passport and ID were in my wallet, along with money and my ticket. After making sure I had everything, I put my carry on and purse with my suitcase by the door.

I needed a shower badly and I wasn't going to have time to take one before I left in the morning. I decided now would be a good time. I grabbed my clothes and went and got in the shower. I was almost done when I looked at the wall and saw a spider about the size of a quarter.

Now I'm not normally afraid of spiders. They don't really bother me when they are in the corner of the room minding their own business, but in the shower that's a whole other story. The shower is a closed space with tight quarters and you are completely naked and vulnerable. When a spider decides to join you it is just too close for comfort. Plus this one was blocking off my only exit. I let out a blood cuddling scream.

I backed as far away from the spider as I possibly could. I was shaking and the spider was blocking me from reaching for something to kill it. I couldn't take chance to jump out past it or grab a bottle to squish it. I just cowered in the corner as far from it as I could get. Just then the bathroom door burst open. It was Dan.

"Oh god," said Dan covering his eyes. "You're naked…I heard a scream. I'll go get Phil." said Dan awkwardly turning around. Then Phil burst thought the door. He covered his eyes when he saw me too.

"What's going on?" Phil asked.

"There's a spider. Kill it. Kill it." I said hysterically attempting to cover myself. I felt the tears rolling down my face.

"But you're naked…" said Phil.

"I don't care just KILL IT!" I yelled.

Dan booked it out of the bathroom as soon as Phil moved out of the way. Phil dropped his hand but made a visible effort not to look at me. Phil made his way over to the shower, opened the door and killed the spider. Once it was dead he turned and walked very quickly out the door without saying a word shutting the door behind him.

I slowly sank down and sat on the floor of the shower. Both of my roommates just saw me naked. Dan saw me naked. The guy I have an undeniable crush on, just saw me naked. When the realization of this hit me, I felt sudden embarrassment.

"Kill me now." I said aloud to myself.

How was I ever going to show my face to them again?

I sat on the floor of the shower until the water ran cold forcing me to get out and get dressed. I was dreading having to leave the bathroom but at the same time my stomach was eating itself in hunger. I knew I was going to have to face Dan and Phil sooner or later. I was just hoping it would be later.

I opened the bathroom door and quietly started to walk up the stairs. Was I really that hungry? Did I really need to go get food? Just as I thought that my stomach growled quite ferociously. Damn it. I snuck my way toward the kitchen. Both of the guys were in the lounge, looking at the TV. I darted into the kitchen.

I opened up the fridge trying to be quiet but I forgot about the talking pig thing. I literally wanted to face palm myself. It wasn't long before Phil walked in. Well this was a little awkward. I grabbed some blueberries and closed the fridge.

"I uh, didn't know you were afraid of spiders." said Phil.

I could tell he was only holding back his laugh because of the pure awkwardness of the situation. My face turned red at the mention of it.

"Only in the shower." I mumbled but Phil still heard me.

"I didn't see anything. I promise." said Phil.

I could feel my face grow even hotter. I probably looked like a tomato.

"Phil…You saw enough." I said then switched to a whisper.

"What really makes this situation worse is that Dan came in. Dan saw me naked."

Just saying it made me sick to my stomach in embarrassment.

"Well at least you look good naked." said Phil very awkwardly then face palmed.

My mouth dropped open in disbelief.

"Kill me." I said opening the fridge and sticking my head in and then closing and opening the fridge repeatedly. Every time it opened the pig would talk. I heard Dan's obnoxious laugh from the lounge. Oh God, kill me, kill me, kill me, ugh.

"I'm sorry, that's not what I, sorry." said Phil going across into the lounge.

"Dan, not a word." I heard Phil say in the other room.

I removed my head and closed the fridge for a final time.

Okay, deep breaths, I thought to myself leaning over the sink in case of any projectile vomiting that could still possibly occur. You knew it was only a matter of time before one of them saw you naked. You just weren't expecting it to be both of them and so soon. Plus they both covered their eyes when they found out you were naked so it could have been worse. Plus Phil killed the spider so that's an upside to this situation.

After calming myself down enough so I didn't think I was going to hydro pump, I decided to just get it over with and join the boys in the lounge. I grabbed my blueberries and walked across the hall. Once in the lounge, I sat between Dan and Phil on the couch in awkward silence until it was broken by Dan.

"So Phil, are you sure you don't like Sam? I mean if you think she looks good naked." said Dan with a smirk.

Phil looked almost mad enough to swear, almost. I punched Dan's leg, maybe a little harder that I intended to.

"Owww…" said Dan rubbing the spot I had hit.

This plunged us into another awkward silence. We sat like this for three minutes. Yes, I counted… I needed to break this silence.

"Well at least you know I'm not a crossdresser now." I literally wanted to facepalm myself.

Dan and Phil looked at each other and then back at me before the three of us all busted out in laughter.

The laughter broke the awkward tension in the room and we were able to just relax. It felt so good to relax after my terribly crazy week of being constantly busy. All week I missed the guys and I hadn't even left for America yet.

I sat with the guys for about a half hour when I noticed what time it was. I still had a couple of things to do before going to bed. I didn't know if I would get the chance to see the guys again before I left so now was my only chance for a goodbye. I stood from the couch.

"So I'm headed up to my room. I just wanted to say goodbye to you guys while I still had the chance." I said looking between the guys.

"What day are you coming back?" Dan asked. I hadn't told them yet but I only got a one way ticket.

"Um I don't know. A week from now, maybe two. I got a one way so that I could come back whenever I wanted to. I just have to book it." I said.

"So you don't have a flight home booked?" asked Phil.

I just shook my head.

"So you're just going to show up?" Dan questioned.

"No I'll call you guys before I book the flight. My brother's girlfriend broke up with him the day before he planned to propose to her. I don't know how long it'll take for me to help my friend Lily take care of him. Apparently Lily is still doing his laundry. Plus I need time with Lily. You don't know what it's like to live in a house full of testosterone and boy things. That and I don't have to worry about Lily seeing me naked, it's nothing she hasn't already seen." I added with a smirk.

"I'm gonna miss you. I kind of already do. It's like I haven't really seen you since before we left for Vidcon." said Phil standing and pulling me into a hug.

"I know. I feel the exact same. I'm going to miss you guys so much." I said hugging him back tightly.

Phil let me go and sat back on the sofa. Dan just smiled and waved at me. I was disappointed that I did get a hug but I just smiled and waved back. With that I just left the room.

Once up in my room, I grabbed my phone and called Lily. It rang twice before she picked up.

"Okay I'm all packed and ready. Go through the check list one more time with me so I didn't forget anything." I said before she could even get out a hello.

"Okay… underwear?" she asked.

"Check." I replied.

"Shorts?" she asked again.

"Check." I said. Our conversation went like this until we had run through our entire checklist.

"Okay so what are you wearing so that I know what to look for?" Lily asked once we were thought with the check list.

"Um I was thinking black leggings and a white tank top and my all black converse. I'll have my leather jacket also. You remember what that looks like right?" I said telling her what I had planned on.

"Of course I remember the jacket. You'll be lucky if I don't steal it while you're here." She said with a laugh.

"Maybe I won't bring it then." I said sarcastically causing Lily to laugh even more.

"No, you go everywhere with that thing. I'll never be able to pry it from you long enough to steal it."

I chatted with Lily a little bit more and we planned out where we were meeting and what time. My flight left at 6 am so I had to be at the airport by 4:30 so I could check in and go through security and all that bull. It was a ten hour flight so I would be landing in the US at 4 pm UK time and 11 am US. Guess who is gonna nap on the plane. This girl.

I was going to be meeting Lily at the nearest Starbucks. If I didn't sleep on the plane I was going to need to be highly caffeinated. Don't get me wrong, I love my best friend, but Lily and I don't get along very well if I'm sleep deprived AND under caffeinated.

The only thing I hadn't packed away yet was my phone and headphones. I got up off the floor and plugged my phone in leaving it by my bed. I opened up my Spotify app and connected my headphones. Once back in my previous position of laying on my back on my floor, I put on my headphones on and started my Radiohead playlist.

Dan had showed me them and I promised that I would give them a listen. Dan and I had a lot of similar musical interests. We liked the same bands. He even attempted to teach me what he knew on the piano. I never told him that I could actually play, it was more fun having him teach me. Maybe I'll tell him one day.

As if thinking about him had summoned him, Dan peaked his head in my door. I paused the song and pulled my headphones off.

"I thought you had things to do before you left. Is one of them really sleeping on the floor?" Dan asked with a smirk, sitting down next to me.

"No. I just got off the phone with Lily. We were just planning everything for tomorrow. I am so not looking forward to a ten hour flight." I said looking up at Dan.

"So what are you doing now?" Dan asked.

I had a feeling that he wanted to ask me something, but I had no clue what it would be.

"Just relaxing before I go to bed. Tomorrow is going to be crazy, but I'm excited." I said.

"Do you mind if I hang out with you, like old times?" Dan asked.

"By old times do you mean listening to music together and falling asleep on the floor then waking up with a terrible back kink and hating ourselves for the rest of the day?" I asked remembering all if the times we had done that. Believe me, there have been many.

"Well yeah. Only we could just hang out on the bed. It'll be more comfortable for you and there really isn't enough room for both of us on the floor anymore." said Dan referring to my monstrous bed that took up most of the room.

When I said my rug just fit in the empty space, I wasn't kidding.

I thought about it for a minute. This was the last chance I would get to see Dan for a week or two. Did I really want to pass it up? It would be like old times. I realized I would give anything to be like that with Dan again.

"Sounds good to me." I said without giving myself time to think myself out of it. Dan helped me stand and we made our way to my bed. He grabbed my extra pair of headphones and connected them to my phone.

We both laid comfortably on the bed. Dan wasn't hanging off the bed and I wasn't pressed up against the wall. The only parts of us that were touching were our elbows.

Dan pushed play and I could feel myself getting lost to the music. It was like having Dan here made the music sound better and the tension in my shoulder disappear quicker. Not once did I think about Dan in any other way than him being my best friend. In this moment it was like he was just Dan and I was just Sam again. It truly did feel like old times.

 **Was it just me or did anyone else picture Sam slamming her head in the refrigerator as a scene from am anime? No? Just me? okay...**

 **Also this chapter is my shortest on so I may post another on like Sunday. I probably will. I don't know.**


	13. Chapter 12

**Surprise! I said I might post today in my last chapter. I almost didn't because some really good stuff happens in this one but I thought eff it (also it's kind of another short one.**

 **Enjoy!**

 **Chapter 12**

I woke up to being too hot but I was too tired to move. It took me a moment to remember that Dan and I had hung out last night. That's when I realized I was so hot because Dan had his arms wrapped around me. There were instant butterflies. Well I guess the moment of just friends is gone now.

I didn't dare to move because I was afraid I would wake Dan.

I looked up at the window to see if I could figure out what time it was by the color of the sky and of course I couldn't. I figured I had woken up just before my alarm. I just closed my eyes and enjoyed the feeling of Dan's arms and attempting to ignore how hot I was.

Just as I was about to fall back asleep, Dan started to move. He squeezed me tighter and then rolled on to his stomach with one arm still on top of me. Now I really couldn't move.

I was going to have to wake him up. I really didn't want to. I reached the hand that wasn't trapped under Dan and rubbed his shoulder.

"Dan… Dan wake up." He moaned and moved back into the position he was in before. I didn't know if I preferred this or would rather he not be touching me at all. I didn't want him to stop hugging me but when it did come time for me to get up I wouldn't be able to move.

"Dan, please wake up." I said rubbing his forearm that was laying on my chest.

"Dan." I said a little louder. His breathing changed telling me he was waking up.

"Hey." said Dan quietly.

"Hey, you're kind of squishing me." I said with a slight smile.

"Yeah well I'm comfy and I don't wanna move, so deal with it." said Dan tightening his arms and loosening them again.

His words were muffled by the pillow and his voice was thick with sleep.

"So what are you going to do when I have to get up?" I asked.

"You're not leaving. I'm comfy and you can't leave." Dan mumbled. I could tell he was falling back to sleep.

"Dan you can't keep me here." I said with a laugh.

"Watch me." said Dan tightening his arms around me.

I couldn't help but laugh to myself. Before I could start to struggle my phone started to go off.

"Dan, you really do have to let go of me." I said with a sad smile.

"Damn it." said Dan letting me go and turning off my alarm for me.

"Well I guess I have to get up." I said escaping from Dan's arms.

I walked to the other side of the room. Dan covered his face with his arm when I turned on the light.

"Sorry, but I gotta see." I said.

I felt bad for blinding him but I really did need to see.

I started to get changed out of my shorts and t-shirt and into my leggings and tank top.

"What are you doing?" Dan asked sitting up on the bed.

"Getting dressed." I replied.

"Why didn't you tell me? I would have left."

"It's not like it really matters. You've already seen me naked." I said shrugging my shoulders. "Plus it's not like you haven't seen me in bra and underwear before."

"A bikini isn't quite the same thing but you have a point." said Dan laying back down.

When I was finished getting dressed I called for an Uber to take me to the airport. I sat on the edge of the bed waiting for a message saying it was here.

"Are you excited to see your family and Lily?" Dan asked bumping his hand against my arm.

"Yeah, but I'm going to miss you and Phil." I said nudging his arm with my elbow.

"We'll Skype or something. We'll have more time to do that than we did when Phil and I went to Vidcon." said Dan.

"Yeah but I have lots of plans with Lily and my brother. My parents don't even know I'll be coming home yet so I'll probably end up having plans with them too, but we'll figure something out." I said just as my phone vibrated telling me the Uber was here.

"I'll see you soon." I said leaning over to give Dan a hug. "You can stay here and sleep if you want."

"Nah, I'll walk you to the door." said Dan getting off the bed.

I grabbed my phone and headphones and went down stairs with Dan.

Once at the door I put on my jacket. Before I grabbed my bags, Dan pulled me into another hug.

"Text me when you arrive at the airport, when you board, and call me when you land." said Dan while hugging me.

"Dan, you're acting like I'm never coming back. Two weeks tops." I said reassuringly.

"Two weeks." Dan repeated letting me go.

I put my carry on over my shoulder and grabbed my bag. Dan opened the door for me.

"Two weeks." I said before going out the door and down the first flight of stairs. Just before I turned to go down the next flight, I looked back at Dan. He was still standing in the door. I turned and walked the rest of the way out to the Uber.

"London Heathrow?" asked the driver.

I nodded. He grabbed my suitcase and put it in the trunk of the car and opened the door for me.

Once the door was closed, I looked up at the flat I had just left. I felt like I was leaving them behind. I wanted to take them with me, but Lily probably wouldn't appreciate having three people stay with her in her tiny apartment.

I kept my eyes on the flat until the driver turned the corner and the flat was no longer in view. Instead of being sad at leaving my friends, I thought about all the fun I was going to have with Lily and my brother.

Lily and I had planned a beach day and a shopping day. I was probably going to have a diner with my parents and Ian. My brother and I had planned to go to the movies and out for ice cream like we used to before I moved to London.

My excitement wiped away my sadness of leaving. London really did feel like home more that Home did. If only Lily would just move to London. I was so stuck in my head that I didn't realize we had arrived at the airport until the driver said something.

I got my things and paid the driver. Just as I made it under the cover of the building, it started to down pour. The forecast did call for rain, but it said it wouldn't be bad enough to delay flights.

I went through security and did all of those other things that I needed to do and then went and found a place to sit. Once I was sitting I remembered that Dan wanted me to tell him when I got here. I figured he would still be sleeping but I got a reply almost instantly.

 _Okay let me know when you're boarding._

I typed back a quick okay. I almost added an "I love you" but caught myself before I did. That would have been embarrassing.

I thought back to this morning. Dan and I have had many "hang out all night and fall asleep next to each other" but he's never really cuddled with me like that. Granted most of the time we are sleeping on the floor. I attributed his actions to the fact that we weren't on the floor this time.

I thought back the one time he did kind of cuddle me.

It was a few months before I moved in and Dan was particularly stressed about one of his many secret projects.

"I know the perfect thing that will get your mind off of all the things you're trying to do at once." I said to Dan who was sitting at my table nursing a cup of coffee.

"I don't need to get my mind off them, I need to work on them. That's my problem." He said giving me a look like work was the last thing he wanted to do.

"You may come across an idea faster when you're not trying to come up with an idea." I replied.

Dan just gave me a "yeah right" look.

"Come on." I said grabbing Dan by the hand and dragging him into the living room.

Once he was sitting on the floor, I handed him a pair of headphones. He knew what I was going to do and thankfully he didn't stop me. I turned off the lights and turned on Spotify on my phone.

We both laid on the floor, in that dark, with headphones on, listening to very loud music. Eventually we both ended up falling asleep.

The next morning I woke up to a kink in my back and an exploding bladder but I tried to ignore the pain and go back to sleep. Until I realized I was using Dan's arm as a pillow.

I opened my eyes to check and see if Dan was still asleep. Thankfully he still had his eyes closed and his breathing was slow.

I got up and went to the bathroom before Dan could wake up and see me using him as a pillow. I didn't want to creep him out or anything.

I went and made coffee and then woke Dan up. He didn't mention anything about it so I figured I was safe.

Last night was different. It was a nice change from the normal with him. It felt like before I developed my crush on Dan and before his channel blew up. The only difference was that I fell asleep almost instantly, but I was tired.

Yesterday really was my only day to relax and I still didn't even do that. I packed and got attacked by a spider and my roommates saw me naked. Okay maybe I don't want to think about all of yesterday.

The longer I sat there the farther and farther back I started to think about. Suddenly I was thinking about the first day that Dan and I met. I suddenly snapped out of my day dreams by my stomach growling. I need food. I looked around and found a Starbucks. Coffee is just what I needed.

I got my Starbucks and made my way to where my flight would be boarding. Sitting on the floor I dug into my sandwich. It wasn't my favorite but I was so hungry I just didn't care. It took only a few minutes to scarf it down.

I sat nursing my coffee when I heard my flight was boarding. I stood grabbing my bag and made my way over to the boarding area. When I was waiting in line I saw a girl with a Dan and Phil shirt on. It made me smile to think about them, not that I ever really stop.

It didn't take too long to board and it turned out the girl with the Dan and Phil shirt was seated next to me. I remembered that I needed to send a quick text to Dan to let him know I was boarding. Just after I sent the text, my phone started to vibrate in my hand signaling that I had a call.

"Hello?" I said.

"Hey." It was Dan.

"Why are you calling me, you're supposed to be asleep." I said into the phone.

"I can't sleep. You woke me up and now I can't go back to sleep. You go to sleep. You obviously need it." said Dan through the phone.

"We haven't even taken off yet and why do you think I need sleep?" I said.

"Because of the text you just sent." He said.

I was getting slightly annoyed.

"All I said was that I was boarding." I replied.

"Check you messages." said Dan with what sounded to be a smirk in his smile.

I pulled my phone away from my face and opened up the messages. I went to the one I sent Dan and… Oh no! "Hey just boarding the plane now. Love you." I felt like I was going to vomit.

"Jesus Christ!" I exclaimed quietly but Dan still heard it and I could hear him laughing on the other end of the phone.

"Go to sleep."

"I can't, plus Phil is awake now too." He said. Even through his laughter he sounded sleepy.

"Well tell him to go back to sleep too then." I said. Out of the corner of my eye I noticed the girl looking at me.

"We have merch stuff to work on." said Dan.

"Go to sleep, you can work on that later, like nine am." I said.

"Nope can't- PHIL WHY ARE YOU EATING MY CEREAL!" Dan yelled so loudly that I had to hold the phone away from my ear and I could still hear it. Shit.

"I have to go. Bye." I said.

Just before I hung up I heard Dan say have a safe flight. I didn't hear anymore because that was when the call disconnected.

I looked over and the girl next to me was openly staring at me.

"Hi." I said to her.

"Hi." she said back to me slowly.

"I see you like Dan and Phil… me too." I said pointing out her shirt. She just looked at me wide eyed.

"So… what's your favorite video?" the silence from her was starting to be awkward.

"What not to do in a public bathroom." She said quietly.

"Ahh that one." I said with a nod. She knew. She knew I was the roommate. Shit. Shit. Shit.

"Do you need to pee?" She asked.

I closed my eyes. Okay fuck it, she already knew.

"It's not I need to pee, it was I want to pee." I said with a smirk. She burst out laughing.

"I thought you sounded familiar." said the girl when her laughter had subsided.

"Yeah, maybe I should just stay away from anyone wearing Dan and Phil merch. You know you can't tell anyone right? Not even your best friend or you dog, if you have either." I said.

"I totally promise but can I get a selfie with you. I won't post it unless you tell me its okay… or if you're ever in videos." She said.

I asked for her usernames and stuff and she gave them to me. I would be checking just in case.

"What makes you think I'll be in more videos?" I asked.

"Oh just something Dan said in his last live show. Something about ideas for if you were ever to be in a video." She told me. I was going to have to talk to Dan about that one, but it would have to wait for until I landed.

I took a selfie with her and then we had to turn our phones off. For the first couple of hours I talked to her a bit. I found out that her name is Violet and she was visiting her older brother who went to uni. She was from Maine just like I was and she was going to be a junior in high school this upcoming year.

She and I really hit it off. She told me about how she started a YouTube channel because of Dan. Thank god the plane had Wi-Fi so that she could show me some of her videos. They were a lot like my blogs. Makeup and clothes and other random videos. I subscribed to her. I also followed her on Twitter and Instagram. She in turn followed me back.

I even told her about my blog. She seemed really interested. She asked me what it was called and when she thought I wasn't looking, she looked it up. I'm pretty sure she subscribed to it. I managed to draft a post before Violet asked me if I wanted to watch a movie with her.

Not long into the movie she and I were watching, I started getting really tired. I told her to finish the movie by herself because hopefully I would sleep the rest of the flight. I slowly drifted off to sleep. The last thing I saw before I went to sleep, was the mini Dan on Violet's shirt.

 **Shout outs to Romanow, vany, and Ssgcp for the reviews. Seriously, reviews make me want to post/write more often. Special thanks to Romanow who had posted the most reviews (I like you the most but don't tell the others ;) ).**

 **Well I guess I better get to writing more.**


	14. Chapter 13

**You get to meet one of my favorite character in the whole story (besides Sam), Lily.**

 **Thanks to Danisnotonfire's Twin Sister, Ssgcp, Amazingfire24, Purpledragon93, and Romanow for leaving reviews. Half way to the next goal. When we get to fifty reviews I'm going to post two chapters in one week again. Be sure to subscribe just in case I decide to post a random chapter *winkwink*.**

 **Enjoy!**

 **Chapter 13**

"Lily!" I exclaimed as I ran toward my best friend. She wrapped me in a tight hug. I could smell her vanilla deodorant. It was the same that she used all though high school. Now every time I smell vanilla I think of her.

I stepped away so I could get a good look at her. She was still a 5'9, tanned goddess. Her dirty-blond hair was tied back in a messy ponytail. She had on very little makeup and just a plain fitted t-shirt and shorts. Even like this she was absolutely gorgeous.

"Sammie, I missed you so much. I see London is treating you well." said Lily pulling me into another hug. "I'm so happy you're here."

I'm glad to be here. I have so much to tell you that I didn't want to say on the phone, but first, you have to tell me what's going on with Ian." I said as she pulled out of the hug. She grabbed my suitcase and led me out to her car. We still had an almost two hour ride ahead of us. Once in the car she started to tell me all about what happened.

"So I was helping Ian plan the proposal and she just showed up and told him that she didn't love him and that she found someone better." said Lily after telling me about the story of picking out the ring.

"You've got to be kidding me, she said that? What a bitch." I said shaking my head.

"I know. Your brother just sat there completely shell shocked. It was like he couldn't speak. She didn't even wait for a response, she just turned and left. It took him an hour to finally thaw out. The first thing he said was "tell me I just had a terrible nightmare". I didn't know what to say to him. I just hugged him." She explained.

"And how is he now?" I said choosing to not tease Lily about hugging him.

"Well I finally got him to shave. Although he looks pretty good with facial hair. Now I'm trying to teach him how to do laundry. Alexa was doing it for him. He seems better but don't mention her around him because he gets this sad look in his eyes that makes my heart break." It was almost like Lily was going to cry just thinking about it.

"You're a better sister to him than I ever imagined to be." I said forgetting to use my filter and just speaking my mind. I really did think she was a better sister to him than I could ever be, but I truly think that it's just because she loved him, she just doesn't know it yet.

"That's not true. I know that if you were still here, you would be doing the same thing that I'm doing now, and probably doing a better than I'm doing." said Lily in her serious voice.

She always was the rational one.

"Yeah but you love him more than I do and truthfully, I wouldn't rather have anyone but you to help him through this." I said attempting to complement her but she took it the wrong way.

"I don't love your brother." She said getting defensive.

"That's seriously the only thing you got out of that statement." I said a little ticked.

I had basically just given her my blessing to be with my brother and she didn't even notice anything past the word love.

"I don't love him though. Yeah he's attractive, and kind, and chivalrous, and good-hearted… I don't love your brother." She said pointing her finger at me.

The urge to bite it came over me but restrained myself know she could easily kick my ass if need be. I could tell that Lily didn't really believe her exclamation of not loving my brother.

"Okay, okay, you don't love my brother… yet." I added before I could stop myself.

"I will seriously pull this car over and kick your ass if you say one more thing about me loving your brother." said Lily with a death grip on the steering wheel.

"You better pull over then, because I would rather you love him than anything else." I said with a sweet and innocent smile.

"I do not love your brother." said Lily through clenched teeth.

I had already managed to piss her off and I had only been in the country for an hour. This trip had already been a success. These next two weeks are going to be fun. She didn't pull over so I guessed I was safe… for now. We were plunged into silence for a couple minutes.

"So, have you told Dan you love him yet?" Lily asked.

She held on to a straight face but I could see the evil in her eyes. My face grew red.

"Dan who?" I said with a blank face.

"Don't play dumb with me. You know that doesn't work. So Dan?" The thought of strangling her crossed my mind, but only for a second.

"I will never tell Dan about my feelings." I said giving her the same answer I've given every time she asks.

"No, don't give me that bullshit answer. When are you going to tell him?" Lily wasn't going to just let it go. I guess this is my payback.

"I'm not going to chance losing him. I'd rather have him in my life and suffer the heartbreak than tell him and have him hate me. Either way I suffer." I said looking out my window.

"Okay, I don't even know Dan and I know that he would never ditch you if you told him you had feelings for him. I've seen a lot of his videos and he just doesn't seem like the kind of guy to do that." She said glancing over at me.

"Why does it have to be one extreme or the other? What happens if he likes you but you never say anything?" said Lily.

"He doesn't like me like that." I said.

"How do you know if you don't tell him how you feel?" Lily asked.

"Now you sound like Phil." I said crossing my arms. "I don't want to have these feelings for Dan. He's my best friend back home."

Lily looked sad that I called London home. She was still hoping I was coming back. It broke my heart to know my best friend would never live in the same country as me.

"Okay I'll drop it, for now, but you're going to talk to me about it later. Or I'm going to tell your brother you live with two boys." said Lily with a smirk.

"No, you promised you wouldn't tell him. He would fly to London and drag me out by my hair if he knew I lived with Dan and Phil." I said noticing just how whiny my voice could be. Another reason to never be on camera. No, don't think like that.

"And I won't tell him as long as you promise me you'll talk to me about Dan." said Lily evil grin plastered on her face.

"Okay, I promise I'll tell you all about my feeling for Dan, when you finally admit that you don't just have a crush on my brother." I said with an evil grin to match hers. Her smile faltered.

She just let out a sigh then changed the subject to her family drama. She and I got quite a kick out of her quirky parents. Drama for them is fighting over who gets to slide down the banister first or who get to pick the first song to dance around the house too.

Our parents were so different. Mine were strict and old fashion while hers acted like teenager half the time. Which is probably why Lily acts kind of like a parent. My parents don't really like Lily's parents but they love Lily. I sometimes get calls from Lily's mom. She seems to think that all I do in London is wear trendy clothes and hang out in coffee shops all the time. Well she's half right.

I eventually started to nod off when Lily stopped talking and turned on the radio. I had to really fight to stay awake but eventually my exhaustion took over. Well guess who's not going to be sleeping tonight. Lily woke me up every fifteen minutes but I just couldn't stay awake.

"Okay seriously, wake up. Were like ten minutes away. I cannot carry you up those stairs." said Lily waking me up one final time.

I just flipped Lily off.

I was finally able to stay awake. I watched as all of the familiar buildings and houses passed by. I remember dreaming with Lily about someday moving into the big yellow house on the hill that had the tower.

When I was younger, I always thought I would get married right out of high school and start having babies. Even though I dreamed of far off places, I never imagined I would ever actually get out. I jumped at the chance to study abroad. I thought it was my last chance before I settled down with my boyfriend at the time.

Little did I know then, the decision to leave would eventually cause him to break up with me. Lily cried because she wouldn't see me for a whole year. Little did she know I would stay for three more years and I would eventually have no plans on coming back to stay. My parents thought it would be a good opportunity and would open doors for me. They were pissed when I told them I was dropping out of college and had planned to continue to live in London.

On the upside, if I hadn't been texting Lily talking to her about not coming back, I would have never knocked Dan over. Sometimes I wonder if I should have done what my parents had want me to do and come home. I never would have met Dan and Phil. I never would have fallen in love.

"Okay we're here." said Lily pulling me from my daydreaming. I looked up to an apartment building I remember riding past many times.

"You finally moved out from above the jewelry store? Please tell me this place is better." I said remembering the one room apartment that you could barely fit a twin bed in.

You barely had room enough to walk around the bed, and don't even get me started on the closet of a bathroom.

"It's amazing. I have room for a couch. It's not very comfortable, but at least I have one." said Lily getting my suitcase out of the trunk and leading me up to the apartment.

She lived on the third floor and the building didn't have an elevator. I thought I was going to get a break from stairs when I left London. Damn it, I miss Dan and Phil already.

"Lily, please tell me you've upgraded your bed." I said giving her a look. The last time I stayed with her, the two of us shared her twin bed. Lily is a major bed hog. Let's just say I ended up on the floor… more than once.

"Yeah. I have a full now." said Lily proudly.

I had a feeling that I was still going to end up on the floor.

"And the bathroom?" I asked.

"It's not enormous but you can't wash your hair in the shower while sitting on the toilet like the old apartment." said Lily repeating what I had said the last time I stayed with her.

I could feel a smile spread across my face while Lily unlocked her apartment.

It really wasn't that big but it was perfect for one person and it was definitely and upgrade from the last one. The living room and kitchen were all one room with a little bar acting as a divider between the two. It had hardwood floors that looked like they were perfect to slide around on in socks.

I foresee butt bruises in my future.

The bedroom was off to the left. Lily really did get a bigger bed. It looked so comfy but I knew I couldn't lay on it yet.

Her bathroom was bigger and you definitely couldn't wash your hair while on the toilet. I already liked this apartment better than her last one.

We ditched my suitcase in her room. We planned to meet up with my brother but first we were going to surprise my mom at the diner. I went to the bathroom and looked myself over. I looked a little rumpled from all of the traveling but other than that. I looked okay I quickly changed out of my leggings and into some shorts. It was warm here.

"Ready to go Sammie?" I heard Lily yell from the kitchen.

I ran her brush through my hair a couple of times and then put all of my hair up into a messy bun.

"Sorry, I needed to do something with this mess." I said reentering the main room and pointing to my head.

"It wasn't that bad." said Lily grabbing two bottles of water and throwing one at me.

I barely caught it causing Lily to laugh at how uncoordinated I still was. We made our way out of the apartment and back into her car.

"So are you excited to see your mom?" Lily asked.

She knew that my relationship with my mom has been a little strained ever since I dropped out of college. She never got the chance to go and she had her heart set on me getting a degree. She tends to bring up me going back to school in almost every conversation we have.

Last time I was here I yelled at her, but she had applied to a college for me and I just felt like she was over stepping her boundaries a bit. After I yelled I instantly felt bad, but I'm not the type to admit when I'm wrong and I sometimes have a hard time apologizing.

"Yeah. I am actually. I miss her and my dad." I said feeling the nervousness bubble in my chest.

"You know she talks about you all of the time. My Aunt Mary has coffee at the diner every other day and she told me that she barely shuts up about how you're in London." said Lily.

My mom was always one to make things seem better than they really were to the outside world.

The drive to the diner was a short one. We sat in the parking lot for a few minutes. I needed to take a calming breath. Okay, I actually had to start breathing first. I concentrated on my breathing and keeping my hands from shaking when I went to open the door.

"Are you sure we can't just go see Ian and forget about seeing my mom?" I asked just before I pulled the handle to open the door.

Lily just gave me a "really" look.

I opened the door and climbed out before I could talk myself out of it. I looked around. The diner was the same. The trees were the same. The pavement still had the faded yellow lines marking off the parking spaces. The actual pavement itself looked like it had gone through a tough winter. There were more cracks than I remember, but with every winter it gets worse and worse.

Lily grabbed ahold of my elbow tugging me toward the door. Just breathe. Just breathe. Just breathe. I chanted in my head as the door came closer and closer into view. My hands grew steadily shakier the closer we got to the door, and then we were there. I watched Lily's hand reach out, as if in slow motion, and open the door. We stepped in.

The first thing that hits you when you walk in is the smell of the food cooking. The next is the wave of sound. The diner was almost always busy but had a laid back atmosphere. This was the type of town that everybody knows everybody on a first name basis. Close nit and friendly.

Not many people seemed to take notice of the door opening and closing.

Lily and I slowly walked up to the counter. My mother had her back turned to me. It looked like she was stocking from after the lunch rush.

"Hey Mrs. Daven." Lily said before I even had a chance to sit on the stool in front of me. My mom turned to look at Lily but her eyes landed on me first.

"Hi mom." I said.

It was like as soon as I spoke the whole diner went quiet. They were all looking at me. I hate the spotlight.

My mom was around and out from behind the counter in seconds. Then she was pulling me into a hug. Even though she and I weren't on the best of terms, I still missed my mommy.

"Samantha, I'm so glad to see you." My mom said while still hugging me.

"I'm glad to be back." I said.

She stepped back from the hug to look me over. Everyone had gone back to their food seeing as there wasn't going to be any drama from us.

"Your hair is so much longer. You need a haircut." The second thing she said to me, figures.

"I know. I planned on getting one while I was here." I said.

That seemed to appease my mom but now I had to go get a haircut.

We talked for about twenty minutes. Not once did she mention college or me moving back. She also acted as if she approved of the fact that I was living in London when I knew she hated it. She was putting on a show for the townspeople.

"Well Mrs. Daven, we have plans to meet with Ian in a few so we have to get going. Sam-antha just wanted to stop by and say hi." said Lily. "You ready?"

"Yeah. I'll see you later mom." I said thankful that Lily had saved me.

When we got out of the diner Lily and I burst out in laughter. We were laughing so hard that someone almost hit us when we were walking across the parking lot causing us to laugh even harder.

"Lily, you almost got both of us killed." I said not referring to the car.

"Oh my god, I know. I'm so used to calling you Sammie that I almost slipped up." said Lily resting her head on the steering wheel.

My mom is really strict when it comes to calling me by my name. She insists that people call me by my full name. Everyone calls me Sam behind her back thought. Lily and Ian are the only ones allowed to call me Sammie.

"Oh, my abs hurt. Now we can have ice cream sundaes for supper." said Lily looking over at me with her head still on the steering wheel.

"Okay you goof, let's go before Ian thinks we've been kidnapped." I said not being able to hold in my giggles at the way the steering wheel was making half her face look like a hamster with a mouthful of food.

"You're right, he will think we've been kidnapped." Lily said putting the key in the ignition.

Now on to see the person I really wanted to see. Ian.

 **Thank you for reading. If you like Twilight you should really go read Fate Be Damned by Purpledragon93. She is my real life Lily. Plus I'm kind of addicted to her writing. Yes it is Twilight but she ditched Bella and added someone a hundred times better. If you do go and read her story, comment "Hi Lily" so she knows I sent you.**

 **You don't have to read it if you don't want to but I thought I would suggest something to read between my updates. She posts weekly as well. Thursdays actually... .**


	15. Chapter 14

**So I've been thinking. I've been writing a lot recently and if I keep going the way I am I'll have a lot of chapters stocked up. What do you guys think about me posting two chapters a week for the month of October, just to test it out.**

 **I would still post an extra chapter for the week we hit the next review goal so if we hit it when I'm posting twice, that would mean three chapters in one week.**

 **Even if I post two chapters a week for the month, the Halloween chapter won't be posted by Halloween seeing as I haven't even written it yet so I was thinking about doing a one shot of Dan or Phil that is Halloween themed. Let me know what you want to see.**

 **Also I'm taking requests for one shots. I won't do smut because I just feel weird about that but yeah. PM me if you have a request.**

 **Thank you to Romanow, Ssgcp, and Qua for the reviews.**

 **Enjoy and make sure to read the A/N at the end.**

 **Chapter 14**

Soon we were driving down the main road though town. All of the memories came flooding back. We were supposed to be meeting Ian at our favorite ice cream place, but I was more interested in getting the fries they made there. They were the best. Lily and I used to go swimming at the lake and then go there and get fries and milkshakes. Lily always got peanut butter milkshakes. Yeah I know she's weird.

Just thinking about the fries were making my stomach growl. At the same time my excitement at seeing Ian was growing and growing the closer we got. By the time we hit the town line I was bouncing in my seat.

"Someone is excited to see their brother." said Lily with a smirk.

"Nah I'm in it for the fries." I joked.

Lily knew I had missed Ian and that I was really itching to see him. Especially after all that's happened with him recently.

"Lies." Lily exclaimed causing us to both laugh.

"Owww, it hurts. Don't make me laugh, it hurts." I said almost wanting to cry from both the pain and the laughter.

"I know remind me not to be funny anymore." Said Lily one hand holding her stomach while the other controlled the car.

It wasn't long before I saw the familiar windmill spinning on top of the hill signaling that we were close. My excitement was overwhelming. I felt Lily's eyes on me every few seconds. She was getting a kick out of my excitement. I couldn't help but smile. As Lily was driving up the hill I unbuckled the seat belt and grabbed to door handle.

"Please don't open the door until I've come to a stop. Your brother will kill me if you break something from jumping out of a moving vehicle." said Lily knowing my excitement can get ahead of me.

"Okay." I said letting go of the handle.

She pulled into the closest spot and I was out of the door before she had even put the car in park. I scanned the crowd for a familiar face. There were many familiar faces, but one more so that the others. I saw him sitting at a picnic table. On the other side of the parking lot. I ran towards him. He saw me coming and stood. Just as I hit him, he picked me up and spun me around.

"You need a haircut." I said when he put me down.

"So do you." Said Ian picking up a few strands of my hair that had fallen out of my bun and giving them a tug. I didn't say anything, I just clung on. Not just because I missed him, but because of everything that had happened with Alexa. It was almost like he knew that so he hung on to me too.

"Aww, you two are so cute." I heard from behind us. I unwrapped one of my arms from around Ian's middle to flip Lily off.

"Nah I'm good for now." said Lily in response.

I wanted to stick my tongue out but that would just result in licking Ian and I'm pretty sure he wouldn't appreciate that.

"You're just jealous because you're not getting in on this hug." said Ian causing me to snort.

He had no clue Lily has had a crush on him forever, making it even funnier. I felt Ian laugh just after that meaning Lily must have flipped him off.

"I'm hungry." I said finally letting go of Ian.

"I already ordered. Fries and a Pepsi for you and I and Fries and a peanut butter milk shake for the weirdo." said Ian with a smirk.

Lily play glared at him.

We sat at the picnic table and talked for a bit. I sat beside Ian and Lily sat across from me. Most of the talking was the two of them firing questions at me. Things like what do I do for fun, how work is going, if I got lost living in such a big city. I was not impressed with the last one.

"I'm surprised you made it home to be completely honest. I figured you'd get lost in the airport and get on the wrong plane or something." Said Ian teasing me about my sense of direction.

"Hey, I'm not that bad." I said.

Both Lily and Ian gave me a look.

"I've gotten better. I promise. Plus Dan and Phil won't let me get lost." I said trying to convince them.

It was not working. When I mention the guys Lily excused herself to go to the bathroom not wanting to be around for the conversation that was sure to come.

"So you're still friends with them?" Ian asked.

He wasn't impressed that my best friends were both guys but that's just the over protective brother in him.

"Of course I am. Phil is like a second older brother."

Ian especially didn't like the fact that Phil is in his late twenties. Ian is 27 and he seems to think that me dating anyone older than that is just wrong. He also won't believe me that Phil doesn't like me like that.

"And the other one?"

He dislike Dan even more. I don't know why but I have a suspicions that he knows I like Dan. I don't know how he would have found out about it thought.

"Dan doesn't like me like that. We have had this conversation a million times and my answers never change and they never will. Dan is my closest friend back home and Phil is almost as protective of me as you are." I said trying to get it through his head. "Plus if it weren't for them, I would be down some side ally in London probably dead. Be thankful I have such amazing friends."

"True, but I still wish you had some friends that are girls." said Ian turning to his phone.

"I do." I said.

I really didn't want this to start to be a fight.

"Who then?" he asked looking at me like I was lying.

"Zoe and Louise. I don't get to see them often but I do talk to them a lot. Then there's Tanya. She and I don't really hang out but we text sometimes. And then there's Niomi. She and I go for runs-what?!" I asked a snorting Ian.

"You running. It's the most hilarious thing I've ever heard. Sorry, continue." Ian said with another snort of laughter.

"Niomi and I go for runs but that's about it. I had coffee with Emily, one of the girls I work with." I said with a glare.

"Okay but you don't actually hang out with them." He said.

"I would if I got to live closer to Zoe, but I work in London so it just makes sense to live with Dan and Phil. Plus the coffee shop is only a block away from the flat so I don't have to get the underground to get to work. It saves money and I don't get lost trying to decipher the underground maps." I said.

Only when I had finished my almost rant, did I realize I had just told him that I lived with the guys. And I was worried about Lily letting it slip. I really hoped he didn't notice.

"Wait, what? Did you just say you LIVE with them?" Fuck.

"Uh, yeah, my um, uh lease ran out and the landlord already had someone lined up so I couldn't stay and the guys said I could stay with them until I found a place and I haven't found one and the guys asked me to stay so I said yes so now I live with them." This is when I inhaled.

"Okay, stop and breathe for a second. You basically got kicked out of your apartment?" I nodded in reply to Ian's question.

"So they offered you a place to stay until you could find a place?" I nodded again trying my hardest to continue breathing.

"But then they asked you to stay?" He asked.

I couldn't hold in my words any longer.

"Yes and I know you don't like them but I had nowhere else to go. I can't find an apartment in my price range and I didn't want to come back here. London is where I belong. I know Mom and Dad don't approve of my life choices, but one thing I'm sure of is I'm never going to live in the states again. London is my home. Even though I can't navigate the underground, and I don't do any better above ground, I'm more comfortable in London or even Brighton, than I ever have been here."

"I know. I can tell. I just worry about you. I don't like the idea that you hang out and now live with a couple of guys that I've never even met, but I'm glad you have friends that would take you in like that." He said reaching his arm around me and putting it on my shoulders.

"Don't tell Mom and Dad. They will literally have a cow." I said.

"Wait did you just say lit-rill-y? It's lit-er-ally." said Ian with a laugh.

"Okay shut up about the way I talk. When you're surrounded with people that say things weird, you tend to take it on. Just wait the next time I'm here I'll have an accent."

"Oh yeah? Give me your best British accent." Challenged Ian.

"The zebra literally ate the tomato." I said attempting to recreate a sentence Dan once was asked to say. It was bad.

"I'm not even from England, and I know that that was terrible and would be extremely offensive if anyone was to ever hear you sat that." Ian said while holding on to his stomach from laughing so hard.

"Okay what did I miss?" said Lily joining us again.

"Sammie here has decided that she is now going to speak with a British accent form now on." Said Ian.

It looked like he was going to cry from laughing so hard.

"No I'm not. You're a jerk." I said play punching his arm.

Just then a number was called over the speakers. Ian looked at his slip.

"Okay, I'll go ahead and get the food." He said standing and going to get the food.

"So what happened while I was gone?" Lily asked leaning in across the table and whispering to me like Ian could still hear us even though he was at least a hundred feet away.

"Well he was asking if I was still friends with Dan and Phil and I managed to accidentally tell him that I'm living with them." Lily's face looked horrified.

She knew how protective he was and it wasn't just me. He was very protective over her too. Lily was like a second sister and he would be there for her just like he would for me.

"He took it well. He is actually grateful that they were so nice to have given me a place to go when I had nowhere else. He just doesn't like the fact that I'm living with two guys he hasn't even got to meet yet." I said.

"Really? I didn't expect him to take it that well." said Lily her shock evident on her face.

"I know, and instead of continuing on with the conversation, he dropped it and moved on to making fun of how I say words now." I said with a pout.

"You mean the literally thing?" Lily asked.

When I had called her a few weeks ago and she asked me to come and visit, I had used literally in a sentence. She made fun of how I said it so hard. She made the joke that I was becoming more British than American. Now I knew what she meant by that.

"Yeah. The literally thing. Then he asked me to say something with an accent. It was horrid." I said hiding my face in my hands causing Lily to laugh.

"What did you say?" I was really hoping she wouldn't ask.

"I'm not doing it in the accent but I said the zebra literally ate the tomato. It was bad and I mean really bad. If there had been anyone from England around, they would have thrown things at me." I said.

"Oh my god." Said Lily laughing.

"Did you try to say something else in the accent?" said Ian putting down our tray of food. I ignored him and dove straight for the fries. I was so hungry.

"Oh I see. Food is more important than acknowledging your own brother's existence." said Ian trying to make me feel bad.

I ignore him.

"It's like she's making out with them." said Lily from across me.

I flipped her off while simultaneously shoving fries in my mouth with the same hand. Now that's what I call talent.

Ian, Lily and I had a really good time chatting about things that didn't really matter. Ian and Lily's favorite sport is called pick on Sammie, so there was a lot of that going on but I managed to get a few good ones in there. Living with Dan and Phil did have its upside apparently. It has made me more quick witted so I actually have a fighting chance at defending myself when Ian and Lily feel the need to attack me.

We talked for a good three hours before Ian decided he need to go home. Lily and I had planned on riding around but she and I quickly decided that we had spent enough time in a car for at least a couple of days. So we decided to go home as well. At the car I had a really long hug with Ian. It was almost like he felt he needed to hug me in case I got on a plane to go home tonight.

"I haven't seen him laugh like that in a long time." said Lily once she and I were both in the car and out of Ian's earshot. "I missed his laugh."

"Has it really been that long since she broke him?" I asked.

"Yeah it's been almost two months since she broke it off with him. He hasn't been the same since. It's almost like you being here had gotten him out of his funk." said Lily.

The rest of the ride home was silent. I thought about all of my plans for the next two weeks were. Lily and I had planned on a trip down to Boston depending on if she could get time off from work, Funtown Splashtown, a trip Down to Portland for some shopping, and lots and lots of swimming. Ian had said that Mom and Dad would probably want to have a family dinner in the next few nights. I made a mental note to call my Mom when we got back to Lily's.

She and I sang along to the radio. Although I love Dan and Phil, I missed having someone I could sing along to the radio with and not feel like I need to purposely be bad. I know that I don't have to when I'm around them but like I've said before, I hate the spotlight. I don't want them to know I'm musically inclined. Plus it's fun to sing like an idiot.

Once at Lily's, I called my Mom. She hadn't told my Dad yet and I asked for her to keep it a secret. I was going to come over for diner tomorrow night and she even said Lily was invited. The rest of the night, Lily and I just lounged around the house. She and I watched some of our favorite movies and by the time we were done with that, it was dark out and Lily had managed to pass out on the couch.

I didn't want to wake her so I just went into the other room. I looked at my phone for the first time all day and I had three texts from Dan.

 _Hey just wondering if you landed yet. Text me when you get this._

 _I'm assuming you didn't get my last text. I need to know if you landed._

 _If you died in a plane crash I'm gonna kill you._

I laughed at the last one.

 _Hey, yeah I landed. Sorry I left my phone at the apartment charging. Are you even still awake?_

I pushed send and laid down on Lily's bed with my phone in my hand. I didn't feel tired at all. Probably because I slept on the plane and in the car. I felt my phone buzz in my hand.

 _Yeah I'm still awake. I've been pacing._

I didn't know if I should ask because this is around the time that he fell asleep most nights but I did anyway.

 _Can I call?_

I didn't get a reply. Instead my phone started buzzing repeatedly signaling that I had a call.

"Hey." I said into the phone.

"Hey." Came a very familiar voice from the other end.

"How is it having just Phil to keep you company?" I asked expecting some sort of witty bant in return.

"Not the same. You've literally been gone less than twenty-four hours and I already miss you." I was shocked at his seriousness.

"If it makes you feel better, ever since the plane took off I've been counting down the hours until I'm back on UK soil. I love my family and want to spend time with them, but I miss home." I said.

I guess this was going to be a deep conversation.

"Yeah well I'm afraid you'll have so much fun there you won't want to come back." said Dan.

I couldn't tell if he was joking or being serious.

"Nah you'll just miss my pancakes and having someone to do the dishes." I said choosing the joking option.

"No. if you stay there I'd miss you. This flat, London, this country, wouldn't be the same without you. If you moved, I think Phil and I would have to follow you there. It's like you have become such a big part of mine and Phil's lives. I really can't imagine going back to you not living with us let alone you not being in our lives anymore."

"Dan, your hurting all of my feels. You sound like you need a hug." I said.

"A hug wouldn't hurt." He replied.

"Okay do me a favor?" I asked.

"Sure."

"Go up to my room and tell me when you're there." I said. I heard some heavy breathing letting me know Dan was going up the stairs.

"Here."

"Okay are you in my room?" I asked.

"I am now."

"Okay go over to the bed, you can get on it if you want, and under one of the pillows you'll find a pillow pet. It's a panda. Let me know when you find it." I heard him sit on my bed and ruffle around a bit.

"Okay found it." He said.

"Now what I need you to do is give it a really good hug and imagine I'm hugging you back." I heard silence on the other end.

"Are you hugging it?" I asked.

"Yeah."

"Is it working?"

"Surprisingly." said Dan with what sounded like a smirk.

I laid like this with my phone and Dan on the other line for a while. We didn't really say much, but we were both taking comfort from the other just being there. If Lily saw this, she would tease me for listening to him breathing, but honestly it was one of the most comforting feelings ever.

It wasn't long before I fell asleep to the sound of Dan's breathing. By the sound of it he was asleep too. That night I didn't dream. I slept so deeply that I don't think even Lily screaming at me could have woken me up.

 **I am very disappointed** **that no one went to read the Twilight story I told you about last chapter. She is my Lily. I'm not going to bring it up again because that would be annoying but I think you should really go and read this story. She is the reason I'm even writing this story in the first place and I never actually intended to post it. So you should go and thank her for convincing me to post. If you do go make sure to leave a comment saying something nice about her story and be sure to say "Hi Lily" so I know you went. I will be checking. A little bribe, if you do go and leave a comment, I'll do something for you pertaining to this story or a one shot. You choose, within reason. PM me what you want and I'll add it in if it's within reason.**

 **This is her story s/11227357/1/Fate-Be-Damned**


	16. Chapter 15

**Surprise! So I've decided that the second update will be on Monday but seeing as I am going to be gone I figured I'd post it today.**

 **So if you read the last chapter I said I was thinking about posting two chapters a week for the month of October. I have decided to in fact do that because of how excited everyone was. I thought I would give you a couple of reasons. 1. October is my favorite month what with it being Fall and Halloween, and 2. The Amazing Book Is Not On Fire comes out this month and my excitement is overwhelming.**

 **As Ssgcp called it, #Updateober is now under way.**

 **Chapter 15**

I woke up cuddling a dead phone in my hand and Lily curled up next to me. She must have climbed into bed after I fell asleep. I reached over and plugged my phone it just in case Dan or anyone else tried to get ahold of me. I knew it must have been early because it was just starting to get light out. I tried to roll over and go back to sleep but I just couldn't. I did the math and it was about ten at home. I wonder if the guys are up yet.

I stayed in bed for a while. I didn't want to move, but when Lily kneed me in the stomach I decided I really needed to pee. After making a trip to the bathroom, I laid on the couch until I heard Lily's alarm go off at around seven. I sat up knowing Lily would be out soon.

"Hey, what are we gonna do for breakfast?" Lily asked sitting on the back of the couch and flipping over it so her legs were hanging off the back and her head was on the cushion.

"I don't know but I don't want eggs or pancakes." I said. The idea of having pancakes was sickening after having them so many times.

"But my pancakes are the best." said Lily with a pout.

"I know, but all the guys ever want for breakfast is pancakes. I'm sick of them. How about yogurt or fruit or something like that?" I suggested.

"I would but I only have the stuff for pancakes." said Lily.

I pouted at her.

"Ugh fine get dressed. We'll go to the store."

It took us about twenty minutes to get dressed. Neither of us really felt like doing our makeup so we just skipped it for today. Of course I'd have to do it later on for diner. Lily had on a pair of light washed jeans that fit her perfectly and a tank top.

I chose a black pair of skinny jeans and I stole one of Lily's t-shirts. It was dark purple with white lettering saying "I'm secretly a mermaid". We both pulled our hair back into loose ponytails. I wanted to go barefoot but Lily wouldn't let me so I settled for some flip flops.

We got in the car and drove to the closest store. I got yogurt and a fruit salad and Lily got the same. I decided the fruit wasn't going to be enough so we went to our favorite café. It was the kind of place where you could sit outside and enjoy your coffee and a bit of people watching. I grabbed a table while Lily went in to get us coffee. I had only been sitting there for a few minutes when I heard a voice from the past.

"Is that Samantha Daven I see?" I turned and saw someone I thought I'd never get to see again.

"Gloria?" I said jumping up and pulling the older woman into a hug.

Gloria was my voice instructor and piano teacher. She was actually the reason Lily and I ever met. When I was seven, I was chosen to do a duet in the upcoming recital with a fellow seven year old. It just happened to be Lily. She and I have been friends ever since.

"I was told you had moved out of the country?" she said making it sound like a question. The surprise was evident on her face. I had always been a home body.

"I have. I'm only visiting for a bit. How is Italy?" I asked.

"Absolutely beautiful. If you ever get the chance, you need to visit. Now tell me, which exciting country are you having your adventures?" she asked sitting in one of the seat at the table.

"I studied a year abroad in London and I loved it so much I decided to stay." I said.

"Ah did Lilian join you in your journeys?" she asked.

Ever since she paired us for the recital, Lily and I have been inseparable. It was a shock to everyone when I was studying abroad in London. They expected Lily to go to but she had no interest in it.

"No. She's finishing out school in the US. I'm not sure what her plans are afterwards. Probably teaching. I'll be returning to London in a few weeks." I said.

She looked just as shocked as my family did when I told them Lily and I would be living on different continents.

"Gloria?" I heard Lily say join us at the table.

"Lilian, so wonderful to see you." Said Gloria standing and pulling Lily into a hug.

"It's good to see you too. What are you doing here?" asked Lily.

She looked as shocked to see Gloria as Gloria did to see me.

"Reminiscing." She said with a wave.

They both sat at the table.

"Samantha here was telling me about her English adventure. So Dear tell me, how many strapping young men do you have swooning at your feet?" Said Gloria turning back to me.

Lily and I exchanged a look. I knew Gloria wanted some kind of romantic story, but I had none to tell.

"They definitely are not swooning, but I do have a couple of friends. I live with them actually." I said with a sweet smile.

"What are these "friends" names?" she asked.

It's almost like she knew they were both guys.

"Um, Dan and Phil. I'm almost as close with the guys as I am with Lily." I said.

"Well if they aren't swooning over you, they are imbeciles. Those names do sound familiar though. Did you meet them here before you went abroad?" She asked.

"No, I actually met Dan on the underground and he introduced me to Phil. They were roommates before I moved in with them which is actually a recent thing." I explained.

"Do you happen to have any picture of these young men?" She asked me.

Most of the pictures in my phone were of them to be honest. I take a lot of candid pictures in hopes to get a derpy one so that I can set it as the contact picture. I do have quite a few good ones thought. I also have a few of the three of us just goofing off.

I scrolled through my phone and found a picture of the three of us covered in flour, one where Dan had stuck gummy bears on my face and Phil looked like he was going to bite me, and another from when we went on the London Eye. I wanted a picture of the guys but they would only agree to it if it was one with the three of us. This is the one I showed her.

"That one is very handsome." She said pointing to Dan.

I couldn't stop the blush that spread across my face. I'm almost positive Gloria noticed but she didn't get a chance to say anything about it."

"Grandma! There you are. I've been looking everywhere. Oh hey Lily and… Sam?" It was Sophie, Gloria's granddaughter.

I recognized her from the picture Gloria had in the piano room. We had met a few times. Last I remembered, she had moved to Massachusetts to live with her husband, but I did remember hearing something about not wanting her daughter in the public school system down there.

"Hi, how are you?" I asked politely.

"I'm good. It's good to see you. I thought you were living out of the country?" She said.

"Just visiting." I told her.

"Okay grandma, we have to go and get Clare from school. She has a doctor's appointment." Said Sophie.

"Ah, it was Clare. I heard those names from Clare. Clare is Sophie's step-daughter. I could have sworn I head those names before. Dan and Phil, Clare talks about a couple of English boys that make videos. That's why they sounded familiar." Said Gloria.

I felt the color drain from my face.

"Oh really? There are a pair of boys that make videos named Dan and Phil. What a coincidence. That's funny." Said Lily with a nervous laugh.

"Okay well I'm going to go to the car. Meet me there." Said Sophie turning and crossing the road to her car.

"Lilian Dear, you are a terrible liar. I would have never been the wiser if you hadn't opened your mouth. You know I don't believe in coincidence." Said Gloria putting a hand on Lily's shoulder and standing. "It was nice seeing you again Samantha. Promise me you'll come and visit me before you go back to London?"

"Of course." I said standing to give her another hug.

"And I won't be telling my step-great-granddaughter, that you know the two boys that she is absolutely obsessed with. Your secret is safe with me. Lilian on the other hand needs to be taught to keep a secret."

With that Gloria crossed the road and climbed into Sophie's car.

"Why do I always feel like that woman doesn't like me?" said Lily with a sigh.

"Because you can never be as good as me." I said with a wide smile.

"Believe me I know. You were always her favorite." Said Lily kicking me under the table once I was sat back down.

"Ow." I said rubbing my shin and pouting at her.

We ate our fruit before the coffee was even brought out. We were so hungry we didn't even bother to talk. I do have to say that yogurt was a welcome change from pancakes. When I went home I was going to have to start running with Niomi frequently in order to not gain a million pound from eating pancakes every day.

"Seeing Gloria sure does bring back some memories. I was wondering, have you played since you moved?" Lily asked once she was done with her breakfast.

"I didn't have a piano at my old flat but Dan has one in his room. The guys don't know I can play so the week they were gone I messed around on it a bit but it's so out of tune, I could barely managed to hold on to the melody. I have been thinking about getting a keyboard though." I said not looking up from my fruit.

"Wait they don't know you can play?" Lily asked.

I shook my head.

"Well why not? You could teach Dan a few things."

"The problem is, when it came up with Dan, I told him I didn't know how to play. He attempted to teach me but gave up because the piano was so out of tune." I said thinking back to that night.

I had been over at Dan and Phil's while Phil was away on vacation. I had realized that I did in fact have a crush on Dan at this point but I was still kind of in denial. We had been sitting next to each other on the couch. Dan was listening to music on his phone and I had plugged in my headphones so I could listen too.

In the song there was a really beautiful piano piece and I couldn't help but move my fingers along with the notes. Dan noticed me doing this on my laptop. He then asked me if I knew how to play. I of course lied and told him no because I it was my automatic reaction when asked if I could sing or play any instrument.

Dan offered to teach me. I didn't want to be rude and say no so I agreed. He led me into his room and had me sit in the chair at the piano. He didn't have another chair so he stood behind me. My heart was racing and I could feel my hands go sweaty. I remember thinking that I really hoped Dan didn't touch my hands.

Of course, he reached around and had me place my hands over his so when he pressed a key, the finger I was supposed to use moved with his, and he started to teach me to play. About half way through teaching me one song, he gave up, telling me that the piano was so out of tune it was painful to listen to. When in actuality it was because Dan was getting annoyed with himself because he didn't really play all that well and he didn't feel like he should be teaching me. I overheard him telling that to Phil.

"Well do they at least know you can sing?" Lily asked pulling me out of the memory.

"Um…" I didn't make eye contact with her.

"Samantha!" said Lily in her, what I like to call, Mom Voice. I didn't make eye contact.

"Does this mean you don't sing along with the radio or do you just purposely do it badly?" she asked knowing I could never not sing along to a song I know.

"You know I can't not sing along to the radio." I mumbled.

"I thought you said that Dan is your best friend back home and Phil came in close behind him. If they are really your friends, don't you think they wouldn't care if you could sing or not. You're lying to them." said Lily, her Mom Voice intensifying.

"It's not like I meant it as I don't want them to get to know me. I just wanted to, I don't know, in that moment, I didn't want Dan to know I could play the piano better than he could, and I don't think I would do it differently if I had the chance. One of my favorite memories with Dan is the night he tried to teach me to play piano." I said thinking back to that night again.

"But Sammie, what happens if they find out you can play piano and sing. Do they know about the other instruments that you play? I mean really." said Lily.

"I know. I fucked up. Can we please not talk about it?" I said going back to my food.

I didn't want to have this conversation with her right now. Yes I did miss playing especially seeing at there was a piano right downstairs, but what I love most is when Dan is messing around on the piano when he's bored. Even though the piano is painfully out of tune and Dan isn't the best I've heard, it's one of my favorite sounds in the whole world. He would never play around on it again if he knew I know how to play.

Once we were done with our coffee and I was done eating, we walked around town a bit. I really wanted to check out the book store. They featured a company that made beautiful, handmade journals. I had managed to fill up my last one and I needed more. I also wanted to pick one up for Dan. He commented on one of mine that it was really cool.

I ended up finding a few that I liked. One was big and dark brown leather with stamp patterns that made me think of a spell book. It had a strip of leather that wrapped around it to keep it closed. The other two were smaller. One was a deep red color and the other was the same brown as the bigger one.

The red one had a little clasp to keep it closed and it reminded me of some of the things Dan got when he went to India. I got that one for him. The other little one had a leather wrap too but on the front of this one there was an opal set into the middle. I had to practically pry it from Lily's hands when I showed it to her. She loved opals.

We window shopped at a few of the other stores around town not really finding much. Although we may or may not have spent over an hour at the music store. Every time we go in, I have to drool at the grand piano they have in there. I also may have drooled all over a really beautiful acoustic guitar that I may have possibly put on hold.

Lily tried to talk me out of putting it on hold but it was only on hold for three days. Her argument was that I couldn't even really play it all that well, I couldn't afford it, and I wouldn't even be able to get it home on the plane unless I wanted to pay extra for baggage. It made sense, but it was just so pretty that I couldn't help it.

Lily had to drag me out before I tried to buy something else I couldn't afford. I totally intended to go back and look at the piano music though. Maybe I could pick a couple of things up for Dan. I also made a mental note to ask him what the cord was that he was missing for his keyboard.

By the time we got home it was almost two in the afternoon. Lily and I had grabbed a quick lunch from another little café. We didn't like that one as much because you couldn't sit outside but they had premade sandwiches that you could just grab and go. We sat at her little breakfast bar and ate the food before going to get changed and ready for the diner at my parents.

We planned to go a little early so that we could help my mom cook even though she normally would just kick us out after ten minutes. Lily picked out clothes for us while I took a shower. Lily had a knack for putting together outfits that were perfect for me. I don't know how she did it. Once out I took one look at the dress and called for Lily.

"What is this?" I asked when she came into the bathroom. I was in just underwear and a strapless bra with a towel on my head holding the dress by its straps. Lily took one look at me and laughed.

"It's a dress." said Lily trying to hide her residual smile.

"I know that, but it's blue. Why are you putting me in a blue dress?" I asked.

I had never really felt that blue looked good on me. It looked amazing on Lily, making her eyes look purple instead of her normal blueish-purple.

"Your skin color looks amazing with this color and it'll make your eyes look cool." Lily explained taking the dress from me. She always told me how jealous she was that I never actually had to tan, but in the summer she was always managed to get darker than me.

"Please just humor me."

I sighed and took the dress from Lily's hands. Once it was on, I realized what she meant about it complementing my skin. The lighter color made me look darker. The dress was a really light blue, lace dress. The straps were about an inch thick and then went down into a scoop neck that just covered my cleavage. It hugged my body nicely until it hit the bottom of my ribcage where it flowed outward. It ended just above the knee.

The dress was paired with a dark brown leather belt and a pair of dark brown strappy leather sandals. I looked at myself in the full length mirror on the back of the bathroom door and felt like I wanted to do a little spin. I was thankful that Lily picked something that was modest enough to be around my parents but still made me look good. I still would have preferred the dress to be black but that never really was Lily's thing. I walked into Lily's bedroom where she sat on her bed straightening her hair.

"That dress looks better on you than it ever did on me. I told you it would look good on you." She said looking up at me.

"Ugh, whatever." I said not wanting to give her the satisfaction of her being right.

"Can I do your hair?" she asked from the bed while I bent over to towel dry my hair.

"I guess. What do you want to do?" I asked.

"It's a surprise." said Lily with a straight, very serious face. I couldn't help but laugh at the look on her face.

"Okay." I said with a smile.

Lily was very good at hair so I knew she wouldn't make me look bad. I walked over and sat in front of the bed. I don't know why, but Lily always insisted on straightening my hair before she did anything with it. My hair is pin straight so I just couldn't imagine why she did it but it did mean I didn't have to blow dry my hair so I didn't argue, this time.

I let my mind wander while I let Lily do my hair, and once again my mind went straight to Dan.

I had stayed at the guys flat for the first time ever. Dan gave me his bed. I had tried to refuse but he said he was sleeping on the couch either way. That morning Dan had to shower. I was lying awake in bed staring at the ceiling. Dan came in in just pajama bottoms and his full on hobbit hair which was wrapped in a towel. He had been straightening his hair for a few minutes before he noticed that I was watching him.

"What, it's not like you don't do this." He said over his shoulder.

"Actually I don't. I don't need to." I said to him.

He just looked at me like "really you have to be kidding".

"Lies." He said.

"Nope. Never have." I said.

"I hate you. I hope you know that." He said to me going back to doing his hair.

I couldn't help but laugh. I know how Dan felt about his hobbit hair but I actually didn't mind it. He actually didn't believe me until we went on our swimming adventure. We spent the whole day in Dan's room listening to music. This was also the first time we had our music days where we laid on the floor of a dark room and listened to music really loudly.

"Okay. I'm done." said Lily pulling me out of my memory. "Go in the bathroom and tell me what you think."

I did what I was told and got up off the floor and went to the bathroom to see Lily's creation. What I saw shocked me a little. It was still my face, but Lily had managed to curl my hair, which I didn't even notice she was doing by the way, and pin the front bits so it looked like I had a fringe without her chopping off my hair. The hair coupled with the dress cause me to barely be able to recognize myself.

"Wow, give me your hair magic!" I exclaimed from the bathroom.

I could hear Lily on the bed laughing.

She came in and had me do her makeup for her. I chose to do a pretty natural look but I worked some blue into her eye shadow and then lined her water line with a blue liner making her eyes look almost violet.

"You have to teach me how to do this." She said looking at herself in the mirror before leaving to get dressed.

I did my makeup in the bathroom while Lily got dressed in her bedroom. I decided to do I light smoky eye and a bronzy glow. I played with the idea of a red lip, but in the end decided it wouldn't go very well with the rest of the outfit and just decided on Chapstick.

Once I was done I made my way out of the bathroom. Lily was standing at her book shelf where she kept all of her jewelry, putting in a pair of earrings. She had chosen to wear a dress too. Hers was a darker shade of blue than mine but still a light blue color. The top was cut in a similar fashion as mine but instead of a scoop neck it had two flaps that crossed over the bust of the dress.

The dress was slightly pleated at the bottom whereas mine just flowed out, and it also ended just above the knee but it was a little shorter than mine. She was wearing black heals with her dress making her almost as tall as me.

"Okay I feel kind of weird wearing almost the same color, but you look amazing." I said getting her attention.

"Thanks but you look better." She said coming over and standing next to me so we could both see ourselves in the mirror on the bathroom door.

I didn't agree with her but I wasn't going to argue. She knew how I felt being compared to her. I'm plain and ordinary and she is absolutely gorgeous.

"Is Ian picking us up or is he just going to meet us there?" I asked changing the subject.

"Meeting us. You ready to go?"

I nodded and we were out the door but not before I grabbed the purse Lily told me to use that went with my dress that contained my phone Chapstick and some money just in case. This is why I don't Let Lily pack for me. I mean what will I need money for at my parents.

"Are you excited to see your Dad?" Lily asked once we were on the road to my childhood home.

"I am. I've missed him so much." My relationship with my father had always been a good one. He even secretly called me Sam, but not in front of my mom. He and I have talked a couple of times since the last time I visited, but I knew that he really wants me to move home and go back to school. He's just not as pushy as my mother.

Silence engulfed the car. The rest of the very short ride was silent as I stared out the window at the familiar roads I've traveled so many times in my childhood. Before I knew it we were pulling up to a white house that I knew very well.

It was a relatively modest two story white house with black shutters on the windows. You could see my parent's vegetable garden off to the left and the close line all the way in the back of the back yard.

Lily and I climbed out of the car and walked up the familiar steps to my parent's front door. Almost instantly memories of the last time I was here came flooding back. I had been having a conversation with my mom about one of her friend's children that had gotten into a very good college. I knew where the conversation was going but I didn't know it would be going this far.

"Speaking of college, this came in the mail for you a couple of weeks ago." Said my mother holding out an envelope with my name on it.

It had the official crest of the university that I had dreamed of going to when I was still in high school. I opened it and inside was an acceptance letter.

"Why have I been accepted to a college I haven't even applied to?" I asked my mom with a frown.

"Well I know how much you wanted to go to that school so I took the liberty of applying for you. I told you that you would be able to get into any school you wanted." She said as if it didn't matter that she had applied for college for me without my permission.

"So you filled out the application and wrote an essay just to prove that I could get into the college eighteen year old me wanted to get into." I asked incredulously.

"No I took the essay you wrote for the last college you applied to. I found it in your room when I was cleaning it out."

I was fuming.

"You can't do that. I can't go now even if I wanted to. I can't believe you did that. What if I did go and they found out I didn't even actually apply myself. It's an invasion of privacy. How could you do this?" I said my voice volume going up with each sentence.

"I thought you would be happy to know that your first chose college would jump at the chance to have you." She said not getting why I was so mad.

"Well they can't have me. I'm not going. I can't believe you. Why can't you just except that I don't _want_ to go to college? I'm going to live in London and figure out what I want to do with my life." I said throwing the acceptance letter in the trash.

"Well you can't make a living out of the internet. I want you to do something useful with your life."

Her words hurt especially seeing as I had just started my blog. I knew she had looked up the guys when I said that they make videos on YouTube.

I left before she could say anything else about her disappointment in me. I held back the tears not wanting her to know just how much her words affected me.

I got on a plane that night back to London, cutting my visit short but three days. When I landed I texted Dan letting him know I was back in the country then curled myself in a ball and finally let the tears escape and cried myself to sleep. Dan showed up later that night waking me by rubbing my face with a wet cloth.

He knew I had been crying and was wiping away the tear tracks. When I realized what he was doing, the tears started to flow again and even harder this time. Dan hugged me and told me that whatever it was, everything would be okay. That was the night that I realized that my real home was London, England not Nowhere, Maine.

 **Vany-You are quite the fortune teller. Keep reading, you may find a surprise (chapter 18). No need to apologize I speak English and still eff it up sometimes. p.s. Lily says thank you. Also make sure to let me know what you want. one more thing, I was told the you actually commented twice, I was sent both of them. Thank you.**

 **Ssgcp- Thanks for the hashtag but I changed it a little bit. It sounded better as one word.**

 **Danisnotonfire's Twin Sister- Honestly same.**

 **Thank you to Fandomwriter45 and all of the people listed above for reviewing. You are all amazing.**

 **Dear Romanow, I missed your review last chapter. I was looking forward to it but I won't hold it against you that you didn't review...**


	17. Chapter 16

**I noticed that some of you seemed to be confused last chapter. Sammie didn't go back to London. That was a memory of the last time she came home. Sam is still in the US and she is actually going to be there for a while. I'm on chapter 25 and she's still in the US although not for long. I promise lots of cute Dam moments, but there is also a lot of character development in the next almost ten chapters. I'm hoping that by the end of October I'll be posting chapters where Sam is back in London. Until then, you get to fall in love with Lily and Ian who I have plans for in the future *insert evil laugh here***

 **Thanks to Romanow, Ssgcp, Vany, and Danisnotonfire's Twin Sister for the reviews.**

 **Sorry for such a long author's note but yeah.**

 **Chapter 16**

Lily knocked on the door. We waited for a few minutes and then the door opened reveal my mother.

"Oh you're early. I was just starting to cut things up. Come in, come in." She said looking frazzled.

"Do you want some help with anything Mom?" I asked politely but I knew what her answer would be.

"No, no. Head on in to the living room and just relax." She said waving us off and heading off to the kitchen.

I took a few minutes to look around the entry way I knew all too well. The walls were still the same white. There was still a door to the left that led into the dining room. To the right was to a doorway without a door the led to the living room. Straight ahead was a set of stairs to the left and a hall to the kitchen on the right side.

We took a right into the living room. It was like stepping into a time capsule. The tan couches looked exactly the same and I could have sworn they haven't moved since I had last seen them. There was one to my right against the wall facing me and to the left there was another smaller one up against the wall. On the wall opposite was a fire place. It used to be a real one but my parents turned it into a gas one because it was safer.

Then on the far wall of to the left was my parent's music corner. They got me and my brother in to music at a very young age and I burned through a lot of instruments. This is where my parents kept them. The only thing missing was the old guitar my brother learned to play on. He took it with him when he moved out. He has since gotten a new one.

There was a stack of band instruments that I started learning to play but lost interest in. I played flute and clarinet for a year. Then wanted to try violin. I felt like it was boring so I moved on to cello which I liked even less. It was heavy and I didn't like carrying it. None of them stuck.

At the age of eight I started learning piano with Gloria because she found me in there sitting at it and not touching it. I remember admiring the giant grand piano. I wanted to touch it so badly but Gloria's only rule in the studio was don't touch the piano.

When she found me I was so scared. I thought I was going to get in trouble for sitting there eying the keys. Instead she asked me if I would like to learn to play something. I of course jumped at the chance to touch the ivory keys. She came and sat next to me. My hands itched to push one of the keys but instead I wait for instruction.

Gloria was never one to teach childish songs for beginners. Instead she started me off on Beethoven. It was hard but for some reason I was determined to learn it. My parents took notice to my intense interest in the piano and went out and bought one. It still sat in the same spot against the wall as it did when my parents surprised me with it.

No matter how many instruments I tried, I would always go back to the piano. There was just something about the way it sounded and how my fingers just seem to glide across the keys. I especially loved the sound of the piano blended with a voice.

Next to the piano in the corner of the room was an old chest that was filled with sheet music.

On the other side was an old looking red chair with cherry colored wood detailing and legs. Lily and I always used to fight over who would get to sit in it. It was usually her while I took a seat at the piano. Between the chair and the piano, there was a stand that held extra guitar strings and other bits to fix the instruments and things like rosin for the bows of the violin and cello.

"I call the comfy chair." said Lily racing over to the chair before I could even comprehend her words.

"I hate you." I said following her over and sitting on the piano bench after throwing my purse in her general direction. I ran my fingers across the fall board before lifting it up revealing the keys. Without thinking about melody I started pushing random keys.

"Hey Sammie," Lily stated as if to ask me a question. I turned and looked at her. "Can I play games on your phone?"

 **asdfghjkl**

 **Third Person POV**

Sammie just gave a nod and went back to pressing keys on the piano. Lily opened up Peggle on the phone and started to play. She was about to finally beat a level she had been working on since yesterday when the phone vibrated causing her to miss the shot.

Lily looked to see why the phone had vibrated and the little message icon had a tiny bubble with a one in it. She planned on looking at it and telling Sammie what it said but when she saw it was from Dan, she had to reply to it.

" _Hey, what are you up to?"_

Lily felt and evil grin spread across her face but wiped it away before Sammie could see.

" _Hi. This is Lily. I'm playing games on Sammie's phone."_

 _"Okay. Hi."_

 _"Just so you know, I'm the best friend. I was the best friend before you and you can't take that away from me. It's my title."_ Lily typed out with lots of silly emojis trying to convey that she was joking.

" _I would have never dreamed of it."_ Lily was relieved that he didn't think she was serious.

" _Just thought I'd make it completely clear."_

 _"Understandable. So what are the two of you up to?"_ The evil grin made a short reappearance before it was shoved away again.

 _"I can show you better than I can tell you."_

"Hey Sammie, will you play something for me?" said Lily opening up the camera on Sammie's phone and pushing record.

Almost instantly, Sammie started to play a silly little tune that you only needed two fingers for and started sing the Llama song. Once Sammie was done, Lily hit the button to stop the recording.

"Oh come on. Play a real song." said Lily sneakily attaching it as a file, writing a "hehehe" as the message and sending it to Dan.

"Fine. I know the perfect one." said Sammie.

Lily had just managed to hit record before Sammie started in on the song. It was one that Lily didn't recognize. Sammie had a wider taste in music that Lily did so she wasn't really surprised that she didn't know this song.

It started out slowly and softly. About thirty seconds in, Sammie started to sing. Lily wasn't expecting it but she intended to send it just the same. The song was very pretty sounding but Lily didn't really get the lyrics.

"What was that?" Lily asked keeping it recording just in case Dan didn't know the song either although he probably did.

Sammie had told her quite a bit about Dan and their similar music taste.

"It was Pyramid Song by Radiohead." said Sammie without looking over at Lily.

Lily stopped the recording and attached it as a file like she did with the last. The message she sent this time said "I think you may know this one" and then she sent it.

She was about to ask Sammie to play another one when Ian walked in.

"Hello ladies." He said coming over and sitting on the arm of Lily's chair. He had his guitar case with him.

"Hey." The girls said at the same time.

"Hey Ian, can I mess around with your guitar in a few?" Lily asked.

While Lily wasn't as musically inclined at Sammie and Ian, she could however play the guitar. Her voice wasn't as good as Sammie's but she didn't let that stop her from singing along with her sometimes.

"Yeah, sure. I just tuned it so it should be all good to go." said Ian putting the case at Lily's feet. "I'm going to go out back and check out the lawn mower for Dad. He thinks he might have hit something when he was mowing the lawn."

Ian was gone soon and Lily decided to make another request.

"Okay Sammie, that was pretty and all but can you please play a song I actually know." As she said this she hit record on the camera and then propped it up on the stand beside the chair checking that Sammie was in shot.

"Okay. Get ready." Sammie started in on the piano and Lily recognized the song almost instantly. It was a song that Sammie had sent to Lily a few months ago. It was called Skin Tight by Niykee Heaton. Lily grabbed the guitar and started playing and singing harmony at the pre-chorus.

"Never have I ever believed in a happy ending, all them fairy tales, always knew they were just pretending." They sang together.

It made Lily think of Ian. Ian was her fairy tale and she didn't think it would ever happen but she still hoped.

"Never thought I'd be that girl, then you came and rocked my world, never thought I'd be that girl, then you fucked up my world."

The girls sang while Lily dropped out with the guitar so it was just Sammie playing. The lyrics made Sammie think about how before Dan, she never thought she would be the kind of girl to fall in love with her best friend.

The girls finished out the song and Lily went over and picked up the phone hitting the stop button. Then putting the guitar away.

"There, are you happy now?" Sammie asked with a smirk.

"Ecstatic." said Lily with a grin while sitting back in the chair.

Sammie went back to playing random keys. Lily took this opportunity to send the video to Dan like she had with the last two. Then after it said the message had sent she typed out another text.

" _Isn't my best friend amazing?"_ She didn't get a reply to any of the videos or the text she just sent.

" _I'm deleting the texts. Please don't tell Sammie you know."_

With that she deleted her whole conversation with Dan including the first one he sent. Lily also stole Dan's number. She had evil plans and they involved Sammie.

 **asdfghjkl**

Dan and Phil had been lounging around the house all day. Even though Phil was there the house felt empty with Sammie gone. Dan had woken up still in Sammie's room cuddled with his phone and her pillow pet. He felt weird being in Sam's room without her being there. So he quickly went back to his room.

Dan eventually ventured out into the lounge. Today was an internet scrolling day where he didn't nothing but scroll Tumblr and watch YouTube videos. Phil joined him around two in the afternoon.

Around seven, Dan went back into his room. He caught himself thinking about Sammie. He thought that maybe he should text her or something. He texted a quick "Hey what are you up to" and sent it. What he didn't expect was for someone other than Sam to text him back.

He ended up having a little conversation with Lily, Sam's best friend in the US. Dan could tell she was joking in her texts by the amount of emojis she used. When that conversation ended he re-worded his first text and sent it again.

 _"I can show you better than I can tell you."_

Dan was intrigued by this message. He waited for a few minutes. Just when he thought she wasn't going to text back, his phone went off. He opened the text to find a video. The message about it said "hehehe"

Sammie sat at a piano and was playing a little two finger tune he had taught her. He knew what was coming next.

"Here's a Llama, there's a Llama, and another little Llama. Fuzzy Llama, funny Llama, Llama, Llama, Duck." He couldn't hold back his laughter. He watched while Sammie finished out the Llama Song. He saved it to his phone.

As soon as he was done there was another text sent to his phone.

" _I think you may know this one."_ Dan had no clue what she could have been talking about. He opened the video. Almost instantly the sound of a well-tuned piano filled his room.

Lily was right he did recognize the song. It was one Dan had been learning a while ago. What confused him more, was that Sammie was at the piano. He watched as her fingers moved. He thought she didn't know how to play. She even let him attempt to teach her. Dan suddenly felt embarrassed and ashamed.

Then another surprise. Sammie started to sing. Whenever he had heard her sing before, she was terrible, like worse that Dan when he isn't really trying, terrible but this, it was so good. It made Dan chest hurt with how good it was. He listened to the song all the way though and then listened to it again.

After the second play though was done, he saved that video to his phone as well. When Sammie came back, he was going to have to have a talk with her. She was so good. He didn't understand why she would purposely sing badly or pretend to not play the piano.

Then he realized why she never told them. She hated special attention. It was a reason she didn't want to be in any video and why she looked so mad when he told her he and Phil had to tell the subscribers about her. She didn't want them to give her any special attention for being able to do a couple of things well. Maybe he wouldn't be having a talk with her when she got back.

As he was thinking this, his phone went off againvand then a second text came in right after. The first was a video. He clicked it. Again Sammie was sitting at the piano but the angle of the camera was different from the last two videos. You could see more of her face and less of her hands.

Dan took in the fact that she was wearing something other than black and it looked amazing on her. The light blue complementing her skin tone that almost matched his. Her hair was curled but it was styled in a way he hadn't ever seen it before. It almost looked as if she had a fringe but he knew Sammie hadn't cut her hair.

Sammie started singing again. This one seemed like more of an upbeat fun song. Once she started the chorus, another voice and a guitar joined along with hers. Lily looked just like she did in the picture Sammie had of the two of them on her dresser. She was the original best friend. Lily's voice wasn't as developed as Sammie's leading Dan to think that Sam had had voice lessons.

He watched as the two of them had fun and sung along with each other. He really started listening to the lyrics of the song.

"Oh you got me trippin', acting like a fool, we could do this all night, way your body fits mine."

Those lyrics pulled Dan into a memory he had forgotten about.

Dan was over at Sammie's for a music night where they would lay in the floor in a dark room and listen to music. Sammie had fallen asleep first. Dan did what he normally did when she fell asleep and pulled her headphones off so she could move and lay comfortable.

He had taken off her headphones and she started to stir in her sleep. Dan froze as she wrapped her arm around him and buried her face in his chest. Dan didn't know if he should wake her up or just let her move on her own and save her the embarrassment. He set her headphones above their heads next to his.

He thought to himself, when he was ever going to have the chance to hold her like this again. He took advantage of the situation and wrapped his arm around her shoulder. The first thought that came to his mind, was the fact that she fit so perfectly lying next to him.

Dan was pulled out of the memory by his phone going off again.

" _I'm deleting the texts. Please don't tell Sammie you know."_ No he definitely was not going to be telling Sammie about this either. He saved the last video to his phone and then put on his headphones. The first song that came on was Pyramid Song by Radiohead. Sammie sang it better.

 **I really hope you liked this chapter. Next time we have the dinner with her parents. I can't wait for you to meet Sam's dad. See you Monday!**


	18. Chapter 17

**Sorry it took so long for me to post this. I was having some difficulty with my internet but it's all fixed now.**

 **Danisnotonfire's Twin Sister - I've never even heard of G2E2 before so that's probably a no I won't be going.**

 **Ssgcp - Hmmm ;)**

 **Chapter 17**

I messed around on the piano for a little while longer until I heard a car pull into the driveway. I watched from the window above the couch as he grabbed his brief case and walked toward the door. Before he could open it, I grabbed the handle and opened it for him. He froze in the doorway.

"Hi Daddy." I said.

He looked at me for a second and then engulfed me in a hug. He smelled like aftershave and the hospital. I realized just then how much I truly missed him.

"I'm so happy to see you Sam." He said in my ear then pulled away. "You're not wearing black."

Of course that would be one of the first things my father would say to me.

My mom never really liked my monochromatic wardrobe, but my father found it quirky. He loved that I embraced my individuality and didn't conform to my mother's idea of a perfect daughter. While he was disappointed that I dropped out of college, he understood my reasoning for it. While my mother on the other hand thought I was throwing away my future.

"I let Lily dress me." I explained.

"Ah yes that would explain the blue."

My father knew Lily almost as well as he knew me. She always wore a lot of blues and purples in order to play up her eye color. She wore purple when she wanted them to look more blue, and blue when she wanted them to look purple. Let's just say she owns almost as much blue as I do black.

"How was work?" I asked moving out of the doorway so that he could come in.

"Good, not much action today. The emergency room was quiet so I didn't do much except for sit around and do a surgery."

I loved how my dad talked about doing a surgery like it was paperwork.

"Your mother didn't tell me you were coming into town. When did you arrive?" he asked looking slightly confused.

"I didn't tell mom. Lily and I planned it and Ian helped but we made him promise not to tell you. I wanted it to be a surprise. Mom found out yesterday, when I got here, and I begged her to not tell you until tonight. We're staying for dinner." I explained.

"We meaning who?" he asked.

"Ian is out back, something about a lawn mower and mom invited Lily to come as well." I told him.

"Where are you staying?" he asked taking off his jacket and putting his briefcase by the door.

"With Lily."

"I wish you had told me you were coming. I would have gotten a day off. I don't have any." He looked saddened by that.

"I'll tell you next time. I think I might be coming around Christmas or Thanksgiving depending on if I can afford it." I told him.

It also depended on how well my mother and I got along for the next two weeks.

This ended our conversation and he went up to his study which used to be Ian's room before he moved out. I wandered back in to the living room and messed around with the piano for a bit longer.

I got out some sheet music and started to play what was written. It took me a few minutes to figure it out because I was rusty at reading sheet music but I soon got the hang of it.

Before long my mom poked her head in and told us dinner was almost ready. Lily and I stood and went into the dining room.

Drinks hadn't been put out yet and neither had the food so we went to the kitchen to help. We brought out the silverware and dishes to set the table and poured everyone drinks. Then we started bringing the food to the table.

When we were done, Lily and I sat next to each other with our backs to the window that gave you a view or the front yard. Soon Ian and my dad joined us. Ian sat across from me and my Dad sat to my right. I made sure to sit on Lily's right because of her left-handedness. My brother and both of my parents were also left handed. I was the right handed black sheep of the family.

Diner went well. My parents asked me what I was doing for work and I told them that I was still working at the coffee shop but my hours were still all over the place. I also told them I was thinking about getting a second job but I was unsure about it because I didn't like to use the underground.

My parents were well aware of my hatred of the London underground. More ammunition for my mother's argument for me to move home and go to college.

We chatted about what Ian was doing he had recently graduated from college with a masters in engineering and he was looking into a few jobs. Alexa was not mentioned by anyone at the table. I knew eventually I would have to have the conversation about it all with him soon but now wasn't the time.

"So how are your friends in London? Phil and Dan, right?" My dad asked.

Lily and I exchanged a quick glance.

"Um they're good." I said.

"And I forget, what did you say they did for work again?"

Lily and I exchanged another look.

"Um, I didn't." I said, pleading for help from Ian from across the table.

My Dad didn't know what Dan and Phil did because I didn't know how he would react when I told them they were YouTubers. Mom only knew because she weaseled it out of me and she is a very good snoop.

She had a way about finding things out that you didn't want her to. Like about my blog.

"Well what do they do? They must do something to make a living." My dad said.

The whole table was quiet for a moment. Ian and Lily exchange a look and the looked at me. All four sets of eyes were on me. I felt a sudden pressure to say something. That is what they were waiting for.

"Well they um," I couldn't find the wording I wanted to use so I decided to just kind of spit it out.

"They make YouTube videos." I said holding my breath.

"They make actual money off of that?" My dad asked.

He didn't look confused like my mother had. Just curious.

"Yeah. They have almost nine eight million subscribers between the two of them and three channels. Dan and Phil each have their own channel and then they have a gaming channel together. They also have a shop where they sell merchandise to the subscriber if they want and in October, they released a book and went on a world tour. Every year they take two trips to the US for conventions. One in Florida, and the other in California. The one in California just happened two weeks ago." I explained.

"So they have basically made their own business by making these videos and building a fan base?" my Dad asked.

"Yeah it's actually kind of cool if you think about it. But at the same time it is hard being friends with them. They get recognized a lot while out and about in London. Like I said before they have almost nine million subscribers between them, while most of the subscriber are subbed to both of them, it's hard to tell exactly just how many they really have combined. If I'm with them when they get recognized, they always get asked who I am." I said.

"And that's a bad thing?" My dad asked.

"It could be. Most of their viewers don't know I exist. I don't really want to be in any videos," Lily snickered at this so I kicked her under the table. "Therefore when I'm seen with them by a viewer, they have no clue who I am."

"Why don't you just explain it to them?" My mother chimed in.

"We don't do that because most of them will think I'm in a relationship with one of the guys. That is exactly what we don't want. They have a lot of viewers and all it takes is one person to get onto some social media site and post a picture of me with the guys and the whole Phandom will know about me. I don't want to be in the spot light. That's Dan and Phil's thing. I could also possibly get hate from fangirls if they think I'm in a relationship with one of the guys. A lot of their fans seem to think that Dan and Phil are a couple." This time it was Ian's turn to snicker.

"Their ship name is Phan with a "ph". I can just see the amount of hate comments on social media I would get if the Phandom thought I broke up "Phan". They want to save me from that. Also I don't want to possibly start to get recognized on my own. That would be really weird."

When I was done speaking, the whole room fell quiet. There wasn't even the sound of silverware on plate. The silence was growing more and more awkward as it went on. I made eye contact with Lily and I could tell she felt the awkwardness in the air as well. Just when I was wondering how we were ever going to break form this silence I heard my phone go off in the other room.

"May I be excused?" I said and left without receiving an answer. Once in the living room I found my phone and answered it.

"Hello?" I said.

"Hey Sam, is this a bad time? I know it's late but I wanted to talk to you about something." It was Zoe.

"You literally couldn't have called at a better time. I'm home for a couple of weeks and the whole table just fell into an awkward silence." I said.

"Oh you're gone?" Zoe said sounding bummed.

"Yeah it was a last minute thing." I said.

"Dammit. I wanted to know what you wanted to do for your birthday. It's the eighteenth of this month right?" she asked.

"Yeah, sorry. We can have a little get together when I get back. Pizza and board games. Sound good?"

"Yeah sounds good. Call me when you get back."

"Okay." I replied.

We said our goodbyes and then ended the call. I didn't want to reenter the dining room but I knew I would have to sooner or later. I took a deep breath and made my way back to the dining room.

"Sorry about that. That was my friend Zoe. She wanted to plan something for my birthday but I told her I wouldn't be there for it." I said to the quiet room.

"Oh you're staying that long?" my mom asked referring to the last time I came to visit for a week and then cut it three days short because of the argument.

I ignored the double meaning of the question.

"Yeah I actually only have a one way ticket. I figured after two weeks I'd go home but I didn't want to book it just in case I decided to stay longer." I told her not mentioning that I also did it in case I wanted to leave sooner.

I didn't want to give my family hope that I would be staying for good, but no matter how I explained it, my mother would twist my words somehow.

"I promised Dan I'd stay for a max of two weeks."

Ian shot me a look across the table so I figured I should explain the meaning behind that.

"Two weeks ago, Dan and Phil went to California for a week. The week after that, I was working every day except for the day before I left so that I could pack. Now I'm going to be gone for two weeks. The guys and I haven't really gotten the chance to hang out in almost a month. If I were to stay any longer Dan would probably call me on a daily basis to bug me about when I'm coming back. That sounded less weird in my head."

"I know that when I don't get to see you for a long time I tend to text and call you a lot, so that would make sense." Lily added totally saving my butt.

The rest of dinner went smoothly. My parents moved on to interrogating Lily about her job and how school was going. She didn't really say where she worked but when my parents asked about how her job was, Ian got a smirk on his face like he knew something I didn't.

After we ate, Lily and I attempted to help my mom clean up, but she told us she didn't want us to get our dresses dirty and just to not worry about it. Lily, Ian, and I left soon after.

"Well that was quite eventful. I'm glad I'm the good child." said Ian getting in his car.

I stuck my tongue out at him.

Lily and I had a quiet car ride back to her apartment. When we got back I was quick to change out of the dress and into a pair of black leggings and a tank top. I felt so much more comfortable in black than I did in any other color. Lily told me to keep the dress because it looked better on me but I don't think I would ever wear it again.

That night, Lily convinced me to watch all of the Twilight movies with her. Half way through the third one she was out like a light. I did not feel bad that I didn't have to watch the last two.

With her falling asleep on the couch so much, it made me wonder how often she actually slept in the bed. I didn't want to wake her, so I just went to bed on my own once again.

I laid awake and thought about my dad's reaction to Dan and Phil's job. I thought for sure he wouldn't really understand it but he seemed more curious than anything. My dad had always been the open minded one out of my parents. I think I got that from him.

Once again I end up thinking about Dan before bed. I was supposed to be getting over this stupid crush and all I've done so far is make it worse with my constant thinking about Dan. If I ever want to get over him, I really needed to stop that.

 **Thank again to those that reviewed. Eleven more and you get an extra chapter. That would be THREE chapters in one week. Anyway, see you Thursday.**


	19. Chapter 18

**I just realized that we hit fifty reviews so here is a chapter. I will still be posting tomorrow and I will have all of the shout outs in tomorrows chapter. Next goal is 100 reviews and then after that, it'll be every 100 reviews.**

 **Enjoy what the reviewers have all earned.**

 **50 reviews. Excuse me while I rush to the hospital. I think my heart exploded and love and gratitude and happiness. You are seriously the best group of readers.**

 **Chapter 18**

Once again, I woke up before Lily. I didn't mind though. I was used to getting very little sleep hanging out with Dan and Phil then having to work in the morning.

Lily was right about only having the stuff to make pancakes, I realized when I looked in her fridge. While we did pick up a few things yesterday, it wasn't much. I felt like we needed a few more things so I dressed in jeans and a tank top and walked to the little store on the corner.

It seemed like news that I was back had gotten around town quickly. When I walked in to the store, everyone said hello to me. May, the cashier, asked me what it was like in London. I couldn't really explain it to her and just ended up telling her she would have to go there someday.

Jeff, a man that lived down the road and did some gardening for my parents, asked me how it was living in a big city. I told him that it was very different form here but I liked it just the same. Which was a total lie. I like London much more than I ever liked it here.

It took me twice as long as I had anticipate to get out of the store because people kept wanting to stop and talk to me about London. I was happy to finally have the sanctuary of Lily's apartment. When I arrived back, she was awake and dressed sitting on the couch.

"Hey, I thought you had run away or something." She said as I walked through the door.

"I thought about it, but I left my stuff here so I had to come back." I retorted.

"So glad to know our friendship means so much to you. What's that?" Lily asked pointing to the bag.

"Only the best junk food I could find…. and milk for scrambled eggs." I replied and started unpacking all of the goodies on the sideboard.

"I figured we could stay in today and just chill. What day are we going to Funtown?" I said not really wanting to have to deal with people in town or in general for that matter.

"I have to work tonight. I have tomorrow night off. Then I have to work Wednesday night so I figured like Friday. Ian want's to hang out with you Wednesday night by the way." She said.

"Okay. Sound like a plan." I said sitting on the couch beside her.

For most of the day we just sat around and watched movies. I gave Lily the British care package I made for her before I left. We ended up eating all of the candy and we ate a lot of the junk food I went and got earlier. We ate so much junk food that I almost thought I was going to fall into a sugar coma. I definitely was going to have to go on a few runs with Niomi when I got back. Especially if I have to make pancakes every day when I get home.

It was one thirty when I remembered today was Phil's live show day. Seeing as I didn't normally watch them because I was there, I figured I would while I was away. It was starting soon and the movie we were just watching had ended so it worked out perfectly.

I stopped Lily from putting in another movie in and went and grabbed my laptop. I sat everything up so that when Phil started, everything would be ready. Lily didn't look too interested in watching the live show so I told her I wouldn't be mad if she wanted to do something else. She ended up going into the other room before it even started.

Phil's live show started out like it normally did. He said hello to everyone and then he started in on talking. I saw in the chat, that everyone was wondering where Dan was and asking where Roomie was. I could tell he was ignoring them until there was a premium message, asking quite politely, how Phil, Dan, and I were all doing.

"I'm really good today. I can't really speak for the others. Dan is somewhere and Roomie went home to visit her family." said Phil then he quickly started on a new subject. The chat exploded in "where is she" and "where does she live". Thankfully he ignored them.

"Do you ever feel weird when you know your friends are watching your live shows? Um sometimes. It really depends on the friend and if I've said something about them before I find out that they are watching." said Phil answering a premium message.

I couldn't pass this up nor could I suppress the evil chuckle.

I pulled out my phone and texted Phil telling him that I was watching him.

"Sam D. says hi." He said looking at his phone and then pretending to read the chat.

My eyes grew wide.

I texted him again telling him that he wasn't supposed to read my text out loud.

"Sam D. says I wasn't supposed to read that out loud." He said with a sly smile.

I texted him an "I hate you".

"Sam D. says she hates me. Now that wasn't very nice Sam D." said Phil.

I had the urge to stick my tongue out at my computer but I knew it would be useless.

Instead I texted him saying if her doesn't stop, I was never going to make him pancakes again. His eyes got wide and he looked sacred.

"Sam D. says goodbye." said Phil recovering with a laugh.

The people watching kept asking who Sam D. was and asking if this person was in the chat. Phil said they were but he and I both knew the truth.

When Phil was finished his live show I texted him again.

 _"_ _I can't believe you did that."_

 _"_ _It was funny though."_

 _"_ _Now people are going to hypothesize that Sam is my name."_

 _"_ _Wow, Hypothesize. That's a big word for you."_

 _"_ _Phil…"_

 _"_ _Sam could be a guy name. If anyone asks I'll just ignore them."_

 _"_ _I'm still mad at you."_

 _"_ _I'm sorry. But you don't hate me right?"_

 _"_ _No. I can't. It's physically impossible."_

It was about three thirty when Phil and I stopped texting each other. I went in to the room to see what Lily was up to. She was laying on the bed with her laptop in her lap. I sat on the bed beside her.

"Live show over?" she asked taking out her head phones.

"Yeah. I'm bored now." I said.

"Well I have to get ready for work so your boredom is just going to get worse." She said. I sighed dramatically. Lily laughed at me and got up to take a shower.

It took her about a half hour to get ready. Once she was out of the shower, I watched as she did her hair and makeup. I wasn't exactly sure where she worked but I knew it was over night and in town. We said our goodbyes and at five she left the apartment, leaving me all alone.

Not ten minutes after she left, my phone started to ring over on the couch. I thanked any higher powers that may be out there for the distraction this would be for me. Now I won't be bored. I ran to answer it hoping it wasn't my mother.

"Hey." said a voice I had missed for a while.

"Hello my wonderful bestest friend." I said.

Wow, I'm so annoying sometimes.

"Are you on drugs?" Dan asked me.

I could hear the laughter that wanted to escape, in his voice.

"No. Am I not allowed to be happy to hear from you?" I said.

This time Dan really did laugh.

"You were bored, weren't you?" said Dan knowingly.

"Yes." I said drawing out the "s".

"So how was Phil's live show?"

Damn you Philip.

"It was okay but it could have been better." I said knowing Phil was listening in.

"Hey!" I heard Phil exclaim in the back ground.

Dan and I were thrown into fits if giggles.

"Skype?" I asked when the giggles subsided.

"Yeah sounds good." said Dan before he hung up.

I went to grab my laptop and opened up Skype. I sat it up on the breakfast bar. As soon as I was logged in, the call was coming through. I clicked the accept button and Dan's face popped up on my computer.

"Hey." I said waving to Dan.

He was wearing one of my favorite jumpers of his. It was black of course. I loved the way it covers the bottom half of his hands making me want to lace my fingers with his. His hair was done perfectly. Obviously he had gone outside today. The background was a very familiar poster indicating he was in his room.

"I thought you were going to be doing lots of fun things so you didn't know when you'd be able to get to go on skype." said Dan spitting back words I had said to him when we were hanging out the night before I left.

"Yeah well Lily has a job and has to do this thing called work. Ian had a job interview today and some of his college friends managed to get him out of the house to celebrate. So I have nothing to do except for wander the streets and that could be potentially dangerous. I could get attacked by a cow or a deer or something. Living in the backwoods of Maine could put you in a potentially dangerous situation." I said trying to keep as straight of a face as I could.

"Attacked by a deer?" said Dan with a smirk.

"Oh did I say deer, I meant bear."

With that I couldn't help but laugh.

"You turnip." said Dan laughing along with me.

I stuck my tongue out at him making him laugh and shake his head.

"I may or may not have had copious amounts of both sugar and caffeine today so…" I said bouncing in my seat a little and purposely looking anywhere but at Dan causing him to let out another small laugh.

"Do we need to have another coffee intervention?" Dan asked with traces of a laugh still present in his voice and a smile that made his adorable dimples more pronounced.

NO! Bad Sammie! Even my inner monologue sounds hyper.

I shook my head and reached for my glass of iced coffee I had to the side of my laptop. I took a sip through the straw and shifted my eyes from side to side.

"That's it. I'm cutting you off. I'm hiding all the coffee in the house."

"You'll never find my secret stash." I said adding an evil laugh at the end which caused me to choke on my own spit which in turn caused Dan to laugh again.

"Well that didn't go as planned." I mumbled after my coughing fit had stopped.

Dan just continued to laugh.

"I almost died and you think it's funny?" I said my voice raising an octave.

Dan laughed harder.

"You are a meanie head!" I said crossing my arms.

"I'm a what?" said Dan thought his laughter.

"A meanie head." I said pouting at my computer.

Dan laughed hysterically.

"Okay stick that lip back in." he said once he could speak through his laughter.

I pouted more. I never did like doing what I was told.

"Oh come on." Dan said no longer laughing. "Don't do that Sammie."

When he said my name like that, the butterflies that I had felt with him before, had returned. Something about the way he said it made them erupt full force. I had all I could do to beat them down. In this moment, I had the overwhelming urge to kiss him.

No, this can't happen. Sure I've thought about kissing him before. Multiple times I had wondered how it would feel to have his, almost always chapped, lips press against mine. Yes, there have been moments when I just wanted to lean over and kiss him, but this time was different. There isn't a doubt in my mind that, if I was sitting next to Dan in this moment, I wouldn't have been able hold myself back.

The realization of this startled the pout off my face causing Dan to think that he won. I wasn't going to tell him otherwise.

"There, now was that so bad?" He said when I smiled at him.

Thank god I recover quickly.

"It was extremely difficult. All of my smile muscles hurt." As I said it, I couldn't help the smile that spread across my face.

We were on Skype for few hours. It was going into the wee hours of the morning for Dan and I could tell he was getting tired. About a half hour into the call, he had moved into a laying position. This was now adding to his exhaustion.

Dan kept nodding off for a few seconds so I suggested we get off and he go to sleep, but he refused. Dan and I had a little argument and I ended up giving up. A few minutes later Dan had nodded off for almost a minute only waking when his head fell off of his hand. He decided that I was right and he needed to go to bed. We still didn't end up getting off until almost twenty minutes after that.

I went to bed just after we ended the call.

I couldn't fall asleep. Thoughts about Dan and the stupid crush were racing through my mind. The harder I try to get over it, the more I ended up thinking about how good his hair looks or that he looks really good in whatever outfit or his lips.

I think way too much about his lips. Even now thinking about them makes my lips tingle with want. I want to kiss my best friend and I hate myself for it.

Thank god I was on another continent earlier tonight when I wanted to kiss him. I would have kissed him and destroyed my friendship with him.

The more I thought that harder it was to fall asleep. I wanted to talk to Phil but he was probably asleep way before the Skype call ended.

I needed to talk to someone about this so I did the only thing I could think of doing. I grabbed my phone, opened notes and just started writing. I was typing furiously with no care of spelling or grammar.

This was obviously the right thing to do because not long after I started writing, I fell asleep.

One thing I learned today, this crush thing is getting really out of hand.


	20. Chapter 19

**So lat night while I was writing chapter 25, I checked my email to see if I had any reviews. What I was gave me a heart attach. I had reached fifty reviews and you guys earned another chapter. I'm now at 65 reviews and I am in a state of shock.**

 **Guest- NO! NO SHIPPING SAM AND PHIL! I have lots and lots of evil plans in store for Phil *muhahahaha***

 **Call me dayna- make a profile, favorite my story, then check your email otherwise I post on Thursdays. Sometimes I post more that one chapter a week and that will usually be a Sunday or a Monday until we hit a review goal and the reward for that is and extra chapter as soon as I notice.**

 **pepper'n'salt- BAD. No reading til you study. School comes before this story. I do not want to be the cause of someone not doing good in school. Please do your homework and study first. This can be your reward for being studious, but thank you for thinking my story is worth losing sleep.**

 **darth jannab- this is the funniest thing I've heard ever.**

 **Thank you to Ssgcp, Romanow, Danisnotonfire's Twin Sister, and all of those above for your reviews. Rrrachel, all of your questions will be answered at the end of the chapter.**

 **If you review, make sure to thank Rrrachel who got us to fifty reviews(she posted 20 reviews). If something like that happens** **again, we'll make it to 100 in no time.**

 **Okay I need to got to writing so I can keep up with you guys.**

 **Chapter 19**

In the morning, I woke to Lily climbing in to the bed. She apologized six times before I told her in UK time, this was when I would normally wake up. It made her feel a bit better but she could tell I had been up most of the night.

I could feel that my eyes were puffy and I probably had deep purple bag underneath them. All of the caffeine and suger from yesterday was no longer affecting me so first on my agenda for the day was coffee and of course Lily didn't have any more coffee.

I decided on a shower to wake me up and then when the café opened, I would go down there with a notebook and my laptop and work on one of the blog posts I had started on the plane.

Lily's shower was so confusing. You had to turn the handle just the right way for you to actually get hot water. It made me miss the shower back in London.

I climbed in once I had finally managed to get the water at just the right temperature so I wouldn't turn into and ice cube from the water being too cold or my skin melted off by it being too hot.

I sat on the floor of the shower hoping to kill some time and so I couldn't dwell on my lack of caffeine. As I sat there with the water pelting down on me, I closed my eyes and started thinking back to the start of mine and Dan's friendship.

The boy I had met the other day had been texting me all week. Dan, his name was Dan. We had met for coffee three time since I replaced the one I had caused him to spill. Which he kept bringing up to tease me.

I was laying on my floor as I felt my phone vibrate on my stomach. I reached down already knowing who it would be.

 _"_ _Hey, what are you up to?"_

 _"_ _Not much. Just lying on the floor contemplating the meaning of life."_

 _"_ _I thought I was the one that was supposed to be in a permanent state of existential crisis."_

 _"_ _Well I guess you're just rubbing off on me."_ Oh god, that sounded so wrong.

 _"_ _So have you happened to caffeinate yourself yet today?"_

 _"_ _Yes, but there is no such thing as too much caffeine."_

 _"_ _So you wouldn't say no to going and getting coffee with me?"_

 _"_ _No."_

 _"_ _Is that a no you won't say no or are you saying no?"_

 _"_ _Where do you wanna meet?"_ I guess I'll have to get dressed.

I got up off the floor and made my way into my room. What to wear, what to wear?

 _"_ _So I guess that's a yes then. Do you wanna meet at the Dials?"_

 _"_ _Uh. Sure if you give me directions."_

I threw my phone on the bed and rummaged thought my closet. I settled on a pair of dark blue skinny jeans and a black t-shirt. Shoes, where are my shoes? I hunted around for my amber brown boots. Ah under the bed. I got down on the floor and then laid on my belly to look under the bed. Found them!

It took me a few minutes to reach for the boots. How in the hell did they get so far under there. I swear my bed eats things that get too close. Once I finally got my boots on, I checked my phone. I have to take the underground. Shit.

I did my makeup quickly. Literally just powder and mascara. I grabbed a lip balm and shoved that and my phone in the pocket of my leather jacket with my wallet and house keys. I almost left before I remembered to run a brush thought my hair.

I made my way to the underground. I had never taken it without one of my friends from school guiding me and honestly, I was kind of scared.

Once in the station, I loaded my card and made my way down to the platform. There was a giant map of the London underground. Okay I need to go to the dials.

Okay Sammie, you can do this. How hard can it really be? You've seen your friends do it. Just find the station you need to get off on and you'll be all good.

Just my luck, I get on the wrong train. I get off and I have no clue where I am. Fuck. What do I do?

I made my way to the closest map. Okay let's try this again. I traced out the route I needed to take to get me to The Dials and then made my way to the platform of the train I needed to take.

The subway pulled up. Okay let's try this again. I got on and found a seat which happened to be unexplainably damp. I tried to not think about that or the smell. I got off at the next stop.

I made my way to the map and… Motherfucker! I was nowhere near the next train I needed to get on. Damn it. Okay deep breaths. I can do this.

Once again, I traced out the route I needed to take and I double and triple checked that I was getting on the train I needed to get on. There was no way I could screw it up this time.

I got on the train and traveled the route I had planned out, but when I got off, nothing looked right.

The station that was close to The Dials was a busy one. The one that I got off at was practically deserted. My heart fell into my stomach and I felt like I was going to cry.

Calm down, don't panic. Just ask for help. I went up to a guy that was standing by the information booth.

"Um, excuse me. I'm trying to get to The Dials. Could you help me?"

"Sure, Love, but The Dials are very busy. If you want the London experience, you need to go to a pub. There's a really great one not far from here."

"Uh no thanks. I just need directions to The Dials." I said.

"Why are you trying to go there anyway?"

"I'm meeting a friend."

"Oh really? What's her name?"

"Why would that matter?" This guys was really starting to creep me out.

"I was just trying to make conversation."

"Sorry, but I don't really want to converse, I just want to get to The Dials."

"Sorry Love. There are a few different routes you can take. Do you want quick or easy?"

"Quick." I replied.

Now were finally getting somewhere.

"It's hard to explain really. I could show you how to get there."

"Look my boyfriend is waiting for me and I really need to get there as soon as possible."

"Come with me and I'll show you how to get there."

The fact that I was standing right next to the map and he was pointing in the opposite direction freaked me out a little bit so I said the first thing that came to my mind.

"Um no… oh that's my train." I ran to the train that was coming in. I don't care where it takes me, I just wanted to get out of there. I took the train as far as it would go and got off there.

I got off and was freaking out just a little bit. Okay maybe more than a little bit.

Imagine you're in a city that you're not completely familiar with in a country that is not your own then add the fact that you are under ground and completely lost. You could say I was on the verge of a panic attack.

My mind was blank as for what to do now. Then I remembered Dan was the one that gave me direction in the first place. I decided my only option was to call him and face the embarrassment.

His phone rang twice before he answered.

"Hey, you almost here?" He asked.

"No, I um, have no clue where I am. I'm lost." I said trying to keep the panic out of my voice.

"Okay. Look around what station are you at?" he asked.

"I don't know." I said panic seeping into my voice before I could stop it.

"Okay well you need to tell me what station you're at so I can come get you." said Dan sounding slightly out of breath. Was he running?! Maybe I wasn't keeping the panic out as good as I thought I was.

I looked around looking for a sign saying where I was. When I finally found it I told him.

"Okay I'm on my way. I'll be there in twenty minutes. Okay?" Dan asked.

"Okay, stay on the phone with me please?" I asked.

"I will but service-" and he was gone.

"Motherfucker." I whispered under my breath.

The station was completely deserted. Not a soul around. I was kind of glad for that because it cut down on my embarrassment but at the same time I had a feeling like I was in a bad horror film. I hate scary movies. Great now all I can think about is some creepy guy with a mask and I knife popping out and chasing me.

My imagination is not helpful in situations such as these. Okay think of nice things: Puppies, kitties, unicorns, pizza, chicken lo mein, Ben and Jerry's cookie dough ice cream I have in my freezer, Mom's chicken potpie with biscuits on top. Great now I'm scared and hungry.

I took a seat on a bench. One train stopped. No one got on and no one got off. I wait some more. Another train. Two people got off but neither of them were Dan. I was starting to panic more if that's even possible.

Another train still no Dan. I couldn't help myself any longer. I stood and started to walk back and forth. Train number four pulls up and still no Dan. I had gotten my path down. End of the bench twenty steps to the poll, around and back.

I heard another train but didn't bother looking up to see if Dan was getting off. I had pretty much lost hope that he was coming. I had just started at the beginning of my path when I heard my name from a familiar voice behind me.

"Sam?"

I looked up to find Dan.

"I don't think I've ever been happier to see you." I said throwing my arms around Dan's middle.

He chuckled and wrapped his arms around me. I stepped away a few seconds after that.

We caught the next train to where I was supposed to be going. Dan decided he wanted to stand. I don't normally stand on the subway so when we took off I had no choice but to grab Dan by the middle, for a second time, to save myself from face planting onto the very dirty looking floor.

"Is this hugging thing going to be an all the time thing now?" said Dan sarcastically.

"You saved me so you get unlimited hugs for the rest of time, so yes." I was too terrified to let go of him until he said we were getting off.

I mean it's not like I've never been on the underground before. I have. It's just I didn't do it often and I managed to get a seat every time. I could feel my face growing redder and redder by the minute. You could say I was very thankful when we finally exited the underground.

"We are to never speak of this again." I said turning to Dan and pointing.

"Okay." said Dan with a chuckle.

I couldn't help but laugh along.

"Come on." said Dan grabbing my elbow and pulling me in the direction we needed to go.

Within minutes I was completely lost and relying on Dan to show me the way. Man I was kicking myself in the ass for never leaving campus when I got the chance. Then maybe I would know my way around London a little better. I mean I've been living here for over a year. At the same time I was kicking myself for leaving the house this morning.

It was about a twenty minute walk until Dan pulled me into a Starbucks.

"You made me take a subway to get coffee. This better be good fucking coffee." I said remember why I even left the house.

"Nope, just normal Starbucks but I have someone I want you to meet." said Dan leading me over to a table.

Sitting at the table we were walking toward, was a man with a black fringe. For some reason, I had no problem picturing Dan hanging out with this guy.

"Sam, this is my friend, Phil." Dan said stopping in front of the table.

The man named Phil, looked up at me.

"Phil, this is Sam. She's the one that ran me over and spilled my coffee." said Dan to the man.

My face turned bright red. I had the urge to punch him but I held back. I can't abuse him more than I already have. Then he won't want to be my friend and he was definitely friend material after he saved me form the dreaded underground.

"Hi, it's nice to meet you." I said holding out my hand to Phil.

"You too." Said Phil grabbing my hand and swiftly dropping it.

Dan took a seat so I did the same.

"Sam, do you want a coffee?" Dan asked.

"Uh, yeah. Thanks for supporting my caffeine addiction." I said.

"You're welcome as long as you support any of my future addiction." said Dan with a smirk.

"Deal." I said and with that Dan got up leaving me alone with Phil.

"So… How long have you known Dan?" I asked attempting small talk.

"Few years." Phil replied and then went back to his phone.

"Are you from London originally?" I asked.

"No." Attempt number two failed.

"Sam attempted small talk and it was not very effective." I mumbled under my breath.

Obviously I was not quiet enough. Phil gave me a confused look. I smiled awkwardly. Thankfully this is when Dan showed up with the coffee.

"Here." He said putting the drink in front of me.

I handed him the money for my coffee but he wouldn't take it.

"No you bought it last time." I said shoving the money in his hand.

"Yeah but you bought the time before that." said Dan.

"So you bought the time before that." I countered.

"And before that you bought the coffee." He shoved money back in my hand.

"Because I knocked you over and spilled your coffee everywhere so I needed to make it up to you." I said getting a little annoyed.

"Good it's settled then, it's my turn." said Dan sipping his coffee.

"What? No. Just take the fucking money. You can't buy my coffee after…" I paused.

"After what?" Dan asked.

Fuck you Daniel. I glared at him. Phil coughed pulling me from the glare.

"So are you two like dating or something?" Phil asked.

"No, definitely not. I don't intend on dating anyone for a very long time. In fact, I think I might actually take a vow of celibacy." I said nonchalantly sipping my coffee.

I can't believe I managed to say that with a straight face. I could see Dan out of the corner of my eye trying not to laugh.

"Okay, I can't do this." said Dan with a laugh. "No we aren't dating, but you taking a vow of celibacy? For some reason I can't see that happening."

"Why not?" I said also laughing.

Dan just shook his head. Phil didn't really find the humor in what I had said. It seemed like an inside joke between Dan and I.

Dan and I had had a previous conversation about how I didn't intend on dating anyone for a while. He said that he understood because he currently wanted to focus on work instead of a relationship. The entire conversation came about when he asked how my boyfriend felt about me meeting another guy for coffee.

I sat for a while and just listened to Dan and his friend talk. Phil reminded Dan that one of their friends, Cat, was going to be flying in in a few days. Dan turned to me and said that I might not see much of him while she was there. I nodded and Dan and Phil's conversation continued.

Dan was almost done with his coffee when he knocked it over.

"Dammit, that's the third time today." He said quickly wiping up his spilled coffee.

"Wow Dan, you're on fire today." Phil said with a smirk.

Dan gave him an unamused look and replied.

"Yes Phil, and your amazing."

I felt like I was being left out on something but when they held eye contact for a little bit it hit me.

"Oh are you guy's gay?" I said with sudden realization.

Phil had been taking a drink of his coffee when I said that. Instead of swallowing it, the coffee shot out his nose some landed in his cup, some on the table, but most of it got all over Dan shirt. Dan's face morphed from one of surprised hilarity to surprised disgust to a mixture of both.

"No Sam, I'm not gay but I am covered in snot coffee." said Dan looking down at his damp shirt.

Phil just shook his head.

Soon we had left the coffee shop and Phil said something about going home to work on something. I was starting to get the idea that Phil didn't like me much. I mean he was nice to me but it seemed like a fake nice. A nice for the sake of Dan. I didn't really want to go home yet so Dan and I decided to wander the shops.

"So how is work going?" Dan asked me as we walked around.

"Good. I'm glad that my job supports my caffeine addiction as well." I said. "What about you?"

"Um, not really anything glamorous." said Dan with a smile.

"What is it exactly that you do at the radio station?" I asked.

"Well I help set things up and stuff like that." Dan replied.

I nodded even thought I had no clue what his job really was.

We continued to walk around. We stumbled across a clothing store and wandered inside. Almost instantly I was drawn to a shirt hanging on the wall. I walked over to it and picked it up.

"You like Digimon?" Dan asked.

"Hell no, but my best friend does. She and I have had countless conversations about which is better Digimon or Pokémon." I said. "Pokémon is better by the way."

"Agreed. Who is your favorite one?" Dan asked.

"Show wise or game wise?" I asked.

"I could kiss you right now." said Dan with wide eyes.

I burst out laughing and so did Dan. I really liked his laugh.

"Okay, favorite show wise, first generation?"

"Ya know, I really love Goldeen." I said desperately trying to keep a straight face.

Dan looked shocked.

"What?" said Dan, his eyes widening.

"I'm kidding. I hate Goldeen. It's a tie between Eevee and Jigglypuff. Another favorite is Piplup because I just want to cuddle it, but Jigglypuff is a childhood favorite." I said.

We continued our conversation about Pokémon while he walked me to the underground. We then continued just standing around and talking until I looked up and noticed it was starting to get dark.

"Dan, I really need to get home." I said ending our Pokémon conversation.

"Okay. Are you going to be able to make it home okay?" he asked talking about the underground.

"Yes… no. No I am completely incapable of deciphering the underground map and therefor I'll end up lost and then we will never be able to continue our Pokémon conversation." I said talking a little too fast.

"Do you want me to take you home?" Dan asked.

I nodded.

The whole underground ride, Dan and I talked about Pokémon. I told him the story of how Lily had once forced me to sit down with her and watch all of the episodes of Digimon. He even followed me off and walked me home so we could continue it. We stopped outside my flat.

"Do you want to come in?" I asked Dan.

"Yeah why not." Dan replied.

I led him up to my flat. He made a comment about my flat having more stairs than his did. I told him that there was an elevator but it was sketchy as fuck and I would only ever be caught dead in it because I'd probably end up dead if I used it.

When I went to open my door I noticed I hadn't locked it so I just opened it.

"Do you really keep you door unlocked?" He asked in shock.

"No but I left in a hurry and I just didn't lock it. I forget sometimes." I said taking of my jacket and throwing it on the couch.

"You really need to remember to lock the door. Someone could break in and murder you and I really don't want you to get murdered." said Dan.

"It's nice to know that you value our friendship that much, but it was an accident." I said but Dan wasn't going to let me off that easily.

"It's not a joke Sam. You don't live in a good part of town. You really need to lock your door." He said with a serious face.

"Look, I'm used to living in a very safe small town. Then in student housing, the door automatically locked when you shut it. I don't normally leave my door unlocked, promise." I said with a smirk. "Do you want something to drink?"

I made my way to the kitchen and opened the fridge.

"Sure, what do you have?" He asked.

"Uh, it looks like water, water, or… Oh hey look, a Pepsi. Wanna split it?" I said.

Note to self: make sure you actually have something to offer for a drink before you offer a drink.

Dan nodded so I grabbed two cups down. I asked if he wanted ice and he nodded.

"So did your friends attempt at Digimon conversion work even a little?" Dan asked.

"Not in the slightest. When I told her that she started sprouting off facts about how the Pokémon world didn't make sense and how Ash is still the same age throughout all of the episodes." I said with a laugh.

It was getting late when we actually finished the conversation. I really enjoyed talking to him. He understood me in the same way Lily did and it was great. I could tell the he and I were going to be good friends.

I noticed it was nine when his phone started to ring. It was Phil. He was wondering when Dan would be back. Dan decided that he should probably get home.

We said our goodbyes at the door and he was gone.

I was pulled out of the memory by the water turning ice cold. I had to bite my tongue to keep me from screaming out. Okay shower time over.

I dressed quickly in a pair of dark blue skinny jeans and a light gray top. Oh no, the world is coming to an end. I'm not wearing black.

Now I just really, really need coffee.

 **Rrrachel- (OMG so many r's) Thanks for the freaking heart attack. Haven't missed a Thursday yet knock on wood/touch wood. Sam only stress runs. It's not an all the time thing. You got me to fifty reviews therefore I owed everyone a chapter. Be happy. This month has been dubbed #Updatober. Two chapters a week for a month. So for the month of October I post Thursday and Monday. I see everything also I don't have tabinof yet because it didn't come out till the thirteenth here and my order got screwed up. When I get my book there will def be references. I can't believe you reviewed every chapter. I figured they were from you.** **20 reviews. I think I love you...**

 **I sincerely appreciate everyone who reviews or even reads my story for that matter. It's because of you that I have continued to write this story. Purpledragon93 may have gotten me to post the first few chapters but it's all of you that convinced me to continue posting and I will be forever grateful to all of you. One of my biggest dreams it to write a book and then publish it. that fact that anyone would even take time out of their lives to read words that I have strung into sentences baffles me and make me think that maybe my dream is more realistic that I originally thought. As long as I continue to have readers and reviewers, I will continue posting. Thank you.**


	21. Chapter 20

**Guest (Purpledragon93)- :P**

 **AmazingRrrachel- awesome username and I'm glad you finally made an account.**

 **Ssgcp- thank you but you are part of the reason I reached 50 in the first place so congratulate yourself.**

 **ActingLikeGarfeildOnaMonday- I'm glad you like my story that much.**

 **Amazingfire24- I have eeeeeviiiiiil plans but I can assure you that Sam won't end up with Phil no matter how hard you ship them. Sorry.**

 **Romanow- I'm really glad you like the flash backs because I have a lot of them planned in the future. You'll get to find out all about how Phil and Sam met and eventually became friends. I prefer reading the texts for yourself in stories, better immersion. Are you Psychic?**

 **Chapter 20: Piano Keys and Crushed Dreams**

I made my way to the café Lily and I went to on my first day back. Instead of sitting outside like last time, I found a table inside in a corner with an outlet in case I needed to plug my computer in and got to work on my blog post.

I told the waiter to keep the coffee coming and I'd let him know when I wanted something to eat. I got quite a bit of work done when I heard an all too familiar voice.

"Oh my god. Is that really Samantha Daven?"

I had to suppress the urge to roll my eyes and instead I planted a smile on my face.

"Hello Mel. It's good to see you." I said looking up at the blond haired blue eyed girl that ran the schools and now probably the town's rumor mill.

"I heard that you were in town but I just couldn't believe it until now. It looks like London has treated you well." She said with her all too fake smile.

I looked past Mel to see her loyal followers at either side behind her. Bella, a dark skinned, absolutely beautiful girl who for some reason would follow Mel to the ends of the world. I never understood why she followed Mel like a puppy. She could have easily been way higher up on the high school food chain but she always had hid in behind Mel's shadow.

Tina on the other hand was very plain. She had brown hair that hung limply just below her shoulders and she had muddy brown eyes. In school, it was rumored that she would do anything to get dirt on someone. Another rumor was that she was quite easy if you know what I mean. So it didn't surprise me to see that she was pregnant and had a little boy holding on to her hand.

"Yeah I thought I would surprise my parents with a visit home. I see you all are doing well." I said my eyes landing on Tina's very pregnant belly before looking up and meeting her eyes.

"Well we should be going. We have some wedding planning to do. Bret and I are getting married. You should come to the wedding." She said not looking sincere in the least.

"No, I won't be able to make it. I'm only here for a few weeks then it's back to London." I said thankful that I had the excuse.

I couldn't care less about going to that wedding.

"The wedding isn't until November. You could just come back." Did she actually want me to go or was she just digging for something?

"No, I don't make enough to be able to do that. I don't even know if I'll be able to come home for Christmas." I said.

"Oh well that's too bad. I guess I'll see you around then." She said.

Don't get me wrong, but I really don't like them. They have never done anything really bad to me like they have to some but that was because I flew under the radar my entire high school career, but they would love to get some sort of dirt on me. The town doctor's daughter could only fly so low under the radar.

Now that I think of it, I probably shouldn't have said a flight home was too expensive. I can just hear the rumors now. Town doctor cuts daughter off of from trust fund. Is it because she dropped out of college? Is it drugs? DID SHE HAVE SEX BEFORE MARRAGE?

Okay maybe not the last one but I could see her spreading the other two. That and while I was away in London for the first year I lost like twenty five pounds. She's gonna go for the drugs. The whole town is going to give me worried stares and they are going to say suggestively kind things. I'll be the town druggie.

"Hey Sam, the manager says you have to order food or something other than coffee or you have to leave. Sorry." Derick, the waiter said.

"Just give me whatever. A bagel I guess." I replied thankful that he had pulled me out of my downward spiral to who knows where.

I tried to get back into drafting another blog post but Mel and her growing group of girls continued to get louder and louder. Around one I had to pack up because I couldn't concentrate on the words. Why do girls have to laugh so obnoxiously?

I escaped to the only sanctuary I had left, the music store.

Ever since high school, my sanctuary was the music store and Gloria's studio of course. From the age of six, I've practically ate, slept, and breathed music.

When I started school, my brother used to pick me up and we would go to the music store. He had guitar lessons and I usually would sit and watch. It's because of my brother that I love the guitar so much but I never felt the same pull to it as I do to the piano. My brother actually offered to teach me multiple times but I never took him up on it.

When I went in to the music store, I nodded at the young girl behind the counter and headed straight to the sheet music. We had all of the piano books at home but you never know when they are going to come out with a new one. After striking out I went over to the grand piano that sat in the display window. I could see a few days' worth of dust on the fall board.

I checked to see if the girl at the counter was paying attention to me before putting my bag down and sitting at the bench. I ran my hand across the fall board to clear off the dust. I made a second pass of my hand on the fall board just to feel the glossed black wood of the piano. It felt like a handshake with an old friend.

I lifted the fall board and saw that there was even more dust on the keys. It made me a little sad knowing it hadn't been played in a while. I wiped the dust off each key without actually pressing it. When the dust was gone, the keys looked brand new.

I touched each key of the cord I intended to start with and the music just popped into my head. Before I could stop myself I started pressing the keys. I didn't recognize the song until after I played it, but it was one that a friend of Gloria's wrote for me in high school. If I hadn't chickened out at the last minute, I would have had a music scholarship.

"You can't play that! The sign says no touching!" said the girl from behind the counter.

She had come running over. I ignored her and just continued to play.

"Don't interrupt in the middle of a song Ellie." I heard a deep voice say.

I was so swept up in the music that I didn't recognize the voice until I was done and it spoke again.

"Why couldn't you have done that six years ago?" said the deep voice.

I turned recognizing the voice instantly.

"Ben!" I said jumping off the stool and running to hug the very tall man behind me.

When I say that Ben it tall, I mean he is very tall, like 6'7". His skin was the color of coffee before you put the milk in. He looks very scary but he's far from it. I don't think I've met a nicer person in my life.

"How is London?" he asked with a smile and hugging me back.

"Good but I don't have a piano so I'm kind of going through withdrawals. Sorry by the way." I said looking back at the piano.

"You are the only one that I've ever let play that thing. Don't worry about it. Instruments are made to be played." He said guiding me over to the counter.

"Now I see you've put a guitar on hold?"

Well I knew I couldn't hide it from him for long, he does own the store and all.

"Yeah, but Ian and Lily won't teach me how to play plus I don't know how I would get it back to London." I said.

"Oh so you're going back?" he said looking a little sad.

Yet another person who was hoping I would be coming home for good eventually.

"Yeah, I have a job and friends I don't feel like leaving yet." I said mentally kicking myself.

I couldn't bring myself to admit to Ben that I wasn't coming back. Have you ever seen a very scary looking black man cry? Well I have and I never want to see that again. Of course it was when he found out a family member had died but ya know, it's the same thing.

"I wish you had shown interest sooner. I thought you would be incredible on the guitar but Gloria would never let me steal you away." He said.

"I probably would have turned you down then. I had no interest in any instrument besides the piano." I replied.

"What with the way you used to watch your brother, I don't think I would believe that." said Ben with a laugh.

"So what brings you here? Run into someone you didn't want to see?" Ben asked.

"Kind of. You know this is one of my safe places. Well the only one left now that Gloria isn't at her studio anymore." I said with a small sad smile.

Gloria's studio held so many memories in those walls. The way the old hard wood flooring would creak and how the skinny boards felt under my hands when I used to sit in the hall before my recitals. The smell of new sheet music and the smell of the old sheet music. Even the musty smell of the storage room brought me back to when Lily and I played hide and seek when we were supposed to be looking for new reeds for the saxophones.

"You do know I bought that place right?" He said.

"No! I didn't know!" I exclaimed, my eyes going wide.

"Yeah, she sold it to me for a good price. Figured I'd take better care of it than someone off the street. I use it for my lessons now." said Ben with a smile.

"Does it still smell the same?" I asked.

"No matter how hard I try, it smells the same. It's like Gloria's perfume is imbued into the walls and the floor of her office." said Ben with a hearty laugh.

"Hey, I happen to like that smell. I would never wear it but I like it." I said mock scolding him.

"Yes but how is anyone supposed to take me seriously when it smells like an old lady in my office?" He countered.

I laughed at the picture I got of Ben in a meeting with someone in Gloria's perfume smelling office. Come on picture a huge, scary black man in an office that smelled like old lady flowery perfume and tell me you don't find that at least a little funny.

I stayed at the music store for about an hour longer then I figured I should go home before Lily got worried. On my walk back to her apartment I thought back to my big recital.

I knew there were representatives from Julliard in the audience. This was my big chance to get out of this small town. Lily and Adam had applied for college in New York so the three of us could be together. They were going to go to the same school for convenience sake.

I was so happy and grateful that my best friend and boyfriend had agreed to go to school with me so I didn't have to be in a big city all by myself.

I was sitting in the hall of Gloria's studio. It's where they held recitals like this. The feel of where the skinny floor boards had warped from the weather were a calming familiar feel under my hands. I could smell Gloria's perfume coming from somewhere but I couldn't place where.

Ben's hand written sheet music sat on the floor next to me. I studied his handwriting and how he made his "i's". He simply named it Sammie's Song. He said he wrote it when he was drafting the song and when he was done, he didn't have the heart to change it. The title fit the song too perfectly.

I couldn't hold back the flood dam of pressure everyone was putting on me for much longer. I hope they call my name soon.

"Samantha Daven?" said a female voice that was unfamiliar to me.

Kind of perfect timing don't you think.

I stood and bent down to pick up my sheet music when I noticed my hands were shaking, a lot. Okay deep breaths. You're going to be fine. You're going to go on the stage like you've done a million times and you'll be okay. It's just going to be you in that room.

I followed the woman into the left wing of the stage. I could hear the piano playing from behind the curtain and they were good. I felt my confidence get knocked down a peg. Then when they finished, the entire audience applauded. Well I guess pretending you're alone in there isn't going to work now.

All I could think was that I really wish Gloria was back stage. She gives the best pep talks. She could get me over this mild bout of stage fright. It's not like my entire future depended on my performance tonight.

Oh god my entire future is depending on my performance tonight. What if I hit a wrong key? My hands are shaking pretty badly, it could happen. What if I forget a line? I mean I have the sheet music but once I start playing and getting into a song I close my eyes. What if I get out there and vomit all over the stage? Oh god I think I'm going to be sick.

"Are you ready?" asked the woman.

She sounded very far away and I could barely understand what she was saying let alone respond. I could feel my heart beating in my ears. My throat was closing up and my chest felt tight.

"Samantha, are you ready?" she asked again sounding even farther away.

My breathing was very shallow and if I didn't do something quick I was going to start hyperventilating.

"Sam, if you don't go on, you'll be disqualified." She said and all I saw was her lips moving.

I understood what she had said but I couldn't get my feet to move. It was like they were cemented to the floor. Then black spots started to cloud my vision. Before she could say anything else I fainted.

The next thing I remember is waking up to Gloria, Ben, my parents, Ian, Lily and Adam all looking over me. I felt my heart sink and I knew I was never going to get in to my dream school.

I clung to Lily and cried into her shirt. New York was just not in to cards for us I guess. Adam rubbed my back while I sobbed. My parents hugged each other. Ian just sat there dumbfounded.

For as long as I could remember, I wanted music to be my career and up until that point, it was going to be. You could say that all of us were heartbroken.

I spent the next week in bed. Lily and Adam tried to come over but I wouldn't see them. I felt ashamed. I didn't even play all week. I had decided I was never going to play again. A bit melodramatic, I know, but my dream was crushed.

Eventually, Ian couldn't stand me being holed up in my room and he tried to drag me out but I wouldn't go willingly. In the end her threw me over his shoulder and then sat me in front of the piano.

"Sammie, I know you're sad and disappointed but you can't live like this anymore. I want my sister back. You have never gone this long without playing the piano. Just play me something." He said pleading with me.

"No." I whispered.

Ian's patience was short. He lifted up the fall board.

"Play."

"No."

"I swear to God Sammie, play." He said picking my hand up and putting them on the keys hard enough to push the keys down making a horrible noise. "Please."

With that I couldn't hold back anymore. I started to play and it felt good. It felt good to just play because I loved the sound and the way the music made me feel as opposed to the constant practicing I had been doing recently.

I still went to lessons the rest of my senior year but I stayed out of the spot light. I didn't participate in that year's studio recital. I refused to do Gloria's showcase where she picks her best students to play in order to get people to send their kids to her. I wouldn't even help her teach the class I had told her I would help with because I just didn't want to play in front of anyone.

I made my way up the stairs to Lily's apartment. I will never get used to the amount of stairs. When I went in I found Lily on the couch watching reruns of _What Not To Wear_ and stuffing her face with popcorn. I had to laugh at the image.

I joined her on the couch and she changed it to some show I didn't even know the name of and she handed me the popcorn bowl. We stayed like this all night. Not really talking at all. Just sitting and watching TV.

Around three am Lily decided to go to bed but I couldn't sleep. I decided to call Dan. Yes I know, I am a horrible friend waking him up at eight am. I dialed his number before I could talk myself out of it. It rang twice before he answered.

"Hello?"

"Hey Dan."

"Oh Sammie." said a half asleep sounding Dan.

"Sorry to call you so early, I just couldn't sleep." I explained.

"No it's okay. Wait isn't it like three am there?" he asked.

"Yeah kind of."

"What's wrong?"

"Why would you think something is wrong?"

"Sam… You can't sleep. What's wrong?"

"Nothing, just I ran into some girls that I graduated with today. One of them has a kid and is pregnant again and the other is getting married. I just kind feel weird." I said flat out lying about what was really bothering me.

I couldn't tell him about the music thing because he didn't know I could play.

"If anything, you should consider yourself lucky. I've seen you with Darcy and you are not ready to have a kid yet." said Dan.

"Hey, Darcy loves me. Sometimes." I said causing Dan to laugh. "Yeah I know I'm not ready but I just kind of feel like my life isn't moving forward like everyone else around me."

"If it makes you feel better, I think you're at a good place. You have a job, a place to live, somewhat of a social life." said Dan causing me to laugh this time.

"Can I just come home now? I don't want to see all of the people I left here that I didn't want to see." I said lying down on the couch.

"You book the flight and I'll meet you at the airport." said Dan with what sounded like a smirk in his voice.

"You really do need to go to sleep Sammie." said Dan after a few minutes of silence where I had had my eyes closed.

"Will you stay on the phone with me until I fall asleep?" I asked sounding like a little kid that wanted one of their parents to sleep with them.

"Of course I will." He replied.

"I feel kind of home sick." I said my voice getting softer as sleep started taking me over.

"Well home is here whenever you want to come back." said Dan.

That was the last thing I heard before drifting off to sleep.

 **Just a few more chapters and Sam will be home with Dan and Phil. I'm really excited for you to read the next chapters I have in store for you. See you all on Thursday.**


	22. Chapter 21

**Thanks to Ssgcp, AmazingRrrachel, Romanow, Yukigirl x4, Amazingfire24 for reviewing.**

 **Chapter 21: Sammie and Alcohol, Not a Good Combo**

Going home was a bad idea. It just brings back all the memories, the bad ones. I knew I should have never let the memory of that recital in. Now every mistake I've had ever made was flooding back to me. I'm like one giant cringe attack.

Lily and I slept in until noon. I woke up in almost the same position as I did when I fell asleep, with my phone sticking to my face. All day I just kept bringing up old memories that I just wanted to forget. Even Lily's attempt to distract me with _Cupcake Wars_ was non-effective.

"Okay I need to get ready for work and you need to get ready to hang out with your brother." said Lily around three.

"I don't wanna move." I said from my upside down position on the couch.

"If you don't get up right now, I will put my foot on your face." said Lily threateningly.

"Your feet don't bother me remember?" I replied smugly.

"They will if I stick it in your mouth." Lily said with a smirk.

I sat up quickly trying and failing to suppress the disgusted shiver the thought of feet gave me. Lily just laughed at my new enthusiasm at moving.

Neither Lily nor Ian would tell me what Ian had in store for me tonight. The only hint I got was that Ian was picking me up the same time Lily left for work. I've always hated surprises and they both know that.

Lily got in the shower and I stood in front of my suitcase trying to figure out what to wear. I don't even know where we're going so it's not like I can dress appropriately on my own. I sat on the bed and waited for Lily to come out and tell me what to wear.

A few seconds after sitting down, I got a text. It was from Dan.

I opened it to find a picture of him giving me those puppy eyes and in the background the kitchen was a disaster. The message that went with it was:

 _Phil is going through pancake withdrawals. Please come home and make them for us._ _L_

 _Nope sorry. No flights available._ I sent with a picture of me shrugging my shoulders and apologetically smirking.

It wasn't long before I heard the water shut off. Lily walked out and just kind of gave me a look.

"Why aren't you dressed yet?" she asked.

I looked at her puzzled.

"These are for you." She said.

"Oh… I thought they were what you planned on wearing." I said not even thinking to notice the clothes on the bed next to me.

I started to get dressed before Lily's face got stuck in a permanent frown. Then again if it did she wouldn't be so amazingly beautiful and I would… nope never mind, I don't want attention from guys.

I was putting on a pair of amazing jean shorts that were definitely not mine although after tonight they might be, when my phone vibrated again. I knew it was Dan so I didn't feel that bad ignoring it for now.

Next was a fitted, curve hugging, white t-shirt that had really short sleeves. This was mine. Over that was a sheer black shirt that buttoned up in the front. It had cuffs that buttoned like a man's dress shirt but it fit me perfectly.

The arms were baggy but the shirt was supposed to be flowy and with it unbuttoned the hem of the shirt was just long enough to hit the skin on the back of my legs but Lily had me tuck the back into my shorts. Something about showing off my butt.

This shirt was not mine either but after seeing what I looked like in it, after tonight it might me. For shoes, Lily threw a pair of knee high boots and my black sandals at me and told me to pick one.

On one foot I put my sandal on and the other a boot. I was leaning more towards the sandals because the boots might be too hot, but in the end neither choice was what I really wanted to wear. I ended up just going for my all black converse. Lily agreed that they were more "Sammie" than the other two choices.

Once I was finished getting dressed, I opened the text from Dan.

 _You didn't even have time to check._ He said accompanied with a picture of him frowning.

I put on a grin so wide it made my eyes close then took a picture and that's all I sent to him.

"So do you know what you wanna do with your hair?" Lily asked.

Fuuuck.

Lily ended up curling my hair making it look like beachy waves and doing my makeup while Dan and I sent pictures back and forth. I received one of Phil mid sneeze which caused me to laugh violently and that in turn caused Lily to poke me in the eye with eyeliner from laughing so hard. Lily just gave me an annoyed look.

I got him back with a picture I accidentally took of my reaction to min-sneeze Phil. It had an amazing angle of my chin and Lily's. I received a grossed out face and a message of ow as a reply.

I sat on the couch while Lily finished getting ready. When she came out to the living room, I took in her outfit.

Lily was wearing jean shorts and I could have sworn they were identical to the ones I currently had on. Along with classic converse, and a light blue, wide strap tank top. Her makeup was almost identical to mine as well but she pulled it off better. Her hair was pulled up into a ponytail.

Wait, where could Lily work dressed like that at six at night?

"Lily, where do you work?"

"We have to go, I'll tell you later." said Lily grabbing her keys and wallet.

"But Ian isn't here yet." I said.

"Yeah he is. He's in the car waiting. I just got a text." Lily said making her way to the door.

I followed her out and my brother was in fact sitting in his car in the space next to Lily's. I made my way to him and climbed in. I attempted to be somewhat graceful and that was my first mistake.

Instead of getting into the car as planned, I wacked my head off the roof of the car as I was going to sit.

"Owww." I said grabbing on to my head where I had hit it on the roof of the car.

"Well now I definitely know you're my sister." said Ian.

I just had a puzzled look on my face.

"For a second I didn't know you were you. You look different. Did Lily do your makeup?" he asked.

I nodded.

"Ah that would explain it." He smirked.

"How do you know how Lily does her makeup?" I asked confused.

"She was over a lot since the breakup." He replied.

I was still confused as to how he could have known that Lily did my makeup but I just figured it was because of how hard I had hit my head. I must have killed a few brain cells.

Once I was buckled and safely in the car, Ian took off. Thankfully I didn't close my leg in the door… touch wood, TOUCH WOOD.

"What the Hell is touch wood?" Ian asked.

"Did I say that out loud?" I said questioningly.

Ian nodded.

"You know how people say knock on wood, the British version is touch wood." I explained.

"I swear you're more British and you are American now." said Ian.

It didn't sound like it was a sarcastic comment but it didn't sound like just a statement either.

"Ian, I've been there for four years. Some of the mannerisms are bound to rub off on me." I said catching on to the odd tone in my brother's voice.

Ian didn't say anything.

The car was silent for about a minute when my phone audibly vibrated signal that I got a text. I didn't know if I should answer it or not because I had a feeling it was Dan. Another minute of silence passed and I decided that Ian wasn't going to start a conversation anytime soon and I couldn't bear to think about what my brother had in store for me, so I opened the text.

This picture was different than to silly ones we had been sending back and forth. In this picture Dan still had his Yeezus shirt on but now you could see where his sweats were sliding down his hips. Dan was making a face in the mirror similar to the one he normally makes in selfies that he posts.

The message said: _Do you think this is a good picture to post to twitter showing that I got a haircut?_

I could feel my heart fluttering in my chest.

 _No, don't post it. I think you should take a different one._ I sent after saving the picture to my phone like I did with the rest he had sent me, but I saved this one for a different reason than I saved the others.

If Dan posted that picture, I was sure that more than just me would have fluttery hearts.

When I looked up, Ian was pulling into one of our favorite restaurants. The Fortune Fountain had the best Chinese food within fifty miles. Once a month, Lily and I used to have a girls day and go here to eat when we were in college together four years ago.

Ian parked and turned off the car.

"Surprise?" I asked.

Ian shook his head. "Only half of it."

I had to hold myself back from rolling my eyes so hard that they popped out of my head. I climbed out of the car before Ian had even unbuckled his seatbelt, and started up the stairs. Ian ran to catch up to me.

"Look," said Ian holding the door to the restaurant closed. "I know you hate surprises but you won't have any extra attention, and… just play along. Lily worked really hard on planning this all out. I honestly don't know what her half is but this is mine and I plan to have a good fucking time so stop acting mopey and put a smile on your face. Even if it isn't as genuine as I would like."

"Okay." I said replacing my frown with as genuine of a smile as I could muster.

Ian opened the door and we walked up to the hostess podium.

"Hey Ian, how are you?" the hostess asked.

She looked Ian up and down like she was buying a car or picking out a steak and then her attention turned to me. The hostess looked me up and down as well but more like competition.

I found this girls reaction to be hilarious. She had no clue Ian was my brother. I looked over at Ian and this is when I noticed what he was wearing. He had on just sneakers and jeans and a t-shirt that showed off his arms. No wonder the girl was checking him out.

I almost snorted out loud at the thought that ran through my mind. Ian looked like the all-American boy he was in high school but an older and less awkward version. The hostess has the hots for my brother. I had to concentrate really hard on trying to keep a straight face.

Then recognition flashed across her face.

"Sam? Is that you? It's been a while. I heard you ran away with some boy." She said.

Ah the rumor mill has gotten to her.

"Nope, went abroad to study but liked it so much I couldn't leave." I said not feeling like elaborating

She led us over to a booth and another girl came and asked us what they wanted to drink. I told her a Shirley Temple which the girl completely ignored and just kept looking at Ian. He looked up when he didn't hear the girls' pen scratching on the paper.

"I think she just told you what she wanted." said Ian to the girl who looked startled at what he said.

"Sorry, what did you say you wanted?" said the girl looking over at me.

I repeated myself and then the girl turned to Ian again.

"Regular Pepsi." He said still looking down at the menu.

I again had to hold back laughter at the look the girl sported on her face as she walked away.

"She was cute." I said barely managing to hold in my laughter.

Ian just looked up at me and gave me a "yeah right" look.

"Okay well I have to pee so I'll be right back." I said going to stand.

"You better be back before that girl comes back or I swear to god." said Ian grabbing my arm as I walked past him.

"Maybe." I said with a smirk and a shrug.

Once in the bathroom, I went and looked at myself in the mirror. Lily had curled my hair and put about fifteen braids randomly though my hair. It looked cool. The braid that was in my blond strip had been chalked so it was purple and blue. She said it made me look edgy but I just kind of felt like a mermaid.

I felt my phone vibrate in my pocket again. I pulled it out and opened it to a picture of Dan and Phil who both had flour in their hair and sad faces.

The message said: _Attempt two of Mission Pancake was a bigger fail than attempt one. Must call in reinforcements. Or you could just give us the recipe. P.s. Cleaning the mess is much harder than making it._

I laughed then lifted the phone and took a picture of myself in the full length mirror they had beside the sink and sent it to Dan.

 _I would much rather be cleaning that mess than find out the surprise Lily has in store for me tonight. I'm scared…_

I decided it was time to go back to the table to save my brother from anymore flirting attempts.

"Took you long enough. Almost as soon as you left the girl came over and asked for my number. I had to politely tell her no thank you but for some reason I don't think she's going to take no for an answer." said Ian once I had slid back into my spot across from him in the booth.

"Well she's cute. You should have given her your number." I said with a smirk.

"I swear to god, if you leave me again, I'm going to tell Lily how you've changed your mind and that you love surprises." said Ian.

"You know she won't believe that. She knows me too well." I retorted.

"Fine, then I'll take apart the piano." He said taking a sip of his drink.

My face paled. I didn't believe that he would actually do that but then again I wasn't going to take any chances.

"Fine, if I have to pee I'll just pee myself." I said sarcastically.

"So what are we going to be ordering tonight?" said a voice.

We both looked up to see that the girl was back and once again, only looking at Ian.

"You go first Sam." said Ian looking down at the menu so as to not look at the girl.

"I'll have the Chicken Low Mein with fried rice and an egg roll. Oh Ian can we get a side order of crab rangoons?" I asked Ian.

"Yeah I guess. I'll have the Szechuan Spicy Chicken with fried rice and an egg roll. With a side order of crab rangoons and chicken wings. Oh and can you give us two small plates?" Ian asked.

"Sure. They'll come out with the food. Is that all?" said the girl again only looking at Ian.

"No, were good." I said so Ian didn't have to look up.

The girl stayed a few seconds just looking at Ian before she collected the menus and left without looking at either of us.

"So how are you doing?" I asked.

There was something that I had been meaning to talk to Ian about ever since I arrived in the country but I could never find a good time to talk about. It's not like I could call him up and say hey how are you coping with your mental breakdown caused by your psycho ex-girlfriend breaking up with you? No, now was a better time than any.

"Fine. Why?" said Ian not making eye contact.

"Ian I know about Alexia." I said.

Lily was right, at the mention of her name, he got a sad, far off look in his eyes. It really was heartbreaking.

"Ian talk to me, please." I pleaded.

"Look, I don't want to talk about it. I've been over this with Lily a hundred times. I'm over it. She is a distant memory. It's over and that's all I'm going to say." said Ian.

"Bean,"

"No. Don't "Bean" me. I hate that nickname by the way." said Ian.

"I know what unrequited love feels like. Stop feeling sorry for yourself and let the people who love you, help you. Lily and I just want to help you." I said pleadingly.

Ian took a deep breath and when he looked up, I could have almost sworn there were tears in his eyes but when he blinked they were gone.

"She was getting more distant. I knew something was up but I ignored it. I thought that if I asked her to marry me, whatever was going on with her would stop. I didn't even get the chance. I know you never liked her and now I know why. She was so cold when she said she was leaving. She said that she never loved me. Either she was a really good actress or she was lying. I really hope she was lying because at points in our relationship, I really thought she loved me. Does it make me an idiot to believe that she actually loved me?" Ian said.

I could see the deep hurt in his eyes and it made me want to find her and make her pay for what she has done to my brother. Ian had always been the strong one. When our Nana died, I was the hysterical one and I didn't see him shed a single tear.

"I don't understand why she would have done something like this." I said shaking my head.

I ignored his question because I didn't know what to say.

"Neither do I, I'm not even really sure I wanted to marry her in the first place. She didn't really seem like my type now that I really think about it." said Ian.

"No not really." I said with a small smile.

Ian returned the smile.

This is when the food arrived. The girl set our plates down along with the rest of the food and the spare plate. Just as he and I have always done, we split half of the food on our plates and then swapped. On my plate was half of Ian's chicken, and Ian's was half of my noodles.

We were plunged into silence while we ate. About half way through our meal, we surfaced from stuffing our mouths.

"So, what's going on with you and Dan?" Ian asked catching me off guard.

"I-I don't know what you're talking about."

"Oh come on, I heard you and Lily on the phone the other day. I know you have feelings for him. Let the people who love you, help you Sammie." said Ian.

I resented the fact that he was using my own words against me.

"You bastard."

"Sammie, is my little sister in love?" said Ian in a taunting baby voice.

"I hate you." I could feel my face growing red.

Ian just smirked at me.

"Okay, it's been an ongoing thing. I just kind of have a crush on him. It just makes it hard to be around." I said barely above a whisper.

"Have you told him yet?" He asked.

"Of course not. I'm not his type." Sam explained.

"Well that was a little harsh don't you think." said Ian taken aback at my comment. "You could be anybody's type. I've seen some of his videos. I hate to admit it but you two would make a cute couple."

"Ian," I said with my hand on my chest in shock. "Did I just hear you give your blessing for me to date someone?"

"No I just said you would be cute together." said Ian with a smirk.

"Tell the truth, you only looked at the videos to check him out and make sure he wasn't a douche, right?" I asked with a knowing smirk.

Ian just smiled back and dug back in to his food. We ended up taking half of our food with us because we couldn't finish it all.

"Ian where are we going?" I asked after about five minutes into the drive.

"I can't tell you until we get there." Ian replied.

I sighed dramatically and looked out at the window. About a minute later Ian took a sharp turn making my head hit the window.

"Owww." I said while holding my forehead, slightly annoyed.

"Sorry, I almost missed the turn." said Ian with an apologetic smile.

I looked around at where Ian had parked.

"Ian, why are we at a bar?" I asked.

I had no clue why my brother had taken me to a bar.

"Is this supposed to be part of the surprise?" I asked again.

"This is Lily's part of the surprise." said Ian.

"I thought Lily was supposed to be at work." I said.

"She is." Ian said getting out of the car.

I didn't want to get out of the car. The last time I had gone to a bar it had ended badly. We won't go into details but after that night I saw enough of the inside of the toilet to last a lifetime. I said I was never going to drink again. Then peer pressure makes you do things you don't really want to. That just made me even more hesitant to go into the bar.

"Come on. You're not going to let me go in there all alone are you?" Ian asked.

My resistance broke almost instantly. Maybe only one would be okay.

I got out of the car and followed my brother into the bar.

 **Ian POV**

This bar is exactly what you would think. Dark and packed with college kids and local townies. The smell brought back memories of my college days before I went to get my Master's degree.

I led Sam up to the bar and waited for the bartender to come over. Sam was looking around so when the bar tender came over, she didn't see her.

"Sammie, what are you having to drink?" said a familiar voice.

Sam turned toward the bar and was shocked at the sight in front of her.

"Lily?"

"Yeah, are you going to order something?"

"Screwdriver." said a very shocked Sam.

"Okay a rum and coke and a screwdriver." said Lily already knowing what I would order.

Sam watched in amazement as Lily made the drinks while throwing in some fancy moves.

"Here are your drinks and close your mouth. You might catch some flies." Lily said to Sammie.

"You're a bartender? You don't even like alcohol." said Sammie.

"I don't have to like alcohol to make it." Lily countered.

I could tell Sam was shocked. Lily had always had jobs around children. Babysitting most of the neighbor's kids, subbing at daycares, she was even going to school to be a preschool teacher. After this year she will only be two semester away from completing her masters. Even I had been shocked when I brought "The Skank" as Lily now calls her, herr one night and saw Lily behind the bar. This was Lily's surprise for Sam. Lily the bartender.

Sam took her drink off the counter and lifted it to her mouth and took a good haul off it.

"Oh God! Oh God! I forgot to stir it. I forgot to stir it!" Sam said making a disgusted face.

Lily and I both laughed hysterically. It felt good to laugh like this.

"I thought alcohol was supposed to taste better as you got older." Sam said.

"Nope." said Lily popping the "p". "I just saw Kristi over there. You should go say hi."

"Oh I'll be right back." said Sam wandering off.

"Okay so the goal is to get her drunk as possible." Lily said to me as soon as Sam was out of ear shot.

"Wouldn't that make me a bad brother?" I asked.

Lily just shrugged her shoulders giving me a sly grin.

I sat at the bar slowly drinking my drink. I was pacing myself. Sam and I were stuck here until Lily got off work so she could drive us home.

I watched as the bar filled even more with college students and townies. Sam wandered back over for another Screwdriver at about the same time I ordered my second drink. Looks like someone else is pacing themselves too. Then the music started.

Sam wanted to dance but I was never much of a dancer. That and I knew that when I stood up, the alcohol would hit me.

When Sam was on her third drink, she refused to take no for an answer and pulled me on to the dance floor. Not only did the alcohol hit me but so did the need to pee. When I got back from the bathroom, Sammie was nowhere to be seen.

I made my way back to the bar where I found Sammie ordering yet another drink. Seeing as I set mine down somewhere I figured I'd order one too. Sam wanted me to dance again but this time I said no.

Sam went back to the group of her friends on the dance floor. Once you get some alcohol in her, she is much more outgoing.

"Ian, you need another drink?" Lily asked coming over as I was finishing my drink.

"No, I'm good." I said.

Lily replied by setting another rum and coke in front of me and walking away.

I chuckled to myself and took a sip. My eyes wandered around the bar. First they landed at the pool table. I thought I saw a guy I graduated from high school with but I decided as soon as I sat down, I wasn't going to be standing until it was time to leave.

Next I saw a couple sitting in the corner that "The Skank" and I used to sit in. I pushed the memory away before I thought about it too much. I may not have really wanted to marry her but six years with someone is a long time and suddenly not being with them anymore is kind of a shock.

I continued scanning the crowd and I saw Sammie. Her group of friends was getting her to do a shot. Looks like her friends are doing my job for me. At least I don't have to take care of her tomorrow. Lily is going to have so much fun.

Then something caught my eye it was Lily. She had been so good to me recently what with the proposal and the breakup and everything. She had done my laundry and even taught me to do it. She is so nice and she made me feel so much better about everything and she pulled me out of my funk and got me to go out and she's so great and she's really pretty. No! Bad brain! Little sisters best friend is off limits! No!

I quickly turned and watched the crowd looking for someone I may know. Nope, no one.

Later on in the night, Lily came out from behind the bar and started playing guitar with the band for karaoke. Sammie wandered over to me soon after that.

"Since when d-did Li-lily do the um, play the, play in the… up there?" Sam said

She looked like she had to concentrate way too hard to get that sentence out. Maybe I should cut her off… nah. Then one of Sammie's friend form the group came over.

"Come on Sam, Jenn is going to do karaoke. Let's go and laugh at her."

Sammie waved at me while she was being pulled away by her friend.

When they took their break, Lily came over to me phone in hand.

"Hey I just put Sammie down for karaoke. I need you to do something for me." said Lily handing me her phone.

"I need you to take a video of her." She said smiling widely and her cheeks still red from the adrenalin of being on stage.

"Okay." I said while I was just thinking about how pretty Lily was. Jesus Christ! Bad brain. Why do you have to do this to me? You are never getting alcohol again. .

Lily then went off to find Sammie and a few minutes later she was dragging her on to the stage and shoved microphone in her hands. The music started to play and I hit record on Lily's phone.

At the end, Sammie attempted to pull some sort of cool move and then just kind of fell over off the two foot high platform they use as a stage. I stopped the recording and rushed over to see if Sammie was okay.

"I dun wanna gedup." Slurred a very drunk Sammie.

I ended up lifting her and carrying her out to the car.

I ran, more like walked as fast as I could without tripping on my feet, back in to see when Lily got off and ended up bumping into her at the door.

"I asked my boss is I could leave to bring you home." said Lily answering the look on my face. "You just have to drive me here so I can pick up my car tomorrow."

 **asdfghjkl**

Phil was having trouble sleeping so he decided to get up and watch a movie or something. When he walked by Dan's room he noticed Dan wasn't in there. He figured he was just in the lounge but when Phil got there, Dan was nowhere to be seen. He figured Dan was in the bathroom but after waiting ten minutes and Dan never coming up he wondered if something was wrong.

Phil went down the stairs but when he got there it was dark and the door was open. He then made his way to the gaming room thinking Dan was up there playing Guild Wars 2. Phil made his was up to the gaming room but when he opened the door, still no Dan. The only place Phil could think of was… Sam's room.

He went out of the gaming room and turned to her room. The door was ajar so he pushed it opened and what he saw just made him shake his head.

"Dan, what are you doing is Sam's bedroom?" said Phil walking over to Sam's bed shaking a sleeping Dan.

"I miss Sam." replied a sleepy Dan.

"You need to pull yourself together or just tell her already." said Phil a little exasperated.

"I can't. She doesn't like me back. It would just make things more awkward than they already are. Everyone's awkward level would be intensified." said Dan with his voice muffled by Sam's pillow.

Phil rolled his eyes and bit his tongue so he wouldn't blurt anything out. It's not his place. It'll happen eventually.

"At least get off her bed. Your being kind of weird." said Phil leaving the room.

"But it smells like her." said Dan quietly to Phil's back.

Dan lifted his phone that he still had in his hand and opened up the Pyramid Song video. The music started and he watched as Sam's hands moved on the piano and the way she kept her eyes closed while she sang. If anything this video made him like her even more.

Phil's words started to sink in. He was being kind of weird. He really needed to leave her room but before he left, he grabbed one of her black throw pillows that she had piled in the corner. Once in his room he cuddled with the pillow and started scrolling on his phone when a text came through.

It was from a number he didn't recognize but when he opened it he knew who it was.

 _Hey this is Lily. I hope you don't mind but I stole your number. I have a video for you and I don't want Sam to know I'm sending it to you so I figured this would be easier._

Then another text came through. When he opened it, it was a video. The video started to play and he heard the song and couldn't help but smile. It looked like they had gotten Sam to do karaoke and she definitely seemed to be a little drunk.

Sam was singing I like Big Butts so she was probably shitfaced, especially if the slurring while singing was anything to go by. Then the chorus came.

"I like big butts and I cannot lie." said Sam flipping her hair back and forth and making the motion of slapping someone's butt.

Dan tried to muffle his laughter with his hand.

"Those other brothers can't deny. When a girl walks in with an itty bitty waist and a round thing in your face you get sprung." She continued to sing.

When she got the they lyrics "itty bitty waist" she put her hand on her hip and did a wiggle then jumped so her back was to the crowd and when she sang "round thing in your face" she wiggled her butt.

Dan now had tears streaming down his face while he still trying to muffle his laughter unsuccessfully.

Then at the end she tried to strike a pose but she lost her balance. Almost as if in slow motion, she fell sideways not even attempting to save herself.

There was a loud bang on the wall meaning Phil had thrown something.

"Shut up, I'm trying to sleep." he yelled through the wall.

Dan was howling with laughter and tried stuffing the corner of Sam's pillow in his mouth the stifle the sound while using another corner to wipe away the tears.

"Ow, my nonexistent ads." said Dan when the laughter had finally slowed.

There had seemed to be a lot of people where ever she was and knowing Sam, it either took a lot convincing or a large amount of alcohol. Probably the second option if the video was any indication.

When the song was done, Dan saved Lily's number. He had a feeling that he would getting some other videos from her soon.

 **So as Romanow predicted, I have a clip of Dan and Phil back in London. As you can see Dan isn't coping very well. I think it's only three more chapters until Sam is back in London. I'm definitely** **excited about that. See you Monday.**

 **P.s. Monday is the last Monday of the month so after that I'm going back to posting once a week. I'm sorry if any o you go through withdrawals. Who knows, maybe if I end up having stocked up on chapters I may do this again. No promises.**


	23. Chapter 22

**Romanow- I just want to clarify something, I am not adding in your requests, they are already there. I've had these chapters written for about a month in advance with these scenes already there. I didn't add anything. You're really starting to freak me out. This is the second time(there are more, I'm too lazy to count them all) you have accurately predicted what is going to happen in a future chapter. You are scaring me. Stop reading my mind! (this doesn't mean I want you to stop reviewing. I actually find this kind of funny but still creepy)**

 **Thank you to Ssgcp and Danisnotonfire's Twin Sister for reviewing and not correctly predicting what's to come in future chapters.**

 **Chapter 22: The Dragons Descent Incident**

I had a major hangover on Thursday. I didn't puke or anything but I was definitely holed up in Lily's room all day. She forced a bagel on me around noon. I may or may not have put half of it in the trash when she wasn't looking.

"So why do you work in a bar?" I asked as Lily sat next to me.

"It was convenient and it was the first one I got accepted for. I make quite a bit from tips so I figure it's better than working at McDonalds."

After our conversation, Lily tried to drown me. She literally poured water into my mouth when I told her I didn't want anything to drink. After that I willingly drank the water.

Friday was spent packing for Funtown. Ian borrowed a camper from someone he knew, so we were going to camp at a random camp ground between Funtown and Old Orchard Beach. Lily and I really wanted to go to the beach and there was the Maine mall not far and Lily needed bras. The downside of being well-endowed is that you need to go to Victoria's Secret in order to get a bra that fits. Thank god I don't have that problem.

We had to get up at 5am for the two hour drive to check in to the campground. Then we had to just chill until the park opened at ten. We ended up going to IHOP. Lily and Ian ordered pancakes but I couldn't do it I just ordered eggs and bacon. I did however take a picture of Lily's pancakes and sent the picture to Phil.

I got back an "IHATEYOU". Orange juice came out of my nose.

"The burn! Oh the burn!" I said causing everyone in the restaurant to look at me.

I then sunk down in the booth and refused to come back up until everyone that saw me left. We ended up staying at IHOP longer than we intended to but we had gotten caught up in conversation.

We had to stand in line for what felt like forever but it was worth it because today was going to be fun. Whether it was actually going to be fun for me or not as Lily said before going into the park. I'm not all that big on rides.

Lily was forcing me on to all of the rides and we absolutely had to go and do all if the water slides on the Splashtown side. Even the Twister which I had a feeling that I was going to fall out the open side of the cone. The last time I was on it we got so close to the edge that I cried. In actuality we were probably like twenty feet from the edge but I don't want to talk about it.

We hit up all of the rides. Even though I don't like rides, I was glad that they made me go them. It would have been boring if they left me to wait for them while they went on the rides.

Around noon we changed into our bathing suits and got in one of the pools to start out with. There were a bunch of really obnoxious guys that kept catcalling and whistling to Lily when we got in and out of the pool.

"Hey baby I can make you wetter than that pool." said the shortest one who acted as the gang leader.

He was like six inches shorter than me.

I hid my face in my hands and slowly sank into the water. I was seriously contemplating drowning myself. Jeez I wish Dan was here he would protect me. Scratch that, he would probably just laugh.

We tried to ignore them but when Ian noticed them he got out of the pool.

They didn't see him coming so when Ian blocked their view of Lily and I they were taken aback. Ian was a head taller than all three of the guys and the short on only came up to his pecks.

"Leave my sisters alone. They aren't interested and they never will be." said Ian in a scary voice.

Ian wouldn't have been so intimidating if he hadn't have been going to the gym every day for the last year, but because of Ian's new found muscles and the height he had on these guys, they tucked tail and ran.

"The little one looked like a scared Chihuahua." Lily said in my ear.

Lily and I couldn't help but giggle at their quick retreat coupled with Lily's comment. When Ian got back into the pool with us, we let him in on the joke and he joined in on the laughter.

"Okay, I didn't know I was that scary but I guess they won't be bothering us anymore." Ian said.

Lily seemed a little off but I think it was because Ian called her his sister. Lily and Ian sitting in a tree k-i-s-s… okay, I'm a five year old. At least I didn't say that out loud…

We got out of the pool and decided to do some of the water slides. While walking around trying to decide what to go on first, Lily was insisting on The Twister, I heard a familiar voice. When I turned around I saw where it was coming from. A strawberry blond girl in a black one piece came running toward me.

"Sam!" said the girl barely managing to stop before running into me.

"Violet? I can't believe I'm seeing you here." I said slightly surprised.

"I read your new post. You're really selling that lotion you wrote about. You should be getting paid. You're such a good writer." She said.

"Thank you. We need a fourth for the twister do you want to come with us? This is my friend Lily and my brother Ian by the way." I said pointing to the two.

"Yeah just let me ask my mom and then I'll be right back."

Violet ran off and a few minutes later she was back.

"My mom said yes. Let's go!" she said grabbing my hand and pulling me to the ride.

We had lots of fun hanging out with Violet. She and Lily forced us to go down every slide… twice.

When we go to the black slide I realized something. I can't got down dark tubes. I'm claustrophobic and the irrational fear of getting stuck halfway down the black tube was ever present.

Violet seemed to take quite well to Ian and Ian to her. We traveled from slide to slide with Lily on my back and violet on Ian's back. Lily would only give me one piggy back claiming she wasn't strong enough to carry me. I call bullshit.

Splashtown closed at six so the four of us changed out of our bathing suits and into our regular clothes.

Violet insisted that we all go on the Dragon's Descent which was the one ride I absolutely refused to go on when Lily tried to drag me on to it, but something about the look in Violet's eyes kept me from resisting. I wish I had never got on that ride.

I peed myself. I don't want to talk about it.

When we got off the ride, Violet came up to me.

"Wow I guess you really did need to pee." She said with a sweet smile.

I glared.

Violet thought it was hilarious while Lily grabbed her shorts and threw them to me. I ran to the bathroom with Lily not far behind me.

"Lily, I don't have underwear. What am I supposed to do?"

"Go commando."

I made everyone promise that this never happened and no one was ever to bring it up again. Lily named it the Dragon's Descent Incident. I hit her but she hit me back harder so I just glared at her. I'm so gonna get her back for this.

Ian was good about it and didn't say anything. He wet the bed until he was fifteen because of a reoccurring nightmare about clowns and I kept it a secret even from Lily so he wasn't going to say anything about it. He knew the embarrassment.

Violet or the other hand couldn't look at me without giggling but she swore to never tell a soul and I told her the next time she's in London, I'd introduce her to Dan and Phil. She wasn't coming back until the end of next school year so I figured I had time to figure out how to set that up.

I ended up having a very awkward walk back to the car. Something about not wearing underwear in public just felt wrong. I know no one knows unless I tell them but that doesn't make it any less awkward.

We met Violet's parents at the entrance. They seemed very nice. When Violet went to the car, her mom told me that she hadn't stopped talking about the girl she met on the plane since she got back from London. Apparently her parents knew who Dan and Phil were and she told them about my blog and how I had actually met them. Her mom actually started reading my blog. I was flattered but it was very awkward which increased the awkwardness of not wearing underwear.

Violet's dad was really nice too. He and Ian got on the topic of football and we lost them a few minutes into meeting them. Lily seemed quieter than usual but there are times when she is uncharacteristically quiet. Those are usually the moments when I am uncharacteristically not quiet.

The ride back to the camp ground was one of much Sammie teasing. Mostly about how every time we came out the end of a waterslide I got flipped off the float as soon as we hit water. That and the face plant I had when I was trying to get out of one of the pools. I luckily landed in the water and not on the cement.

When we got back to the camper we didn't do anything except go to bed. Lily and I got the big bed and Ian had to sleep on the pull out couch. He was always bad at Rock Paper Scissors. He picks rock every time.

The next day we decided on the beach instead of Funtown again. Lily and I laid out on in the sand and about every twenty minutes or so we would go into the water and cool down. I love the ocean. For some reason it's just so calming. I need to go and visit Zoe when I get back to London.

Ian got invited to play beach volleyball almost as soon as we got there. I caught Lily watching him more than once. She tried to pass it off as her checking out the other guys but none of them were attractive at all. Then again I don't find anyone attractive when I compare them to Dan.

I took a lot of pictures. I got a really cool one from under the pier. My taking pictures then turned into a photo shoot of me and Lily. My Instagram is going to look so cool with all of these new pictures.

Luckily nothing embarrassing or painful happened at the beach except for getting sand in uncomfortable places and what felt like molten sand under our feet. I somehow managed to escape drowning, sharks, and killer waves all in one trip to the beach.

The beach day was fun but I did end up turning a little pink so we had to leave before I turned into a lobster. Lily on the other hand turned a little more than pink. I felt bad for her because she was going to be trying on bras the next day and I could just imagine the pain of lacy things scraping across sunburnt skin.

The ride home from the beach was actually quite quiet. Lily and I had a very relaxing day and neither of us really felt like doing anything but be lazy the rest of the day.

I let Lily shower first. Ian and I decided on where we wanted to go for supper. The only thing we could agree on was pizza. We got three.

One BBQ chicken for Lily who is a weirdo although I like it too but I won't admit it to her because it's more fun to tease her. I got just cheese. Lily and Ian were sure to tease me about being boring but I didn't really care. Ian got meat lovers and there were bound to be lots of jokes about how Ian likes meat in his mouth.

Ian left to go and get the pizza and milkshakes around the same time Lily came out of the bathroom. I went in and took a quick shower. I just wanted to get the salt out of my hair and get the sand out of the places sand should never be.

There was a shower spider in the shower but it was little and it didn't move. That doesn't mean I didn't keep a very watchful eye on it. If it so much as twitched I was out. On the other hand, thankfully I didn't scream and no one had to see me naked.

Ian came back a little while after I got out of the shower. He brought in the three pizzas, three milkshakes; peanut butter for Lily, vanilla for me and chocolate for himself, and a few bottles of soda and a bag of ice for the cooler.

We ate in silence and none of the jokes I anticipated were actually used. Although usually they were. It seemed that no one wanted to break the silence. It wasn't uncomfortable but it was still odd. I think Lily is still a little sad that Ian thinks of her as a sister.

After eating Ian and Lily went for a walk. They invited me but I told them I was tired. I actually wanted to call Dan. He and I hadn't talked since Lily and Ian took me out. I was starting to worry that something was wrong.

The phone rang but was quickly sent to voicemail. He ignored my call. I waited a few minutes to see if he was going to text me and tell me why but nothing came. I called again. This time he picked up.

"What do you need Sam?" he didn't seem too happy to hear me.

Something in my chest tightened but I didn't let it show in my voice.

"I was just calling to check in. If you busy you could have just texted me after I called the first time." I said letting some of my anger in.

"I'm… in a meeting. Look I need to go. I'll call you later." He said and then hung up on me.

I sat on the end of the couch and pulled my knees into my chest. I frowned down at my phone. I don't like grumpy Dan.

I debated calling Phil but if Dan was in a meeting then it was likely Phil was too. I figured I could call and see. If he didn't answer I wouldn't call him again.

Phil picked up on the first ring.

"I thought you had died or something. You could have at least texted me."

"In a thirty-six hour span of time?" I asked.

"You never know. You could have been kidnapped or had a pancake overdose or a giant meteor could have killed you. Just text me more often." said Phil.

"Yes mom. How are things at home?" I asked.

"Boring. We miss you." said Phil.

"It didn't seem like Dan did when I called him a few minutes ago." I said not really meaning for Phil to hear it but he did anyway.

"What do you mean?" he asked.

"I just tried to call him and it rang twice and he ignored my call. So I waited a few minutes thinking that if he was busy he would text me and let me know or something but when he didn't I called again. When he answered he seemed very annoyed." I explained.

Phil sighed.

"You know what's going on with him, don't you." I said.

"Yes."

"But you can't tell me."

"Yeah."

"I wish you still sucked at keeping secrets." I said.

"Really because then Dan would know your secret." Phil replied.

I could hear the smile in his voice.

"Okay never mind. Continue on with you secret keeping ways." I laughed. "So what's Dan's meeting about?"

"What meeting?" Phil asked.

"The one Dan said he was in when I called." I said confused.

"Sam, Dan is in the gaming room. Plus its eleven pm here." said Phil.

"Idiot!" I exclaimed.

"Who? Me?" Phil asked.

"No, me. I forgot about the time difference."

There were a few minutes of silence between us while I tried to wrap my head around what was going on.

"Did I do something to make Dan mad that I don't know about?" I asked.

Phil sighed and my heart dropped.

"Dan has been in a permanent state of existential crisis since Thursday. If I knew what was going on in his head I would tell you but I have no clue… but it may have been something I said… about you." said Phil.

"What did you say to him?" I said, my mind instantly going to the worst. Phil telling Dan I like him. It would explain why Dan was attempting to ignore me. Then I remembered Phil had just basically said Dan didn't know about my stupid crush.

"I didn't tell him your secret but it's part of what I can't tell you. I'll talk to Dan and see what I can do but don't call him for a couple of days or at least until I know what's going on with him. Oh and just because you shouldn't call Dan doesn't mean you can't call me. I expect daily texts. It's boring here without you and your pancakes. And one more thing, don't send me pictures of pancakes. I hate you for that."

"Will you forgive me if I make you midnight pancakes when I get home?" I asked.

"Maybe." said Phil.

I knew that maybe was a yes.

"Okay, I'll talk to you later. Bye."

I hung up the phone but I didn't get up off the couch. Instead I wrapped my arms around my legs. What could Phil have said that would make Dan mad at me? Was Dan actually mad at me or just in a grumpy mood? Why do things between me and Dan have to be so complicated?

I stopped myself there. No I can't think about this. I need to do something to get my mind off it. I grabbed my headphones and my phone and headed for mine and Lily's bed. This was the only thing I could think to do. I set everything up and laid back on the bed. Before my head hit the pillow, music clouded my brain.

I pictured a black pool of water and the melodies and harmonies and beat were all fingers making ripples. I watched as one of the notes made zigzags across the water and how the beat was like a rain drop making a circular ripple effect. Her voice cut through the ripple and it was like the water was dancing.

Soon I was drifting off into dreamland where the picture of the water dancing grew more vivid and then changed altogether.

I don't know when Lily and Ian came back but I was asleep and neither of them woke me. Honestly I am glad for that. I slept until the next morning.

Monday morning was the day we were going to go home, but first we had some shopping to do. The people that we had to check in with said that the spot was free for the rest of the week so we paid a small fee so that we could leave the camper there and come back for it in the afternoon. The guy agreed and we were off to the mall

Shopping was actually quite successful. Lily bought two bras but she gave me her credit card and made me pay for them so she didn't have to think about how much she was spending on them. She made me promise not to tell her the total. It was over a hundred dollars but this was the only place that carried her size.

I went into a few stores and I found this really comfy gray chunky cable knit sweater in one store. I found a plain black long sleeve shirt and a few t-shirts at Brandy Melville. They were so soft and I wanted to buy them all but I settled for five of them. I got a gray long sleeve and the t-shirts were black, cream, and light gray. Ian grabbed the navy one I was about to put back. He saw how it pained me to be putting it back.

"I'll buy it for you. Think of it as an early birthday present." I shushed him when he said the dreaded "b" word.

Ian got stuck carrying all of the bags but he didn't complain. He actually seemed to be enjoying himself. Although I could have sworn that I saw him looking at Lily's butt. Does my brother have a crush on my best friend? Nah, he probably just thinks she has a nice butt. I mean lots of guys look at her so I wouldn't be surprised but it is kind of weird.

Around lunch time I went into the food court and grabbed something to eat. Ian and Lily went off and said they were looking for something specific that I didn't pay attention to. I decided on the Chinese food they had. It wasn't great but it was better than greasy pizza with extra grease.

When Ian and Lily came back, they got some food and then we headed to Bath and Bodyworks which is something they don't have in the UK and the website doesn't ship to the UK either. I could always have Lily ship it to me but I like to pick things out myself so I know what they smell like.

I ended up spending way too much on candles and lotion. I was going to have to have Lily send the package to me anyway. I bought four Eucalyptus Mint candles and four Mahogany Teakwood candles. Those were my absolute favorites and a few others that I thought smelled nice. When these candles are gone I'm going to have to have Lily pick some more up for me.

I was very thankful that Ian was carrying all of the bags because those candles were heavy and I knew I would probably end up dropping them.

We somehow managed to fit all of our shopping in the trunk of the car along with all three of our duffel bags. We had to play trunk tetris to get everything to fit but we did it. We climbed into the car proud of our packing skills and headed to get the camper.

Before leaving Portland, we stopped at a FedEx place so that we could send the candles to the flat in London. We had to do two boxes because it all in one exceeded the weight limit. I bought too many candles and I don't regret it one bit. I was preparing for fall and summer wasn't even over yet.

The car ride was a long one and we all took turns driving. Ian and Lily did the interstate driving and I did the back road driving. I was slightly out of practice because my car in London is for driving on the left side of the road where as this was for the right side. That and I haven't really driven much because I hate driving in London and I can just walk to work so I don't need it.

When we go home Lily had fallen asleep. Ian carried her up to the bed then he and I unloaded the shopping bags and mine and Lily's duffel bags. Once we were done I said goodbye to Ian and went into the apartment.

I grabbed my suitcase from Lily's room and started organizing it. I made a clean side and a dirty side and I made sure to keep all of my clothes in my case because I didn't want to leave anything here. It would be a pain in the ass for Lily to send it to London.

I added my new purchases into my case and then zipped it up and brought it back into Lily's room. I didn't want to wake Lily so I went and laid down on the couch. Both of us ended up sleeping though the night.

 **So today is the last Monday I post and on Thursday we go back to the regular schedule. I would post a chapter on Halloween, but it would feel wrong if it wasn't the Halloween chapter so...**

 **You may have noticed that some of my chapters are named. I eventually want to name them all but I suck at coming up with things like that.**

 **As always thank you for reading, reviewing, following, or favoriting my story and Thank you for celebration #updateober with me. I would like to do it again sometime but I have to stock up on chapters first. This month seriously depleted my chapter supply.**


	24. Chapter 23

**-Romanow-lots will be revealed when Sam gets back to London. You are welcome to PM me anytime as is anyone else. I am going to miss #updateober but all good things come to an end (but that doesn't mean it will never happen again).**

 **-AmazingRrrachel (who was too lazy to log in to her account) The official ship name is Damn. As for Dangirl, she only appears after Sam appears in a video and Sam hasn't been in any videos recently so therefore we wouldn't have heard from her but there is lot of Dangirl to come.**

 **-Ssgcp- on of my goal for #updateober was to get through Sam incredibly long visit home and get her back to London. Imagine if we were still like four chapters back. I didn't want it to drag on forever.**

 **-Danisnotonfire's Twin Sister- I snorted while writing it.**

 **Thank you to those listed above as well as guest for reviewing.**

 **Chapter 23: The "B" Word**

I woke up to the smell of bacon and fresh coffee. I could hear the sizzling of the bacon in the pan and the coffee brewing. Well isn't this a nice way to wake up. I opened my eyes and saw Lily in the kitchen cooking away.

"What are you doing?" I asked from the couch.

"What's it look like, I'm cooking." Lily replied sarcastically.

"Yeah but why? You never cook unless it's pancakes or waffles." I said getting up and going over to check out what else she could be cooking.

"Bacon sounded really good so I decided to cook some." said Lily.

I shrugged my shoulders and headed for the bathroom. I wanted a proper shower. I climbed in and tried to remember why I had a feeling of dread about today. Then I remembered the date. August 18th.

I thought about just locking myself in the bathroom for the day but bacon. As if on cue my stomach rumbled. I finished up in the shower, got dressed in all black of course, and made my way back out to the kitchen. Lily was already eating by the time I got out there.

I made a plate and we ate in silence and when we were done we headed over to the couch. My phone was on the cushion and when I picked it up I noticed it was dead so I went and plugged it in. No way was I turning that thing on until tomorrow.

Lily and I hung out around the house just relaxing and not once did she mention about what day it was. She knew how I felt but that never stopped her before.

Around noon Lily got a call from my parents. They complained that my phone was off and that they had been trying to get a hold of me. I refused to talk to them so Lily told them I was in the shower.

"They want you to come to dinner tonight." said Lily after hanging up the phone.

I sighed dramatically and slid down the couch and on to the floor with Lily laughing at me the whole time. I really didn't want to have to leave the house today.

"Can I just lock myself in your bathroom and claim to have food poisoning from your bacon this morning?" I asked from the floor.

"Sammie it's your B-"

"LALALALALALALA!" I said plugging my ears and yelling loudly so I couldn't hear her.

She gave me her mom look.

"We are going to your parents for dinner even if I have to drag you there and believe me, I will drag you if I have to." said Lily with her hands on her hips.

I stuck my tongue out at her.

I stayed in my position on the floor for a few more minutes before I decided I was bored of watching TV. I went into Lily's room and grabbed my headphones and my computer. Like I said before, there is no way I was turning my phone on today.

I plugged my headphones in, turned my music on, and closed my eyes. The world around me was drowned out and this lyrics overtook me. I started to sing along.

 **asdfghjkl**

 **Lily POV**

I noticed Sammie go into my room. I had a feeling she was going to listen to music so I waited a few minutes then grabbed my phone. I made my way into my room where Sammie was laying on my bed with her eyes closed.

By the way her foot was moving, I could tell a song had just started. A thought popped into my head. I should record this and send it to Dan.

I waited for a song I didn't recognize, meaning Dan would probably know it, then I started recording her.

Once the song was done I sent it to Dan then went back to the couch. My phone vibrated a few minutes after signaling I had a text. I was surprised to see that it was from Dan.

 _"_ _Please don't send me anymore videos."_

Why would he not want the videos anymore?

 _"_ _Why?"_ I asked.

 _"_ _I don't want them."_

 _"_ _WHY?"_ I asked again.

 _"_ _I can't tell you. Just don't send them."_

This didn't seem like the same guy I had been texting recently or the same guy in his videos.

 _"_ _Is something wrong? Do you wanna talk about it?"_ I asked.

I didn't know if he would want to talk to me but I thought I would at least try.

 _"_ _It's nothing Sam and I just need space from each other."_

Space… what does he mean space? I know she didn't tell him.

 _"_ _You're in two different countries. How much more space do you need?"_

 _"_ _Just please stop sending me videos."_

 _"_ _Do you know what today is?"_

 _"_ _August 18_ _th_ _."_

 _"_ _Do you know what's special about this day?"_

 _"_ _No…"_

 _"_ _Go on to Sam's Facebook. You'll see what today is."_

What in hell is going on with Dan? Is he on his freaking man period or something!? I figured the only way I would know is if I texted Phil and that's exactly what I did.

 _"_ _Hey."_

 _"_ _Hi Lily, no funny name this time?"_

 _"_ _No, what's going on with Dan. If it's something about him liking her, I won't say anything."_

It took a few minutes for him to text back. It was almost like he was contemplating what to say.

 _"_ _A few days ago, I found Dan sleeping in Sam's room. I told him he was starting to act weird and that he just needed to tell her. Ever since then, he's locked himself in his room. The most I got out of him was that I was right and he was being really weird and that he was going to put it to a stop. By that I think he's trying to push her away. He doesn't want to even talk to her."_

I sat thinking for a little bit. He can't push her away. Our goal is to finally get them together. Then the idea struck me.

 _"_ _I have the perfect idea. I'll tell you the details tomorrow."_

With that I put my phone down. I could feel the smirk spread across my face. Not long after my phone started to vibrate.

"Hello?" I said answering my phone.

"Hey. Everything is set up for the party." said Ian. "It's just us and my parents that are coming. Oh and Gloria. It sucks that all of Sammie's friends live in a different country."

"Yeah I know. It would make it more special. Not that Sammie will appreciate this. If anything I should be fearing for my life. When she finds out she's gonna be so mad at us." I said.

"Okay remember meeting at six at my parents. The living room and the dining room are the only places decorated. So she won't know it's a party until she comes in the house." said Ian.

"Okay well we should probably start getting ready. See you there." I said.

"Bye."

I could tell Ian was smiling on the other end. He was so much happier now that Sammie is back. I hope he doesn't go back to how he was before when she leaves again.

I made my way back to my room where Sammie had fallen asleep on the bed with her headphones still on. I went to go wake her up.

 **asdfghjkl**

 **Sam POV**

"Wakeup sleepy head." said Lily shaking me awake.

"How long was I asleep? Is it the next day yet?"

I really hope I slept that long.

"No you've only ben asleep for like fifteen minutes." said Lily.

"Ugh." I said rolling over and falling off the bed.

"Stop being dramatic. You might hurt yourself." said Lily though a laugh. "I'm going to go get in the shower. I have your outfit in the garment bag in the closet. The black one."

Lily turned and closed herself in the bathroom. I waited until I heard the water running to get up off the floor.

I went over to the closet and looked for the black bag Lily had mentioned. When I found it I pulled it out and laid it on the bed. I slowly unzipped it. What I saw inside made my eyes pop out of my head.

I picked up the hanger to see a black dress with long sleeves. The entire thing was lace and it looked like there was a built in slip so you didn't show your bits to everyone. I loved it and I hadn't even put it on yet.

So maybe today isn't going to be so bad. At least I can wear all black.

I put the dress on and fell in love with it even more. The dress was very fitting which made me look curvier that I really was. I was correct in thinking that there was a built in slip. You could see the black line where it cut off at my bust and showed the skin of my chest and shoulders.

In the back, the slip didn't start until the top of my butt meaning my entire back was semi exposed. The end of the dress hit me about mid-thigh. I looked good in this dress. I felt… attractive in this dress but I had a feeling my parents wouldn't like it.

I took the dress off and put it back into the closet. I got redressed and decided to wait for Lily to get out of the shower before getting dressed. If that dress was the one she was giving me, I don't think I wanted to go to this dinner after all.

I figured I could start on my makeup while I waited. I had just finished bronzer and my eyebrows when Lily came out of the shower.

"Why aren't you dressed yet?" she said sound exasperated.

"I couldn't find the bag you were talking about." I said now looking up from the blushes I had to choose from.

"Here." She said putting a black bag on the bed.

I finished picking out my blush and then went to go see what was in the bag. When I saw it my stomach dropped. It was the same bag I had just pulled out. I unzipped it and found… a completely different dress.

It was black but it looked like it was made of cotton. I picked it up and saw that it was more of a summer dress. I changed and then looked at myself in the mirror.

It had one inch wide straps that crossed in the back and a sweetheart neckline which made my boobs look great if I do say so myself. The bust was quite fitted but not too tight and stopped once it touched my ribs where there was a four inch wide piece of fabric on each side that I assumed you would tie into a bow. Lily tied it so tight that I had some difficulty breathing but I could deal with it.

The dress hung loosely until it hit mid-waist where the shirt floated outward. There was another layer under that making the skirt look fuller. I liked this dress much better than the sexy one I found in Lily's closet.

"So I'm assuming I get to keep this one too?" I said posing it as a question.

"Yeah Ian bought it for you. I bought you another on but you'll have to take it home with you before you can wear it. Maybe wear it for Dan." said Lily wiggling her eyebrows.

She then walked over to her closet and pulled out the bag that was identical to the on this dress had come out of and handing it to me.

I opened it and it was the sexy dress.

"Lily, if I wear this dress I might give Dan a heart attack. Phil too. This is a sexy dress…" I said acting surprised like I hadn't already seen it.

"Well then maybe you can use it on someone else. You're always talking about getting over the crush you have on Dan. Get a boyfriend or something." said Lily.

I just snorted. Guys don't like me. Especially when I'm around Lily. They are always looking at her.

I put the dress in my case and finished getting ready. Can't leave the house without doing my eyes. I went for a natural eye shadow and dramatic lashes.

Lily and I were both ready around six. We were running a little late but that was because she insisted that she curl my hair before we leave. That and she wanted me to do her makeup but she couldn't decide how she wanted it. And she complains that I take forever doing my makeup.

Lily drove like a maniac down the back roads to get to my parents. If we were on any main roads we would have so been pulled over by the cops.

After giving me a heart attack at the way she was driving she finally pulled into my parent's drive way. I was so glad to get out of that car but once again I dreaded going inside. Lily got behind me and pushed me toward the house. I didn't put up much resistance knowing she would get me in there one way or another and I didn't want to know what the other would be.

Lily walked into the house like she owed the place while I on the other hand tried to stall as much as possible going into the house. I tried taking baby steps but Lily just grabbed my hand and pulled me into the entryway.

"I hate you." I said.

"I know, I love you too." said Lily smirking at me.

We took off our jackets and hung them on the rack.

"Did I already tell you I hate you?" I asked sarcastically.

"Um I think so. Yeah I'm pretty sure you did." She replied.

"Well I hate you again." I said glaring at her.

"Well you're about to hate me even more."

My stomach dropped when she said those words and she pulled me towards the living room. She dragged me through the door way and I took in my surroundings. There were my parents, Ian, Gloria and her granddaughter with her husband and step-daughter. I had a moment where I thought I was going to puke.

"Happy Birthday!" They all yelled at the same time.

I turned to Lily and said I hate you one more time before plastering a fake smile on my face and pretending to be happy that I was one year closer to death.

Yay I'm a twenty-four year old college dropout with a dead end job and no clue what I want to do with my life. Insert existential crisis here.

"My little girl is all grown up. Honestly I figured you'd be married by now but oh well." said my Mom pulling me into a hug.

I guess now instead of college she's going to push marriage on me now. So not looking forward to that.

"Please don't ever get married. I don't think I could handle that yet." said my Dad wrapping me into another hug.

"Don't worry Dad, you don't have to worry about that for a long time. I don't even know who I would marry." I said.

When I pulled away Lily shoved a cup into my hand.

"This better have alcohol in it." I said under my breath.

I knew Lily heard it because she nodded. I was just taking a drink when Gloria spoke.

"What about that Dan you told me about. He's very good looking. You two would make very cute babies."

Sprite and vodka came out of my nose. Do you know how painful that is?! Carbonated alcohol coming out of your nostrils. It is not a fun time.

Lily and Ian laughed at my expense. My parents looked confused at their reaction and Sophie and her husband just looked confused in general. Clare on the other hand looked up from her phone at a familiar name.

"Uh Gloria, I-I…" I said my eyes going to Clare and back.

Her eyes followed mine and then she nodded.

We went about talking, Sophie started asking me questions about London. As soon as it was mentioned, Clare's attention turned to me and Sophie.

"So what do you do for fun?" Sophie asked.

"Uh my friends and I go to the movies a lot. Other than that we hang out with some of your other friends. We go to Brighton as often as we can. We have some friends there. I try to go there once a month. Zoe is really the only girl I hang out with on a regular basis." I said almost instantly regretting saying her name.

"And where is Brighton?" Sophie asked.

"Um it's on the coast. It's quite similar to here. Cold water." I said taking a sip of my drink.

I turned away and walked over to Lily.

"I hate you." I whispered in her ear.

She turned to me and beamed from ear to ear. Glad someone's having fun.

Everyone wandered into the dining room as my mom started to get dinner ready. I lingered behind and sat at the piano bench. I lifted the fall board and fingered the keys.

"Have you not played recently?" I heard Gloria say behind me making me jump.

"What makes you think that?" I asked.

"You hesitate." She stated.

I nodded.

"Are you out of practice playing in general or in front of people?" she asked.

I was too ashamed to tell her that there was a piano in the apartment I live in and I've only ever played it once. Not counting the time I let Dan attempt to teach me to play. I hug my head.

"Both. I've played only a handful of times since moving to London. I didn't have a piano in my apartment but the place where I'm living now has one but it's so out of tune it's difficult to play." I said.

"If my memory serves me right, that never stopped you before. What else is going on?" said Gloria.

She was on to me.

"Dan and Phil don't know I can play. Dan asked me once and I told him I couldn't. He tried to teach me. He's not half bad but he's not that good either and he doesn't really have confidence in his playing. He has potential." I said.

"You like this boy, don't you?" said Gloria with a knowing smile.

"Yes but he doesn't like me back." I said not looking up.

"I'd like to meet him. You seem even more taken with this boy and you ever did with Adam, and you intended to marry that boy at one point." She said.

"I also thought I would be in New York at Julliard but that never happened either." I couldn't look her in the eyes. She had always been a proactive person when it came to getting something she wanted. I was like that as well until I bombed the audition.

While my dream being crushed may have changed me, I sometimes think I'm still that same girl that was willing to do almost anything to get what she wanted, but at the same time, I feel like I'm a better person now. I've come to terms with the fact that my dream being crushed caused me to see what really mattered, enjoying the life I life and not taking anything for granted. To be content with the hand I'm given.

If that means that I have to live for the rest of my life with a crush on Dan that I can't escape, then I'm going to embrace it. I don't want to but if it's the hand I'm dealt, I have to play it. Since when did I start using gambling terms?

"Darling, sometimes life adds in notes to the song you play without telling you. You have to stumble upon them. In the end, it's what you do when you come across a note that has been written in. Do you stumble across it or do you go with the flow like it was always there? Sometimes the most beautiful songs come from the most unexpected notes." said Gloria.

Now it was going to take me some time to decipher all of her riddle but I'm pretty sure I got the gist of it. Play the notes as they come to you.

"Come on. Your mother made quite the feast and I do believe it's all of your favorites." said Gloria standing and holding out her hand.

I took it and stood with her. When I did she wrapped her arm around my shoulders. This was the first time that I realized she and I were the same height.

The rest of the night went like any other family dinner would have. Not once was the word Birthday uttered for the rest for the night. I wasn't much for presents so Lily had them all in the back of her car and when we got home she forced me to open them all before she would let me go to bed.

My parents just gave me money. Way too much money. They wanted me to promise that I would come back sooner than next summer. I told them that I wasn't coming back until the snow was gone when I called to thank them.

Gloria and her family got me a charm bracelet with musical notes, little pages that looked like sheet music and it had an array of instruments. My favorite by far was the tiny black piano. I was going to have to thank her the net time I saw her.

Ian and Lily had both gotten me a dress. On top of that they handed me a receipt to Ben's music store. Ian and lily both spent a hundred and Ben spent the rest. They didn't tell me what it was for but Lily just told me that it would be waiting in London for me when I arrived home.

While I hate my birthday because I get too much attention, this has been by far the best August 18th I've ever had but there were a couple things missing that would have made this night perfect. Dan and Phil.

 **So, Sam's birthday. In this chapter we got to see a little more of what's going on with Dan and that Phil and Lily have been talking. Lily knows about Dan's feelings for Sam. It looks like Sam will be the last to know.**


	25. Chapter 24

**First off, I'M LATE! I'M SOOOOOOO SORRY! I DIDN'T DIE, I PROMISE. I had a dentist appointment and I have major dentist based anxiety. The after I had to throw myself a pity party and wait for the meds to wear off so I wasn't loopy. It was just a filling but anxiety... I had to have a chill pill for that one. (now I kind of sound like a crazy person. I'm not crazy I just really don't like the dentist.)**

 **Second, we are at 95 reviews. I'm gonna cry when we hit 100 and knowing my luck, I'll be at work. Also when we hit 100, you get a chapter. I'm working a lot this week so I don't know when I'll be able to post it if we hit 100 after this chapter is posted. You may not get it until Tuesday. After we hit 100, every hundred after is a chapter reward. So you get an extra chapter when we reach 200 then 300 and so on. That's how it's going to go from now on. even if we were to hit 1000 (oh God, please no. I will actually die if that happens) you'll still one every 100 reviews.**

 **AmazingRrrachel - You are very welcome. I felt the world should know. Quick tip, if at all possible, don't logout. saves the hassle. I'm glad that you were number 90. While Dan and Phil are real people, I've turned them into my characters while attempting to stay as true to the person they represent as possible. Honestly the thought of writing a story about actual people instead of fictional ones really scared me because I was afraid I wouldn't do them justice. That and I don't know them personally, so I don't really know what they are like except for what we have seen in videos. I've never even met them. Also IF Dan or Phil was ever to read this (I would actually die of embarrassment) I would want them to not think "Oh I would never say/do that" nor would I want to offend them in any way. My Lily is always threatening me that she's going to send it to Dan. Especially since he admitted to reading fanfics. Anyways, sorry for the tangent there. And no don't be concerned if I miss a day. p.s. I PMed you earlier but I'm guessing you were too lazy to log in again. p.s.s. I will never stop teasing you about that so you should probably just accept it. 3**

 **Amazingfire24- I may have slipped in a bit of pham feels in just for you. BUT IT'S TOTALLY PLATONIC.**

 **Romanow- a lot of you questions are answered in this chapter and thank you for not predicting anything even though in a way you did kinda but not in a creepy way so it's all good. You may yell at me, but I've never seen Modern Family. It's on my list I just haven't gotten around to it therefore I have no clue who that is. The birthday thing is also explained in this chapter.**

 **Also thank you Ssgcp and Purpledragon93 who met to leave it as a guest but didn't you sneeky little...**

 **Sorry that was so long, enjoy the chapter.**

 **Chapter 24**

The next morning I had a slight hangover. It was really just a headache but it was a hangover headache. No matter how good of a birthday I have, I still need to have copious amounts of alcohol to make it through. Wow, I kind of sound like an alcoholic.

We didn't do much that day except go for a ride just to see how everything had changed. While driving we passed a house that brought back so many memories.

"Isn't that Annabell and Alisha's house. How are they?" I asked remembering the young girl and her baby sister that Lily used to babysit.

"Um, they moved. You heard about the accident right? Her mom…" said Lily not being able to finish her sentence.

"No, she didn't… that can't have been her. Poor Annabell and Alisha." I said with a feeling of sadness coming over me.

All I could think about is when Lily dragged me along to babysit with her and when we went out back there was ten year old girl doing front flips on the trampoline and her mom smiling at her and holding her baby sister. I couldn't believe their mom was… gone.

We drove home and then just vegged on the couch for a while. We hooked up my laptop to the TV and binged on Dil videos. I think Lily has fallen in love. Lily and Dil, Dily… I ship it. Shit, I just winked. I really hope Lily didn't see that. Damn you Daniel and your inappropriate winking. It's rubbing off on me.

On that note, I turned on my phone. There were so many texts that I had to turn my phone on silent so it didn't vibrate across the floor. I spent a good twenty minutes replying to Facebook messages from people from high school I never spoke one word to, and a ton of texts from friends.

Something I didn't expect was a text from Dan.

 _happy birthday_

My heart sank. When he and I first became friends, we both made a pact that we would never say happy birthday to each other on our actual birthdays. He knew I hated my birthday because it's excuse for people to pay attention to you. What could Phil have said to make Dan this mad at me?

I pushed it out of my mind and continued reading though my texts.

Zoe sent me what a happy birthday followed by a ton of purple hearts (my favorite heart emoji). Alfie and Joe both sent a simple happy birthday. Louise sent me a message that was just emojis and then a video of her and Darcy singing happy birthday. Most of the others were along the same lines of Alfie's. Then there was Phil.

 _HAPPY BIRTHDAY! Please don't be mad at me. I couldn't help myself. I'm sorry. I love you. Don't kill me. Oh God. PLEASE MAKE ME PANCAKES. I DON'T THINK I CAN LIVE WITHOUT THEM._

If I wasn't already on the floor, I would have been once reading that text. The sad thing is, I read it in his voice and I could totally see him saying that. I texted him back.

 _It's okay. I forgive you. But I don't know about the pancakes. Maybe that'll be your punishment…_

I laughed evilly when I pushed the send button. I swear people mush think I'm crazy, winking and laughing to myself. Gosh I'm so weird.

 _I WILL DO ANYTHING FOR THE PANCAKES. WHAT CAN I DO TO EARN THE RIGHT TO PANCAKES BACK?_

I got exactly what I figured I would.

 _I don't know… Dishes for two weeks starting when I get home._

 _Done!_

 _I miss you._

 _Same. It feels wrong without you here. Come home already._

 _Friday can't come any sooner._

This is where the conversation ended. I figured Phil went to bed. It was getting late over there. Next I had to call my only living grandmother.

She was put into a nursing home when I was really young. She had dementia and still thinks I'm twelve. I once tried to tell her how old I was and it just stressed her out even more so now I go along with it. At least she remembers my birthday.

"Hi Gramma, its Samantha. I'm sorry I didn't answer my phone when you tried to call."

"Oh, Samantha, Happy Birthday. I forgot to send you a present."

"Don't worry about that Gramma. I don't need a present. Just you calling is enough. I gotta go but I just called to tell you thank you for calling and that I love you."

"I love you too Sammie."

With that I hung up the phone. I don't get to talk her very often so it was quite nice to talk to her today.

After we got though all the Sims videos, Lily decided she wanted to watch a few others. We both ended up sleeping on the couch.

The next day we didn't really leave the house. I felt bad because I never did go and visit Gloria but she saw me at my birthday party so I figured it wouldn't be that bad. We did on the other hand play music loudly and dance around in Lily's apartment.

We were equipped with fluffy socks and slippery floors. A dangerous situation for people with good balance. I sadly am not one of those people. There were many **almost** disasters where I **almost** fell on my butt. Just when I thought I was going to get away without butt bruises, the incident happened.

Lily slid into me and I lost my balance (big surprise there), I was going to fall on my face but I caught it just in time to hit the slippery bit of floor and I fell on my ass bringing Lily down with me. On top of that Lily kneed me in the stomach.

"Now I have butt bruises." I said in a pouty sounding voice once I regained my voice.

An evil grin appeared on Lily's face. I had no time to act before Lily kicked me in the butt.

"Now you have two." said Lily with the same evil grin.

"What was that for?" I asked annoyed.

"You dragged me down with you. The floor is hard." She replied.

"But you kneed me on the way down." I countered

"Yeah but that was your own fault."

"But you ran into me…"

Lily just shrugged.

"Don't be in my way and I won't bump into you."

There was no point arguing with her. I huffed and leaned against the cupboard and rubbed the sore spot on my butt. I'm a fucking fortune teller. A fortune teller of butt bruises.

I stayed on the floor for a while rubbing my butt. Floors are hard. The knee to the stomach didn't do anything except knock the wind out of me but it still hurt.

 **asdfghjkl**

Friday rolled around to everyone's dismay. Lily and Ian weren't ready for me to leave yet but I missed the guys and I had to work in a few days.

Friday morning I decided I should probably book my flight home. I was hoping for something tonight or early tomorrow morning. I had told Ian and Lily this the day before but I knew I should have booked it sooner.

There were no available flights until 8:30 am on Tuesday. On top of that, the thing I bought for my phone so that I could use it in the US, ran out today. Therefore my phone was completely useless and it's not like Lily has Phil or Dan's number.

I couldn't call the guys and tell them and when they tried my phone, they wouldn't get anything. Then on top of that, I can't find my computer charger anywhere.

You could say that Friday was a bad day.

"They're going to think I died." I mumbled in my slumped position on the couch.

I crossed my arms and closed my eyes.

"No they won't. They'll just figure you had a hard time getting a flight and that your phone ran out." said Lily from her seat next to me.

"No, Dan will have a heart attack and think I died after two days plus I can't give them a heads up that I'm home so I'm pretty much just going to me showing up unannounced. What if I came home and one of them has a girl… nope, never mind, that won't happen."

"Well then maybe this whole thing going on with Dan will go away. He'll think you're dead and he'll be so happy that you're alive that whatever mood he's in will be forgotten." said Lily ending the conversation by turning the TV on and turning her attention to that.

I noticed that she had a smirk on her face. She was up to something and definitely didn't want to know what.

A few minutes later I turned to Lily and asked for her phone.

"Why do you want my phone?" she asked.

"I'm gonna call the guys." I stated.

"Do you know their numbers?"

"No but they're in my phone." I said picking up my phone before remembering that I turned it off to save the battery. If I couldn't use it to call a taxi when I landed in London, I was screwed.

"Never mind." I sighed crossing my arms and slouching down into the couch.

Later in the evening there was a knock on Lily's door. Lily got up to answer it and in walked someone I definitely didn't expect.

"Ian? What are you doing here?" I asked in awe of seeing my brother in my best friend's apartment.

"Oh, Sammie? I thought you went home." He said just as surprised as I was.

"Why do you have a-" I paused to sniff the air. "A Barbeque Chicken pizza and cream soda?"

"Well… I uh, I just thought… Lily, help me here?" said my brother turning to my best friend for help under my suspicious glare.

"We planned that the night you left, we would have a pity party.

"A pity party?" I asked.

"Yeah because we are going to be sad that you were gone and because we… we want you to stay here with us and I know London is home to you but we miss you when you're gone." said Lily in a rush of words and she was almost on the verge of tears.

"Lily, I love you and I miss you when I'm gone too, but I just want to make it very clear that London is my home. I would love to stay with you but the only way for that to happen is you to move to London. I know you and you are never going to move to London. Leaving this place was always a secret dream of mine but I thought it would never happen but now that I'm out, I'm never coming back to stay. I'll visit but I don't fit here. It's like I'm a puzzle piece from a different puzzle and someone is trying to fit me into a space that wasn't made for me when I'm here. When I'm in London my puzzle is complete."

Lily cried and I cried with her. Ian didn't know who to comfort so he kind of hugged both of us from the side. His awkwardness almost make me laugh… almost. We finished out our crying session and then we stuffed ourselves with pizza. There was a significant amount of time that Lily was engrossed in her phone but I'm pretty sure she was reading a school related email or something because she looked very serious. We somehow all ended up falling asleep on the couch.

 **Lily POV**

" _Okay Mister P, the plan is set in motion. She couldn't find a flight until Tuesday and I'm hiding her computer and phone charger so she can't call Dan."_

 _"_ _Mister P? Lily, I think you're running out of creative names to call me. Okay, Dan is still in his bad mood but this will totally solve it I think."_

Ever since I started texting Dan, I've been texting Phil too. It started out me just wanting to get to know my best friend's best friends but when it came to Phil, we just kind of hit it off.

Eventually he told me about how Dan likes Sam and he knows Sam likes Dan but he can't tell either of them because he values his trust. The only thing that held me back from running to Sam right away and rubbing it in her face was the fact that Phil seemed genuinely afraid that Sam and Dan wouldn't trust him again.

I so badly wanted to tell her but instead he and I started plotting to get the two of them together. There were many plans that were scrapped because they wouldn't have worked.

When Phil told me about what happened with Dan since Phil told him he was acting really weird, the most ingenious thought came to me. Knowing that Sam and only booked a one way, she was bound to not get a flight on the day she wanted unless she wanted to pay mega bucks for it.

The plan was to cut all contact for Dan and Sam. Dan was already barely talking to Sam, so it would totally work but I knew she would try to contact Phil. This is where my ninja skills had to kick in.

First I unplugged the internet. Then when Sam was on half battery on her laptop, I grabbed her charger and hid it under the bed. I prayed that she didn't look there and luckily she didn't.

Then I asked to use her phone. I left as many apps running as possible. When she noticed she was on 25 percent, she went to plug her phone in but she couldn't find the charger. I hid it in the cardboard tube of a roll of toilet paper and hit in the back of the closet under the other rolls. When she couldn't find her charger, she turned her phone off to save the battery.

When she asked to borrow my phone, I had a mini panic attack. If she had had the guys numbers memorized I was screwed. I lucked out on that one.

The overall plan was for Dan to be really worried and think she died or something and then when he sees her, he'll be so overcome with relief that he kisses her. Then Dan and Sam will get married and live happily and awkwardly ever after. Fingers crossed that this works.

 **Sam POV**

The next three days seemed to go by faster than I thought they would. On Saturday Lily, Ian, and I all went to dinner at my parents. My parents upon seeing me thought I was moving back home but they both looked disappointed when I set them straight.

Sunday was spent at the lake. Lily and I got fries and milkshakes like we used to and we laid out in lawn chairs on the dock that the little kids jump off of. Of course we had to swim out there with our lawn chairs so we had no choice but to just talk to each other seeing as bring a book was out of the question. We talked a lot about Dan. She is quite adamant that I need to tell him I like him.

"You love him, don't lie to yourself. You said it before." said Lily not looking at me.

"No, it's just a crush. I won't let it be more than that. Then I'm going to stamp it out. It was a slip of the tongue. I didn't mean it." I said trying to get her to drop the subject.

"I ship you." said Lily.

"What?" I asked somewhere between shocked that she knew what shipping was and confused as to why she said it.

"I ship you. You and Dan are my… OTP." said Lily almost with a sense of pride.

"Lily, do you even know what OTP means?" I asked now more on the surprised side.

"I've been doing my research. That and I heard it in one of Dan's videos-what?" she said seeing my shocked, confused and astonished face.

"I had to do some snooping on the guy my best friend is in love with. I need to know what he's like and if he's any good for you. I give my approval by the way."

"I don't love Dan." I said.

Oh god I sound like Lily when she's confronted about Ian.

Monday was filled with packing and making sure I remembered to pack absolutely everything… and then checking again. I didn't want to leave anything here and have Lily send it to me. It was just a waste of time and money. I had a slight difficulty closing my suitcase once I had everything rounded up.

The next morning Lily and I got up at three. We had to leave at four thirty so I could check in at the airport at six thirty. Lily reminded me of a zombie as she was shuffling off to the bathroom to shower. I laid in the bed staring at the ceiling just thinking about how I am really going to miss Lily and Ian.

While double checking that I had everything while Lily was in the shower, I moved a pile of clothes where I found my phone charger. I was just about to plug my phone in when Lily came out of the shower.

I got in the shower next and when I was done we packed all of my things up into the car. Of course Lily forgot to plug in my phone like she promised. Lily and I then went to pick up Ian. She said she wanted company for the ride home so she didn't fall asleep. The three of us drove the two hour drive to Portland. Lily and I sang the whole way and Ian glared from the back seat because we wouldn't let him sleep.

Lily and Ian both came in with me to see me off but they wouldn't let them past a certain point so we had to saw our goodbyes there.

"I love you. Please don't die in a fiery plane crash." said Ian hugging me.

"Wow, way to make me remember my irrational fear of flying. I'll only be in a state of panic for ten and a half hours. Thanks, you're a really good brother." I said hitting his arm lightly.

Next it was Lily's turn for a hug. I hugged her tighter than I've ever hugged anyone before.

"Now remember if you ever want to move to London, I'm totally fine with sharing my bed. It's definitely big enough for both of us." I said causing her to laugh.

"And if you ever want to move home you and I can share my bed." She countered.

"Nah, you're too much of a bed hog." I said hugging her even tighter if that was possible.

"See you around Christmas time." She said.

I could tell that she was holding back tears which made my eyes water a bit but I held the tears back.

I watched their retreating backs until they disappeared then I went to go check in and go through security. It took a little while but I still had time to go to Starbucks for coffee. I sat enjoying one when I pulled out my laptop. It was dead the last three days because the charger somehow got lost. We eventually found it under Lily's bed after looking there twice. I swear, beds eat everything that gets close.

Great, no Wi-Fi. Plus my plane had no Wi-Fi so I couldn't check comments on my blog post about going home that I had posted. I took lots of really pretty pictures of one of the trails behind my parent's house and some at the beach. I even took a few at the lake. One of my favorites from the lake was a picture of the water and the sun reflected off of it just right making it look almost alive.

I also used on of my brother playing volleyball that was really good. I used it in my blog but didn't mention that it was my brother. My favorite part of the entire post is the last paragraph.

 _"_ _Going back to the place that you grew up in as someone who is older and more knowledgeable of the world is weird because back then, this one place was your whole world. Now it seems that the world is much bigger than it used to be. It's so different but at the same time it is exactly the same. Going home is weird, especially when it's not really your home anymore."_

I know it's kind of, I don't want to say depressing but… depressing, but its how I truly felt about the town I grew up in. I don't know how but I managed to sum up how I felt about that place in words.

I got started on another new post. This one was about another product. Recently I have been wanting to do different things with my blog. Not just reviews or products. I was hoping that if I got good feedback from the going home post, I could start to add in more personal stuff.

I really wanted to write posts about my college experience and the reason I dropped out. I also had a really good idea for a blog post about what it was like going to school in a different country and then eventually staying there. There were so many things I wanted to do but I felt like my blog currently was all beauty.

Just before I got packed up to head over to my gate there was an announcement over the intercom. My flight was delayed due to some sort something I didn't hear because a baby started to cry making deciphering the words impossible. Delayed for approximately four hours… great. I was already going to get in to London Heathrow really late at night, now I won't get there until tomorrow morning.

I settled back into my chair at the table and opened a new writing document. I figured I had some time to kill so I could just free write for a while. As the words left my fingertips I no longer remembered what they were. It's almost like my hands had taken over and my mind just shut down.

When I looked back up, I saw that two hours had passed and I had somehow managed to turn the chaos in my brain into words. To my astonishment, there were actual sentences and proper punctuation. I deserve another coffee for this.

I had just sat down when another announcement came over the intercom. My flight would now be boarding. I grabbed my things and made my way to the gate.

We were all boarded and about to take off at eleven thirty. My excitement at seeing my two best friends overrode the slight terror my brother had instilled in me. I am going to be home in twelve hours. I couldn't be happier. Well one thing could have made me happier, Violet. If she was here, the flight wouldn't be as boring. Stupidplanenothavingwifi.

 **Once again, I'm sorry for posting a day late.**

 **Thank you for reading and some of you sticking by this story from almost the beginning. I foresee** **a long haul when it comes to this story. It's been threeish months in the story and the plan is to do a year and a half so for those of you who love this story as much as I do, you should get really excited.**

 **I just was you to know that the ending is not near. The story doesn't end with Sam and Dan becoming a couple. You actually get to see their relationship which I just really want to start writing but I can't until I get past all of my evil plans which I had to thank Purpledragon93 for helping me. Those long car rides where we talk about Phil, Dan, Lily, and Sam like they are actually our friends really do give me ideas.**

 **No only is Purpledragon93 my best friend but she is also my beta and a really amazing writer.**

 **Speaking of her writing this s/11227357/1/Fate-Be-Damned is a really good story if you like Twilight. Or if you don't actually like Twilight because of Bella and all of that. She ditched Bella and made her own character who is nothing like Bella. In this chapter there was a little easter egg. I mentioned Annabell, who is the main character and her younger sister Alisha(she's my favorite) at the beginning of my story. We thought it would a funny little thing to do. She is going to do the same and if anyone is interested, I'll let you know the chapter so you can read it if you want.**

 **Okay, that's the last time I'm going to mention her story because frankly, I find it annoying when people promote other peoples stories in a spammy way and I kind of feel like that's what I'm doing and I don't wanna be that person so I'm going to stop.**

 **I'm sorry and I'll see you on Thursday(hopefully) unless we make it to 100 reviews. Then you'll get another one... soon.**


	26. Chapter 25

**I cannot believe that I have 105 reviews on this story. It's ridiculous. I didn't even think I would get five let alone 105. I just have to thank all of the people that I can count on to almost always leave a review every chapter. So a special thank you to Romanow, AmazingRrrachel(even though you don't always log in), Ssgcp, Danisnotonfire's Twin Sister, and AmazingFire24. If I missed you I'm sorry and thank you.**

 **Romanow, Ssgcp, and Danisnotonfire's Twin Sister have been reviewing since what feels like the beginning. AmazingRrrachel my not have been around for long but in one night she read every chapter and proceeded to leave a review and since then, I have been able to count on a review every chapter(sometimes more than one because she's too lazy to login).**

 **And another extra special thanks to Purpledragon93 who reads my chapter and tells me how to make them better before I give them to you guys... and for making me post my first ever chapter.**

 **Now on to answering reviews.**

 **AmazingRrrachel x4 - The cliffhanger is crucial to the story so are all of the others to come *muhahaha*. Yes Lily and Phil have teamed up but I want to make it clear, they will NOT end up in a relationship. Phil has a love intrest, I swear, she just hasn't shown up... much... and I like long reviews. I'm sorry you weren't the 100th (I was king of almost expecting it would be you). I also appreciate that my 100th review was Bae.**

 **AmazingFire24 - I kind put it in just for you. On the hate scale 10 being the worst, doctors are a 10 and dentists are a 100.**

 **Sscgcp - First off thank you for being 99th and 100th. I and some others really like that Bae was my 100th. Second, You have been reviewing almost consistently since chapter 11. Thank you for sticking by me for so long.**

 **Guest - Your review is one of my favorites I've ever gotten. When I started this story, I was aware of the lack of decent stories like this one and I was afraid that mine would be among the not so good ones. I'm so glad that it's not shit.**

 **Romanow - THANKYOU! I hope your ovaries didn't explode. I would think that it would be extremely painful. Dily is a joke. Also thank you, Lily and Ian's official ship name is Lian. I really like it. That's it, you're just psychic. embrace it. You are my most consistent reviewer and you have been with me since chapter six. You were my fourth ever review and now you're my 104th. You have been with me the longest and I hope you stay with me for what's to come.**

 **Danisnotonfire's Twin Sister - You also feature on my first page of reviews an I just wanted to thank you as well.**

 **There is so much more that I could say but I'm just going to stop now and let you read the next chapter. P.s. I totally bawled my eyes out when I saw that I was at a hundred. My dog looked at me like I was crazy.**

 **Chapter 25**

Throughout the entire plane ride my excitement grew. By the time we landed, I was bouncing up and down in my seat. I was finally home. I was in London. I could feel the pull to run off the plane but instead I waited patiently.

Once in the airport I turned my phone back on. I had twenty three missed calls but only enough battery to make one. A call for and Uber. Almost as soon and I hung up, my phone died. I hate when planes don't have outlets.

Plus it was almost three am. I don't think it would be appreciated if I were to call back who ever called me now. I'm assuming it was Dan or Phil, probably both.

The airport seemed kind of empty and it was an eerie feeling to walk through and almost deserted airport. For a second I thought someone walking down on the corridors was a zombie. I really need to not watch _Warm Bodies_ before I fall asleep, which I happened to do on the plane.

I made my way outside and not long after, an Uber pulled up. It wasn't hard to tell it was for me because I was literally the only one around. I told him my address and we were off. I watched excitedly as we got closer and closer to the flat. It seemed that as soon as the flat came into view time slowed down. It was almost like it took an hour to get from the point to where I first saw the flat to being stopped in front of it.

I grabbed my things and pulled my keys out of my pocket then made my way up to the flat. Once inside I went really quietly so I didn't wake anyone up. The flat smells the same as before I left and I was so incredibly happy to be home.

Once in my room, I found a three packages on my bed. Two were that bath and body works things that I had gotten and one, the biggest one, had Lily's address as the return address. I moved all of the boxed to the floor beside where I had sat my suitcase. I would open it later when I had time.

Despite my intense excitement, I was so tired and at the same time I really needed a shower. I decided on a shower and sleep then I would see the guys in the morning. It seemed like the best option. I know the guys will be excited to see me but they may be less excited if I woke them up.

I grabbed clothes and made my way to the shower. Once I was done I went to bed. As soon as my head hit the pillow I was out. I missed my big comfy bed more that I missed the guys. Okay, maybe I'm over exaggerating a bit but I really missed my bed. Do you know how nice it is to not be constantly pushed to the edge of the bed? You sleep so much better when you're not worried that you're going to be pushed off at any minute.

The next morning I woke up feeling refreshed and extremely happy. I'm in London. As the light from outside filtered in through the window I let just how happy I really was really sink in. I laid there until my excitement grew too great to stay still.

I got up and got dressed. When I checked the time I saw that it was noon. Wow I guess I'm not going to beat the jetlag this time.

Once I was dressed I quietly made my way down to the kitchen where I found Phil at the fridge. I tiptoed over to stand behind him and then wrapped my arms around him. I totally scared the shit out of him.

"Did you miss me?" I asked before he could say anything.

"Sam!" he said turning to hug me back. "Of course I missed you. I thought you were going to fly out on Friday. Dan and I tried to call you but it said you were no longer in service. What happened?"

I led Phil into the lounge and told him the tale of how I couldn't get a flight and my phone ran out of service and I couldn't find my chargers for anything anywhere. He totally understood. After catching up with Phil I went up to my room and started to unpack my suitcase.

 **Third POV**

It was around lunch time when Phil went in to check on Dan. He was laying on his floor in the existential crisis position.

"Dan you need to eat. I'm going to go make you a sandwich." He said in the nicest way he could.

"I can't eat until I know she's okay." He replied.

"Oh come on. She's going to be fine. She probably just lost her phone or something." Phil replied.

The only reply Phil received was an "ugh".

Phil left the room and made his way to the kitchen where he made a sandwich for Dan and sent a quick message to Lily.

 _Sam arrived this morning. She's upstairs and she still thinks Dan is mad at her. Dan on the other hand is really worried about her. I think our plan may actually work._

Once he was done he made his way back to Dan's room. When he went in, Dan was no longer on the floor as expected but instead at his computer looking up international news.

"Dan, what are you doing?" Phil asked setting the plate of food down by Dan.

"I'm checking to see if any planes crashed." Dan snapped.

Phil walked out of Dan's room closing the door behind him. He then put his tapped his fingers together and laughed evilly.

"Phil, what are you doing?" said Sam walking past with a basket of clothes.

"Nothing." said Phil wiping the evil grin off his face.

"Whatever." said Sam continuing down to the washer and dryer.

 **Sam's POV**

Unpacking didn't take very long. I just dumped my entire suitcase out on the floor and started to make piles. One for dirty clothes, one for clean, one for gifts for the guys and my other friends and one for the things that were going to stay in my room.

I put away the clean clothes and the new ones then I grabbed a basket and made my way down to the washing machine. I saw Phil on the way down and he was acting strangely but I just brushed it off. Phil was weird sometimes.

Once the machine was full, I made my way back up to my room. I had bought a few things that needed to be put away, like those journals I bought. I also had a few pictures that Lily got framed for me.

One of them was from Funtown when Violet made us go on one of the roller-coaster. You can tell from the picture that we were all having a really good time. There was another from when Lily and I went to the beach and then the last one is me on my brother's back. We both looked so happy in that picture it made my heart hurt.

I was finally done when it was time for supper. I really wanted Chinese food from my favorite place in London. While I like The Fortune Fountain, the Chinese here is, dare I say, better that back home.

I made my way down to the lounge and found Phil watching an anime that Lily made me watch while I was home.

"Where is Dan? Did he go see his parents or something?" I asked sitting on the couch next to Phil.

"No, he's in his room having an existential crisis, and… looking at the international news." said Phil looking down at his hands.

"Why on earth his he looking at the news?" I asked catching on to the guilt I could see in Phil's eyes.

"Uh, because I still haven't told him you are home yet?" Phil said almost asking me a question.

"Phil…" I said standing and starting to make my way to Dan's room.

"Wait… I figured that if he was worried about you, he would stop acting like a twat." Phil explained.

"Well I'm going to go and tell him that I am in fact not dead."

I made my way to Dan's room but before I knocked I heard him in his room talking.

"Look I'm really worried. Please just call me and tell me you aren't dead. I swear to God if you're dead-" I heard him say.

I opened the door without knocking and walked in.

"Don't worry, I'm not." I said.

He turned to me surprised and within seconds he was across the room and hugging me. The second his skin made contact with mine it was like the swarm of butterflies that lived in my stomach got spooked and they all started to fly at the same time.

A smile spread across my face and I couldn't help but wish that Dan never let me go. I was so happy that his pissy mood seemed to be gone.

I stood there in his embrace for about three minutes before I said something making him let go of me.

"I'm sorry I couldn't contact you before I got here. There were a series of shitty events that happened starting Friday. First I couldn't get a flight, then my phone ran out of service. On top of that, I lost my laptop charger and then found it twenty minutes before I left for the airport yesterday. Then the airport Wi-Fi was down and the plane didn't have Wi-Fi or plugs so everything died and I had to call an Uber which used the rest of my battery when I landed and-"

Dan put his hand over my mouth to make me stop my frantic rambling. Man I really wish that had been a kiss.

"Sam, I don't care. You here now and you're not dead and I just don't care." He said pulling me into another hug.

"So tell me all about the trouble you got in while you were gone." He said letting me go and sitting in his bed patting the spot next to him telling me to sit too.

It seemed like he wanted to say something else but I didn't want to press him. I know I must have worried him.

I sat on his bed and we started talking. We were both laying on his bed just talking. My head had somehow ended up on his shoulder and his head on mine.

"So yeah, if my brother shows up and attempts to murder you, you now know why." I said finishing my story of how I told my brother I was living with the guys.

"Great now I have to watch my back. It's a good thing I know what he looks like so that I can evade him. Those pictures in your room are a life saver. Probably literally." said Dan with a smirk.

"Hey my brother actually exercises so you might not be able to outrun him." I countered.

"Yes, but if your brother is anything like you, all I have to do is lead him on to the underground and I'll lose him easily."

"I thought we agreed to never speak of that again. Maybe I should let my brother murder you." I said glaring up at him.

Once again the urge to kiss Dan was almost over powering. I looked away before anything happened.

After that I continued to tell him about Lily and Ian dragging me to a bar and then our weekend in Portland, leaving out the bit about Violet and me peeing myself on The Dragons Decent. Then I told him about my surprise birthday party that I hated.

It was getting late and I was tired so I said goodnight to Dan and made my way up to my room. I laid on my bed and stared up at the ceiling.

My first day home was definitely more chilled than I expected it to be but I don't think I can hang out with Dan like that until I'm more used to being around him. I mean I had been gone for two weeks. I need to build up my resistance to him so I don't do something I may regret later on. You know, like kiss him or something.

Even now just thinking about it my lips tingled. Instead of rolling over and ignoring it, I couldn't help but imagine what it would feel like to have Dan's lips on mine. The way it would feel.

I fell asleep thinking about what it would feel like which entered me into a dream where I was actually kissing him. But I won't say anything more about it because I don't like to kiss and tell.


	27. Chapter 26

**MistyRose96 - I'm not even a quarter of the way through and you can count on lots to happen. Thank you for following and favoriting and reviewing of course.**

 **AmazingRrrachel - first off, yay you logged in. Second, I need to have my fun while I can before they actually kiss which feels like its forever away. Let me know if you find her.**

 **Romanow - If you're Four, can I be Six? What a badass. I mean really... FIRE! There are lots of Damn moments on the way so be prepared to fangirl uncontrollably. Concerning Phil and Lily, you'll see soon.**

 **Chapter 26**

Thursday and Friday were both work days so basically all I did was work and do laundry, and of course curl up in a ball and watch anime with Dan and Phil. It was actually starting to grow on me now that I have finally managed to read the words fast enough to understand what they're saying. I blame Lily.

Other than that I didn't really do much, nor did I actually talk to Dan or Phil much. Usually within fifteen minutes of sitting on the couch with the guys, I fell asleep… mostly on Dan. He makes a very good pillow.

Friday morning I woke up earlier than I ever wanted to on my day off, 6am. I went downstairs with my phone and just laid on the couch until I heard the guys up and moving around. Around nine, Dan came in with his laptop and nearly sat on my head when in the process of assuming the browsing position. Not long after, Phil also joined us.

The three of us didn't move until around noon when my phone, that had some way made its way under Dan's butt, started to vibrate signaling I had a text. The start it gave Dan was very amusing but my amusement was short lived.

I opened the text from Lily to find a picture of her taken in front to her full length mirror. She looked amazing but the thing that really got me was what she was wearing over her light blue shirt.

"That bitch stole my jacket." I said a little louder than my intended whisper.

"What?" Dan asked.

"Lily stole my jacket." I said handing my phone to him so he could see for himself.

He just nodded and looked back to his computer. I am so going to kill her when I go home for Christmas. A few minutes later Dan turned to me.

"Did you ever open the packages on your bed?" he asked.

"No, they were just the two I sent. Candles and stuff from my shopping trip." I replied.

"No I mean the big one." He said.

I thought back to when I first got home. There was a third package on my bed that I didn't send but I was too tired to open it or anything. Then with all of the work stuff and falling asleep on the couch most nights, I didn't even think to open .

"I never opened it." I said.

I grabbed Dan by the hand and pulled him with me. Phil was hot on our heels. All of a sudden, the feeling of Christmas and opening gifts had taken me over and I couldn't wait to see what was in the package. Once I got to my room the feeling dissipated.

The package was from Lily and I was mad at her right now so I didn't want to open it, but my curiosity had been peaked. I needed to know what was in that package.

The three of us sat on the floor and pulled the box to us. Dan grabbed my house keys off my bedside table and used those to cut into the box. We were then showered in a rain of foam peanuts. I'm gonna kill her then bring her back so I can kill her again. Those foam peanuts are a pain in the ass to clean and that bitch stole my favorite jacket.

Once we made it through the ocean of fucking foam peanuts, and my multiple sighs and eye rolls, we came across a black hard case that I knew contained an instrument. I pulled it out while Dan and Phil cleared a spot on the floor so I could set it down and open in.

I unhooked the latches, and what I found inside made me want to cry and kill Lily and now Ian.

"Why did they send you a guitar?" Phil asked confused.

Dan on the other hand just kind of looked at me with a smug look like he knew why I had a guitar. The look he was giving me instilled a feeling of dread. Did he know I was musically inclined?

"That bitch stole my jacket and sent me a guitar." I said at barely a whisper.

I could feel the tears welling up in my eyes. This was the same guitar that I had put on hold at the music store. Lily and Ian bought the guitar I wanted. Inside the case under the guitar was a note from Lily and Ian.

 _Happy Birthday. We knew how much you wanted this and Ian has always wanted to teach you. He was going to buy the whole thing for you but I didn't know what to get you so I told him I would write the note if I could buy half. Then when we went to buy it, Ben would only let us pay a hundred each. He said the rest was a gift to you. I love you and even though you hate your birthday, I hope this on is the best you have so far._

 _Love always,_

 _Lily 3_

 _P.s. I'm stealing your jacket. Happy birthday!_

Her note made the welled up tears overflow, and the last line made me snort a little. I had just managed to pull myself together when Phil said that he found another note amongst the stupid fucking foam peanuts.

 _Sammie,_

 _I suck at cards but I felt like even though Lily is doing one, it would mean more if I did one. I just wanted to say that I really wish you had shown some interest in the guitar sooner. Like when you were still living in the states, but now this gives me an excuse to skype you once a week._

 _You are the best little sister anyone could have ever asked for. I consider you not just to be my little sister, but also one of my best friends. Nah you are my best friend. You talk me out of all the stupid things I almost attempted a few times._

 _I hope that someday you will come to enjoy your birthday because I for one, really enjoy celebrating you. If it weren't for you I could possibly be in jail or Dad would have killed me. I'm so glad you came home for your birthday and yeah I suck at writing notes._

 _I love you, you little treble maker,_

 _Ian_

 _P.s. Lily is making me help her steal your jacket. I couldn't say no so I owe you one jacket. Love you._

Once again, my eyes welled up and over flowed. Ian was right, he did suck at notes, but he was also right that it meant more for him to write a note. I felt bad that now I have to kill them both for stealing my jacket and the STUPID FUCKING FOAM PEANUTS.

"I don't understand, why did they sent you a guitar. You don't even play, do you?" Phil asked.

Dan was once again staring at me with a smirk on his face. I hung my head knowing I would finally have to tell them.

"No Phil, I can't play the guitar but I can teach myself if I really want to." Phil looked at me confused.

"But I thought you said you couldn't read sheet music." said Phil.

I took a deep breath.

"I've been lying. From the age of six I've been in voice lessons and I've experimented with a ton of different instruments. There was a time in my life where I was expected to get a scholarship to Julliard, a musical college in New York." I said without looking at either of them.

"Sam, for some reason I just don't believe you." Phil said.

I looked up and Dan had pulled his phone out of his pocket.

"I have proof that she can do all of that. Sorry Sammie but Lily sent me videos of you at the piano. I know you can play. I understand you not wanting to tell anyone but I do feel like kind of an idiot for trying to teach you." said Dan opening a video and giving the phone to Phil.

It was when Lily and I went for dinner at my parents and she made me wear that blue dress. I was playing Pyramid Song by Radiohead. I did pretty well if I do say so myself. Especially seeing as I was playing it from memory and I haven't been able to really practice.

"How long have you known?" I asked looking at Dan.

"I'm pretty sure she recorded it and then sent it to me." he replied.

I could feel myself growing redder and redder by the second. Yet another reason the kill Lily the second I see her.

"Wow Sam, you're amazing. Why didn't you tell us?" Phil asked.

"Phil, I'll tell you later. Sam you need you go and shower if we're going to catch our train to Brighton." said Dan.

The guys stood and started leaving my room. Just before he left Dan turned to me.

"I just wanted to tell you that you have an amazing voice. Please, don't fake singing bad anymore, in front of any of our friends." He said.

All I could do is nod. He was just about to close the door when I remembered that I had something for him.

"Oh Dan, do you still have your keyboard?" I asked.

"Yeah, why?"

"Well I got the cord you needed for it. I was thinking that if it still works, we could set it up in the lounge. While you were away I attempted to play the piano in your room but it was very painful to listen to. I was just thinking that if you set it up in the lounge, I could teach you to read sheet music in exchange for you letting me use it." I said mumbling at the end.

"Yeah, I'll set it up in the lounge." said Dan and then he closed the door behind him.

I got out my clothes and then headed to the shower. I didn't take a long time getting ready because I wasn't sure when the train left, I left that to the guys. In a few hours I was going to be in Brighton, one of my favorite places in the UK.

Dan and Phil both had gift bags containing what I assumed to be gifts and we made our way to the station. The ride was only about an hour so I didn't think to bring my laptop but once we made it on to the train I realized I should have grabbed it.

"Here." said Dan pulling my laptop out of his overnight bag. "I figured you wouldn't grab it but I thought you may end up wanting it while on the train."

We didn't really talk after that and before we knew it the train pulled into the station. The three of us called an Uber and gave the driver Zoe's address.

When we walked through the door, I realized that we weren't the first ones there. Zoe was the first to get to me and she wrapped me into a hug.

"Happy Birthday." She said.

"Thank you."

"Uh, where do you want me to put the presents for now?" Dan interrupted.

"Oh, I'll take those." said Alfie coming up behind me.

Before taking the presents he also hugged me and wished me happy birthday. Zoe then led the three of us into the lounge where everyone else was gathered. I managed to see Niomi, Marcus, Tanya, and Jim before I was engulfed in a bear hug by Louise.

"Lou, can't breathe." I said and then I felt someone hugging my leg.

Louise let me go and when I looked down I saw that Darcy was hugging me too and when she realized that Louise let go, so did she.

"I haven't seen you in ages. We need to catch up on things but I can't stay long. I have to take Darcy home but I wanted to come see you. Oh and I brought a friend and she brought a friend." said Louise leading me over to the couch.

"Sam, this is Dodie and her roommate Evan. They do YouTube as well. You should hear Dodie sing. She is incredible." Louise continued on talking.

I heard Dan snort in the corner when singing came up. I turned to glare him but when we made eye contact, I couldn't help but return his smile.

There were a few people I hadn't met before and they turned out to be Alfie's sister and her boyfriend. Poppy and I got on quite well once we realized that we had a lot of things in common, including blogging.

Louise was right about Dodie having a very good voice, I realized while they were all singing me happy birthday. Zoe had the cake special made for me and it was probably the coolest cake I had ever seen.

It was black to white ombre. Black starting at the top and it was vanilla on the inside that had been dyed a gray color. I couldn't help but laugh as I cut the first piece of cake and the inside was revealed.

"Hey, at least it matches our aesthetic." Dan whispered into my ear causing me to let out a snort.

Hilarity ensued when we realized that the black frosting stained your teeth. Many selfies were taken. One of my favorites was on with Zoe. She focused in onto just our mouths and I gave her the go ahead to post it to Instagram.

Lots of people asked who I was but she didn't reply to anyone. Dan and Phil had told her about how I had planned on being in some of their videos in the future but right now we were going to make the subscribers suffer with curiosity until I felt like I wanted people to know who I was.

Dodie had brought a ukulele with her and just started playing around with some cords. I recognized the song and then I realized why Dodie looked so familiar. I had stumbled across some of her videos.

After presents were opened we went back to the lounge and started a game of monopoly. I went bankrupt within the first twenty minutes of playing the game and Niomi was out shortly after I was.

"So what other presents did you get for your birthday?" Niomi asked attempting conversation.

Everyone's focus was turned on to us as if they wanted to know if their presents were better.

"Um, I got Money from my parents with the expectation that I would go and visit for Christmas. My best friend Lily, got me a dress that'll probably never get the chance to wear because of my perpetual singleness. My brother also got me a dress but I can wear that anytime. My music instructor got me this charm bracelet," I said holding it out to show her. "Then Lily and Ian chipped in with a family friend to buy me a guitar, andstupidfuckingpackingpeanuts" I said the last as a mumble but I'm sure everyone heard me.

Niomi just nodded and everyone went back to playing the board game. Dan on the other hand, who was sitting next to me, let out a quiet snort. The thought of hitting him crossed my mind but I restrained myself.

Niomi and Marcus left after they both went bankrupt. They gave me a candle that I've heard Niomi talk about often and Niomi and I made plans to go on a run on Tuesday morning.

Tanya and Jim were the next to leave after quitting the game, reasoning that they had to get home. I got an awesome box of Tanya's cosmetics which she asked me to talk about on my blog. They also gave me an Emma Hardy product that I've been dying to try.

Then it was Dodie and Evan that left next. Dodie and I swapped phone numbers and she invited me to come and hang out with her sometime. I have to admit that Evan is very cute but nothing compared to Dan. They didn't get me anything but I don't really care.

Louise who left before cake had me open her present early. She got me a few gift certificates to clothes shops in London.

Zoe and Alfie got me a vlogging camera because they want me to try videos on my own. I think they are both crazy but it's nice to have a backup camera is my current one dies. Zoe also gave me a few of her product because the closest store to me was always out and I still haven't gotten to try them.

Phil got me enough candy to last me until Christmas and that is only if I eat candy for every meal. They were all of my favorites. I think Phil is trying to get me fat.

Dan on the other hand just got me something small. I opened it to find five black bracelets. One was just black leather that was braided together. The next was much the same but it had a silver cursive charm that said dream. The next was just a strip of leather connected to a silver cursive love charm. Another was braided leather with an animal charm. Upon closer inspection I noticed that it was a llama. The last was what looked like four pieces of leather weaved into something similar to a braid and there was another animal charm that was the head of a lion.

I think that Dan's gift was by far my favorite. Am I biased? Nah… yeah. I totally am.

Dan, Phil and I had made plans with Zoe and Alfie to stay up all night and watch scary movies, so once every one left, the five of us piled on the couches in the cozy room off the kitchen.

Dan and I were sat on one side then Zoe, Alfie and Phil were on the other side. Zoe put in a movie that I didn't catch the name of and we all, having changed into our pajamas, and cuddled up on the couch with fuzzy blankets.

The scary stuff started happening almost instantly. I hid under the blanket causing Dan to laugh and wrap his arm around me. I then buried my face into his chest.

"I hate scary movies." I said, my voice muffled by Dan's shirt causing everyone to laugh.

I stayed hidden in Dan's shirt for the rest of the movie and I couldn't even appreciate the feel of Dan's arm wrapped around me because I was so scared. Maybe that's a good thing…

Next it was Phil's turn to pick the movie and of all of the movies he could have chosen, it was Paranormal Activity. If I wasn't too terrified to move, I would have hit him.

Somehow I made it through the movie. I don't even know how, but I did it.

Dan and Phil were both going to sleep down stairs on the couches while I got the guest bedroom. Dan told me that the only reason I got the room was because it was my birthday party, otherwise he would have fought me tooth and nail for that room. I didn't say it, but I don't think I'd mind sharing…

Zoe and I headed up to the guest room to talk and catch up. We go comfy on the bed.

"So, how long have you and Dan been a thing?" Zoe said.

I had just been taking a drink of my tea when she said that making me choke.

"What!?" I exclaimed.

"You and Dan." She answered.

"Dan and I are not a thing." I stated.

"Come on, you don't have to keep it from us. We can be discrete about it." She said.

"Zoe, Dan and I, are in absolutely no way in a relationship that is more than friends. Dan doesn't like me like that. How many times do I have to say this? Dan does not like me as anything more than a friend." I said

"Not once in that sentence did you say you didn't like Dan." said Zoe with a smirk.

"I-I I'm not-I don't-I-ugh. You…" Hey look at me, I can make sentences… NOT!

"Sam, it's obvious that you like him. It's equally obvious that he likes you as well but you are both too blind to see that." Said Zoe in a matter of fact way.

"He doesn't like me." I said crossing my arms.

"Fine. How was going home?" she said changing the subject.

I started in on talking about everything I got up to in the US.

"Oh by the way, I have something to tell you. The guys have already found out so I figured I should just tell everyone so here is goes. I don't actually sound like a banshee when I sing. I'm actually pretty good." I admitted.

"I knew you were faking it. No one can actually sound that bad unless you were trying to be that bad." She said.

We both ended up in a fit of giggles. When they subsided, we realized how late it was so we said our goodnights. Almost the instant my head hit the pillow, I was out like a light.

I woke up around nine the next morning and made my way down to the kitchen to find a very sleepy looking Zoe sitting at the table with a cup of tea. I could see Dan still passed out on the couch. Looking at his sleeping form, I couldn't help but smile.

"Wanna wake the guys with breakfast?" I asked.

"Sure. What should we make?" she asked.

"I have the perfect idea." I said with a smirk.

We got all set up and Zoe put on some music. I had a bit of trouble working out her coffee maker so she ended up making me a cup. I got started with the pancake batter while Zoe was cutting up fruit for fruit salad. About every five minutes we had a dance break where we danced around her kitchen to a particularly good song.

Alfie joined us about twenty minutes after I first came out. He sat at the table laughing at Zoe and I for our silly dance moves. I couldn't help but laugh along.

As soon as the first pancake hit the pan, Phil poked his head out of the door.

"Pancakes?" he asked, his hopeful face looking like he was a disembodied head.

Zoe and I were doubled over in laughter which ended in me burning the first pancake. The rest of the pancakes came out much better. I swear.

We had everything done and out on the table but Zoe and I were having too much fun dancing around the kitchen to stop. We even got Alfie up to dance with us. Phil on the other had was just mesmerized by the pancakes.

We were dancing around when suddenly I felt a hand on my hip. I looked up to see Dan. He took my hand and spin me around. The spin made me dizzy and coupled with my inherent clumsiness, disaster ensued. I landed on my butt pulling Dan and Zoe, who I instinctually grabbed to save myself, down to the floor with me.

There was about three seconds of dead silence and then the three of us burst into laughter. The laughter was so infectious that even Alfie and Phil joined in on the laughter.

"Thank god I got all of that on video." said Alfie pointing to the camera he had set up in the cupboards that no one had noticed.

The silence died away.

"Alfie, you know you can't post that, right?" I asked.

"Yeah I know, but I figured that when you're in videos, Zoe could post a collective vlog with you." He explained.

I sighed.

"Okay but be really careful not to post it until then." I said.

He nodded and in less than a minute we were back to normal. Zoe and I figured that was enough dancing for one day and we tucked in to breakfast.

Right after breakfast, Dan, Phil, and I all had to pack up to go home. I didn't get a chance to go to the ocean this time but I was definitely going to have to make plans for that soon. Zoe was going to drive us to the station.

At the platform, I wrapped Zoe into a hug.

"Thank you for my birthday party. I really had a lot of fun. Oh and thank you for making if feel like we were just hanging out instead of it being like and actual party. I appreciate it." I said.

"No problem. See you later." She said.

We got on the train but before going all the way in, I turned to give her one last wave good bye. Zoe is one of the best things I could have ever gained from meeting Dan and Phil, a true friend. No one can beat Lily, but Zoe comes close.

 **As always thank you for reading, subscribing, favoriting, and reviewing.**


	28. Chapter 27

**Thrandu - I would do #updatcember but it only going to happen when I have enough chapters to post twice a week. As of right now, I have one finished and one I'm working on. I'm glad I managed to make you fall in love with Sam. It would feel weird to me to have written Dan and Phil in a relationship with each other first of all because neither of them have actually said they were even gay let alone together, and second because it would feel wrong to write from either of their POVs because I don't know them personally.**

 **AmazingRrrachel - There will be more updates with Sam and friends. You have a long wait when it comes to the end. Even if Sam and Dan get together, the story is going to be a year and a half at least before it ends. You never know when I'll randomly update.**

 **Romanow - The idea did cross my mind but I don't actually have any concrete plans. Not Psychic this time but it is a good idea. I tried to make Dan's gift more special.**

 **Amazingfire24 - You know, there is a simple way to know if I update. Make a profile and subscribe. I'll let you in on a secret, when I get to thirty subscribers, I plan of giving you guys another chapter like I do with the reviews.**

 **Also thanks to MistyRose96 and Ssgcp x2 for reviewing.**

 **Enjoy the chapter ;)**

 **Chapter 27: A Day In The Life Of Dan, Phil, and Roomie**

When we got home from our visit to Brighton, we collapsed onto the couch and didn't move all day except to get the door when our Chinese takeaway came.

"Okay, I think I'm going to go to bed now." I said standing up and stretching when the end credits of the anime episode we were watching came on.

"I've been meaning to ask you something." said Dan before I could leave the room.

"Shoot." I said.

"Well, Phil and I are doing a day in the life video tomorrow. You are such a big part of our lives that it would feel weird for you to not be in it. Don't worry, we won't show your face but I really want you to be in this one." said Dan, his eyes pleading for me to say yes.

I contemplated it for barely a minute before I agreed. The look on Dan's face was totally worth it. I on the other hand was internally freaking out a little. Okay more than a little.

This is the first time I will actually be in a video not as an accident or as extra footage added to the end. I agreed ahead of time that I would be in this video. I know I'm going to be in it before we even start to shoot it.

I turned and left the lounge and made my way up the stairs to my room. What did I do when I got there you ask. Well I cleaned. If there was any possibility that someone was going to see my room, it had to be cleaned and as of right now, I still hadn't even unpacked from going home and there were STUPIDFUCKINGFOAMPACKINGPEANUTS EVERYWHERE!

Once I was finally happy with the way my room looked and every single last packing peanut was found, I got in bed and I swear I fell asleep before I even laid down.

 **Third POV**

Phil woke up earlier that morning than he intended to but he turned on the camera anyway.

"Good morning. I had the weirdest dream," he started.

The dream had to do with a gorilla and a really tiny car.

"Okay so I guess we should go and see if Dan is awake." said Phil opening his door and heading to Dan's room.

"Daniel…" said Phil walking in to Dan's room and pointing the camera at him.

"Okay, that's the scariest thing I've ever seen this early in the morning." said Dan with a laugh.

"So are we going to go and wake up Roomie?" Phil asked.

"The same way I wake her up every time I get the chance." said Dan with a smirk.

Phil turned off the camera and left the room so that Dan could get dressed.

"Okay let's go get her." said Dan now dressed in sweat pants and his Yeezus shirt.

They made their way to the stairs and then Phil turned the camera on as Dan started climbing the stairs. Dan turned back and put his finger to his lips then turned and continued up the stairs to Sam's room. He stopped at the door and knocked. When he didn't hear anything he slowly opened the door.

You could see that there was someone under the blankets on the bed. Dan couldn't help but think, thank god Sam sleeps with her head covered.

As promised, Dan goes to wake Sam in the way that he has ever since they were friends. He jumps on her and proceeds to tickle her.

"Ahhhh, Daaaaaaaaan!" Sam screamed and then is overcome with laughter.

"Daaaaan, stooooop." said Sam now laughing too hard to yell.

She turned over causing Dan to fall off the bed.

"That's what you get for being a jerk." said Sam, her voice muffled because her head was still covered.

Phil turned the camera off and then told Sam. She popped out of the blanket and looked over the side of the bed.

"Serves you right." She said and then stuck her tongue out at Dan.

"Sam, I know we just had them, but will you make pancakes?" Phil asked pleadingly like he expected her to say no.

"Why not. Now get out so I can change." She said.

"You might want to run a brush through your hair too." said Dan with a smirk.

"I wouldn't have needed to if you weren't a jerk." said Sam with a glare.

The guys went down stairs and Phil started making coffee. He pulled out his camera and started talking to it.

"Ever since Roomie moved in we have had to make coffee with this contraption. Apparently she's too good for instant." said Phil.

"I'm not complaining." Dan chimed in.

"Anyway, we aren't having cereal today and it feels kind of weird because what's a day in the life without cereal. Except for Japan. That doesn't count."

"Phil, you can't just not count something because it doesn't fit with your statement." said Dan.

"Fine, anyway, the reason we are not having cereal is because Roomie is making breakfast." said Phil turning off the camera.

It didn't take long for Sam to join the guys in the kitchen and start pulling the ingredients for pancakes out.

"Okay Phil, get out." said Sam with a sweet and innocent smile.

"What?! Why?" exclaimed Phil.

"Phil, it's a secret recipe for a reason. If I tell you, it won't be a secret anymore." said Sam now with a smirk.

The whole time, Dan was in the back ground laughing his ass off at the look on Phil's face.

"You too Dan." said Sam turning to look at Dan.

Dan didn't say anything but he just nodded. He led a sulking Phil out of the kitchen. Once the guys went into the lounge, Sam got to work on the pancakes. When the batter was done, same went into the lounge.

"Hey Phil, I have a really cool idea for a shot that you could use as like a segway between whatever you have shot already to a shot of you guys eating the pancakes or something. I don't know, never mind." said Sam turning and going back to the kitchen.

"No Sam," said Dan getting up and following Sam into the kitchen. "Tell us your idea. It might be really good."

Sam explained the shot to Dan and Phil. They both agreed that it was in fact a good idea.

Dan had the camera in his hand like he was going to start recording.

"Okay let me just get the pancake going. The first one may not come out so good so don't record that one but the second on should be good." said Sam.

She was starting to get more and more nervous as it came closer to Dan turning on the camera. She knew it was just her hands, but this was actually the first time she was going to be voluntarily in a video. There was also a bit of excitement hidden within her nervous anxiety.

Dan turned on the camera and Sam started pouring the batter into the pan. The shot was actually really cool. Dan planned on making it jumpcutty so it would be lit a clip of pouring the batter in then one from above of the pancake cooking then flipping it and then putting it on a plate with a few shots of the stack of pancakes as it grew.

Dan agreed that it was a good idea to record the shots and Sam couldn't help smile.

"Hey, you wanna see something cool?" Sam asked.

"Sure, do you mind if record it?" Dan asked.

"I don't care, just stand behind me." said Sam.

She started a new pancake in the pan and let it cook a little. When it was ready she asked Dan if he was recording. Once Dan said yes, Sam readied herself for what she was about to do. Either this was going to be really cool, or a really cool blooper.

Sam loosened the pancake from the pan and then she tossed the pancake up into the air and caught it in the pan. She even managed not to make a mess of the pancake.

Once the pancakes were done, she and Dan made their way into the lounge. Dan with the pancakes and syrup, Sam with three glasses, somehow wedged between her arm and torso, orange juice, and a bowl of blueberries and strawberries for her. It's safe to say that Sam was sick of pancakes.

Without any warning, Phil started recording.

"Okay guys, so Roomie made pancakes. Look at the beautiful circular puffy clouds of goodness. These are the best pancakes I have ever had." said Phil then he shoved half of a pancake in his mouth.

Phil also managed to get a candid shot of Dan letting out a moan at his first bite of pancake. Both Phil and Sam couldn't help but laugh at the look on Dan's face when he noticed Phil was recording him.

"Okay Sam, I have missed your pancakes so much since you've been gone. You are never allowed to leave unless you leave the freezer fully stocked with pancakes." said Phil between shoving very large pieces of pancake into his mouth.

"Phil, I could leave the entire freezer stacked full of pancakes and I'm almost positive that they would not last you more than a couple of days. That and you'll probably be ten feet wide when I get back." said Sam with a laugh.

Phil couldn't say anything because he had just shoved the entirety of the last pancake into his mouth. He reminded her of a chipmunk or a hamster with their cheek packed full of food.

"Are you planning to save that for winter?" Sam asked sarcastically.

Phil nodded his head and tried really hard not to smile knowing he would lose the pancake out of his mouth if he did.

"So Daniel, what is on the agenda for today?" said Sam in her best posh British accent.

"Well Samantha, I don't really know. Should we go shopping or something?" Dan asked.

"I don't know. How is that going to work with our system?" said Sam dropping the accent.

"Well eventually the subscribers will see your face, I think we can be a bit more relaxed. Plus the last few times we went out, we didn't run into any subscribers." said Dan.

Sam was very hesitant to agree to this because she has always been so used to hiding in the shadows. That and she was actually having fun with the subscribers not being able to see her face. At the same time though, she wanted to go out with her friends and not have to worry about being spotted by random phans that pop up.

She explained this to the guys and Dan came up with the idea that she could be behind the camera. That way, if they did run into subscribers they could say that they hired her or something to carry around the camera or something stupid like that.

Sam didn't think that anyone would buy it but she figured why not give it a try. She agreed to it because she could just imagine the disappointment on Dan's face if she had said no and she definitely didn't want to see that.

The tree finished eating breakfast and Sam and Dan made their way to the couch while Phil made is way to go and shower. They had been sitting on the couch for a few minutes. Sam was thinking about how her birthday hadn't been that bad. She looked over at Dan and then she remembered something. She then turned and punched Dan square in the arm.

"Ow, what was that for?!" she said Dan grabbing his arm.

"That was for saying Happy Birthday to me on my birthday." said Sam with a scowl.

She felt bad because she had hit him harder than she meant to and then when the guilty look came across his face, she just wanted to hug him and apologize.

"I thought you accepted my apology for being a prick." He said.

"I did but the happy birthday thing is something we have always done. You promised me you would never say happy birthday to me on my birthday. The one day I hoped to not have a message from you is the one where you sent one." she replied.

Dan leaned over and hugged hugging her. Any anger that she had left dissipated with the hug.

"I'll make it up to you, I promise." said Dan still hugging her.

"Oh yeah? How?" she said with a smirk.

"I'll think of something." said Dan with a matching smirk.

The two held eye contact for about seven seconds with Dan still hugging Sam. She couldn't help but look at his lips and lick her own in desire. Then Dan winked ruining the moment.

"Oh gosh, inappropriate winking, god damn it. I'm so sorry- Ow what was that for?" said Dan getting another punch from Sam.

"Your inappropriate winking thing is contagious. A few days ago I was thinking to myself and for some reason, out of nowhere I just winked." said Sam.

Dan was thrown into a fit of laughter at Sam's expense. If she hadn't have hit him so hard the first time, she would have hit him again now.

"I'm going to my room to get dressed." said Sam getting up and leaving a laughing Dan still sitting on the couch.

When Dan finally recovered from his laughing fit, he also made his way to his room to get dressed for the day.

Not long after, the three met in the lounge. Dan was dressed in his typical all black. He was wearing his circle shirt which Sam so much wanted to steal but didn't dare to. Phil was wearing a shirt that looked like a purple and blue galaxy with the usual black skinny jeans. Sam was also dressed in all black. Black skinny jeans, all black Converse, and the black long sleeve shirt that she got from Brandy Melville.

"Okay, are we all ready?" Phil asked taking out the camera.

Dan and Sam both nodded while Phil handed the camera to Sam and he then proceeded to tell her how to work it.

"Phil, I know how to use a camera." said Sam.

"Sorry." said Phil taking a step back.

"Okay, let's get this show on the road. I'm sick of just standing around." said Sam.

She handed the camera to Phil so that he could start the footage while Sam ran to get a jacket. She searched and searched for her leather jacket but couldn't find it anywhere. Then when she remembered where it was she exclaimed, "That Bitch!"

She grabbed a black jacked that she hardly ever wore then made her way back down to the lounge.

Upon entering the lounge, Phil turned to her and said "You know we heard that, right? It's going to show up in the video."

"Let me guess, you can't cut it out or bleep it because you were talking." said Sam in an unamused monotone voice.

Phil just nodded and Sam sighed and shook her head. Dan on the other hang chuckled. Both Phil and Sam glared at him and he stopped. Phil went back to talking to the camera.

"Okay, so I've accepted Dan's all black slash monochrome wardrobe but I don't know if I can handle this." said Phil turning the camera on to Dan and Sam to show their outfits and then turned it back onto himself.

"If this keeps up, the whole flat will soon be monochrome." said Phil.

Dan and Sam both had to stifle a laugh. Phil then handed the camera to Sam. Sam turned the camera on Dan and he explained.

"So for this day in the life we wanted to include Roomie because she had such a huge part in our daily life. To keep her off camera, we have come up with her being behind the camera."

"So on the agenda for today, is a shopping trip." Phil added.

The three made their way to the stairs. Phil went first and then Dan with Sam bringing up the rear.

"For all of the fangirls out there, this is for you." She whispered just loud enough for the camera to pick it up but not loud enough for the guys to hear.

She then zoomed in on Dan's butt and whispered "You're welcome." then zoomed back out.

She then turned the camera off until the three made it to the underground.

"Okay so, Roomie hates the underground and it just so happens that there are no places to sit." said Dan with a smirk to the camera.

"I hate you." said Sam while glaring at Dan, not that the camera could see.

"No you don't, you love me. Don't lie." said Dan in a teasing way.

"Only because I have to because of that one time you saved me on the subway." Sam countered.

Dan just gave a "yeah, sure" look. Then Phil came into view and said "These two have this same conversation every time we have to ride the underground. If you haven't already guessed it, Roomie really, really hates the underground."

Then they started to move. Sam was caught off guard and ended up clinging to Dan to keep herself from face planting on the floor.

"Not this really reminds me of when I saved you from the underground." said Dan.

"We are cutting this part out." said Sam glaring at Dan.

Once again, his face was terribly close to hers and she couldn't tear her eyes away from his lips. Then they jolted to a halt and Sam hit her head on the poll they were standing by.

"Motherfucker, oh god, OWW!" said Sam causing both Dan and Phil to laugh.

"I so wish we could keep that in." said Dan.

Sam glared at him.

The rest of the day was filled with lots of shenanigans. Including Sam's search for the bathroom which resulted in her exclaiming "I really need to pee" while Phil was recording something. Little to her knowledge, the guys were totally planning on keeping that in.

While Dan was of doing something, Phil and Sam picked up some masks so that if she did have to be on camera, she could hide her face. There were some truly grotesque ones that she planned on scaring Dan with.

The actually shopping trip wasn't that successful when it came to clothes but they ended up going into a book store. Sam got a lot of books and the guys both teased her about it.

They didn't film on the way home because Sam was too lazy and Phil just didn't want to, but Sam did however film the trek up the stairs making sure to get a few really good shots of the guys butts.

Once in the flat, the camera was turned off and the shopping taken care of. Sam ditched her jacket and shoes then made her way down to the lounge where she laid on the couch. Not long after Dan joined her. She slid down so Dan could sit in his spot then she rested her forehead on Dan's leg and closed her eyes.

"Aww I think we tired Roomie out." said Phil coming into the lounge.

Sam knew he must have been filming because he didn't say her name so she just flipped him off.

"I have to blur that you know." said Phil.

Sam just shrugged her shoulders and went back to relaxing. Dan opened his laptop and started scrolling Tumblr while Sam laid there and scrolled through Instagram on her phone.

This is how most of the afternoon went with not much filming because the three of them just sat in the lounge. Phil was in the chair reading a book, and Sam and Dan were still doing the same as before.

Eventually Phil came over and handed the camera to Sam and said "Let's go in the kitchen."

Dan, Sam and Phil all crammed into the kitchen, which wasn't that big with all three of them in there. Phil passed Sam the camera and she started to film.

"So what are we having?" she asked.

"What do we have?" said Dan turning to Phil.

"We have the stuff for curry or stir fry." said Phil.

"Ugh, I'm so sick of stir fry." Sam sighed.

"Curry it is." said Dan.

Dan got started cooking and Sam filmed him. He sang a song about cutting the vegetables and Sam danced around the kitchen while Phil laughed at the two of them.

Sam passed the camera off to Phil so that she could go and grab one of the masks. She picked a truly horrifying one and then made her way back to the kitchen. She quietly snuck up behind Dan and grabbed him and made a noise.

Dan jumped a good foot in the air and then turned and hugged Sam.

"I swear to god… I'm going to squeeze the life out of you." said Dan, clearly having been terrified but plastering a very wide, kind of fake looking smile on his face.

Sam started to laugh but Dan's grip around her grew tighter and she stopped

"Daaaan, let go of me. Can't. Breathe. Phil… help." said Sam totally over reacting.

Phil just stood there laughing and trying to keep the camera from moving too much.

Then Sam went limp and Dan got a really worried look on his face.

"S-Roomie, are you okay?" said Dan.

Sam didn't move and then when Dan looked away she jumped him again.

Dan just smiled and shook his head.

"I cannot believe you." said Dan taking the camera from Phil and pointing it on Phil and Sam who had a hold of the counter to keep themselves from falling on the floor in laughter.

"I will get you back." said Dan while Phil and Sam were still laughing.

Dan turned the camera off and Sam took off the mask.

"Thank god, it was getting hard to breathe in there." said Sam still with traces of laughter in her voice.

"I'm sorry, I couldn't help myself." She said again making her way over to a pouting Dan and giving him a hug.

"Don't tell me you wouldn't have done it too if you got the chance." said Sam.

Dan's pout turned into a smile and he nodded. "Yeah, you're probably right."

Dan finished the food than the three made their way to the lounge. Sam thought that the food looked really nice so she took a picture with her nice camera.

"Instagram?" Dan asked.

She nodded and he just shook his head.

Sam once again turned the camera on and showed the food.

"Okay, put the camera away so I can stuff my face." said Dan.

Sam turned off the camera. "You better keep that part in."

They all dug into their food and then when they were done, they turned on an anime Dan and Phil had been watching. While at home, Lily had made Sam watch this on with her so she had already seen it. Sam ended up falling asleep on Dan about halfway through the episode.

"Hey Dan, I think we tired her out." said Phil quietly so as to not wake up Sam.

"Yeah." said Dan looking down at her with a smile.

What Sam and Dan didn't know is that throughout the day, he had been taking pictures and videos of the two when they did cute things and sending them to Lily.

 _"_ _Oh my god, it's like they are too blind to see that they like each other."_ Lily sent back after receiving a picture of Sam asleep on Dan.

Phil had heard recently all about how Lily likes Sam brother and Sam has a growing suspicion that her brother likes Lily back and neither of them could see it. He didn't say anything to Lily but he had a feeling Sam felt the same way about Lily and her brother.

Phil decided that they should probably end the day in the life. Dan woke up Sam and they made their way into Dan's room. For the ending Sam had come up with a funny idea and she got a brown paper bag and had Dan draw a face on it.

Sam sat between the guys this the paper bag over her head and the guys said goodbye while Sam just sat there and didn't move or say anything. That was the end of the day in the life video.

Sam grabbed her laptop and hung out in Dan's room while he started to edit the footage. She on the other had was starting a blog post about her experience of college in the UK verses the US.

Sam ended up falling asleep again, this time on Dan's bed. When Dan finally decided to go to bed, he didn't wake her up. Instead, he just climbed in beside her. It was the best sleep either of them had had in a long time.

 **asdfghjkl**

Back in the US, Lily was screaming at her best friend.

"Hey Lily, what's wrong?" Ian asked coming over and taking a seat next to her on the couch handing her, her drink and the bowl of freshly made popcorn.

"Your sister is being… ugh." Lily exclaimed.

"What did she do now, demand that you send her jacket back?" said Ian with a smirk.

"Yes but that's not why I'm annoyed. Phil, one of the guys that Sam lives with, has been sending me picture and videos of Sam and Dan doing cute things that obviously point out that they like each other and they are both too blind to see it. Its infuriating." said Lily.

Lily had sent almost the exact same thing to Phil after the picture he sent of Sam asleep on Dan.

"Speaking of my sister, I need to Skype her so we can start those guitar lessons." said Ian. "Have you talked to her recently?"

"No, all she does is yell at me about her jacket. I might have to send it back just so I can get her off my case." Lily replied.

"Are you really going to send it back?" Ian aske skeptically.

"Not a chance." Lily replied.


	29. Chapter 28

**I know I'm late but Thursday was Thanksgiving and my family would give me hell and call me things like bitch-o-la and cuntus until they got me off the computer. In my family this names seem to be terms of endearment. It was totally worth it because I whooped ass at Phase 10 (a card game that we get quite competitive over and I don't win at often).**

 **AmazingRrrachel - How dare you be late (I'm such a hypocrite ^-^). I am in fact alive and having to roll around the room because of the food I ate. I'm saying it's a food coma. that's why I'm late. I ate too much turkey. let's go with that.**

 **Yukigirl - The standing agreement is that you have to go to my Lily's story and leave a review proving that you read at least the first couple of chapters (after the second it may possibly hook you). Then I'll write your oneshot. I really want to write this so you should really leave a review. I have it planned out and everything.**

 **Danisnotonfire's Twin Sister - I make it my personal mission to make people lough out loud in public and cause catastrophic accidents when it comes to people possibly drinking. I want that shit to shoot out of your nose. (I do it to myself when I go back and re-read chapters).**

 **Also thank you to MistyRose96 for reviewing.**

 **Happy reading!**

 **Chapter 28**

 **Dangirl POV**

OH! MY! GOD! She did not do this. I can't believe she did this. She made them put her in their day in the life. I cannot. I can't even…

He's on her bed for Christ's sake. That is so inappropriate.

Pancakes! PANCAKES! This must be the only reason Phil likes her. It has to be.

She is clearly flirting with my man. I have to kill her. It's the only way to make any of this better. First I just need to find out who she is but when I do, she's going to wish she stayed in her own country.

She's fucking cuddling with him on the couch! How could she think that this is an okay thing to do? I hate her and Americans and America!

As if she's just sitting there in between them like there isn't anything wrong. I bet she has a fucking shit eating grin under that stupid fucking paper bag.

She must be really ugly to have to hide her face like that. Before I kill her I'm going to laugh at her because of how ugly she is.

There was a knock on my door so I went to answer it. It was the asshole that lived below me.

"Could you please stop screaming? My wife jut pit the baby to sleep." He said.

I wanted to hit him, but instead I smile sweetly and apologized.

Was I really saying all of that out loud?

 **asdfghjkl**

 **Sam POV**

I woke up to being really warm and with what felt like an arm around me but I was too tired to open my eyes. I tried to remember what happened last night.

It felt like I was still in my jeans and the Dan's sweater that I threw on because I was cold last night. Dan… I'm still on Dan's bed. Does that mean the arm around me is attached to Dan. Of course it's attached to Dan, you idiot. Who else would be in his bed?

I felt movement beside me. Is Dan waking up? I felt his arm move and him stretch beside me. Oh God, I could feel the muscles move beneath his skin where he was still touching me. I could have sworn that someone turned the heating up just now. It's really hot.

Then I felt his arm snake its way back around my waist. Dan's chest was pressed against my back and I could feel him breathing into my hair.

OH MY GOD! I have to be dreaming. That's the only explanation for this.

I didn't dare move because I wanted this to last forever. I was afraid that if I did move, Dan would let go of me.

If there is a God, prove it to me now by letting this last forever.

"Sam." said Dan shaking my shoulder.

I turned my head toward Dan's voice.

"Come on Sammie, it's time to wake up." He said.

I could feel his breath on my ear. I had to suppress a shiver.

"I dun wanna." I mumbled.

I really hope that he doesn't know I was already awake.

"It's almost noon. If we don't get up soon, Phil will come looking for us and honestly, I don't want to have to go through the teasing that is bound to come from him finding us here." said Dan.

Once again I could feel his voice brush across my ear. Okay Sammie, pull it together. Under no circumstance are you to turn over and kiss Dan.

I groaned.

Good, now just roll off the bed and get up. Come on, you can do this. Put distance between you and Dan.

I rolled. Instead of the graceful roll to standing position I envisioned, I just rolled onto the floor. I laid on the floor and stared at the ceiling.

Hey at least I'm away from Dan and now I can't kiss him.

"Are you okay?" said Dan with a chuckle leaning over the side of the bed to look at me.

"I'm fine. I was just, ya know, checking to make sure gravity was still working." I said.

I used to have these days where I wished that the ground would swallow me up. It usually happened after I did something particularly embarrassing or amazingly stupid. Now, I just wanted it the happen to keep me from just sitting up and kissing that beautiful smirking face above me.

I rolled over onto my stomach so I didn't have to look at his face anymore and got to my feet.

"Well?" Dan asked.

"Well what?" I countered.

"Does gravity still work?" He asked with a smirk.

"Unfortunately." I said shrugging my shoulders and frowning a little.

I left his room as fast as I could without making it look like I was running until I hit the stairs where I actually did run. When I got to my room I closed the door and leaned against it to catch my breath. To my surprise, I didn't actually need to. Maybe I'm fitter than I thought I was.

I slid down my door until I was sitting on the floor. Either I need a longer break from him, or I need to never leave the country again because for some reason, I'm even more prone to accidently kissing him that I was before I left. It's almost happened three times now.

Okay maybe I more than just like him. Maybe I can't beat this crush. This crush is going to beat me. Eventually I won't be able to hold myself back and I'm going to lose my best friend and then I'll have to go home and watch my mother gloat in my face while I take classes at a community college getting a degree in something I'll never use and then I'll have to work in the diner for the rest of my life and I'll die owning money to some stupid…

Okay, stop. Breathe. No, none of that is going to happen. Phil and even Lily have said that he wouldn't get mad. I may have to move out but I could handle that. It might be awkward for a few days but we would eventually go back to normal.

Still doesn't mean I'm going to kiss him any time soon.

I checked the time and realized that if I didn't leave now, I would be late for my running date with Niomi. Before running out the door, I quickly changed then grabbed my phone, Chapstick, house keys, and forty bucks that I shoved in my bra. Hey it was for an emergency and money is money. Oh well if someone has to deal with a little boob sweat.

I met Niomi in the same park that we ran in before and without a word we just started running.

I did amazingly well this time around. While I may not have been able to completely keep up with Niomi causing her to slow down a little, I did make it the whole route and then I even jogged to the spot where we laid and caught our breath. It may have been because I didn't try to talk though.

"Did you run while you were away?" Niomi asked from her spot in the grass beside me.

"No but I did have to walk almost everywhere and we did a lot. Waterpark. Beach. Mall. Lots of walking." I said.

Our conversation ended and not long after that, we parted ways. When I got back to the flat, I ran up all of the flights of stairs btw, I went up to my room, grabbed a pair of plain black leggings and a random black t-shirt and then ran back down to take a shower.

I checked and double checked for shower spiders. No way did I want Dan, or Phil for that matter, to have to see me naked today.

Okay, I was promised a chill day. We're going to sit in the lounge and watch TV all day while Dan scrolls through Tumblr and I look over his shoulder when he's not paying attention.

I will not, under any circumstances, look at Dan's lips or his hands, or any other part of his body that I want to touch with mine. Okay that didn't sound right. I would saw that it sounded better in my head but this kind of is my head.

Way before I was ready, the hot water ran out. I took my time drying off and getting dressed. I really just want to lay face down on my rug and contemplate why all of this is so meaningful to me when we are inevitable going to die and in a thousand years none of my petty worries with have amounted to anything.

I bet they wouldn't notice if I just never showed up in the lounge. I could just sneak up to my room and… of course this is when my stomach growls. Why is eating a thing.

I made my way upstairs to the kitchen. Of course we don't have anything I can grab and go and I really, really don't want to cook anything.

I could just run to the store and get something. Ya know, postpone having to spend any actual time with Dan.

I went to the lounge where I found Phil flicking thought the channels and Dan scrolling Tumblr.

"So we don't have anything to eat. I'm going to run to the store and pick something up. Do either of you need anything?" I asked being polite but not actually caring what they needed.

"Actually I need a few things for a video. Can I just come with you?" said Dan.

My stomach dropped. How could I say no?

"Yeah, sure." I said.

I ran upstairs and shoved my feet into my combat boots. Of course I'm wearing socks that's gross. I even walk around barefoot let alone no socks with shoes. That makes your shoes and your feet smell.

This is when I reached for my leather jacket only to grab air. I'm gonna kill her. I swear to God, the next time I'm in that same country, that girl is dead.

Instead I dug my other leather jacket out from the back of my closet. It was all black and it looked amazing but it just didn't fit as well as the on Lily stole but this one would do for now. Once again I grabbed Chapstick, phone, and this time wallet and headed down to the door where Dan was waiting for me.

"So where too first?" Dan asked.

"I don't care but I'm hungry and if I'm not fed soon it will turn into hangry." I said fiddling with my bun making sure it wasn't too lopsided.

"Wait, I just remembered I need a thing." said Phil coming down the stairs at a pace that could be potentially dangerous for everyone involved.

I just wanted to run to the store, grab some yogurt and on the way back possible stop at Starbucks. Now I was going to have to do it while staying at least six feet in front of the guys. I sighed and followed both of them out the door.

Once out on the street, the guys didn't wait for me to go ahead of them. Instead they just started walking. I waited until they got a few feet away before starting to walk myself. It was a few minutes before the guys noticed and then they walked back to me.

"Why are you so far behind?" Dan asked.

"Well the subscribers don't know who I am. Don't you think that it would be a little weird for them to see you with a girl that they have never seen before?" I asked.

"But they're going to find out who you are eventually." Dan countered.

"What happened to teasing the Phandom about who I am?" I said.

"I didn't think about that." He replied.

I pulled out my phone to give me a reason not to look at him. If I look at his eyes for too long, I may lose myself and… nope. I don't want to think about it.

"I have to head to Starbucks. I just got a text from my boss." I lied.

I started in the directing of the coffee shop but Dan stopped me before I got too far.

"What was it you wanted from the shop?" he asked.

"Just some yogurt and fruit." I replied.

"Okay. I'll pick it up for you. I know what you like." He said cutting of my sentence telling him exactly what I wanted.

"Thank you." I said.

Before he could say anything else I ran, more like quickly walked but you get the picture, in the direction of Starbucks. It didn't take me long to get to the very familiar building. I walked in and got in line.

"Hey Sam." I heard Emily say with a wave from behind the counter.

I waved back and gave her a genuine smile. Emily and I have been getting closer recently. Mostly because we have been working some of the same shifts. Starting tomorrow we were actually going to be working six days together. Someone asked her to work a couple days for them putting her on a seven day stretch.

She came out from behind the counter and headed towards me.

"You want your usual?" she asked.

"Of course. When do you go on break?" I questioned.

"'Bout a half hour. If you want to wait, I'll make you a second coffee and we can talk for a bit. I have some gossip for you." She said with a sly smirk.

For some reason the way she relayed gossip to me made it sound really interesting and made me feel less bad about gossiping about people.

Recently she and her boyfriend have been having some troubles and I figured now I would be finding out more details. I was really curious as to what was going to happen with them. That and she and I are almost positive that Eric, one of the Baristas who happens to be working today, is seeing the manager's daughter, Kayla. I know for a fact that the manager dislikes Eric very much but he has no clue that Kayla clearly makes lovey dovey eyes at him when she's around.

"I can't wait to hear all about it." I said with a mirroring smirk.

Emily made her way back behind the counter and I was able to make it one step closer to caffeinating myself. I literally was able to take one step forward. It felt like forever for me to finally make it to the front of the line.

I told Eric my order and I think I got my coffee faster than anyone else though because I'm pretty sure Emily started to do my coffee before I even ordered.. Plus, they totally spelled my name correctly. Perks of working in the Starbucks you order from.

I then made my way to my favorite corner and waited for Emily to go on break. I had finished my coffee ten minutes before Emily showed up.

"It looks like you could use a refill." said Emily setting a cup in front of me and then sitting across from me.

"You are a mind reader." I said grabbing the coffee and taking a sip.

"So, Kayla was here earlier." She said sipping her drink.

"And…" I said vocally nudging her to tell me.

"I may or may not have caught Kayla and Eric in the back room feeling each other up." She said with a smirk.

My jaw dropped and I had no words.

"Please tell me Kevin walked in." I said.

Kevin is the manager.

"No. I guess we have to wait for the next episode of As the Coffee Shop Turns. Wait that is one of those American soaps, right?" said Emily with a laugh.

"As the World Turns is a soap. Although As the Coffee Shop Turns seem like a much more interesting show." I said.

We giggled and people started looking at us but for some reason, instead of getting awkward and embarrassed like usual, I just didn't seem to care.

"Okay so what's going on with you and the boyfriend?" I asked cautiously.

"I no longer have a boyfriend. As I had assumed, he was indeed cheating on me with not just one girl but two. I'm not really sad about it. I don't know why but I'm just done with… dating." said Emily pausing and then speaking slowly.

Her attention was grabbed when the door to the coffee shop opened. I turned to see who had come in.

This was my sanctuary away from everything Dan and Phil related but of course who walks in when I least expect it? Dan and Phil.

"He's cute." I heard Emily say quietly.

Dan made eye contact with me and gave me a smirk.

"Do you know them?" Emily asked.

"Have you ever hear of AmazingPhil or danisnotonfire?" I asked.

"No…" she said confused.

"Then yes I do. They are my roommates." I said.

"Is the cute one single?" she asked.

"Which one are you talking about?" I asked.

If she said Dan, I was totally telling her he had a girlfriend. I am not a good wing woman when it comes to Dan.

"The one with the black hair. He is so cute." She said.

I couldn't help but giggle.

"As far as I know he's single." I said.

"As far as you know? You live with him. You should know if he brings girls home." She said her voice going a bit high pitched.

"Haha. Oh that was a good one." I burst out in laughter.

I noticed Dan and Phil's attention turn to us.

"Sorry, sorry. It's just I've been friends with them for a while and I've never seen either of them go on a date or anything. Just the thought of Phil bringing a girl home is just…" I then dissolved into giggles.

Emily just looked at me.

"Phil is like a second older brother. I love him. He's super sweet and he give amazing hugs. He really is a catch but like I said before. I've known him for a while and I don't think I've ever seen him go on a date." I said.

"So does that mean my chances are slim?" she asked.

"You just said you were done dating for a while." I said

"Yeah well I've changed my mind." She said with a half-smile.

I just shook my head.

"I don't really know, but I don't suggest just approaching him. I mean you could always come and hang out sometime. Now that you don't have a boyfriend to take up all of your time, you and I can catch a movie or something. I'll even invite the guys." I said.

"Wait, did you just offer to be my rebound?" she asked with a smirk.

"Maybe…" I said wiggling my eyebrows causing the both of us to dissolve into a fit of giggles once again.

"Oh, I have to get back to work. I'll see you tomorrow." Emily said getting up after recovering from the giggles.

"Bright and early. Oh by the way can you make me two drinks real quick when you get behind the counter. Here's the money." I said handing her a bill.

"Sure. What am I making?" she asked.

I told her and then texted Phil.

 _"_ _Hey, I already ordered your coffees. Hope you don't mind but the guy behind the counter is really slow. My friend Emily is making your drinks."_ I texted

 _"_ _Okay thanks. You know I only tagged along so that you didn't have to go with Dan by yourself. I saw you sneaking out of his bedroom this morning. Care to share?"_ he asked

 _"_ _I fell asleep while writing and Dan didn't wake me up like I thought he would. I woke up cuddled with him in the bed. I pretended to still be asleep and Dan tried to wake me up. I had an overwhelming urge to kiss him but instead I just fell on the floor."_ I explained.

I watched as Phil tried to hold in a laugh.

 _"_ _It's not funny. Dan then leaned his head over the bed and all I could think about was just sitting up and kissing him. I swear to god I'm never leaving the country again."_ I sent.

Phil had to cover his mouth to hide the smile and when he made eye contact with me, he lost it.

 _"_ _You should have just kissed him."_ He said when he was finally calm enough to type.

Dan was just looking at him like he had gone crazy.

 _"_ _We have had this conversation so many times, Phil. I don't want to kiss him."_ I sent back.

 _"_ _Sam you know you want to kiss him. You just don't want to deal with the aftermath. Please just tell him you like him. I will get on my knees right now and beg if I have to."_ Phil sent back.

 _"_ _Phil, please. With the way I'm going, it'll happen soon."_ I sent.

It felt like I was on the track to accidently kissing him when we both least expected it. Just then Emily came out with the two coffees. Once again, I texted Phil.

 _"_ _I have your coffees so get your asses over here."_

Phil got Dan's attention and they made their way over.

"Okay, I've scoped out the place and I see no fangirls atm. Here are your coffees and I'll meet you at the flat." I said handing the coffees to the boys. I just wanted them to leave before any actual fangirls showed up.

"You know, I think we'll stay and hang out for a while." said Dan.

Was he purposely trying to make me kiss him? I walked off to say goodbye to Emily. If they wouldn't leave, I would. I said a quick goodbye and made my way to the exit.

 _"_ _Where are you going?"_ Dan texted.

 _"_ _Home."_ I replied.

 _"_ _Wait up, I'll walk with you."_ He sent.

 _"_ _Don't bother. I got a taxi."_ I sent back.

I then turned my phone on silent and continued to walk. I was so stuck in my head that I didn't notice the guy walking toward me. Just as I realized a collision was about to happen, it happened.

Next thing I knew, I found myself on the ground with one leg covered in coffee.

"Oh my God, I'm so sorry. Are you okay?" he asked kneeling down on the ground.

This was when I took in his features. He looked… familiar, but at the same time, very cute. He had brown hair styled up into a quiff. He his green eyes were filled with concern and the accent. Irish. Oh. My. Goodness.

"I'm okay. I spend a lot of time on the ground." I said.

Oh god, that sounded so wrong. I closed my eyes and put my hand on my forehead.

"I mean, because I'm literally the clumsiest person ever." I said in a rush.

He laughed. Oh god, his laugh. My knees would have been weak if I wasn't already sitting on the dirty pavement. He stood and offered me his hands. I grabbed it and he helped me up.

Once in a standing position, I brushed my butt and the back of my legs off and out of habit, turned to the closest person to me.

"Am I good?" I asked lifting my jacket and asking if all of the dirt was gone.

"Definitely good." He said with a flirty undertone.

I turned back to face him.

"I'm James, but you can call me Jamie. Sorry about the coffee." He said holding out his hand.

"Sam." I said taking it in mine.

His hands were smooth and warm but I could feel the calluses on his fingertips. He played guitar. How did I know this you ask? Ian and Lily both had these calluses from playing often.

His eyes caught mine and it was like it was just the two of us. All thoughts of my crush on Dan were completely forgotten.

I have a weakness for guys with green eyes. There was a reason I had a little bit of a crush on Connor Franta before he came out. I hate to admit it, but Jamie's eyes were the most beautiful green eyes I had ever seen.

"I uh, I have to run but I'd like to see you again to make up for knocking you over. What I'm trying to say is, can I have your number?" he asked.

Never had I ever before been asked for my number by any guy let alone a very, very cute one. How could I say no?

He pulled a sharpie out of his pocket and I extended my hand. On the back of it, he wrote his number then handed me the sharpie and I did the same. We had exchanged numbers.

I watched as he walked away. He looked back once and made eye contact with me causing me to blush instantly. It seemed like I was rooted on the spot. I couldn't move. A very cute guys just asked me for my number. The only time a cute guy had come up to me asked me for Lily's number.

Finally I snapped out of it and finished my walk home.

What in the hell has gotten into me.

Once I was there I went straight up to my room. I had the urge to do something I haven't wanted to do so badly since before Adam and I broke up when I decided to study abroad in London.

I grabbed my music notebook and a pen then set it on my bed and ran down to the lounge where Dan had setup him keyboard. I grabbed the keyboard and its cords and then lugged it back up to my room then sat with my back to the door. Once the keyboard was all plugged in and I started, the melody just flowed out of my fingers.

I wrote down each of the notes on the sheet music in the notebook. Then the words, just as the music had, flowed out of my mouth.

Sometimes inspiration comes to you at the weirdest times. You could be thinking about coffee and then all of a sudden a sentence runs through you mind and you can't help but write it down which then spirals into a poem about something completely different than what you had been thinking about before.

Those green eyes made a sentence pop up into my head. I thought that the moment Jamie and I had had wiped all remembrance for my crush for Dan, but I was so wrong.

What was the sentence running thought my head you ask?

 _Why is it when I'm with Mr. Green Eyes, all I can think about are how I wish they were your brown ones._

I'm in way too deep.


	30. Chapter 29

**Before I thank people for reviewing I just have a few things to say.**

 **1\. Reviews are like motivation for me to write more. Recently it feels like less and less people are reviewing and I'm currently really struggling to continue writing. It's not writer's block because I know exactly what I plan on writing, it's more of I just don't feel like writing. I don't want you to think that I'm taking the reviews I do get for granted because I really do love even getting one review that's why I'm trying my damnedest to sit and write so I have something to post for the people who really earned the chapter but it currently feels like I'm only writing for three or four people. I don't really care about views as much as I do reviews. I want feedback. What do you love about this story? What can I improve on? Did I mention something once and then never again? I just really want to interact with the people who are reading. I want to know what you think. Once again, I'm not moaning, I seriously love the reviews I get now and I have an amazing bunch of readers that leave some really great reviews it's just I want more people's opinions.**

 **2\. A little bit of good news. I reached 4,000 story views since I started posting them. Over 2,000 of them were just from the month of November. I feel like I might explode with happiness. it blows my mind that my story had been clicked on over 4,000 times. Okay I just checked and it's closer to 5,000 now. 4,969 to be exact.**

 **Writing this story has brought me so much happiness since I started writing, I don't think I could ever stop writing. Good think I have lots of plans for this story. I'm almost at chapter 30 (I'm kinda writing it now) and Dan and Sam still don't know the other likes them. This being said, I may be taking a small break. Like two weeks, maybe more. I really want to stock pile some chapters and who knows maybe if I get enough I'll do a New Years update celebration (someone make me a hashtag). No matter how long I take off, I am posting something on Christmas day. I may not even take a break until January but I don't know if I'll take one at all yet. It all depends on if I managed to crank out some chapters.**

 **Speaking of Christmas, I know what I'm going to do. It is not just a chapter of this story. I've been thinking and I don't really want one shots mixed in with the chapters so I've been thinking about making a compilation of one shots pertaining to this story. It would be a separate thing where you won't have necessarily have had to read this story to follow the one shots but it's the same world with the same characters. Let me know what you think and if it does happen, make sure to follow the story so you don't miss any Damn or Lian moments.**

 **Danisnotonfire's Twin Sister x3 - you do realize that if everyone that is following reviewed, you guys would get five chaptrs a month instead of four. Also one more follower and you get a surprise chapter. Just sayin.**

 **AmazingRrrachel - You really should sign in more ;D p.s. no one said Phil was going to end up with Emily.**

 **Also a big thanks to MistyRose96 and Ssgcp for reviewing along with the two mentioned above.**

 **Okay, I'm done rambling on. Enjoy the chapter.**

 **Chapter 29**

I woke up ridiculously early but I was opening today. I didn't go to bed until one am because that one song that I started writing spiraled into me writing three more. I wouldn't be surprised if Dan and Phil were pissed off at me because I was making noise all night.

I made my way downstairs to the kitchen once I was dressed. Once again, I ran into the glass door. I didn't however get knocked on my ass. It did feel as if my nose was broken, but I didn't fall on my ass.

I grabbed the yogurt that Dan and Phil picked up for me and a spoon. Yes I eat it out of the container. Don't judge me. Less dishes this way. In college I used plastic spoons. No dishes at all. I really hate doing the dishes.

When I was done shamelessly eating yogurt out of the tub, I went back to my room and grabbed my phone, wallet, and Chapstick.

The day flew by working with Emily who was now insisting I called her Em. Many As the Coffee Shop Turns jokes were made. Even though I had a good day at work, I was more than happy to finally go home.

Phil came into my room almost as soon as I got there.

"You. Lounge. Five minutes." He said and then left.

"Yes Sir." I said with a laugh.

I changed into leggings and then made my way to the lounge where I found Dan and Phil sitting on the couch.

"Come on, you are watching a movie with us." said Dan.

I sat between them and Dan put his arm around the back of me resting on the back of the couch. It was weird. He was so close to touching me but he wasn't and it was giving me a really weird feeling.

I felt the urge to scoot closer to Phil when Dan moved his arm a little and his fingers were slightly touching my hair. Touching my hair like that is like when someone touched Dan's neck. I stayed really still hoping he would move soon.

About halfway through the movie, Dan finally moved his arm but now it was pressed up against my arm. Looked down at my lap and closed my eyes trying to forget that Dan's arm was pressed against mine. I felt a tap on my shoulder.

"You know, if you're tired you can use my lap as a pillow." Dan whispered to me.

I shook my head and then turned my attention to the movie.

"Okay, I'm going back to my room. I have a blog post to work on." I said when the movie ended.

Once I got back to my room, I texted Phil.

 _"_ _Come to my room. We need to talk."_

A few minutes later there was a knock on my door. I let Phil in and we went and sat on the bed.

"Why is Dan being so clingy?" I asked.

"What do you mean?" he said.

"I fell asleep on Dan's bed the other night. Instead of waking me up or just going and sleeping in my room, he just climbed in bed with me. I woke up to him spooning me. We have never even so much as cuddled before. Then he jumps at the chance to go to the store with me. Now throughout the whole movie, he kept some sort of contact with me. He's just being really clingy." I explained.

"For two whole days, he thought you were dead. Plus you've been gone for two weeks. Even I would be clingy after that." said Phil.

"Then why aren't you? Plus I've been back for a few days now." I countered.

"I happen to have better self-control and I didn't think you were dead. Anyways, shouldn't you be wanting Dan to spoon you and be all clingy?" Phil said.

"Not when I'm on the verge of kissing him every time he's within three feet of me. I'm trying to stay away." I said almost frantically. "I just don't want to feel like this anymore."

Pent up emotions from keeping everything in these past few days finally overflowing, I started to cry. Phil pulled me into a much needed hug. Phil soothingly rubbed my back until I was finally calmed down.

"I hate feeling like no matter what I do, I'm going to screw it up and lose him forever." I said.

Phil was propped up on the wall and my head was on this tear stained chest. He had his arm around me still rubbing small circles into my back in a soothing way.

"Sometimes you have to take risks. By not saying anything to him, you could be screwing up you future. If you tell him and he doesn't like you back, it'll be awkward for a few days but you'll finally be able to get over it and if he acts like a prick, I'll talk your side. If you tell him and he likes you back, well let's just say, your children better call me Uncle Phil." He said.

I couldn't help but imagine a little kid coming up to him and calling him Uncle Phil. The image caused me to laugh just as Phil had wanted it to.

"Why do you always know exactly what to say to make me temporarily feel better?" I asked jokingly.

"It's a gift." He replied.

I sat up and checked to make sure all of the tear stains were gone from my face.

"Hey Phil, I think you need to spend more time on your own love life. Or at least met me in on it so I don't feel so selfish." I said with a smile.

"Who says I have a love life?" said Phil.

I just gave him a look. Actually I looked at his chest where I noticed the giant wet spot where I cried all over him. Thankfully it was starting to dry.

"Sorry about your shirt." I mumbled.

"Sam, I don't care about my shirt and… I do kind of like someone." said Phil.

My eyes widened and shot to his face.

"Spill!" I said excitedly.

Phil's face turned three shades of red. It was probably the most adorable thing I had ever seen him do.

"Her name is Hope. She works at Radio 1. We just talk sometimes. I don't even think she likes me back but I planned on asking her out. I just don't know how." He said.

I could have sworn that as he talked, his face got redder.

"Have you told Dan yet?" I asked.

Phil just shook his head.

"You'll have to point her out to me the next time I bring you guy's coffee." I said with a mischievous smile.

"Not a chance." said Phil with a laugh.

"Why not?!" I said and just then there was a knock on my door.

"Come in." I said knowing it was Dan.

"Hey Sam. I was just wondering if you wanted to watch another movie. I'll even pick it so Phil doesn't make us watch a scary movie." said Dan looking over to Phil when he said his name.

"You know what, I think I'm just going to go to bed early. I have to be up to open again tomorrow but I'll take you up on that offer when I get home tomorrow." I said.

Dan seemed content with that answer and he turned and left. Phil gave me on last hug and left my room two. Before I even realized it, I was waking up the next morning.

I got up went to work and came home like normal. I met Dan in the lounge as planned for the movie. Phil was working on a video so it was just the two of us but I sat on the opposite side of the couch so no unwanted contact was made. When the movie was done I made my way up to my room.

I had been laying on the floor for a few minutes when my phone went off in my hand.

 _"_ _Get on Skype. We have a lesson to do."_ Ian sent.

I grabbed my computer and opened skype. The call tone was almost instant.

"Hey." I said when Ian's face popped up on my computer screen.

"Hello yourself. So are you ready to learn how to play the best instrument ever?" he asked.

"Nah, I already know how to play the piano. I need to learn the guitar." I said shrugging my shoulders and a smirk plastered on my face.

We did the lesson for a while but after about a half hour my fingers were killing me.

"If I knew it caused this much pain to play, I would have never agreed to lessons." I said examining my sore fingers.

"Lily managed to learn and she didn't whine nearly as much as you are now and she was eight." said Ian.

"Speaking of Lily, you need to get her dating." I said.

The soda he was drinking sprayed out of his mouth and nose covering his computer screen and the camera.

"Ugh, gross Ian."

"Sam, I do not date friends. She's like a sister to me. That's like incest-" said Ian until I cut him off.

"Oh god no Ian, I mean be her wing man. I would never suggest my best friend and brother do something like that. You need to get her a date. Set her up with one of your friends from school or something." I said.

"Okay, I'll see what I can do." said Ian.

We continued to talk about stuff going on in our lives. I made him promise not to ask anything about Dan because I didn't want him accidentally hearing. Ian of course agreed but he was siding with Lily on this one. I needed to tell Dan my feelings, but he also thought I should be the one to do it.

I also managed to ream him a new one for helping Lily steal my favorite jacket and Ian just laughed when at the end I added on my extreme distaste for stupid fucking foam packing peanuts.

I ended up being the one that ended the call because it was getting late and I had to be up for work in the morning. Ian then remembered we were on different continents and he got a sad look in his eyes.

"By the way, you were right about the note. It did mean more for you to write one as well and, I love you." I said instead of saying goodbye.

"I love you too, treble maker." said Ian with a smirk.

I just shook my head at the nickname.

When the call ended I changed and got right into bed. I couldn't wait for the next skype call.

The next morning, to my surprise, I found Dan in the kitchen having a bowl of cereal.

"Hey." I said going over to the coffee maker and setting it up. "What a cup?"

"That would be great thanks." He said putting his empty bowl in the sink.

"Why are you up so early?" I asked.

"I have to do a thing for the BBC. In a few days I'm going to be gone for a few days. Should be fun though." He said leaning against the counter beside me.

"You'll have to tell me all about all of the cool places you get to go." I said.

"Yeah I will. So I figured that because I have to go in the same direction, I could just walk you to work. I don't think there will be any fangirls up this early in the morning. It's a school day and I don't think they go to school this early." He bargained.

"Fine, I'll let you walk me to work. I hate walking in the dark anyway." I said.

I finished getting read and met Dan at the door. The walk to work was a silent one but I felt a lot better because of the fact that I had someone with me. It didn't help that he was also afraid of the dark and I knew he was going to call an Uber as soon as he made it to the coffee shop if he hasn't already.

When we got to Starbucks, there was a car waiting for him. I knew it. We parted ways. Me into the store and him into the car.

The first half of my shift was normal and boring. Then around the lunch rush we got a call. One of the baristas that was supposed to come in had the flu. My manager begged me to stay. I only said yes because it would keep me out of the house and away from Dan for a while. I refuse to accidentally kiss him.

You could tell when school let out because the entire coffee shop was packed with school aged teenage girls.

One such girl came up to the counter.

"Grande Caramel Macchiato." said the girl.

I noticed that she was wearing one of Dan and Phil's merch shirts. The one with the whiskers. I have like three of them that I stole from Dan but shhh, don't tell him.

I took in the rest of her. She was about medium height with dirty water brown hair. Her nose was slightly beak like and she had thick glasses that magnified her eyes. Besides her nose and glasses, she looked very plain.

"I like your shirt." I said while handing back her change.

"Oh?" she said surprised, "This is just one of my laundry day shirts. A cousin got it for me. I don't even really know what it's from."

"It's Dan and Phil. Look them up. Their videos are pretty good. You can find them on YouTube." I said glad to think that I was helping the guys by spreading the word.

Wow I just made Dan and Phil sound like a religion.

"Oh, I've seen some of their videos. My cousin is obsessed with them. They are quite good." The girl and I continued our mini conversation about the guys while I waited on the next person.

After a few minutes she walked away and I got back to work taking orders. My manager, Kevin, came out after twenty minutes and basically kicked me off the registers by putting a cup of coffee in my hand, pointing to an empty table and saying "Break".

"Thanks Kevin." I said.

He just grumbled something about not taking too long.

He pretends to m mean and grumpy all of the time but I know he's not. Otherwise he wouldn't be working the register himself so that I could have a break.

I noticed the girl form earlier that I had a conversation with, sitting at a table by herself. I made my way over, coffee in hand.

"Hey do you mind if I sit with you?" I asked.

"Sure. I'm Elizabeth by the way." She said with a smile making her look kind cartoonish with the way her glasses made her eyes look.

"I'm Sam." I said offering my hand and a smile.

She shook it and then I sat. She and I started talking about random things. We didn't have much in common but we got along amazingly well and without thinking I started calling her Beth. She said she didn't mind and that most people call her that so if I wanted, I could as well. She also said that we should get coffee again some time but before we could plan it, I had to go back to work.

The rest of the work day went by amazingly quickly and as normal. It was actually quite boring.

I got home and there was no sight of Dan anywhere so I went upstairs to change into something more comfortable and then made my way to the lounge where I found Phil.

"Hey Philly, what are we doing?" I asked plopping down on the couch and leaning against Phil's shoulder.

"Watching the first season of Buffy." He said his eyes glued to the TV.

"I'll go make popcorn." I said getting up and going to the kitchen.

Buffy is one of the things that Phil and I bonded over. When I was younger my Dad and I would watch Buffy on Saturdays which were his only days off. Then when Buffy ended, we watched Angel. When Phil finally started warming up to me, Buffy brought us closer. That and Kill Bill. I mean come on. Uma Thurman is a freaking badass.

I finished up with the popcorn and made my way back to the lounge.

As per Buffy marathon tradition, all of the popcorn was devoured and Phil and I passed out on the couch.

The next morning I awoke with a start. It was still dark out but my phone never went off. Shit, I have to go to work and my phone never went off. I grabbed Phil's phone which was sitting on the arm of the sofa beside him, to check the time.

I have ten minutes to get ready.

I ran to my room and changed, put half a bottle of dry shampoo in my hair and just pulled it back into a ponytail, and shoved my phone and it's charger into my jacket pocket. I shoved my feet into the first shoes I saw, they were converse by the way, and ran out the door.

The whole way my shoes were in danger of falling off. I ended up getting to work on time but I had to sit and put my shoes on properly before I could actually do anything else.

Once behind the counter, I plugged my phone in. My manager understood that my work schedule was erratic and that my family living in a different country were always calling me not knowing that I was working. He just askes that I try not to answer when I'm with a customer but it mean I can have my phone on me at all times. I cell phone addict's dream.

The day flew by with very few customers and my phone was my best friend today. Thank god I got Tumblr on my phone. I also got a text from Phil.

 _"_ _Hey, Dan got home a little while ago. I talked to him about how he's being kind of clingy. He didn't even realize he was doing it. He said he would stop."_

Then a few minutes later I got a text from Dan.

 _"_ _Hey, Phil told me you thought I was being kind of clingy. I just wanted to say that I'm sorry. I didn't even realize I was doing it. I think I was just trying to make up for lost time. I'll try and behave."_

I ignored the butterflies the last sentence gave me.

I wanted to yell at Phil for talking to Dan about the whole clingy thing but if it makes Dan stop then I guess its okay. I really don't want to kiss Dan, well I mean I do, but… oh you know what I mean.

On my walk home I got a text from Niomi.

 _"_ _Hey, Marcus and I are going for a run tomorrow. Do you want to join?"_

I sent her a quick yes and we made plans for when I got out of work.

When I got home I went up to my room and grabbed my laptop. While I have been doing blog posts about the things that I normally post about, I've also been writing one that I'm too scared to post. One of them is talking about what it's like to have a crush on your best friend.

It may be in blog post form but I'm never going to post this one. It just too personal. I continue writing it though because it help me to sort out my feelings a bit. This particular post is almost 100 pages because I've had it going since I moved in with the guys. There are days were I go without writing in it at all to days where I write five pages.

I managed to get to 110 after writing tonight. I hadn't written for a while and I had a lot to catch up on. I keep the document locked so you need a password to get into it. I really don't want Dan to accidentally read it or something.

My stomach let out a loud growl so I figured that I should probably go and eat. When I got to the kitchen, I found a wild Phil with his hand in Dan's cereal box. I could hear Dan in the other room so I knew he was filming, so instead of saying anything I just stood there until he noticed me.

He had a handful of dry cereal almost to him mouth when he tipped his head back and opened his mouth while his eyes found me. He froze.

"It's not what it looks like." said Phil with his head still tipped back

"Philip Lester, put that box down now or I'll tell Dan." I said in a mock angry tone.

He did what he was told anyway and continued to eat what was already in his hand.

"Why is it that I'm always the one to catch you in the act of secret eating?" I asked opening the fridge and grabbing the stuff to make grilled cheese.

"Because you sneak up on me. I swear you're like a ninja or something." said Phil with a laugh.

"Yeah because ninjas fall up stair on a daily basis and all." I retorted.

"Hey, give yourself credit, you haven't fallen up the stairs in a couple of days." said Phil.

"Phiiiiil, don't jinx me. Now I'm going to break something falling up the stairs." I said in a high pitched whiny voice making Phil snort.

"Hey guys, I'm kinda trying to film a video." said Dan poking his head around the corner.

Phil and I said sorry at the exact same time causing us to laugh and then we said jinx at the same time as well. Dan was even laughing with us.

"Okay, now I really gotta do this video, and Sam, you may want to hang out in your room tonight if you don't want to accidentally be caught in this one." said Dan warning me.

I nodded and got started making my food and quickly went up to my room where I ate and then ended up falling asleep while watching Zoe's vlogs. Those things are like crack, so freaking addicting.

The next day at work was slow as well but not quite as slow. There were quite a few high school aged kids just hanging out.

At the end of my shift, I texted Niomi and asked where she wanted to meet. Then I changed into my workout clothes in the bathroom. She sent back to meet then at the same spot we usually meet.

This time around I was able to keep pace with Niomi but Marcus seemed to be running circles around us. I need to run more. As usual the three of us laid out in the grass to catch our breath.

Marcus however was spotted by a fan. This fan thankfully didn't spot me and Niomi a few feet away or if they did, they didn't say anything. Marcus turned down a selfie because he was all gross and sweaty but promised to give the girl a shout out on Twitter. She seemed to totally understand.

Not long after, the three of us parted ways.

When I got home I went straight to the shower. When I got out, there was only one towel. So much for drying my hair. I dried off and got dressed and put the wet towel on my hair to hopefully stop some of the dripping. Thankfully I found a clean towel in the dryer.

If Phil is going to continue to use three towels then he is really going to have to start doing laundry more often. Oh who and I kidding, I'm going to be the one who always does the towel load but I guess it's okay because I have finally got the Phil trained to put the dirty towels into the hamper in the bathroom. Hehehe, the Phil. It's like he's a pet or something. Oh god I'm actually laughing out loud. I so need to go to sleep.

I made my way up to my room where I accidentally fell asleep before I could do anything really productive. Well I did say that I needed to go to sleep.

The last day of my six day stretch was by far the craziest. There were people everywhere and they all wanted their coffees five minutes ago. Of course Eric was a no show leaving me and Em extremely under staffed and over stressed. Thankfully Kevin showed up and helped us out a bit.

Every time we got close to Kevin, he could be heard mumbling things like, "that good for nothing idiot", "I wish I had fired him years ago", and "as if he thought I'd let him date my daughter". I had to hold in my laughter every time I got within hearing distance. I guess he knows about Eric and Kayla.

I couldn't be happier to be going home when the time finally came but instead of going home straight away, Em and I sat and talked for a half hour about random stuff. We didn't really get to talk much while working unless it was to say the name of a drink that needed to be made.

Once I was finally home I changed out of my burnt coffee smelling clothes and collapsed on my bed. I heard my bedroom door open then I felt the bed dip down.

"Hey," said Dan. "I know you're probably tired but will you come and watch a movie with me and Phil. I'm going away for a couple of days for that BBC thing again and I was hoping to spend a little time with you before I left."

"I guess, if I have to move that's a good enough reason" I said.

Dan laughed and stood to walk out of my room.

"Wait!" I said.

Dan turned and said "What?"

"Help me." I said lifting my arms.

He laughed and grabbed ahold of my hand pulling me to my feet.

He pulled a little more than he meant to, making him have to catch me before I feel over again. His arms were around my waist and my hands were on his chest. Our eyes locked. I could feel myself falling into the dark abyss. Eye contact was only broken when I looked down at his lips and licked my own.

How would those cracked lips feel against my smooth ones? Would it feel weird? Nice? Would I ever want to stop? What's stopping me now? Why am I not kissing the beautiful man in front of me? I started to lean in.

Then Dan sneezed. Right in my face.

"Oh my god, I am so sorry. I'm so, so sorry." said Dan wiping at my face with his hands but all he was really doing was rubbing it in.

"Ugh, Dan…" I said walking past him and down to the bathroom to wash my face.

All I could think was, thank god he sneezed on me and kept me from kissing him. I came so close to kissing him, it was ridiculous.

I took a few deep breaths and then made my way to the lounge.

When I went in, Dan started to apologize profusely but I stopped him.

"I don't care. Let's just watch this movie. Okay?" I said.

They agreed and I sat down between Dan and Phil.

With the lights out and being wrapped up in a warm blanket, I got really sleepy within the first ten minutes. This time I took Dan up on his offer of using his lap as a pillow and it made a damn good one too. So good that I ended up falling asleep there.

I was dreaming about Dan again. We were laying on the floor of my old flat like we used to when we listened to music but we didn't have headphones on. Instead we were looking at each other. Dan had his head propped up in his hand. He was smiling down at me.

"I love you." He said like he did when I made a really stupid joke but there was something deeper behind it.

Stupid dreams.


	31. Chapter 30

**So I have officially hit thirty subscribers and what a better way to celebrate and giving you chapter 30.**

 **So thank you Tatiana(Phantomdance) x2, Danisnotonfire's Twin Sister, Romanow, and HoneyBunny619 for commenting.**

 **I won't be posting on Thursday. Instead I'm going to do it Monday and then I'm going on a two week break. Right now I feel like I'm putting way too much pressure on myself to just crank out a chapter each week and it's not fun writing like that. I feel like I'm not enjoying writing and I'm not enjoying what I'm writing so for my two week break I'm just going to write to enjoy it.**

 **Seeing as my break is over the last day of the year I just wanted to tell you that I am going to be posting on Christmas. It's going to be a one shot and I will have a compilation story thing which I am making now So make sure to subscribe to that so you don't miss any Damn moments.**

 **Enjoy the chapter.**

 **Chapter 30**

I woke up early. Early enough to have enough time to shower before I went to work. The only problem with that is that I don't have to work today. Good job brain. Plus, no matter how hard I tried, I couldn't go back to sleep. After fifteen minutes of staring at the ceiling I decided I needed coffee.

I made my way down to the kitchen and started the coffee pot then sat up on the counter. If my mother saw me now, I would be getting yelled at because "butts don't belong on the counter".

I closed my eyes and leaned against the cupboard behind me. The smell of coffee was filling the room and it was so relaxing. Not enough so to make me fall asleep but still. I don't know how long I had my eyes closed but I did know that the coffee had been done for a few minutes.

I felt something brush up against my knee making my eyes spring open. It was Dan trying to get a cup of coffee. He had two cups down and was making it just the way I liked it.

"Hey, I thought you fell asleep making coffee. Here." He said handing me my coffee.

"Nope just relaxing. The smell of coffee does that to me." I said taking the cup and holding it between my hands letting it warm them.

"Really? Because you could have fooled me." said Dan picking up his own coffee.

"Yeah whatever." I said taking a sip of my coffee.

Dan moved so that he was facing me and leaning against my knees.

This was really early for him to be up in the morning. Unless of course he didn't go to bed in the first place.

His hair was a curly mess. Clearly he hadn't straightened it yet. He was also still in his pajamas which consisted of a t-shirt and a pair of sweatpants that happened to be riding down his hips. If he were to raise his arms you would be able to see the skin just above his underwear. No, bad brain. Stop thinking about stuff like that.

I took another sip of my coffee so my mouth would have something to do that didn't involve accidently kissing my best friend.

"Ugh this is way too early for me. I got barely any sleep." said Dan running his fingers thought his mes of hair.

"Well maybe if you went to bed earlier…" I said trailing off and looking down at the sink beside me.

Dan gave me a very serious look that made me want to burst out in laughter but I held it in and just smiled.

Dan put his coffee down beside me and moved closer making my legs spread so he as now against the counter between my legs. He took the coffee from my hands and put it down next to his and then proceeded to tickle my waist.

I fell forward onto Dan shoulder while trying with all of my might to keep my laughter in. I felt like waking Phil this early would not be a very good idea. Just when I was about to give in to the laughter, Dan just wrapped his arms around me. I stayed were I was with my hands on Dan's chest and my forehead on his shoulder.

"You know, if you wanted a hug, all you had to do is asked for one and we wouldn't be in the awkward position we are in now." I said with traces of laughter in my voice.

"Yeah but this was more fun." said Dan.

I picked my head up and sat straight. It took a minute for Dan to let go of my waist but when he did, his hand stayed on my knee.

"So I'm going to be doing lots of boring BBC things today and tomorrow so you should keep me awake." said Dan taking a sip of his coffee.

"And how do you propose I do that?" I asked taking my own coffee cup and bringing it to my mouth.

"Spam me with texts. I don't know. Anything." said Dan with a smirk.

"Okay." I said nodding trying not to laugh.

I scooted forward on the counter like I was going to get down, but it made me closer to Dan. We were level with each other. Eye to eye. The pull was there but I resisted. I looked away and slid off the counter.

"I think I'm going to go a lay down and see if I can't get more sleep." I said dumping my half full coffee in the sink.

I left the kitchen before he could say anything and I made my way to my room. Once there I laid on my bed and stared at my ceiling. I fought my urges to kiss him.

In that moment I was so proud of myself. I felt like I was finally one step closer to stamping out this crush. Or at least going back to how it was before I left for home. As much as I hate to admit it, I really actually wanted to kiss him. I wanted to know what it would feel like, but I wanted my best friend more.

I ended up falling back to sleep but I was awoken by Phil attempting to be sneaky. He is not very sneaky unless it's while secret eating.

"Phil, what are you doing?" I asked too lazy to actually open my eyes.

"Wah! How? Your eyes are closed!" said Phil.

I could tell he was clearly dumbstruck at the fact that I knew he was there.

"Yes Phil, but I have ears that are fully functional. One step in then side step to the left otherwise the floor creaks. That and I was also in that half-awake stage of waking up so I heard the door creak open." I explained.

"Am I ever going to be able to sneak up on you?" Phil asked.

"Nope. Never." I replied simply.

Phil then plopped down on my bed. I scooted over to give him some room to lay down if he wanted. He laid down and let out a sigh. It was the kind of sigh that told you the person sighing wanted something. I tried to ignore it and go back to sleep.

He sighed again. I knew exactly what he wanted but I didn't want to do what he was trying to get me to do.

He sighed for a third time and I couldn't help myself.

"What Phil?" I asked.

He's going to ask for pancakes.

"I'm hungry." He replied.

He totally wants pancakes.

"Well then go eat something." I said turning over and facing away from him.

I was actually hoping you would maybe make pancakes?" he said putting his hand on my shoulder and peaking over at my face.

I called it.

"Ugh, I guess but I'm making you do all of the work." I said.

"Does that mean I get the recipe?" Phil asked.

"Sort of. I'm not going to tell you any secrets. I've been sworn to secrecy and if I tell you, I'd have to kill you." I explained.

Phil seemed too excited to care about not getting the whole recipe. He just wanted the pancakes. In his excitement he grabbed my hand and pulled me down to the kitchen. I honestly didn't care that I wasn't wearing a bra. I was way too tired.

I sat on the same spot of counter that I had previously sat on a few hours earlier and told him all of the ingredients he would need. Except the sugar and Vanilla of course.

I then told him the measurements and the consistency it should be. I quite like being bossy and calling out direction.

"Will you cook them? Please, please, please?" Phil asked giving me his cutest puppy dog eyes.

"Dan's puppy eyes are cuter." I stated sliding off the counter and taking the pan from Phil's hand.

"I don't care." said Phil kissing my cheek and going into a different room.

"Grab my phone would you." I call after him as an after-thought.

I quickly added the secret ingredients and then started in on cooking the pancakes. I had just flipped it when Phil came in handing me my phone and sitting where I was sitting previously.

As soon as one pancake was done and on the plate, Phil started eating in. I took a quick picture of him eating and sent it to Dan.

 _"_ _Look what you're missing out on."_ I sent to accompany the picture.

 _"_ _I really don't like you right now. I'm so hungry."_ Dan sent back.

I went back to pancake making. I had to keep Phil well supplied.

I don't know how he managed it to eat every single pancake, but he did. I honestly had no clue where he put it all or how he managed not to burn himself. He was eating them as soon as they came out of the pan.

"Okay, so I have one more favor to ask you." said Phil while I cleaned up the mess he made from making the pancake batter.

"Nope, you are all out of questions for the day." I said looking up at him with a smirk.

"Haha your so funny." said Phil. "But seriously, it's just a tiny favor."

"Fine, what is it?" I said with a sigh.

"Will you be my lovely assistant for my video? All you have to do is sit behind the camera and hand me things." said Phil in a rush like I was going to cut him off any second.

"Sure. It just means I don't have to do my hair." I said shrugging. "But can I get dressed first. I'm kind of not wearing a bra and it's starting to feel awkward."

"Okay, TMI but did you just say yes? I thought I was going to have to beg you to help me." said a very shocked Phil.

"Well in that case I don't think I want to help you." I said.

When I saw the look on Phil's face I couldn't help but laugh.

"Phil, of course I'm going to help you. I said I just said I would." I said through yet another laugh at Phil's relieved face.

Phil went off to prepare for the video while I finished picking up the kitchen. When the kitchen was done, I went up stair and got dressed. Once I was finished, I grabbed my dirty laundry.

I hadn't done laundry for almost a whole week. I was starting to run out of clothes. I didn't have to go naked. I think the guys seeing me naked once was plenty of nudity for all three of us.

When I was done I made my way down to Phil's room. I caught him talking to himself.

"So I guess Dan's talking to himself is rubbing off on you." I said plopping down on his bed.

"Talking through my list is a lot different than having a conversation with myself." Phil argued.

"Whatever helps you sleep at night." I said with a smirk.

"Just go sit behind the camera." said Phil after sticking his tongue out at me.

I was tempted just to roll off the bed but Phil was standing on one side and the camera was set up on the other so I just stood and went and sat on the floor behind the camera.

I hadn't been sitting long before Phil handed me a pile of things and started in on his videos.

"So today I'm going to be doing a monthly favorites even though I haven't done one in many months." He said.

I couldn't help but smirk at him.

"My first monthly favorite is a jumper."

That was my que so I tossed the jumper to him. He gave me a look that clearly said "did you really have to throw it at me?", but he wiped the look off his face and held it up and started talking about it.

"Next is this candle." He said.

Once again I tossed the candle to him. He wasn't expecting it and the face he pulled was priceless. I had a mini giggle fit which he was going to have to cut out.

"You should totally do a slow mo of that face. It was priceless." I said in another set of giggles.

He told the camera about the candles and completely ignored me.

"Next on my favorites is these new socks."

I took this moment to chuck then as hard as I could at him. They bounced off his face and landed in his hands.

"I swear-" said Phil but I cut him off.

"No you don't." I said.

He went back to filming. There was a whole big story behind the socks. I took this time to sit right in view of Phil and make faces at him. He cracked a smile a few times but that's what I was aiming for.

"And my last favorite, thankfully it can't be chucked at me, is my lovely assistant, Roomie." He said.

I reached up to wave at the camera.

"Roomie is a favorite because we had a buffy marathon the other day and this morning she made me pancakes. Her pancakes are the best I've ever had. On top of all that, she is one of my best friends. Life in this flat wouldn't ever be the same without her."

I couldn't hold back any longer. I tackled Phil in the tightest hug I could manage while still keeping my face away from the camera. He made a "huh" sound when I collided with him.

"Okay, I guess you can be chucked at me." he said.

I went back to my position on the floor and Phil finished his video.

Once the camera was turned off, Phil turned to me.

"As long as your face isn't showing, can I leave the tackling bit in." he asked.

I nodded.

Filming had lasted all of an hour and when I checked my phone I had three texts from Dan.

 _"_ _Sam why didn't you text back"_

 _"_ _SAM!"_

 _"_ _SAMANTHA MAE DAVEN! Answer your damn phone!"_

I couldn't help but laugh at the last one. At the same time, I really wish he had never found out what my middle name is. I quickly texted him back while Phil took care of the camera and stuff.

"Okay, let's go and spend some quality time with one of our favorite blonds." said Phil when he was done cleaning up.

"Uma Thurman or Sarah Michelle Gellar?" I asked.

"I don't know. Whichever I find first." He said.

We made our way down to the lounge. Of course it was Buffy that we found first. Phil set the couch up with warn fuzzy blankets and lots and lots of pillows. I made popcorn and grabbed drinks. It ended up turning into a Buffy marathon and we only stopped for lunch and a bathroom break.

The marathon lasted until it started to get dark and my stomach growled louder than the T.V.

"Come help me make supper?" said Phil turning off the T.V.

"Okay but just don't make me cook. I'm not so good at not breakfast foods." I said.

Phil just laughed and dragged me to the kitchen.

 **I need you guys to do me a really big favor. I'm pretty sure I mentioned somewhere in my story when Phil found out that Sam liked Dan. I can't remember and it's really important for the chapter I'm working on. So if someone could find it and leave it in the comments I wold love you forever and ever.**


	32. Chapter 31

**First off I just wanted to thank all of the reviewers that helped me find when Phil found out Sam liked Dan.**

 **freethinger1993 - I'm really glad that you like my story. Sam and Dan my kiss sooner than you think. All with Dangirl shall be revealed soon. things will happen soon.**

 **Thank you to Guest, Phantomdance, Debella, AmazingRrrachel x3, MistyRose96, Danisnotonfire's Twin Sister, HighHedgehog, Romanow, and of course freethinker1993, for reviewing this chapter.**

 **This is my last chapter before I go on break so I guess I'll see you December 31st for the next chapter. But remember, I am posting a special Christmas chapter on the One-shot story thing. So if you don't want to miss anything, be sure to follow that.**

 **Enjoy and see you December 31st!**

 **Chapter 31**

I willingly followed Phil into the kitchen.

"Are we actually going to make something? Can't we just order out?" I pleaded with a laugh.

"No. I'm cooking. You are sitting and keeping me company. Now sit." said Phil pointing to the counter.

I planted my butt on the counter where Phil motioned. Now I don't often have the urge to drink alcohol but right now, I could totally go for a glass of wine.

Phil must have seen me eyeing the bottle on the counter because he was soon pouring me a glass. I took it graciously. The first sip is always the worse but after a few it tastes much better.

Phil and I had been in the kitchen for twenty minutes just laughing at anything and everything. Then something crossed my mind.

"You know, three years ago, I would have never imagined that we would be here now." I said.

Phil smiled and looked down at what he was cooking.

"Yeah, I hated you." said Phil.

"What? You hated me? I mean I knew you didn't like me but hate?" I said letting my voice go high.

"Okay not hate just strong dislike. Sound better?" Phil asked.

"Much." I replied.

The conversation subsided and I was left to think. I thought back to when Dan and I first started to be friends.

"Wow Dan, you're on fire today." said Phil.

"Yes Phil, and you are amazing." Dan replied.

Of course the first thing to come to my mind was that they were gay but just before Dan and I left I realized that it seemed like Phil really didn't like me. Other subtle hints about Dan and Phil's YouTube thing were dropped and they too went right over my head.

As time went on, Dan and I started hanging out more and more. After knowing each other for three weeks, he invited me over to the flat.

Phil didn't seem too happy about the fact that Dan trusted me that much. I didn't understand why but I figured it was because, well, we had known each other for three weeks. We were still kind of strangers but Dan and I had grown really close in a short period of time. It was just so easy to talk to him and he must have felt the same way.

The first time I was over, I heard them arguing in the kitchen.

"I don't think it's a good idea for her to be here. You haven't even known her for that long. How do you know she's not some psycho killer?" said Phil.

"Phil, she's not Brooke. I like her. I like spending time with her." said Dan.

His voice then went into a whisper making it impossible for me to hear anything else. Not that I wanted to hear any of it in the first place but at least I knew for a fact that Phil didn't like me.

A few minutes later, Dan joined me in the lounge. I pretended that I didn't hear them talking about me in the kitchen and Dan acted like nothing happened as well. Dan and I played Mario Cart all afternoon and I did not see Phil once.

A week later was the adventure to the lake. I still can't believe Dan and I jumped into the lake in our underwear.

The next incident where I knew for a fact that Phil didn't like me was a couple of months into the friendship. Dan had forced Phil to come and sit in the lounge with us while we hung out because he wanted to spend time with both of us.

I was cracking jokes and just being dumb and Dan was losing it. He had his arms wrapped around his stomach and I was trying really hard not to be doubled over from the one's he was telling. Phil just sat across from us with a straight face. I could have sworn it was the straightest I'd ever seen. Once I thought he was going to smile because his lip twitched but I was wrong.

Months went by and the more time went by, the less I wanted to go over to Dan's because of the way Phil acted towards me. Not only did it not make me feel very welcome there, I understood not wanting someone you don't like to be over at your flat all the time.

Dan and I had been friends for around eight months when the first and last fight Dan and I ever got into happened. It was the only real fight Dan and I had had. Of course we had arguments but five minutes later we were acting like it never happened. This time was bad.

See up until this point, Dan still hadn't told me what he actually did at the radio or anything what so ever about YouTube. Eight months in and I didn't know.

It started two week before the big shebang.

I'd been texting Dan to hangout because we hadn't seen each other in almost a week. That was like a month in friendship time. We would make plans to hang out and then he would cancel last minute and say something at work came up. Other times he would ignore his phone completely.

In my frustration with the whole thing I decided to take a drive. Of course I forgot my iPod to listen to. I had to listen to the radio.

Sometimes I wonder if I hadn't forgotten my iPod, would he ever have told me. He would have had to eventually.

Anyway, I turned on the radio and the first station I landed on had a lady's voice saying what I assumed was and intro or something.

"On radio one." said the voice.

I almost slammed on the brakes in shock to hear what came on next. Dan's voice coming out of the radio. I couldn't comprehend what they were saying but I caught a snippet.

"Be sure to watch the live stream…"

I made it home as fast as I could. I needed to see with my own eyes if this was actually Dan. I mean I was positive it was him but I think I was in denial. I wanted it to not be him.

Once home I went on the site and what I saw made the denial disappear and I burst into angry tear. My best friend lied to me about something really important.

This was back when they had the request show so of course in my anger I called in. Now that I think back on it, I really shouldn't have called but my judgment was impaired by my anger. I also didn't actually expect for them to pick up my call.

Knowing my luck they did.

"Hello, what's your name?" Dan asked.

"Hi my name is Sam. I'm just calling to ask for some advice. What would you do if you found out that your best friend had been lying about some really important things about them? I mean you're supposed to be able to tell your best friend anything and if they can't trust you enough to tell you something as small as what their job is, how can you ever trust them again." I said somehow managing to keep my voice even.

"I would make them grovel and beg for forgiveness." said Dan with a smile but I could hear the underlying fear in his voice.

"Okay. Right." I said and then hung up.

I was so mad that I wanted to yell and cry but instead I choose to make myself even madder. I wanted to know what else Dan hadn't told me. I googled him. YouTube was the first link.

"Danisnotonfire? What the fuck?" I whispered to myself.

I watched a few videos and Phil featured in a few. I clicked the link to Phil's YouTube and watched a few of his. Let's just say I fell into a rabbit hole of watching my best friend's secret life that I didn't know about.

An hour in, there was a knock at my door. I knew it was Dan. I was so angry that I ran to the door. Of course I assumed it was Dan but I didn't expect to see Phil there too. It didn't stop me from saying what I needed to say to Dan though.

"I can understand not telling someone at first. Hell even after a month in, but you have become my best friend. I share everything with you and I thought you did the same too. You lied about what you do at the radio and you didn't even tell me about YouTube. I'm disappointed and sad that you felt you couldn't trust me enough to tell me this one little thing."

"And you," I said turning on Phil. "You have been anything but welcoming to me, but you could have at least told me. Did you ever think that maybe I don't want your fans to know who I am?"

Dan looked shocked that I was just telling him off and Phil looked down at his shoes looking very ashamed.

"I've watched a few videos by the way, but they just make me angrier with you. Looking at you makes me angry." I said starting to close the door.

"Wait, Sam, can I at least come in and explain?" Dan said holding the door open.

"No Dan. I can't let you in right now and I'm not just talking about my flat." I said and then closed the door before he could say anything else.

I made my way back to my room. I couldn't look at my computer because Dan's face was up on the screen. I couldn't listen to music because Dan and I had such similar taste in music that everything that I would have listened to would have made me think of Dan.

Now that I think about it, I acted like this was a break up. I think this is when my feelings for him started to manifest because not two hours later my eyes were glued to the computer screen. I binge watched all of Dan's videos. Then I watched some of Phil's.

I remember thinking that the Phil in his videos was the Phil I wished I had met. It made me sad that he disliked me so much.

It took me all night to watch every video and then I ended up passing out cuddling with my laptop (my one true love). The next morning I was awoken by a knock on the door.

I contemplated just not answering it but in the end I did. It was probably the best decision I have ever made.

I opened the door to find the last person I would have imagined, Phil. In my shock I just kind of stepped aside for him to come in.

"Hi so I felt like you need an explanation of why I've been acting the way I have towards you." Phil started explaining as I led him to the kitchen.

"Do you want anything?" I asked trying to be polite even though he had a coffee cup in his hand.

"No thank you. Oh, and I grabbed this for you." He said handing over the coffee.

I took the lid off and found my favorite coffee inside. This meant more to me that ice cream ever could have. I took a long haul of the coffee and then looked back at Phil.

"Okay, let's go in the lounge and you can explain." I said.

We made our way to the lounge and before we even sat, Phil was talking.

"About a year and a half ago Dan and I befriended a girl named Brooke. She was sweet and kind and she had a lot of common interests as we did. The three of us became fast friends. We told her a lot about what we did for work. What we didn't know was that she already knew. She pretended the whole time that she didn't know who we were. She knew who we were, what we did and she didn't befriend us on accident." He said.

"She thought that we would get her started and then we would introduce her to our friends who had more subscribers. It turned out that she was only using us. She didn't even like out videos." He continued.

"And you thought I would do the same." I said guessing at the point of this story.

"Yeah, but you didn't know and I feel terrible for how I've treated you." He said.

I couldn't help myself. I pulled Phil into a hug.

"Ever since we met, all I've wanted is to have you not dislike me." I said while still hugging him.

"You have no idea how hard it was to actually not laugh at you jokes. I wanted to be your friend so bad but I didn't want another friend to turn out to not be a true friend." said Phil.

After our little heart to heart, Phil and I just hung out and watched movies all day. Turns out I have just as much in common with Phil as I did with Dan.

It was getting late, like almost midnight, and Phil was getting ready to leave when there was another knock on the door. This time, on the other side of the door I found Dan. Phil was the first to speak.

"So I guess you want to talk, I'll just…"

"Oh no you don't." I said grabbing Phil's sleeve. "If I have to stay for this, so do you."

Phil took of his jacket back off and I let Dan in. Out of habit he took off his jacket and kicked off his shoes by the door. I led the two into the kitchen.

I had a feeling I would need some sort comfort food. So of course my go to comfort food was the only thing I could think about. Pancakes.

The guys sat at the table while I went over and started getting all of the ingredients ready for them.

"Okay talk." I said looking back at Dan and then continuing to make the pancake batter.

"I had a good reason not to tell you-" Dan stated.

I cut him off.

"Uh Dan, I already told her about Brooke." said Phil.

"Oh. So you're not mad at me anymore?" Dan asked

I contemplated throwing the frying pan at him but I thought better of it. I didn't want to break anything.

"No, I'm fucking pissed at you. You are… were… are my best friend. You are my best friend. The fact that you thought for one minute that I would be anything like that girl mean you don't really know me. It would mean you know nothing about me. Half the time I want to disappear, why in the hell would you think I would want to try to get famous off you or something like that?" I said trying really, really hard not to yell.

"I don't know why I didn't tell you. Maybe because I was scared you wouldn't want to be my friend when you found out I was some weirdo who makes videos in the internet. Your my best friend, besides Phil of course, and I didn't want to lose you." said Dan.

I stopped my pancake making and walked over to Dan.

"Just trust me. That's the biggest reason it hurt so much. You are literally my only friend here. I just want you to trust me. Can you do that?" I asked.

Dan looked down at this hands as if her were contemplating my question.

"Yeah. I can." He finally answered.

"Good because I have something for you. I'm been meaning to give it to you for a few weeks now but I could never remember to give it to you." I said grabbing a draw string bag off the counter. "Like I said before, you're my only friend."

"Hey what about me?" said Phil cutting me off.

I just gave him a look saying don't be dumb.

"Therefore if I die I want someone to be able to find me or if I somehow get lock in the bathroom, knowing my luck it could happen, I want to have someone to call to get me out." I said.

The guys looked confused so I handed Dan the drawstring bag. He opened that bag and dumped the contents into his hand.

"A key?" He questioned.

"Yeah, to my flat. I told you that I trust you. But don't think all is forgiven because I gave you this. You have to make up for it somehow." I said with a smile.

Dan stood and hugged me.

"As long as you're still my friend, I can handle that." He said.

I stepped back and there was a couple seconds of awkward silence and me being completely uncomfortable with awkward silences had to fill it.

"Are you hungry? I asked.

"What are you making?" Phil asked.

"Pancake."

"You mean American pancakes. The fluffy clouds of syrupy joy pancakes?" Phil asked with wide eyes.

I couldn't help but giggle a little.

"Yes Phil, American pancakes." I said.

"Well I guess we have no choice but to stay. I know I won't be able to pull Phil away from the pancakes." said Dan.

I turned back to the pancakes while Phil and went to pick out a movie. This was the first of many midnight pancake sessions. Where I would make the pancakes and the guys picked a movie and then we stuffed our face and fell asleep on my couch.

I did end making Dan earn his forgiveness. He helped me design my blog. I had forgiven him way before that but shh, don't tell him.

"Hello, earth to Sam." said Phil breaking me out of the memory. "You're supposed to be keeping me company not staring off into space."

"Sorry, I was just thinking about the YouTube fight thing and how we became friends." I said sliding off the counter.

"If it weren't for you, I would have gone crazy by now what with the whole crush thing. Thank you." I said hugging Phil.

"What are friends for?" Phil replied hugging me back tightly then letting me go.

"So, did you ever talk to that Hope girl?" I asked sitting back up on the counter.

Phil finished up with the food while he told me about how Hope had a boyfriend. When it was done we took the food and made our way to the lounge and sat at the table. While we ate Phil edited the video we filmed this morning.

We sat laughing at ourselves for a while. Phil decided to keep the bit where I tackled him in because you couldn't see my face and because it was funny. Phil kept playing that bit over and over in slow motion. I laughed so hard I swear I could have peed myself.

Phil and I were sitting at the table editing until almost two in the morning. Phil tried to make me go to be because I fell asleep at the table a couple of times but today was so fun that I didn't want it to end.

In the end, I decided that I really should get some sleep. I had to finish my blog post about Tanya's products. I had to post it tomorrow so I needed to hurry and finish it.

I think I fell asleep while climbing the stairs because I still don't remember how I got to my room.

 **P.s. I didn't get a chance to read it over before posting it so if there are any mistakes, I'll come back and fix just don't yell at me. I also feel like there are parts that are forced but I really wanted to get this up for you guys. I'll probably come back to it later.**


	33. Chapter 32

**So I'm back... kinda. I have a really good excuse for not posting yesterday. I was doing... research for a future chapter. My Lily got me drunk. I'm 22 and it was the first time ever so it legal but totally not advised. DON'T DO IT! Anyway it was totally for research. I see drunk Sam in the future. For most of today I have been fighting a hangover. I'll say again, DON'T DO IT. It's not fun but I now can accurately represent what Sam will be like while drunk and then later hungover.**

 **DON'T DRINK. It may look like fun but not only does it taste gross, it makes you act stupid and then feel like shit the next day. And if you do drink be sure that you are of age (18, 21, whatever it is where you live) and never under any circumstances attempt to drive. I feel like I needed to add the little PSA to appease my morality.**

 **HighHedgehog - Please not the Llamas. they don't deserve to die a fiery death while falling from the sky.**

 **Thank you to AmazingRrrachel x2, freethinker1993, BluBlush, and HighHedgehog for the reviews.**

 **Enjoy!**

 **Chapter 32**

I woke up to birds chirping loudly right outside my window. I mean I planned on getting up early but not this early. When I realized there was no way I was going to go back to sleep because of those stupid birds, I figured I should get out of bed. Bed… warm and cozy cocoon of fluffy- NO. No no no. Out of bed.

I decided on a shower first. I got my clothes ready and then made my way down to the bathroom. I checked for shower spider, which has now become a pre-shower ritual. There will be no repeat of the Shower Spider Incident. When I was sure it was all clear, I undressed and climbed in.

While in the shower I just let my mind wander. I mean I do it every time I shower but this time my mind didn't stay on one subject for very long. Today though I felt like I was just on auto-pilot while showering and then getting dressed because I was stuck up in my head

I didn't bother with makeup when I got back to my room. Instead I just climbed back into bed and pulled my laptop onto my lap. My soft, comfy, I just wanna go to sleep… no, no, no. I have to stay awake. I've got to finishing up my blog post about Tanya's products.

I don't really like lip gloss because I always end up getting my hair stuck in it but I really loved Tanya. I Found Nemo and Lunch Date were my absolute favorite lip glosses out of them all and I am in love with the individual lashed. I go along with each of the products I inserted a picture of what they looked like on. They were all close ups on either my mouth or my eyes.

I sat writing until about noon then I sent the rough draft to Tanya to see if she liked it. Almost instantly I got a reply saying to hurry up and post it so she could see the finished product. I laughed to myself and posted it. I'm assuming she was eager to see the pictures. When it was fully posted I sent her the link.

As always, I closed out of the browser and shut my laptop so I didn't sit refreshing the page. I recently connected my blog email to my phone's email app so now if I got a comment or a new follower I would get a notification on my phone. I was hoping that this would keep me from the constant refreshing and I could just read them as they go. I grabbed my laptop and my phone and made my way down to the lounge where I found Phil on the sofa.

"Hey Phil." I said sitting next to Phil in Dan's sofa crease.

"Finally finished your blog post I see." said Phil.

"How did you know I wrote a blog post? I didn't tell you, did I?" I said confused as to how he could have known I posted today.

"Tanya tweeted the link to your post, I thought you knew about it." said Phil looking at me worried.

Tanya has over a million followers on Twitter. Over a million people just got sent the link to my blog. She just basically told a million people to read my blog.

I grabbed my phone to go on Twitter so see exactly what she had said but before I even put in the password, my phone started vibrating and made a beeping sound notifying me that I got an email.

I ignored it and went to twitter.

 ** _TanyaBurr: One of my favorite blogs wrote a post reviewing some of my products. You should all go and check it out._**

Then at the end there was the link to my blog. I was slightly freaking out at the fact that so many people just saw the link to my blog. It already had 100,000 retweets. My heart started beating really fast like it was trying to escape my chest.

Okay calm down, just because a whole bunch of people saw the tweet and retweeted it doesn't mean that they are all going to go to my blog. It doesn't mean they are all going to read it.

Then it did it again. I got another email notification. I went to go and see it and then I got another and then another. I sat my phone down on the couch beside me. I never get this many notifications this quickly when I've just posted. I looked at my phone like it may blow up at any minute.

And blow up it did. Soon my phone was constantly buzzing and pinging. I looked at Phil with horror and panic plain on my face.

"What the actual fuck is going on with my phone. Fuck." I said.

"Sam, you're getting a ton of comments on your blog. I'm on it now and every time I refresh there's an entire new page of comments." said Phil.

"I need to call Dan." I barely managed to say.

Phil handed me his phone as mine was currently having a seizure on the couch between Phil and I. I went to contacts and found Dan's name and called. He picked up on the second ring.

"Phil, what do you need?" he said answering the phone.

"Dan something happened." I said in a monotone voice.

"What happened? Are you okay?" Dan asked worriedly.

"It won't stop buzzing. One million people. Tanya tweeted. I can't do it anymore. I quit. Too many people. Why won't it just stop? Dan, make it stop." I said on the verge of hysterics.

Okay not on the verge. I was totally hysterical.

"Wait, what?" said Dan confused.

"My phone won't stop ringing. People are commenting and stuff on my blog." I replied slightly annoyed that he didn't just get what I was trying to say.

Once he finally realized what I was talking about, he found it hilarious. I heard him on the other end of the phone laughing. How could he be laughing when I was sitting her losing my shit?

"Sammie, it means that people like you. Tanya was only trying to show people someone who has a good blog. You wrote a good review on her products and she is just paying you back." said Dan now trying to comfort me.

I know he was trying to help but I was so emotional that it didn't help in the slightest. I don't remember hanging up with him but I do remember him saying something about having to go back to work.

I slid down the couch and just sat on the floor. I ended up lying face down in the lounge contemplating the meaning of everything. Oh god, I sound like Dan. Eventually the need to move took over me. I didn't have the energy to actually get up and pace so I just rolled around on the floor.

"Sam," said Phil trying to hide the laughter in his voice. "What are you doing?"

"I need to move but I'm too lazy to stand and pace. So I'm rolling." I replied like it was a totally normal thing to be rolling around on the floor like you were having a mental breakdown, which I totally was.

Phil literally dragged me into the kitchen when I refused to go eat. When I say literally, I mean he grabbed my arm and dragged me into the kitchen. Once there I somehow found it in me to stand and then sit up on the counter.

"Okay, yes you obviously aren't used to all of the attention, but isn't this what you wanted. You wanted this to someday be your job so don't you think that having a lot of people read what you write was eventually inevitable?" Phil asked while he made me food.

"Yes, but-" He cut me off.

"So doesn't that mean you should be at least a little happy about so many people reading what you have to say?" He asked again.

"I am, but-" He cut me off again.

"Good now you can stop rolling around on the floor and suck it up. You can handle this. It's only a fraction of what Dan and I have. Imagine three million people reading what you have to say." He said.

Phil had a point but so did I and I was going to make sure I voiced it.

"You're right about everything but I thought it would have been much more gradual. It happened all at once and freaked me out a bit. I don't know exact numbers but I have a feeling I just blew through so many milestones for followers and comments. You were there when I reached a hundred. I hid under the covers on my bed. I would say I handled it much better this time." I said bringing back all of the memories of when I hit milestones.

"Didn't you hide in your closet at one point?" Phil asked with a smirk.

"We will not bring that up." I said pointing at him.

"Whatever, just eat your food. I think all these new people would be very disappointed if you died of malnourishment." said Phil handing me a plate.

I sat there thinking about the other milestones that I hit and how I had reacted to them while I ate.

My first was when I got one person that followed my blog. I was actually really excited. I remember Dan picking me up and swinging me around which of course ended in disaster as we both ended up on the floor but I didn't care because one person liked my words enough to read more.

The second was when I reached ten. I had a mini panic attack where I called Dan but he made me see reason. It was just ten but it was a good thing. I still laugh at myself for thinking that ten was a lot of people to be reading my story.

Next was when I reached a hundred. The guys had plans to come over later that day. I had checked my blog that morning to find that I reached a hundred followers. Dan and Phil found me in my room hiding under the blanket on my bed. I do admit that I over reacted a little but Dan has turned it into a joke so I don't feel too badly about it.

Then when I hit a thousand I was ecstatic, had a full on panic attack, then Dan and I had one of our music nights. That was probably the easiest number to reach. By easy, I mean it was very gradual and I knew it was coming so I had a little bit of time to prepare myself.

Lastly was when I hit ten thousand which was just before I had moved in with the guys. Once again the guys were coming over because we had plans for a movie night. When they got to my flat, they could find me. They looked in every room but I was nowhere to be found. They actually thought about calling the cops until Dan found me hiding in the closet in my bed room. We don't talk about that.

After talking to Phil, and eating, I felt so much better. I felt so good that when I went into the lounge I opened my laptop and then my email. I had so many emails that the number was 999+ for the amount of emails I got.

I next opened up my blog. I didn't look at the comments or anything because that just scared me way too much to look at for now. I did however look at the subscriber count. Before I posted my blog the number was 10,116. Now the number of people following is 693,899.

I made a little squeaking noise and Phil came over to look. His eyebrows shot up. I was physically and mentally unable to comprehend that number.

I went back to my email and opened some of the comment notification emails. There were so many "new follower" and "new comment" that I just started deleting them all. Amongst all of the blog notifications, there was one email that stood out.

 _"Hello Sam,_

 _My name is Amy and I work for BeautifulLifeCosmetics. We at BeautifulLifeCosmetics have seen how much you love our products and we were wondering if we could send you some new products for you to try and review. If you like them and do write a review, we are more than happy to pay you. Please reply immediately so we can set everything up for you. Thank you for enjoying our products and we hope that you enjoy then for years to come._

 _Sincerely,_

 _Amy Watman CEO if BeautifulLifeCosmetics"_

The CEO of one of my favorite makeup brands freaking emailed me asking for me to review some of their products. I didn't even care about the money I just quickly sent her an email and right then and there we set everything up. I gave her the address to the flat because I didn't have a PO box yet. Maybe I should look in to that soon.

I told Phil about the email and his reply was that I had an actual shot at turning this blog thing into my job. I mean that was my dream but I didn't think it would happen like this. I made Phil do a happy dance with me. He just laughed and went along with it.

Last on my agenda was to thank Tanya So I opened the Twitter app on my phone, which was finally still.

 ** _SamDaven: TanyaBurr I cried, had a panic attack and almost peed myself when my phone went crazy. Thank you for tweeting the link to my blog._**

 ****A few minutes later I got a Twitter notification.

 ** _TanyaBurr: SamDaven I love your blog. I was so excited to see you reviewed my product I couldn't help but share it. Thank you for the review._**

Then Tanya followed me and so did Jim. I knew that my friends following me on Twitter would eventually be inevitable. They were my friends and while I did follow them, they still didn't know that I even had a Twitter. Well Zoe did but I made her promise not to just follow me. Now that Tanya and Jim follow me, it wouldn't be long until my other friends followed me too.

It was like thinking that made it come true because within minutes I got a ton of notifications. Zoe, Niomi, and Louise all followed me. I can only assume that they saw Tanya's tweet to me.

I PMed Tanya.

 _SamDaven: I swear to god, I am not kidding about the panic attack. I'm still kind of freaking out a little. Not kidding, I gained like 5oo thousand followers. I don't know if I'll ever be able to post on there again. Or repay you._

 _TanyaBurr: I'm sorry, I should have asked first. I thought you would like the promoting. I didn't know you have anxiety. If I had I would have warned you. I'm sorry._

 _SamDaven: It's okay. I'm better now. It's just my phone's email notification was causing my phone to have a seizure and I just panicked. I swear I'm better now. I don't want you to think that I'm not grateful because I love that you like my blog enough to recommend it to your followers. It's just that I really don't like attention. I mean, there's a reason I'm not in the guy's videos already or have my own channel. Anyways, thanks for the shout out and next time warn me. Love you._

 _Tanya Burr: Okay, I will warn you first next time. Love you too. Oh, Jim and Martha say hi._

Next I PMed Zoe, Niomi, and Louise.

 _SamDaven: Thanks for the follow but just remember I'm not a YouTube and people don't know about me knowing any of you. Love you._

All of the messages that I sent were about the same thing.

Soon after my phone died so I brought my phone and my computer upstairs and plugged everything in. I needed a break from the internet for a night. I made my way back down stairs and collapsed on the sofa next to Phil.

After all of that, I was just kind of numb. So many emotions ran through my body that I couldn't feel anything anymore. Phil and I sat watching something that I wasn't paying enough attention to to know what it was or what was happening. A part of my brain that I thought had gone dormant for now suddenly sprang into action. The anxious, over imaginative part.

I was thinking about how the day that I show may face in the guy's videos was soon to be approaching. I know Dan isn't going to want to wait a year for me to be ready. He will because he's never been one to push too hard but he won't like it. If he had his way, I would have already been in a video.

When that day came for me to finally show my face, I don't think I'll actually be able to do it. I don't know if I ever will be able to go through with it. This is when my over active imagination really kicked in and started to spiral out of control.

"It's been sixty years coming, but today Roomie will finally be revealed." said Elderly Dan. "Roomie passed away late last night. This is Roomie."

A picture of what I assume I'll look like when I'm old flashed across the screen.

"Now it's just me. This is sure to be the last video I do because I am going to die of loneliness." He said.

Then he just started to cry. It turned more to sobbing and then the video cut off. The end screen had the birth and death dates of the three of us. Before I could go any farther into my imagination, Phil shook my shoulder. I turned my head in his direction seeing him holding his phone out to me.

"You phone is apparently off or dead. Dan tried to call you but he couldn't so he call me." said Phil.

I took the phone and answered it.

"Hey Sammie, how you holding up?" asked Dan.

"I'm okay. I don't know if I'll ever be able to show my face on the internet again, but I'm okay." I replied. "Um, can you call me on my phone? I have it upstairs charging. I need to lay down."

I hung up and handed the phone to Phil before he answered and I really hoped he didn't call back. At the same time, all I wanted to do was talk to him. I went up to my room and turned my phone on. Within seconds it was ringing.

"Hey." I said answer Dan's call.

"Hey." He replied.

It was silent for about a minute until Dan broke it.

"I can tell by your voice that something is off. Tell me what's wrong." He said.

He knew me way too well. I sighed into the phone.

"I'm having second thoughts about the whole being in videos thing and the blog thing. I don't think I'll ever be able to show my face in a video and I don't think I can post anymore. A ton of people are reading my words and I don't think I can have three times that many see my face let alone like six million." I said in a rush of words not being able to hold it back.

"Sam," he said with a sigh.

"No, I know you think I'm stupid or something but… I'm scared." I said my voice growing smaller at the end.

"I don't think you're stupid. It's just… you're my best friend. I love you and I know everyone else will too. I want people to know my other best friend." said Dan softly.

I got butterflies when he said that he loved me but I knew it was meant as friends which made my heart hurt a little. I couldn't say anything so I nodded my head. Then I remembered that he couldn't see it. He must have known that I needed a minute because a few seconds later he was speaking again.

"So Phil told me you had some good news about your blog. Are you going to tell me?" he asked.

"One of my favorite makeup brands contacted me asking if I would review some of their products. If I like the products they send me and I write a post about them, they want to pay me. My first sponsored post. It's really exciting." I said.

Once he brought up the news, my excitement over took the fear.

"Hasn't this been your dream since you started your blog? You wanted it to someday be your job." He said almost like it was a question.

"Yes." I replied.

"So you're going to continue to write because Tanya basically talked you up and now you have to deliver." He said getting to the point.

"I don't want it to seem like I'm ungrateful and of course Tanya asked me to review some of her products but I just… I just wanted to do it myself. I kind of feel like I'm cheating because Tanya promoted me. I already know her but people don't know I know her, and if they ever find out, which they will, they are going to think I asked her to do it but I totally didn't." I said in a rush forgetting to breathe.

"So… Both you and Tanya will say you didn't ask her because you didn't. Anyone that doesn't believe you isn't worth your time." He said.

"There isn't any arguing with you is there?" I asked smiling at the fact that he seemed to have an answer for everything.

"Nope." He said with what sounded like a smirk on his face.

After talking to Dan I felt a little better. He always just has a way of calming me down and making me think rationally. It may have something to do with the crush, but honestly, ever since we met he has just had a way of calming me down I mean just look at the day he introduced me to Phil. The whole London underground fiasco.

I felt good enough to open my laptop and go to my blog. For only a second did I have second thoughts but I ignored them and opened the comments on my blog. There were so many new comments. Thousands of comments.

 _"OMG I love Tanya's products."_

 _"You're such a good writer. Can't wait to read the rest of your blog."_

 _"You should make YouTube videos. I would totally watch them."_

For the most part, all of the comments were good. There were a few bad ones of course but most of them were the same as always.

 _"U R DUMB."_

 _"That thing/pic/product sucks."_

All easily blocked out or ignored.

Along with the new comments there were new commenters but at the same time all of my regular commenters were all there. Even Violet, whose comment read something like this:

 _"ASDDFGGHJJKKLLLL OMG TANYA BURR TWEETED ABOUT YOU!1!11!111! OMG CONGRATS. I LOVE YOU!1! OMG!"_

All of my regulars were congratulating me on my blog blowing up. I thanked a lot of them for sticking with me for as long as they had. The more comments I read, the more excited I became to start writing more posts.

I had a few idea of some posts that I wanted to do. A lot of them were ones that I wasn't sure about posting. They were so different from the makeup reviews and beauty things I normally post about.

I've been thinking about posting new content like this for a really long time but now that I have more readers, I'm even more reluctant to post not beauty or product related posts because I feel like it's my branding now. Being a beauty blog. Much like Dan, I have a whole word pad full of blog ideas. Most of which I don't think I'll ever be able to post.

After all of the excitement of the day, I just wanted to rest. I went down to the lounge where I found Phil.

"Hey Phil, can we watch something? Preferably not a horror something." I said.

"Yeah, sure." He replied getting up and looking though the movies.

In the end we decided on Attack on Titan because none of the movies sounded good to both of us and it was the only thing we could agree on watching. I ended up falling asleep on the couch. I vaguely remember Phil trying to get me to go to bed but I just rolled over and snuggled further into the couch.

This is where I stayed for the night. Luckily I managed to have a dreamless, or should I say nightmare-less, sleep.

 **p.s. I will now** **continue** **to fight off the vodka headache. Just don't do it. Bad decision. Evil Lily. No more shots. Yuck!**


	34. Chapter 33

**Oh my goodness, 33 chapters. I never thought I would get ten reviews let along 150.**

 **Thank you to AmazingRrrachel, BluBlush, and Romanow for the reviews on the last chapter.**

 **I will be posting a chapter on Phil's birthday but it's going to be one of the ones on my other one shot thing. I'm thinking Sam and Phil just hanging out and stuff IDK. Give me some ideas? If I pick one that you give me I'll give you a shout out in the chapter.**

 **As always reviews are more than welcome. I like knowing what you think about the chapters.**

 **Enjoy!**

 **BTW When She Comes and I fictional movie that I came up with. It is not real, as far as I know, except for in this story.**

 **Chapter 33**

The next day, the tenth, Dan came home. That day and the next were spent just chilling or cleaning the flat. There was a lot of just sitting on the couch next to Dan and Phil. A lot of anime watched and even more popcorn eaten.

I also didn't get much work done on my future blog posts. Dan said that he wanted to hang out with me and talk about the blog thing but it just ended up turning into an anime session. Then when Phil was added it turned into a two day sit on the couch and watch anime marathon.

The extent of conversation was limited to what kind of popcorn we wanted and where to order food. We did have a break on the second day where Dan made me lunch while Phil went to pick up more popcorn.

"Sam, I'm making food. Do you want some?" I heard Dan yell from the kitchen.

I got off the couch and made my way to the kitchen.

"Sure." I said causing Dan to jump.

I smiled and then sat up on the counter. I've always loved watching people cook and right now was no different but there was something different about the way Dan cooked. It was almost poetic in a way. Like a dance. I don't know, I just really like watching him cook, I guess.

"Why are you staring at me?" Dan asked.

Shit, I've been caught.

"I don't know. You have just captivated me." I said in a sarcastic voice.

Dan turned so he was facing me, his hip against my knee.

"I'm captivating am I?" he said in almost a whisper.

I felt my heart speed up but I controlled my breathing and fought the urge to bite my lip. Does he know what this does to me goddammit. I couldn't help my eyes flickering from his eyes to his lips and then back up to his eyes. I looked away before I could get caught up in those eyes.

"Just shut up and cool Howell, I'm hungry." I said with a laugh brushing off all of the feelings I had just experienced.

Dan finished cooking and we brought the food into the lounge and ate. Phil arrived home a few minutes after we were done eating and joined us in the lounge. We continued the marathon and what happened in the kitchen was for gotten.

By Saturday I was sick of seeing the same rooms. I love the flat but I needed to get out and see some new scenery. So I decided to go to my home away from home where the chairs are comfy and the coffee is always on. Starbucks.

Yes I went to the place I work, on my day off, for fun. I found myself a corner and got to work on my next blog post. I've chosen to pretend that Tanya never tweeted the link and I never got a flood of new people reading my blog. Denial. Total and complete denial. That is how I work. I mean just look at my feeling for Dan, I'm in complete denial that I lo-LIKE. I just LIKE him. Nothing more. That is it. It's just a CRUSH. Dear brain, shut the fuck up.

Emily was off today which was kind of a bummer because I needed to see some new people. I was stuck in a world that only consists of Dan and Phil and that could be potentially dangerous in the Dan department. It's just a crush. My boss, Kevin, noticed me when I walked in so before I even had my first coffee gone, he came over with a second. I was really hoping he wouldn't ask me to pick up any more days. I'm already working full time for the next two weeks.

"This is why I hired you. You're always here even if you're not working." said Kevin putting a cup of coffee on the table next to me.

"Well, what can I say? I just really love coffee." I said shrugging my shoulders.

Please don't ask me to work, please don't ask me to work, please don't ask me to work. Instead of saying anything or going back to work, he sat across me.

"So Kayla found your blog. I read some of it. You're a good writer Sam, so answer me this, Why are you working in a coffee shop and not going to school. You could make a career out of your writing." He said in a way that reminded me of my dad.

I was in total shock. Did he want me to quit or something? Without thinking twice I answered him. There was just something about the look on his face. In this moment he really did remind me of my dad.

"I went to college, Uni, for two years. In order to get a degree, I had to take a bunch of classes that had nothing to do with what I wanted to do. I felt like I was wasting my money on taking classes and not knowing exactly what I wanted to do." I explained.

Kevin's face turned into one of deep thought before he spoke again.

"I think that blog of yours is a good way of finding out what you want to do. One thing that I have noticed is that all of your posts are the same. Always about the same thing. It's repetitive. Have you ever thought about posting more personal things?" he asked.

"Honestly I've thought about a lot of things to do with my blog but for now, it's just for fun so you don't have to worry about me quitting any time soon. I plan on sticking around for a while." I said with a smirk.

Then the part of him that reminded me of my dad was gone and replaced with his hard ass persona he attempted to convey to his employees. The one that I totally saw through.

"Yeah, okay. That coffee is on the house but that's it the rest you have to pay for." said Kevin in his boss voice.

"Hey Kevin," I said when he was walking away. He turned back to me and for a second I saw the fatherly bit of him flash in his eyes.

"Thank you." I said.

He gave me a warm smile and then turned and walked off.

I watched him walk back to the counter and start taking orders. Now that I thought about it, he looked around my dad's age. Kayla, his daughter, was just a year younger than me. I suddenly got the urge to call my dad. It was 7 am at home so I couldn't but I really wanted to.

What Kevin had said about my post all being similar got me thinking, when I started my blog I dreamed of it someday being my job. Now that that dream is starting to come true, I almost don't want it too.

I was scared of the fact that I was getting so much attention and I didn't want to fuck it up. I don't want to fuck up my future again. I don't think I could handle it if I did it again. This was my last shot a doing something I am passionate about. If I fucked this one up I'm afraid I'll be stuck working in a coffee shop the rest of my life. How depressing.

I was so deep in thought that I didn't notice that someone new was now sitting across from me until she spoke.

"Sam?" said a familiar voice.

My heart started racing but I managed not to jump. I put my hand to my chest to make it calm a little. It did not work.

"Oh, Beth. Sorry, I was totally zoning out." I said realizing who was sitting with me.

"Well I asked if I could sit with you twice but you never answered so I just figured you wouldn't mind. You don't mind, do you?" she said looking slightly worried.

"No, of course, I don't care. I need something to do besides zoning out anyway. Just don't sneak up on me again. I think I'm having a heart attack." I said nonchalantly with a smile.

She smiled back and we she started on a new subject.

We got to talking about just stuff. She told me that she was on her final year of schooling before going to uni. She had no clue what she wanted to do and I related to her situation. The more we talked the more I felt our friendship growing.

While we didn't have much in common personality or taste wise, we were very similar in a lot of other ways. Like the way we think, although I think I'm a little more obsessive than her, and feelings about the future.

When it was time for us to part ways, we decided to make plans to see a movie the next day. We spent another twenty minutes trying to figure out what movie to see. Beth was adamant on seeing a horror movie but I was so not in the mood. I really didn't want nightmares. I had enough of them cause my Phil. I didn't need any cause by her.

We left the coffee shop still undecided on the movie but we made plans to meet at the coffee shop near the theater at ten. That way we could decide on what we wanted to see. If we got an early enough movie we could get lunch after. She wanted to take me to one of her favorite places in London for lunch.

When I got home I could hear the guys arguing about what to get for takeaway. Phil was on the pizza side and Dan was saying they should have Thai food. I followed the sounds of their voices into the lounge.

I walked in ad set my bag on the table then sat between the guys on the couch.

"I want Thai, we always go for pizza." said Dan.

"Bitch please, we're getting Indian." I said in my sassiest voice.

"I could live with that." He replied.

"Why do you always have to take her side?"

Dan, instead of vocalizing his reply, flipped Phil off. Phil just laughed and shook his head. I involuntarily rolled my eyes. Boys are so weird sometimes.

Now that the argument was settled, we switched over to playing Mario Kart. Dan and Phil raced each other and then I was going to race the winner. Basically we play three different maps and race once on each. Whoever wins two out of the three is the winner of the round. No surprise here but Phil lost.

Dan and I use the same exact car and set up so instead of someone having a better car, we were evenly matched in the car aspect of the game. This was now just a test of skill and I give Dan a run for his money every time. Somehow he always managed to win the last one though. I swear he cheats but I haven't figured it out yet.

Before we started, Phil fled the lounge. He knew how obnoxious we can get while playing and he didn't want to witness the insanity that was about to ensue. Smart move Philip, smart move.

Of the first three rounds, Dan on the first then I won the second. Dan unfortunately won the third but I was soon to challenge him to a rematch which I won. We went back and forth until we had played six games and we were still tied.

I never realized just how verbally abusive we were to each other while playing. There was a moment where Dan threw a shell at me and he exclaimed "Take my shell, bitch" when it hit me. In return, I shouted, "I will kill you in your sleep, bastard!"

I sort of felt bad for whoever was below us. He has to endure our yelling while we play very intense video games. That and every time I win I have a bad habit of getting up and doing a ridiculous victory dance that involves lots of outdated dance moves and lots of butt shaking.

Luckily the takeaway guy came while I was doing my current victory dance so he didn't get the joy of Dan and me yelling at each other. Dan however got out of having to endure my victory dance because he had to answer the door. I may have had voice lessons but dance lessons were not included in the studio. In other words, I fucking suck at dancing.

When I had finished my ridiculous dance, I went to go get Phil who was in his room editing or something like that. I knew he would have his headphones on so I didn't bother knocking on the open door before just going it. It's not like he would hear me anyway. When he saw me he took off his head phones.

"Hello Philip." I said sitting next to him on the bed.

"Good evening, Samantha." He replied in his poshest voice.

"Daniel is getting the door. Our sustenance has arrived." Turning it up my posh-ness to the same level as Phil.

"Oh Daniel is? I say we greet him in the lounge." He said.

This was an invitation to continue to be weird. I was going to accept it because being weird is fun. We made our way into the lounge. We got in there before Dan got back from the door. When he walked in, Phil was the first to speak.

"Hello Daniel." said Phil.

"Um… hi." said Dan with a confused laugh.

"Shall I set the table?" I asked before heading to the kitchen to grab silverware and plates.

"Okay, I'm done. I can't do this anymore." said Phil when I entered the lounge.

"Thank god, I've run out of posh things to say." I said with a laugh.

"You two are so weird." said Dan shaking his head while unpacking the food onto the table.

"Don't deny it Dan, you love us." I said coming up behind Dan and hugging his so he couldn't use his arms.

I head Dan sigh and Phil snort. Well it was more of forcefully breathing air out his nose.

"Yes Sam, you are right. I do but that doesn't mean you're not weird." said Dan.

"True." I replied letting go so he could finish unpacking the food.

The three of us sat around the table and ate. There wasn't much talking but there were plenty of eating noises and plate scraping noises with Dan moaning every so often thrown in somewhere. Indian was totally the best idea I've had all week.

Once the food was devoured, Dan and I decided on one last round to settle the tie. We had to find out who the ultimate winner was so that the winner could rub it in the losers face for the rest of time. Or at least until Dan and I had another Mario Kart battle. Phil once again fled the lounge so he didn't have to witness the rage and bad mouthing that was sure to ensue.

The first race was the toughest. I was in first most of the time. In the last lap however, Dan managed to get me in sixth place. The second we were neck and neck the entire time but last minute I managed to hit him with a shell and ultimately win. The third and final round consisted in lots of elbowing and cheating on both sides but we managed to stay in first and second the entire race. I was sure Dan was going to win when a blue shell came out of nowhere. I barely managed to miss it but I did and then I sped up and ended up winning.

"I WON! I ACTUALLY WON!" I said jumping off the couch and doing a victory dance.

I finally beat him. We always seemed to be equally matched except for the fact that Dan is a lucky bastard and always somehow manages to win the last race, except for this time.

"Get your butt out of my face." said Dan laughing on the couch.

I had just jumped up and started in on my victory dance which I had changed up a bit because I was the overall winner and you need a much better dance for that. I made sure to get closer to him just because he said something.

"You know, it's almost work losing just to see you make a fool out of yourself with that dance thing." said Dan with what sounded like a smirk in his voice.

I ignored him and continued to dance. No way was he going to put a damper on my mood because I fucking finally beat him at Mario Kart.

"Seriously, please stop. You look like you might hurt yourself." said Dan again with a smirk in his voice.

"I don't care. I finally beat you and I couldn't be happier." I replied making sure to wiggle my butt a little more vigorously before ending my dance and sitting on the couch next to him.

We laughed at my terrible dance moves while Dan went back to playing Mario Kart against strangers.

We went to bed not long after that. I was meeting Beth tomorrow and the guys would be in meetings all day about, I think it was the book or a tour or something. I don't really know. That and Phil's brother was sending a mockup of some new merch the guys were working on. Dan didn't want me to see it until it was finished. Dan the perfectionist. This just warranted me staying out of the flat all day.

Before climbing into bed, I laid out my clothes I was going to wear the next day. I had a habit of doing that when I had actually plans to go outside. Except for work of course. They were just a pair of black skinny jeans and the long sleeve navy Brandi Melville shirt when I went to my US visit.

The next morning I got up and went down to shower only to find Dan already in there. He started singing just as I was about to go to open the door. I don't think I would ever say this but thank god for Dan's shower singing. It just prevented a possible disaster. Although I do kind of wish it didn't happen. Nope, no, no, no. Head outta the gutter. No, bad brain! You are not allowed to picture Dan naked. NO! STOP RIGHT NOW! THISISNOTOKAY!

It took him twenty minutes to finally finish up in the shower. I sat on the steps and waited the whole time. I was too tired to actually climb the stair and go to the lounge.

"Oh, hey Sam." said Dan coming out of the bathroom.

I really wished I had had a camera because that hobbit hair was amazing. I had to restrain myself from running my finger through it.

My reply was a groan as I now had to stand.

When I went into the bathroom shutting the door behind me. The whole room smelled of Dan's body wash. The scent was intoxicating. I almost didn't want to shower because I wanted it to linger.

I shook my head trying to stop thinking those thoughts. I guess I'm way more apt to indulge in the crush thing when I'm tired. Note to self, don't be around Dan while over tired. I climbed in and for a moment I contemplated using Dan's shower gel but once again, I shook my head then reached for my own.

"God, I need to sleep more." I said out loud.

I finished my shower, dressed, and then made my way to the kitchen. We desperately needed to go food shopping. I settled on trying to eat a bowl of cereal. I don't even like cereal but I ate it. Okay so I barely managed two bites before dumping the rest. I just don't like cereal.

I decided to leave early then maybe I could get some real breakfast at the coffee shop. So I went up to my room and did my makeup. I went for a natural look. I skipped foundation all together making the sprinkle of freckles across my nose visible and I didn't bother with eye liner eye shadow and just went for mascara.

When I was done, I put my laptop, charger, notebook, a pen and my wallet in my backpack. Once I was sure I had everything, I grabbed my black jacket, because I don't have my leather one, and made my way out of the flat.

This was a different coffee shop than the one I usually went to, ya know, the one I work at, but this one was closer to the cinema. When I got there I ordered a muffin and a coffee and found a corner to hide in and people watch.

I was here and hour and a half early but that's okay because it gave me time to just sit and think. The first thing I started thinking about the fact that my boss actually read my blog. What the actual fuck. He did have a point though. A lot of my blogs were very similar.

I wanted to post more of a variety of things but I just didn't know when. It never seemed to be the right time. That and I feel like the people that read my blog are expecting beauty and fashion related things not my experience with college in the US verses uni in the UK or my love like or lack thereof because I'm currently infatuated with my best friend.

I wanted to post things like that but it had to be the right time. Now it felt like the right time has passed now that I have way too many readers. I don't know. I want to post them but I'm just going to wait until it feels right. Wow I think I just confused myself even more.

The sitting there and thinking didn't last long what with the confusion and all. I pulled out my notebook and a pen. I had originally intended to start a blog post but it ended up turning into something different. It read more like a letter than anything.

 _I hate the way you make me feel. I hate it but at the same time, I crave it. I don't want you to touch me but once you do, all I can think about is holding your hand. I don't dare to look you in the eye because I know I'll drown. They will pull me in and suffocate me until I do something I may possibly regret. Like kissing you. Sometimes it's all I can think about. How your lips would feel against mine._

 _I shouldn't be having feelings like this for you. You're my best friend. I'm so scared you'll find out then not want me around. I just want to be around you. I hate that you do this to me. I hate that I_ _love_ _like you this much._

"Hey space cadet." said Beth sitting across from me jumping the shit out of me.

"Jesus Christ. I think you might be a fucking ninja." I said snapping my notebook shut.

I don't want anyone to read that. I don't even want to read that again. I was quick to change the subject.

"So about the movie?" I said my heart still beating out of my chest.

"Oh, I know what movie were gonna see." said Beth with a smile.

"For some reason I don't feel like this is going to go well for me. I really don't want to ask but what movie did you choose?" I said with a feeling of foreboding.

"You'll see. Let's go. It starts soon and I don't want to be late." said Beth.

She looked far too pleased and for some reason I didn't feel like that was a good thing. I followed her to the cinema anyway. She dragged me to the line for the tickets. Before I got the chance, Beth was already telling the young girl behind the counter which movie we were seeing. I wasn't able to catch the title of the movie which scared me a little.

Tickets in hand, Beth dragged me towards the theater that the movie would be showing in. When I saw which one she was pulling me towards I dug my heels into the ground making her not be able to pull me any farther.

"No. No, no, no. I refuse to go into that theater. Not in a million billion years." I said planting my feet, crossing my arms, and shaking my head.

"Oh, come on. It's just a scary movie." said Beth grabbing my arm and pulling again.

"Nooo. Phi- my friend is always trying to get me to go to these movies. When She Comes was one where I put my foot down. Please, don't make me go." I said while she pulled me into the theater.

Girl is stronger than she looks.

She pulled me in and towards the middle of the theater. The room was almost empty. Just Beth and I along with two couples in the back that were sure to be making out the whole time and a few others scattered around. Most of them were in the front. I don't see why people think those are the best seats.

The movie was even scarier than I thought it would be. I hate paranormal movies. In the middle of the movie I stopped watching. By the end I was hiding under my seat convincing that something was gonna get me. I didn't even know the movie ended until Beth said something.

"The movie is over. You can come out now." She said with laughter in her voice.

"No, I'm never ever coming out." I said too scared to move.

I really, really hate supernatural movies. Ghosts and demons are my number one biggest fear. I honestly just wished that Dan was there so I had someone to be scared with.

"You do know that there is like a ton of gum stuck under that seat. I wouldn't want your hair to get stuck in it." said Beth in a matter of fact voice.

I quickly got out from under the seat and made my way out of the theater as quickly as possible without actually running. Beth wasn't far behind me. Once outside she stopped me.

"So I'm guessing someone's already chewed gum is scarier than a ghost." said Beth with a laugh.

"You have no idea. That shit is scarier than anything." I said.

We both laughed and then she linked her arm with mine and we started off towards her favorite restaurant.

"So sushi. What have you had before?" Beth asked me while we walking into a restaurant that reminded me of something you would see in Japan.

I was definitely going to have to take a selfie here and send it to Dan. It totally matched his aesthetic.

"Um, I've had a California roll." I replied.

"Oh you have so much to try." She said in an excited voice.

This time instead of a foreboding feeling I had one of excitement. Sushi is something that I've always wanted to try but I never really got the chance to do it. I let her lead me over to a table and order for the both of us.

I discovered that I really like spicy tuna rolls and I love California rolls. That and those are the only ones that I remembered the names of. We ended up just talking about a bunch of stuff. It was fun. It was almost like hanging out with Lily again except that Beth was nothing like Lily.

We had a lot of fun just hanging out after the movie but it didn't last long. She had to leave for some reason around like one. I had to stay out of the house until three because Dan wasn't sure when the merch package would arrive so now I have two hours to kill. I texted Niomi.

 _"Hey. What's up?"_ I sent. I got a reply quickly.

 _"Hey, just hanging out. I moved house."_ Was her reply.

 _"Oh right. Sorry. I was going to ask if you wanted to hang out or something but if you're busy that's okay."_ I replied.

 _"Thanks. Yeah, I'm actually editing."_ She sent.

 _"Okay, sorry. I'll talk to you later."_

Well that was a bust. Ever since what happened between her and Marcus, she and I haven't been running together that much. She probably just needed some time alone and I respected that. I knew how she felt.

I would text Emily but I don't have her number. I haven't seen her for a while. I was kind of missing her but I was working a bunch of days the next two weeks so I'd see her then.

I made my way back to the coffee shop that I didn't normally go to. Something about coffee shops just make me feel at home. I found a secluded corner and pulled out my laptop. When I opened my email I had an email from Amy . I opened the email.

It was basically just asking me what kind of products I would be interested in so that they could send them to me. I guess that they want a really good review from me. I would honestly take anything they offered me.

I replied to that email and a few other important ones contacting me about reviewing product. I then went on my twitter and just scrolled though it. It hadn't notified me but Dan and Phil had both followed me on twitter along with a bunch of people who I assumed were from my blog.

Speaking of my blog, I also went to look at comments and stuff. They were now slowly rolling in but there were still a lot of new people commenting. Plus, the comments weren't just on my new one. People were going back and reading old posts and commenting on them as well.

I still haven't gotten over the fact that so many people were now reading and commenting and following my blog. Its mind boggling that people care what I have to say. At the same time I now have a constant feeling of anxiety that all of these people are going to go away and no longer care or they will all turn on me when I post my next blog post or something like that. Okay no I need to stop before I go into the existential crisis position in pubic. Ya know, face down on the floor. Yeah these floors don't look too clean.

I really wanted to go home at this point but I didn't know if the guys were done. So of course I texted Dan. Unexpectedly, I got a reply right away.

 _"Daaaaan! Can I come home yet?"_ I sent.

 _"Saaaaam! Yes."_ Was my reply.

I packed my bag faster than I had ever packed it before and I was out of the coffee shop and practically running towards out flat. Sometimes it's okay to leave the house but most of the time I just want to hide under my duvet and scroll Tumblr all day and night or binge watch something one Netflix.

When I got back to the flat, I ran up the stairs and then once I got to the floor with the lounge I thought I was actually going to die.

"Sam, you look like you're going to die. Did you really just run up all of the stair?" said Dan coming to see what all the noise was.

The fuck, can he read minds. I really want to kiss you right now… nope I don't think so.

I just happened to sound like a baby elephant when going up the stairs so I wasn't surprised to see Dan coming to see what all the ruckus was. I couldn't say anything so I just nodded. Talk about cardio.

"I hate stairs. Why do we have to have so many?" I asked when I finally caught my breath.

Dan just laughed and made his way back into the lounge. I made my way up the stairs to my room and threw my bag on my bed. Gently of course. I wouldn't want to hurt my laptop. I changed into leggings and grabbed my laptop and phone then made my way to the lounge where I found Dan and Phil watching a show together. Of course I sat between them.

The rest of the afternoon and late into the night was just us sitting here and watching show after show. Of course we took bathroom breaks and one break long enough to order food but we then went back to doing absolutely nothing.

It was nice being able to sit here and just relax with the guys knowing that the next two weeks were going to hectic as fuck. I was working a lot and the guys were going to be out of the house for the most part of the next two weeks. Something tour wise? I didn't really know anything about it but we wouldn't be able to hang out much.

I knew I was going to miss the guys but they were doing something that was making them happy. How could I not be excited for them?


	35. Chapter 34

**The amount of trouble I've had with this chapter is ridiculous. I just really didn't like it. I just want to get to the part where Sam gets drunk but it's like two chapters away. I just want to skip to then but I can't.**

 **Thank you to BluBlush x2, AmazingRrrachel, crazyrapunzel, and freethinker1993 for the reviews.**

 **Also I have no clue what to do for the chapter for Phil's birthday. GIVE ME IDEAS! Please :D**

 **Chapter 34**

The next day was very hectic. All three of us were up and getting ready to leave the house around the same time. Me for work and the guys for whatever they were doing today. I think they had a meeting but I'm not positive. I am a terrible friend for not paying attention.

It was like we were in some sort of domestic zombie movie where the zombies go to work and stuff, walking around the house being up so early in the morning. We swear we kept bumping into each other because we were too tired to open our eyes and instead of saying anything we just kind of groaned. On top of all of that, we ran out of the good coffee. Now all we had was Phil's instant stuff. No, just no. All I can say is thank god I work in a coffee shop.

I left the house earlier than normal because caffeine. I literally can't function without it. I honestly don't remember walking out of the house and getting to work. I must have been sleep walking. Today I was working with Mary again. Almost as if she knew, she had a cup of coffee all ready for me.

"You are the best person ever." I said while sipping the coffee.

"I'm just making sure I don't have to do all of the work by myself today. That Eric kid is terrible to work with." She said with a laugh.

After work I went food shopping. If I was going to function properly I needed coffee. Plus I picked up a few other things to get us through until we did a big food shop. The next day and the all of the days after where I had to work went slightly differently. Mostly because I went straight home.

For the first week, work was extremely boring. On top of that, I only saw the guys once. They had one day off and they wanted to stay home all day but I unfortunately was working that day so I was out of the house before they woke up and by the time I got home they had to do some work before they left again.

The few days off I had were either spent cleaning the flat or hanging out with Emily. Whose number I now have. She and I seemed to grow closer and closer the more time we spent with each other. We had so much in common it was scary. Same music taste, same movie taste except she actually likes scary movies, even the same clothes and makeup interests. But she was much more adventurous.

Emily was a free spirt and much more spontaneous that I could ever imagine to be. I mean as of right now, her hair is bright red. I could never do that. Not only does it not match my monochromatic aesthetic but it scared the shit out of me. I would end up hating it two days later. She seemed to have an air of confidence about her.

During the second week, Emily and I had practically the same schedule. We worked and had off on all of the same days so you could say that we spent a LOT of time together. On one of our days off we met for breakfast. We got to talking and it turned in to going for lunch. Then dinner. We just couldn't stop talking.

I learned that Emily never even went to college because she didn't see herself doing a job where she needed to have a degree. She really wanted to act but didn't know how to put herself out there. I totally understood but my problem was being too afraid to put myself out there.

We talked about how we both have siblings but unfortunately she didn't have a good relationship with her siblings like I did with Ian. She had three older sibling and one younger. She apparently didn't get along with her three older because they didn't like the fact that she rebelled against what her parents wanted. The only sibling she did have any sort of relationship with was her younger brother.

I learned a lot about her and her about me on this specific day. Like the fact that I can sing. Ever since the guys found out it's like some sort of dam broke from holding in my musical outbursts and now I would break into song and dance, okay so not dance because no one needs to be subjected to that, at random moments.

When we were at lunch Mr. Brightside by The Killers came over the radio and we both burst out into song at hearing it. Don't deny it, you would have too. Another thing I learned about Emily is that she can totally give Dan a run for his money when it comes to singing extremely high pitched and very off key. The thing was, she gave no fucks and I admired that. She obviously knew she sucked at singing but she did it anyway because it was fun.

I met up with Beth once but she said school was starting to get really busy so we only ended up hanging out for like an hour before she had to go. The rest of my time off was spent with Emily and I have nothing to complain about.

After the two weeks were finally over, the guys came home. Their first day, Dan didn't leave his bed let alone his room unless it was for the bathroom. I can't say much because I wore the same t-shirt and leggings I slept in all day that day. He managed to get me to bring him breakfast. When I did I ended up not leaving his room either. I sat down next to him and ended up getting stuck in the episode of Game of Thrones.

We set it up so that my back was against his head board and his laptop was on my lap. Then Dan used my stomach as a pillow.

"You're comfy." Dan mumbled while the next episode was loading.

"Is that just a nice way of telling me I'm fat?" I asked sarcastically.

"No, it means that from now on I'm using you as a pillow instead of the other way around." He said in a matter of fact way.

I laughed because that is probably what's going to happen from now on.

While totally immersed in the episode, I absentmindedly started to run my fingers through his slight hobbit hair. When I realized what I was doing, I almost stopped but Dan didn't seem to notice nor did he say anything so I just continued what I was doing. We ended up falling asleep halfway thought that episode only waking up when Phil came in to tell us that he ordered pizza and it had just arrived.

Because Dan and I had fallen asleep we were wide awake long into the night. The three of us stayed up and watched movie. Around two am we all decided bed was a really good idea and we said our goodnights then headed to our separate rooms.

I didn't wake up until almost noon and when I did I had a migraine the size of Alaska. Which area wise is bigger than Texas. Just sayin'. I knew I needed to go and get Tylenol otherwise I would be kicking myself in the ass later but I just wanted to roll over and hide under the blankets in the dark. I heard a knock on my door and I sunk further down into my mass of blankets.

"Sam?" I heard Dan's voice from the door.

I ignored him but I really hoped he wouldn't jump on me.

"Sam." He said.

He seemed closer this time. Like he was right next to my bed. I braced myself for the pounce but it never came. Instead he sat on my bed and shook me. I groaned.

"Sam, wake up and come hang out with me. Phil is busy and I'm bored." He said with a chuckle.

"No." I said my voice muffled by the blankets.

I felt Dan move the blankets and climb in with me.

"Please Sammie." He whispered in my ear.

I felt his hand on my hip and it gave me chills.

"Headache." I mumbled.

In response he threw the blanket back over my head.

"Fine, if you're not gonna get up then I'm just going to have to hangout in here with you." He said.

"Dan…" I said before he cut me off.

"I'm so bored." He said.

I felt his arm make its way around my stomach then he tucked his hand under me. I felt his chest against my back and I could feel my heart beating wildly. I'm almost positive that he could feel it too.

Keep it together girl. You know how you are when you're tired. Try and calm down. Otherwise you are going to kiss your best friend or say something you'll regret. Don't be stupid!

Even though I tried to talk myself down, I knew it wasn't going to work. I turned over to face Dan. I needed to get him to go away until I was fully awake and not in agonizing pain.

"Get me Tylenol and then leave me alone for like an hour. I'll hang out with you after." I said keeping my eyes closed.

Dan arm was still around me but now his hand was on my lower back and it was driving me crazy. Damn you hormones.

"Okay." He said getting up and leaving my room after a few minutes.

It was a huge relief that his hand was gone. I just wish that I could interact with my best friend without having to fight off the urge to jump his bones. When will this crush finally go away?

I guess I fell asleep again because the next thing I knew was being woken up by Dan laying down next to me again.

"Hey Sam, It's like six at night. Are you sick?" He asked.

"No I just had a really bad headache. It's better now though." I said sitting up and grabbing for the water on my night stand and chugging it.

"Okay well Phil went out with some friends so it's just you and me for a while. Are you hungry?" He said.

As if on cue my stomach rumbled answering the question for me. We made our way down to the kitchen and I took my normal seat on the counter while Dan rummaged through the fridge.

"What do you want to eat?" he asked.

I shrugged my shoulders in response.

"You gotta pick something." He said slightly exasperated.

"I don't know. I'll eat whatever you make." I said.

"You are so indecisive sometimes." He muttered while he started pulling things out of the fridge.

Once again I watched as he cooked. It was entrancing. I couldn't help but watch as he moved around the kitchen and threw things into the pan.

When the food was done we went into the lounge and Dan put some TV show on. I didn't really pay much attention to it. For some reason I was way more interested in watching Dan. Jesus Christ, I'm starting to sound creepy.

We had been sitting on the couch for a while when I heard Dan say fuck. I looked over at him with a questioning look.

"Live show." He said.

"Oh." I said.

I was kind of disappointed that I couldn't hang out with Dan now.

"Do you wanna sit and watch?" Dan asked.

"Really? I thought you felt it weird to have someone just in there watching you." I said.

"Yeah but I really wanna hang out with you. I could just cancel the live show." He said the last part almost to himself.

"NO! You can't cancel because of me. I'll just sit in the corner or something." I said standing and grabbing Dan's hand dragging him into his room.

He laughed at me but just followed along. Once in his room I made myself comfortable on the end of his bed while he prepared for his live show. I made sure to tuck a corner of the duvet under itself so that you could see a corner of the sheet while Dan tucked in the pillow that we don't talk about.

Then I made my way over to the chair in the corner of his room. I played with my phone while I listened to Dan talk. I wasn't really listening to him but just hearing his voice was so relaxing that it had me nodding off. This was a big mistake.

I caught myself falling asleep and my head jerked up but I ended up falling out of the chair. When I was going down I let out a little yip. When I looked up Dan was looking at me just laughing.

"Oh god, that was priceless. I wish I had been filming. That was great." He said to me.

"Ow…" I said quietly.

"Everyone is asking who's with me. Guys, it's just Roomie. Bring her in. No she's sitting in the corner." He said.

"Yeah. Dan said I was a bad girl and I needed to stay in the corner." I said with a smirk and sitting back in the chair.

"What? I never said that?" said Dan.

"Well, I never told you about Phil secret eating your cereal. I catch him all the time and I just don't say anything about it. Remember when you were filming your last Internet Support Group video and you couldn't find your wine so you had to use Ribena. Yeah I drank the last of it." I said.

Dan just looked at me. I got up and put my hand in front of the camera to say hi to everybody but Dan slapped my hand away when it got in view of the camera.

"No! Go back in the corner." He said pointing to the chair.

I couldn't help but laugh.

I didn't say much after that but Dan got a constant stream of bring Roomie in and Roomie this and that. Dan ignored them but I was watching the chat on his laptop. The amount of people asking about me was kind of overwhelming. Not long after Dan ended his live show saying that he was hungry but he and I had already had food.

"So do you really keep it from me when Phil secret eats my cereal?" Dan asked looking over at me.

"Yeah. He usually stops when I catch him." I said standing and stretching my arm above my head.

I watched as Dan got up and walked over to me.

"I can't believe you." He said grabbing on to my sides while my hands were still above my head.

His hand were there of only a few second when I realized what was going to happen next. Before I could do anything to stop it, he started tickling me. My knees gave out and Dan was holding me up. He dragged me to the bed and then continued tickling me until I couldn't breathe. He laid down next to me while I recovered for the tickling torture I had just endured.

"I hate you." I said looking at Dan when I finally caught my breath.

"No, you love me." said Dan confidently.

My heart skipped a beat. Did he know? No, he couldn't know. He's just teasing you. Hurry up and say something before this gets weird.

"Nope. Definitely not. No love in this body for you." I said instantly regretting it.

I closed my eyes and mentally slapped myself for that innuendo.

"Good going Sammie, you made it weird. Congratulations on your weirdness. You weird weirdo." I said out loud.

"I have a feeling that you didn't really mean to say that out loud." said Dan through his obnoxious laugh.

I face-palmed myself. I just managed to make it really, really weird.

"If it makes you feel better I love you in all your weirdness." He said trying to make me feel better.

I covered my face with both of my hands and then rolled off his bed towards the piano. I ended up face down against the piano. Every time Dan told me that he loved me it made my heart hurt. I wanted him to say it and have him mean that he was in love with me but I knew it was a purely platonic love.

I heard Dan still on the bed laughing at me. Eventually I recovered from my awkwardness and sat up still next to the piano.

"Don't laugh at me." I said pouting.

"I can't help it. I tend to laugh when things are cute." He replied.

I could feel my face growing hot. Damn you Daniel.

"Whatever." I said getting up and going into the lounge.

I sat on the couch and Dan sat next to me a few minutes later. Phil came home a little later and we ended up hanging out for the rest of the night. Dan and I didn't really talk much so when Phil came home it was like the air of tension disappeared.


	36. Chapter 35

**I apologize for how long it took me to finally update this story. This is a special chapter because it had a counterpart. In case you didn't notice, I posted a new story called The Brightest Star in My Galaxy: an AmazingPhil Fanfiction. Yup, you read that right. I'm giving Phil his own story and you finally get to find out who Phil's love interest is. It is a spin off so some of the chapters my tie in with each other but I'm currently not consistently updating it. I really just wanted to get it up so that I could post this chapter and the first one at the same time because of how much they tie in with each other.**

 **AmazingRrrachel - yes, that is why we log in :P**

 **Danisnotonfire's Twin Sister - Stay tuned ;) muhahahahahaha**

 **Thank you to BluBlush, guest, and TiredOfBeingNice who was "too lazy to log in" :P for reviewing along with those mentioned above.**

 **P.S. I didn't edit this because I just wanted to get it posted so if you see any mistakes just ignore them.**

 **Enjoy!**

 **Chapter 35**

"We should totally have a Tim Burton movie marathon sometime." said Emily while we were hanging up fake cobwebs at the coffee shop.

Emily and I both really love Halloween so on the first of October we decide to meet up at the coffee shop. We are such Halloween nerds that we went to work on our day off to decorate. It made me lover her even more.

"Oh my god yes. We can go to mine and it'll be the best thing ever." I replied not really being serious about the part where she comes to the flat.

I didn't really know how the guys would react to that.

"It's a plan then. Could we do it tonight?" She asked.

"Let me just see when is a good time for my roommates." I said walking off.

I texted Dan.

 _"Hey, can I bring a friend home. She doesn't really know about YouTube and stuff so she isn't some kind of stalker or something."_ I sent.

 _"Okay."_ Was all I got as a reply.

` Well that was easier than I thought it would be. I was all ready to start bribing with Pumpkin Spice Latte or something like that.

I went back and told Emily the news. We finished up decorating the coffee shop and then made the walk to the flat. Emily had just changed her hair and it was so cool. Honestly it reminded me of Phil. It looked like a blue and green galaxy and it had bits of purple and I was in love with it. Plus it looked even more amazing when curled like it was today.

When we made it to the floor with the lounge Emily spoke for the first time since we left the coffee shop.

"Holy Shizz…Stairs…" she said out of breath.

"This is the reason I'm not fat. They force me to exercise." I said causing Emily to laugh.

Well it was more of a wheeze than a laugh because she was out of breath but her wheeze laugh made me laugh.

"Sammie? Is that you?" I heard from the lounge.

I motioned for Emily to follow me into the lounge.

"Hello Daniel." I said rounding the corner. "This is my friend Emily."

"Hello Emily, it's nice to meet you." He said standing and shaking her hand.

"Is Phil out?" I asked.

"Yeah. Cool hair by the way." He said to Emily.

Her face turned a little red.

"Thanks."

Insert awkward silence here.

"Okay well we're going to go up to my room and watch Halloween movies." I said breaking the silence and grabbing Emily's hand.

I pulled her up to my room. We didn't speak until the door to my room was closed.

"Holy. How do you live with him?" she asked. "I mean he was cute from far away but heck!"

"Barely. I can barely manage being in the same room as him. I've liked him for forever but guess what? He's my best friend. Therefore I am fucked." I said.

"Well technically not…" she said before I threw one of my pillow at her.

My face had gone bright red and she was clearly laughing at me.

We climbed on my bed and I pulled my laptop over to us. Nightmare before Christmas was the first one we watched. Then corpse bride, then we moved on to other Halloween movies that had nothing to do with Tim Burton.

When we had finished the last movie I checked the time and it was almost midnight.

"So you're staying the night and I'm starving." I said looking over at her.

"I'm okay with that. I don't get to move into my new flat for two more days and I hate being in my parent's house." said Em shrugging her shoulders.

I led the way down to the kitchen and we raided the fridge.

"Do you have any cheese?" she asked while I was pulling out berries and stuff.

"Um not much." I said pointing her to where we kept the cheese.

Dan and I are the only ones that even like cheese in the house but we don't really eat it often enough to keep it in the house so it was a miracle it wasn't moldy. Of course Phil being lactose intolerant wouldn't eat it but of course he has to be weird and not like cheese in the first place.

I sat up on the counter while Emily stood in front of me munching on our snacks. I saw a shadow hit the wall across the hall from the kitchen door. Shit, I never told Phil that I was having a friend over. Plus I didn't tell either of them that she was staying the night. Just as I had assumed Phil rounded the corner to probably secret eat something.

He stopped dead in the middle of the doorway, his eyes on the back of Em's head. I watched as his eyes went wide and words tumbled out of his mouth.

"Marry me." he said just above a whisper.

I don't think he meant to say it out loud. The look on Emily's face was proof that she heard it to. She turned to face him then froze as well.

"I mean your hair, it's so cool. I would marry it." He said his eyes going to me pleading to help him.

"Phil, you're being weird. Stop it." I said not being able to hold back the laugh.

At my words Emily was thawed from her frozen state.

"No, it's not that weird. I would marry my hair too. I'm pretty sure that my brother said it was amazing." said Emily looking my way.

I had to hide the smile cause by her use of amazing. She just looked back at me puzzled. I shook my head and she shrugged her shoulder.

"Your hair is definitely amazing. It reminds me of galaxy." said Phil.

"That's what we were going for." said Emily blush coming to her cheeks.

Phil grabbed a glass of water and then went back to his room. Em then turned and looked at me. I couldn't help the smirk from spreading across my face at her reaction to Phil.

"What?" she said slightly annoyed.

"Nothing."

Em and Phil sitting in a tree K-I-S-S-I-N-G. My smirk widened.

Emily just glared at me. I got off the counter and started walking to my room. Before I left the kitchen I turned back to Emily.

"He's single by the way." I said smiling that the shocked look in her eyes.

I managed to make it all the way to the bottom of the stairs where she finally caught up with me. She didn't say anything and just followed me up the stairs. She continued to be silent until we had gotten in my bed and the lights were off.

"He can't be single." She muttered.

I'm sure I wasn't supposed to have heard that but I answered her anyway.

"He is. I promise. You should go for it. He seemed to like you. Or well he liked your hair. Enough to marry it apparently." I said with a bit of humor in my voice.

"Shut up." was her only reply to me.

I laughed and rolled over. I was asleep in minutes.

When I woke up, it was to a sleeping Em pressed up against my back. I tried to wiggle away but she just scooted closer to me. I tried to move again.

"Nooo. You're warm. Come back." I heard her whine.

"EM!" I said when she tried to cuddle up to me again. "It's time to get up."

She groaned and then rolled away from me. A little too far apparently because soon I heard a thud. I turned over and didn't see Em anywhere. I leaned over the bed and couldn't help but laugh at the sight below.

Her hair was everywhere and as she let out an exasperated breath, her hair lifted and then went back to covering her face.

"Are you awake now?" I asked looking down at her.

She stuck her tongue out without thinking and got a mouth full of hair. The face she pulled was priceless.

Not long after she pulled herself off the floor and turned to me.

"Seeing as we have to be awake, I'm hungry." She said.

"Phil will want pancakes. I don't wanna make pancakes." I said burying my face into the pillow.

"Have you ever had an English breakfast?" she asked.

I shook my head in response.

"Wait, you've been in England for four years and you've never had an English breakfast?" she asked incredulously.

Once again I shook my head.

"That's it. I'm cooking you and English breakfast." She said grabbing my hand and pulling me from the bed.

I let her pull me along with little resistance. Once in the kitchen she started raiding the fridge. Pulling out thing I would assume she needed to make this breakfast. I took my spot in the counter and watched as she moved around the kitchen. It was as if the smell of food woke Dan up.

He rounded the corner in sweats that were barely holding on to his hips and his Yeezus t-shirt. His hair was slightly curly and quite messy. Good thing I started the coffee. He grabbed a mug and then squeezed between my legs so he could reach the coffee pot. The second he touched me butterflies erupted in my stomach.

Once his coffee was poured he took a sip. The groan he made at the coffee made my heart flutter. He sat the cup down beside me and then proceeded to wrap his arms around me.

"Thank you for making amazing coffee." He mumbled before he let me go grabbed his coffee and walked out of the kitchen.

I had to suppress and annoyed noise I could feel rising out of my throat. Em just smirked at me. I stuck my tongue out and grabbed my own cup of coffee. When I asked Emily if she wanted some, her reply was she only drank instant. First off eww and second, It's like Em and Phil were made for each other.

Speaking of Phil, he was next to enter the kitchen. He had clearly just woken up because he still hadn't put his contacts in yet and was wearing his glasses. When he rounded the corner, he jumped not realizing we were in the kitchen but he recovered quickly and went along getting coffee. He stood in front of me with coffee cup in hand and I poured him a cup. He then fixed it up and took a sip.

"How is it?" I asked out of curiosity.

"Okay but I still prefer my instant." He said giving me a shrug.

I rolled my eyes. This coffee is so much better.

Emily finished up with the food and I helped her bring everything into the lounge where Dan and Phil were sitting watching an anime. I looked over to see Emily's eyes go from the TV to Phil. An evil grin forming on her lips. I looked at the TV to see a bunch of little kids running around. There were subtitles across the bottom saying different fruits and then there was a little girl sitting all alone. The subtitles underneath said "I was just waiting for someone to call riceball". What in the hell were they watching?

Em walked over to Phil. He was so engrossed in the show that he didn't even notice her until she had wrapped her arms around him hugging him. Dan and I watched as the awkward exchange took place. Phil was frozen in place until Emily let him go. The pout was evident on her face. Phil shot her a questioning look.

"I was just checking to see if you would turn into a rat." said Emily with a brilliant grin.

Dan snorted and Phil just smiled. I was the only one still confused.

"That and it was payback for you weirdness last night." She continued.

"You have amazing hair and you like anime. Marry me." said Phil this time clearly making a joke.

"Nah." said Emily with a laugh.

This time it was my turn to snort in laughter while Dan wore a confused face.

"Come on, let's eat. We'll tell you about it while we do." I said holding my hand out for Dan to take then pulling him to the table.

We all made a plate and then Emily and I started filling Dan in on what happened last night while she and I were raiding the fridge.

"Phil, of all the things you say, it's "Marry me"?" said Dan shooting his best friend "The Judgmental Stare".

I laughed at the guilty look and Phil's face. He just shrugged his shoulders and shoveled food into his mouth so he didn't have to say anything.

"This is really good by the way." said Dan before also stuffing his face.

"Thanks." said Em looking down at her plate.

We finished breakfast in silence then Em and I cleaned up. We were loading the dishwasher when Dan came into the kitchen.

"So I know you decorated the coffee shop yesterday but I was wondering if you wanted to help decorate the kitchen today." said Dan standing in the corner of the room.

Emily answered before I could.

"YES!" she said excitedly.

"Well I guess it a yes." I said looking over at Dan who was smiling at me.

We finished the dishes while he went and got the decorations. Phil joined us a little later and the four of us started in on decorating the kitchen.

We hung cobwebs and pumpkin lights on the exhaust thing about the stove and then we hung these ghost things on the handles of the cupboards. Then Dan insisted that we hang the skull that had blinking eyes in the middle. I told him that it wasn't symmetrical but his argument was that it was in the middle so it technically was. I couldn't help but give in. His puppy eyes are my biggest weakness.

When we finished decorating, Emily said that she had to go home or her parents would freak out. That and she needed to pack so she could move into her new flat. I'm really glad I had her over. She seemed to get along with Dan and Phil really easily. Especially Phil. I ship it, just sayin'.

After Em left, the three of us went into the lounge and started and X-files marathon. After the first episode, Dan said something about the bathroom leaving me alone with Phil. I turned to him.

"So how do you like Emily?" I asked.

"She's cool but I can't believe I asked her to marry me. That's so embarrassing." He said his face going a little red.

"It was more of a command than a question." I said causing him to groan in embarrassment.

"You should ask her out. I saw the way you kept looking at her at breakfast this morning." I said nonchalantly.

Phil choked on the popcorn in his mouth. I had to fight a smile attempting to form on my face.

"I highly doubt she would say yes." said Phil when he recovered for inhaling the popcorn.

"I don't think so. She seemed to like you pretty well." I said the smile slipping on to my face before I could stop it.

"Yeah, Right." said Phil.

"Oh my god! You two freaking like each other. Just ask her out. It is infuriatingly annoying that you can't see what I see." I said my voice going an octave higher.

"Now you know how I feel about you and Dan." He whisper yelled seconds before Dan turned the corner and sat in his spot next to me.

I couldn't retaliate because Dan was now here so I just glared at Phil. We all went back to watching the TV.

Later on in the night Dan turned to Phil and mentioned Spooky week.

"We need to figure out what we're doing." Phil said at the mention of the exciting Dan and Phil event.

"I think we should make Sam play the scary games with us." said Dan with and evil grin.

"Yeah…no." I said.

"Oh come on. It'll be fun." Phil chimed in.

"Yeah, for you two." I said really not wanting to do this.

"Please…" said Dan with those evil puppy eyes.

He uses my weakness to his advantage. I groaned in reply not wanting to speak because I knew I would give in.

"I'll only do it if we do a spooky baking video." I said finally.

"Only if you're in all of the spooky week videos." said Phil giving me and ultimatum of his own.

I groaned. Dammit!

"Fine…" I said.

Dan reached over and pulled me into a hug. When he pulled away he started talking again.

"This is so cool. I just had a brilliant idea. This could be the lead up to you being in a video where you don't hide your face. We could do AmazingSamisnotonfire. It'll be the best video we've ever made." said Dan getting excited.

A feeling of fear and dread came over me. It's too soon. I can't show my face in videos yet. I put on my poker face. I didn't want Dan to know I was freaking out. I didn't want to ruin his excitement.

The rest of the night, the guys and I planned out what we were going to do for the videos. Well I say I planned but really I just sat occasionally saying something or stayed silent freaking out about the fact that Dan wanted me to show my face.

I don't think I'm ready for this. I honestly don't think I can do it but if Dan pulls out the puppy eyes, I don't think I'll be able to turn him down. Either way, I hope I don't get murdered by the Phangirls.


	37. Chapter 36

**I really wanted to get this out on Thursday but life and adult things took over but I have it now and it was twelve freaking pages long. This is by far the longest chapter I've written so far and it's leading up to a really important thing that happens between Dan and Sam :*...**

 **Thank you to UnicornBlessing, BluBlush, and Danisnotonfire's Twin Sister for reviews on last chapter.**

 **Enjoy!**

 **Chapter 36**

It took almost two weeks for the guys and me to finally start recording the videos that I reluctantly agreed to be in. Of course I wouldn't be showing my face but still, just knowing that Dan saw this as the lead up to me showing my face in a video freaked me out a bit.

Just before we started filing the first video, we had to decorate the gaming room. Phil left Dan and me to do that. We hung cobwebs over the back of the couch and on the walls. In order to get the cobwebs to stick to the wall, I had to climb up on the couch. The second I stood up, I almost fell. Dan of course caught me but somehow, one of his hands ended up on my butt.

"Uh, sorry." said Dan with his hand still there.

If he were to take it away I would probably end up falling on him. I managed to get my footing and Dan finally let go of me. Not only was that slightly awkward but I also kind of liked it. NO! Bad brain!

Nothing else exciting happened except we bumped heads because I moved to look at something that same time he did. Soon we were headed down to the lounge to drag Phil up so he could check out the decorating job. Of course he said it was good, probably just so that Dan wouldn't spend another hour trying to fix something.

The first video we filmed was Dan and Phil playing The Cellar Door. We were set up as they normally would but now that we have another to chair I sat in the corner where I couldn't be seen by the camera. I had my legs up in Dan and Phil's lap but once again they were out of the camera's view.

I suggested this game to Phil. When he looked it up he realized just form the start screen that Dan needed to play this game. Phil had it up but it was minimized while they talked to the camera. We wanted Dan to be…surprised.

"Hello Dan and Phil games Phantoms." said Phil.

"Phantoms?" Dan asked.

"Yeah, like ghosts." Phil replied.

"Phil, PHANtoms…" said Dan pointing out the unintentional pun.

"I didn't even realize I did that. It was a good one." said Phil with a smirk.

Dan shook his head and the turned back to the camera.

"Today we are playing, Phil…what are we playing?" said Dan looking over at Phil.

"We are playing a game the Roomie suggested specifically for Dan." said Phil.

Dan shot me a suspicious look.

"Well if it scares me, it'll scare her too." He said not braking eye contact with me.

"In case you couldn't tell by that, we have Roomie with us today. We managed to talk her in to being in spooky week. Roomie, say hi to the Phantoms." said Phil.

I leaned forward enough so that my hand would be in view of the camera then waved. Dan turned out the lights and we were immersed in to darkness. Phil waited for Dan to settle back down in his chair before speaking.

"Okay as I said before, we are playing a game called The Cellar Door." said Phil pulling up the game.

Dan jumped at the sight of a girl crawling towards the screen.

"Jesus…fffffffff. It almost looks like the girl from the ring. S-Roomie, I hate you." said Dan with his hand over his heart.

"No…you love me." I said with a shit eating grin.

"NO!" said Dan putting emphasis on the word to signify that he really meant it.

"Okay let's play." said Phil.

He pushed wakeup and the game started.

Dan read the little prompt at the beginning then they started to play.

"So its point and click and we have an allotted amount of time to collect all of the marbles." said Dan.

At almost a minute in there was a jump scare with a little girl peeking out of a door.

"Shiiii…it's too realistic." said Dan in a high pitched voice that made my ears hurt.

The guys had been playing for about a few minutes and they had found a few marbles and not many at all. After Phil got them miserably lost, Dan decided to go back to where they started so that they could do it in some kind of order. So from the starting room he went out. He then turned around and was faced with a door. You could go forward once without having to open the door. Once you got to that point, there was the option to go left. Then they were faced with a decision. Left or right. Dan of course decided on left first where they managed to get a marble. Then they went right. As soon and they clicked a woman came at them screaming. Dan almost fell out of his chair but caught himself on the desk before he could topple over. Even I jumped a little and I knew what would happen.

They played a little longer collecting one more marble. Phil found what looked almost like a safe. Dan clicked on it and it opened to what looked like a hole lined with bricks and what looked to be ashes in the bottom. After wiggling the mouse around a bit they found a pipe that could be clicked on. The second they clicked on it, it gave you a view of looking down the pipe. Moments later screaming started and a face appeared on the other end of the pipe.

This time I was not expecting it nor did I know that it would happen. It jumped the living daylights out of me. I jumped back and screamed. Moments after I started screaming I knew I was doomed as gravity was pulling me down. Dan had also gone a little unbalanced. He had one hand on my foot almost as if to catch himself but he would have easily been able to right himself it hadn't been for the fact that the floor was attempting to greet me.

Because I had my legs in both of the guys laps and Dan and I were on either side of Phil, my fall coupled with Dan being slightly unbalanced and holding on to my leg, caused the three of us to crash backwards onto to the floor. Phil had no chance of saving himself. Impact with the floor was painful but because I fell sideways, I at least saw the floor coming. The guys were not so lucky when it came to viewing the impending impact. They were however fortunate enough that neither of them hit their head.

"Sa-Roomie…" Dan groaned from the floor.

Maybe we should tell them my name so Dan will stop almost saying that instead of Roomie.

"I'm sorry. Ow." I said.

"I think the fall scared me more than the actual game did." said Phil sounding kind of squished because had basically Dan pulled me onto Phil a little during the fall.

"Sorry!" I said really feeling bad for bringing them all down with me.

I barely managed to get off the guys without showing my face but all of the viewers got quite a nice view of my butt. Thank god I had stolen on of Phil's hoodies and had the hood pulled over my head. It helped shield my face in the process of me getting up. Soon we had all righted ourselves but in the process we ran out of time and the game was over.

"Well I guess that's the end of this spooky week video. See you tomorrow for another exciting game." said Phil with a smile.

"Yeah you're leaving. You are a terrible friend. Roomie is going to be just as scared as I will." said Dan glaring at Phil.

Phil just shrugged.

"The two of you will be okay without me. Just don't fall and break anything." Phil replied with a smirk.

"I'M SORRY!" I said making the guys laugh.

Dan reached over and turned the camera off.

"At least I this time I didn't fall out of my chair because I was scared." said Dan once we had made our way down to the kitchen for a snack.

"I said I was sorry." I said with a high pitched voice and a pout.

Dan came over and wrapped his arms around me from behind.

"We aren't mad at you. It was funny and the viewers are going to like it." He said with what sounded like a smile in his voice.

He then kissed the top of my head making me freeze. Before he noticed my reaction he had already let go and was walking out of the kitchen. Did Dan just really kiss my head? I felt my heart flutter and a tornado of butterflies start up in my stomach. All I could think was that I really had wished it had been my lips that he kissed. GOD DAMMIT SAMMIE! NO! You cannot think about your best friend like this. Bad brain!

The next day, Phil had left to go and visit family leaving Dan and I alone for the next few days. The Sunday before Phil came back, Dan and I reluctantly made our way up to the gaming room to film a video the both of us were dreading. With only two weeks left to film three more videos, we really had to get cracking on making this next gaming one.

Once again I had stolen Phil's bright yellow Adventure Time hoodie and had the hood pulled over my head. I really liked how the arms were a little too long and fell over my hands by like four inches. Dan had set the camera up so that it was more zoomed in that way I could sit a little closer. Dan turned on the camera and soon began.

"Okay let's just get this over with, yeah? So Phil has decided to leave Roomie and me alone to film this next video for you. As you can see from the title, we will be playing from where I left off in…Outlast. I am not looking forward to this." He said with a grimace. "Oh Dan, you should be okay, you have Roomie. NOOO! She's just as scared of this stuff as I am if not more."

"We will both be sleeping in the lounge with all of the lights on." I said to emphasize just how scared we would both be.

"The honestly in that statement." Dan said looking down at the computer and shaking his head while he starting the game.

"So I left off where we were turning on the generators before I died." said Dan opening the saved game that he had.

I instantly covered my eyes because I hate scary things. Anyway it took almost an hour for Dan to turn on all of the generators and turn the power back on. Dan was making his way up the stairs when all of a sudden I got a really foreboding feeling.

"Dan, I have a bad feeling about this." I said as he reached the top of the stairs.

"Of course you do, this is a scary game." said Dan not really taking me seriously.

"No Dan, I have a really bad feeling." I said as he was walking in to the computer room.

"I'm just going to unlock the door and get out of here." said Dan going to the computer.

Before his character could do anything he was grabbed from behind and the priest guy was shoving a giant needle in him. I let out a high pitched squeal at the same time Dan yelled. I covered my face with the sleeves of the sweatshirt I was wearing.

"I told you! I told you I had a bad feeling! Did you listen to me? No!" I yelled hitting Dan's arm in a light punch.

"Ow!" said Dan looking over at me.

He could see the pure terror on my face and reached over pulling me into a hug. My face was now in the view of the camera so I kept it covered.

"I hate you for making me do this." I said, my voice coming out muffled because of the sleeves.

Dan just laughed at me. I hit him again and he let me go.

"Okay, so we've woken up in a cell and he took our clothes. Great!" said Dan going back to the game.

We ended up in a place that looked like a cell block in a prison except all of the cells were padded. That and there were a ton of people walking around. Dan's eyes went wide. He was being cautious because of the guy in the wheel chair that attacked him. He explored for a while until he found a crack in one of the cell walls.

He followed the path and then climbed up in a hole. When he turned the camera back on we were met with an inmate with his arms tied in a straight jacket but it was the background that made me cover my eyes.

"What the fuck!" said Dan after he yelled.

I heard one of the inmates telling Dan's character that he was sick.

"I don't get it, what did I do?" said Dan.

"You really didn't see what was going on?" I asked incredulously.

"I saw the guy with the scary face and jumped back down the hole." said Dan.

He had clearly climbed back up now but as if he did see what happened.

"He's the sicko that was butt raping the dead body. You walked in on some major necrophilia and you didn't even notice."

As my words hit him his face changed from one of confusion to one of disgust.

"Okay maybe I'm glad that I didn't realize that was going on."said Dan going back to the game.

I watched as he played a little longer until Dan found a message written in blood that said "follow the blood".

"Really! They want me to follow the blood. Of all the things to follow they want me to follow the blood?" said Dan.

"At least they didn't say follow the spiders." I said referencing Harry potter.

"Ha ha you are so funny." said Dan in a monotone voice.

The game ended when we had to go push an air lock and a big scary man with no pants killed us. I was on the verge of tears.

"Okay now that Roomie has been mentally scarred and I'm afraid to sleep, I think it's time to end this part of Outlast. Bye." said Dan looking just as scared as I felt.

"Hey Dan?" I said causing him to look over at me. "I hate you so much right now and I'm never playing a scary game with you ever again."

Dan just laughed at me and turned the camera off.

That night we both ended up sleeping on the couch in the lounge. I wasn't kidding when I said that. The lights were all on. Every single one in the house I think. One good thing about sleeping in the lounge with Dan is that the only way we can both fit on the sofa is I have to sleep with my head on one arm of the couch and Dan with his head on the other. That means no cuddling. I don't know if I'm happy or sad about that. Nope definitely happy. I am stronger than this crush.

Phil woke us up in the morning when he came home. Then he laughed at us knowing that we had filmed the video last night. We were put through much teasing, mostly me after Dan told him about the disturbing butt rape scene. My eyes are for sure scarred.

We took a few days off from filming, mostly because I had to work. That and Dan started an existential crisis about the video he wanted to film for his channel. It was the shortest one by far and only lasted a day or so before he finally decided to film his video. We didn't start the next video until Friday.

Reluctantly I followed the guys up to the gaming room and sat in my designated chair. I honestly don't think I'll be able to handle the rest of spooky week with the way we're going. I may have a heart attack first. Before long everything was set up and they guys were launching into their introduction.

"Hello Dan and Phil games… strait jackets?" said Phil ending it as a question.

Dan just gave Phil a look.

"That was terrible. I'm so sorry." said Phil addressing the camera.

Dan just continued his silence and shook his head.

"Today we are playing Amnesia: The Dark Decent and by "we" I mean me and Phil and Roomie!" said Dan trying to bring it back.

"I don't plan on falling this time." I said as I waved my hand in front of the camera.

I watched Dan smirk at the camera.

"Okay let do this." said Phil starting a new game.

The game began in a dimly lit corridor that looked to be made of bricks. There were subtitles across the screen so that we could read as well as hear them. I was thankful for this because I couldn't really hear what the character was saying. Then the view changed. It was a different corridor but what caught my eye was the subtitles down at the bottom. _"My name is Daniel, I live in London"._ I looked over at Dan.

His face was priceless. He had wide eyes and his mouth dropped open. He held this expression for only a second before saying something.

"This is some shit. I don't like it." He said.

"That's actually the name of the character. I looked it up. I knew it would freak you out." said Phil with an evil grin.

"This is not okay. It makes it too real. The emersion is too real." said Dan a little too dramatically.

The guys were just talking and then I heard Dan read "Follow the liquid trail."

"The liquid trail? It means the blood. Follow the fucking blood. You have to be fucking kidding me. Follow the blood. That is blood. Nothing good comes out of following the blood. Just look at what happened in Harry Potter. They followed the blood and got attacked. Yesterday we followed the blood and some guy with no pants on killed us and probably butt raped us." said Dan.

I understood why he was freaking out this time but I couldn't help the laugh that escaped my lips. We had to follow the blood in Outlast. We were still not over the trauma of the last game we played. I watched as Phil played. Eventually I just started to zone out. I wasn't very interested in the game anymore. I just kind of zoned out until I heard them closing out the video.

"I doubt we will make a series out of this but we will probably play in our own time. I hope you enjoyed this even though I didn't really get all that scared because we all know why you little shits watch these videos. You want to see me utterly crap myself." said Dan.

"Okay I think we should order pizza." I said after Dan turned off the camera.

That's exactly what we did we went down to the lounge and ordered pizza. When it came we just hung out and watched whatever Phil had put on.

During the next couple of days, Dan and Phil started in on editing the videos that were already filmed. We still had two more and I had to look for the recipe I wanted for the baking video. I knew what I wanted to do but it took a while to find the right recipe.

Then I had to go shopping for all of the ingredients. This video had somehow turned into my baby. That and Dan planned on putting it on his channel which kind of made me feel like it had to be really, really good. I wanted to make it worthy of being on his channel. It had to meet both mine and Dan's expectations. I'm a dork. I know.

It was a few days before Halloween and we planned to do both of the videos in the same day. That left us two whole days to plan for the Halloween party we had been invited to. Well Dan and Phil were invited but Dan asked me to go as his "date" because he didn't want me to spend Halloween alone. Phil asked me to text Emily to see if she could come as well.

I didn't know what she had planned on going as but I was still waiting for my costume to come in the mail. I was starting to get anxious about the whole thing. I was worried that I wouldn't get it on time.

The day the guys started posting the videos is when I really, really started to get into the Halloween mood. They had posted two so far and now we were going to film the baking video. I had all of the ingredients in my room so that Phil couldn't secret eat anything important. I know how to keep my shit in hiding.

I was currently up in my room changing into a pair of leggings I didn't care if I got dirty and a black t-shirt that said "BOO!" in while lettering across the front of it. This was as Halloweeny as I would get before actual Halloween. That and it was the only thing that I had that could even be considered Halloween related.

Once dressed I made my way down to the kitchen where the guys had been setting up for the video. I grabbed the ingredients and brought them with me. If Phil somehow managed to get anything out of the bag without me noticing I swear to god I may actually have to murder that boy. I dropped the bag off in the kitchen and then made my way to the bathroom where I had left the stuff for my face.

Last year for Halloween I was a zombie. I had a friend in Uni who is now a makeup artist and she got me some things and I had some leftovers. I had been saving it this makeup but I knew I wouldn't be able to hide my face in this video. The guys and I had bought a few masks for this exact reason but I felt like none of them were good enough. I needed something to hide my face because I didn't have anything to hide behind or any way of staying out of view of the camera unless I sat beside it. Which in all honesty is probably what's going to happen anyway because it really isn't big enough for the three of us.

Anyway, the guys didn't know I was doing this. They thought I was just going to wear a mask like planned so I knew they would be surprised. This excited me even more. I managed to make my face almost completely unrecognizable. Over half of it was completely covered in a prosthetic and latex paint. I added one white and one black contact. I looked fucking creepy.

When I was sure that I was sure I was done, I texted Dan to go ahead and start the video and I would be up in a few minutes. I opened the door and his voice carried down the stairs. I slowly made my way up and then waited outside the kitchen for my que to come in.

"So this spooky baking video was thought up and everything by Roomie. We actually don't even know what the recipe is or what we are even making so we better go find Roomie. Roomie?" I heard Dan say.

I popped out from around the corner and Dan's face transformed into one of horror. I successfully scared the shit out of my best friend. Phil wouldn't have even looked over if Dan hadn't let out that girly scream he does when he gets scared.

"I guess were going to have to put a in that there are jump scares." said Dan before I even came into view of the camera.

I slowly made my way to the front of the camera and just waved.

"Wow Roomie, I didn't know you could do stuff like that. Will you do mine for Halloween?" Phil asked.

I kept my face expressionless and just nodded. I was trying to be creepy.

"So what are we making today?" Dan asked draping an arm around my shoulder.

"Monster Eye Cookies." I said trying not to smile.

I didn't want my makeup to move too much. I needed it to last for a while.

I started listing off the ingredients and handing them to Dan. Who threw them to Phil. I was going to tell them directions while the guys actually made the cookie.

"Okay Roomie what do we do first?" Phil asked.

"Beat butter, vanilla, egg, and cream cheese until fluffy." I said standing in front of the camera them moving off so I was out of view and out of the way.

When they were done, the guys looked up to me.

"Mix the cake mix in." I said once again in the view of the camera before going back to my spot.

When I saw the guys were almost done with that I stood in front of the camera once again.

"Divide the dough into four equal sized balls and separate in different bowls."

The guys did as I said and then I went over and added three drops of food coloring to each of the balls. One pink, one blue, one green, and one purple. Dan was explaining what I was doing in the close up cam.

"Now mix them." I said now out of view of all of the cameras.

Then we have to wait thirty minutes while they chill." I said still off camera.

These contacts were really starting to bother me.

"Phil, how in the hell do you deal with contacts on a regular basis. This things hurt." I said while Dan was putting the dough in the fridge.

"You get used to them I guess." He replied.

When the cookie dough was all in the fridge, the three of us made our way into to the lounge and watched an episode of the anime the guys were currently watching. It was only twenty minutes so that left us sometime to just talk.

"Sam, why didn't you tell us you were going to do this instead of the mask? This is fucking cool." said Dan.

I shrugged my shoulders because I honestly didn't really know why I didn't tell them. It might have been so that I could attempt to scare Dan but really I had no clue.

"Yeah, I want mine done now." said Phil with a small pout.

I couldn't help but smile at him.

"I would have loved to have done your makeup Phil but I didn't really have enough. This is just what was left over from last year." I explained.

I hadn't spent Halloween with them because I had gone out with some friends from Uni that had been trying to get me out of the house for ages. When I finally agreed, they told me that we were going out on Halloween. I didn't have plans with the guys but I really wished that I had.

Soon we hear the timer go off signaling that it was time for the cookies to be made into actual cookies. I led the way to the kitchen. Dan turned the camera back on. Phil with iPhone in hand made his way to over to the fridge with Dan. They pulled out the dough and I from my spot beside the camera told them that all they needed to do was roll them into balls and dip them in powdered sugar before putting them in to bake.

I watched at the guys did all the work. I kind of like this whole bossing them around thing. Now I know why Lily can be so bossy sometimes.

"Bake at 350F for ten to twelve minutes." I said once the last ball had been rolled and powdered.

The guys just smiled not wanting to get in the argument about now that I was in a place that used Celsius, I needed to convert over but I flat out refused. Dan had made a little chart telling me the conversions for when and if I ever cooked in the over.

We just kind of hung out in the kitchen until the cookies were done. Of course at least five minutes of that time was taken up by a cooking rave because what's a baking video without one. When the timer went off and Dan pulled the cookies out of the oven I knew it was my time.

"So how exactly are we supposed to make these into monsters?" Dan asked.

I pulled out the last ingredient that I hadn't told the guys about yet. The candy eyes.

"Remember they are called Monster Eye Cookies." I said putting emphasis on eye.

I went and added about five eyes to each of the cookies. And then when I was done Phil did a once over of all of the cookies with the close up cam.

Of course all of the actual directions will be in the description of the video in case we didn't explain anything right." said Dan.

"Can I eat one now?" Phil asked from the corner.

I nodded and he went for a blue one. Dan grabbed a green one and I went for a purple one. We all took bits at the same time. I couldn't help the smile at the moan Dan let out when the first bite of cookie hit his tongue. I snorted. I actually snorted in laughter when he held out the noise and then made his voice go higher.

"These are so good." said Phil from the other side of me.

I do have to admit that they were pretty good. I didn't think they would come out this well what with the guys cooking them and all but they were good. The guys ended the video while I just stood there and munched on my purple monster cookie and stared at the camera.

A thought came to mind and an evil smirk grew on my face. I inched closer to Dan until his shoulder was only inched from my mouth. I opened and bit down on his shoulder. I didn't do it hard but Dan jumped and then screamed.

"AHHH I've been infected. Phil help!" he said playing along.

This was going to be turned into a thing. I knew it was.

"Sorry Dan," said Phil throwing up his hands and stepping around me. "You're on your own now."

"Phiiiiiiilll." Dan screamed.

He and I both fell on the floor in a pile of giggles.

"Go put more blood on your face and come back and say something. It'll be funny." He said.

I got up and made my way to the bathroom and put fake blood all over my mouth and then swished some around in my mouth to make my teeth go a little red. When I was done I ran back up to the kitchen.

"Okay what should I say?" I asked Dan and Phil who were standing outside the kitchen.

"I don't know, just wing it." said Dan with a smirk.

I went in the kitchen and got really close to the camera. What do I say?

"He tasted much better than a cookie." I said with an evil smirk and a wink.

I managed to hold it for fifteen seconds before bursting out in laughter. I could hear the guys laughing from just outside the kitchen. I couldn't help but laugh harder causing me sink down to the floor.

"I'll be in the lounge editing you two wanna clean up in here?" he asked.

"Yeah do what everything you can to not have to clean." said Dan with a smirk.

Dan stepped over me to turn the camera off before extending a hand to me. I grabbed hold and he pulled me off the floor. I was still laughing a little when I bumped into his chest losing my balance a little. His hands automatically wrapped around me to keep me from falling over. I looked up and our eyes met.

The sensation of drowning was almost instantaneous. I could feel where one of his hands was at the small of my back. His other hand traveled from my back to my hip and then up to my rib. The feeling of his hand gave me goosebumps in the best way. My lips were tingling with the urge to touch them to his. I bit the side of my lips in anticipation. I watched as he broke eye contact and looked down. I took this as a chance to look at his lips. I could feel myself leaning in.

"Hey Dan!" said Phil from the lounge.

Dan and I jumped apart. I couldn't look at him. There was a sudden air of awkwardness between us and I now completely hated myself for the way I reacted to him. I probably scared him off. When I looked up again I was now alone in the kitchen. I could feel my heart beating out of my chest. Dammit Sammie! You fucked up good this time. You just almost kissed your best friend.

I pushed everything to the back of my mind. I couldn't think about it right now. I knew that if I did angry tears would start to pour. Instead I got to cleaning the kitchen. I had just finished loading the dishwasher when I hear someone come into the kitchen.

I turned and was met face to face with the one and the only Dan Howell. My best friend. The guy I just tried to kiss. My throat closed up and I felt my heart sink. He pointed to the camera and then went to take it down. I slowly made my way out of the kitchen and down to the bathroom.

The reflection in the mirror scared me until I remembered that I had zombie makeup on. I peeled off the latex makeup and the prosthetic. The sensation was almost as satisfying as pulling off fake eye lashes but I couldn't really get much enjoyment from it. All I could think about was the fact that I just tried to kiss Dan.

If Phil hadn't yelled, I would have. I would have kissed him without a second thought. No, I can't keep thinking about this. It needs to stop. I just need to keep my distance from Dan for a bit. Then I won't get the chance to kiss him. You need to pull yourself together. You still have one more video to film with them. You don't even have to sit next to Dan. Phil will be between you two. Phil. I don't know if I want to hit him for making me come to my senses and not kiss Dan or hug him… for making me not kiss Dan.

I scrubbed the makeup off my face while I talked myself into doing the video with the guys. I really had to push all of my feeling towards my best friend to the back of my mind. I made a decision before leaving the bathroom. No matter how awkward Dan acts, I'm going to act as normal as possible. I'm going to act like what happened back in the kitchen never happened in the first place.

I opened the door and put a smile on my face. I made my way up to the lounge where the guys were most likely importing the footage of the baking video so that there would be room for the gaming video that we now had to film. I entered the lounge to find them at the table. I went and sat next to Phil.

Dan didn't acknowledge my presence and just kept doing whatever it was he was doing on the computer. Phil looked over and gave me a smile. I returned it halfheartedly. The three of us sat like this until the footage was all safely on the computer and the card was empty.

"Who's ready to film the last spooky week video." said Phil excitedly.

"I'll just be glad when it's all over." said Dan in reply.

I made a noise of agreement. Time to do some major acting. Yah know acting like I didn't just almost kiss my best friend. No! Don't think about it. Locked in a box. Stuck in back of mind. Never to return!

The three of us all got up and begrudgingly, at least on my part, made out way up the stairs to the gaming room. We took the same three seats we've taken in all of the other spooky week videos and I prepared myself for the on-coming scary game.

"Hello Dan and Phil games marshmallow ghosts!" said Phil excitedly.

Dan chose to say nothing about Phil's name for the subscribers today. Instead he just shook his head a little.

"Today we are playing a game called Spooky's House of Jumpscares." said Dan with is infamous smirk. "So expect me to shat myself today."

I had to bite my lip to keep myself from laughing.

"By the way Roomie is no longer a zombie. We found that all we needed to do to cure her was make her fall in love. As a result, I am no longer infected with her Zombie disease." said Dan.

I don't think he realized that it insinuated that we fell in love with each other and no way in hell am I pointing that out. Phil on the other hand just looked over at Dan giving him the same look that Dan normally gives him when he says something that is unintentionally suggestive. Once again, I was holding back my laughter.

"Roomie is also here with us and we have super glued her chair to the floor so it won't tip over." said Phil.

"How many times do I have to apologize for that? I'm sorry for making you fall over. I didn't mean to take you down with me. If Dan hadn't grabbed onto my leg, I would have been the only one to fall. Therefore it's not totally my fault." I said in a high pitched whiny voice that annoyed even me.

The guys just laughed at me.

"I wish I was still a zombie so I could bite both of you. Now I have no excuse to cause you physical pain." I said my voice going from high pitched and whiny to murderous.

They just laughed harder at me.

"I hate you." I said to the both of them.

I stared them down until they stopped laughing but when Phil looked at me the giggles overcame him once more. Finally after a good fifteen minutes of the guys laughing at my expense, they stopped.

"Okay so let's play this thing." Said Dan.

The first thing that happened was the voice of a little girl started going off. The game looked really pixelated but everything in it was utterly cute.

"Just…just go. I like her." Said Dan going thought the first door.

The door made a loud creak. He just kept going. I stopped paying attention after the first few minutes because nothing happened. Then there was a loud noise all of a sudden. It happened to be a cute noise instead of a scary. Dan jumped anyway. The guys went back to playing and I somehow managed to just space out.

I thought back to what happened in the kitchen. I guess somethings just can't be locked away but I still wasn't going to let it affect my friendship with Dan. If I closed my eyes and tried really hard to remember, I could almost feel Dan's hand on my ribs. I could almost feel the gentle circles he had been rubbing into my back. I could almost feel his breath on my face. It smelled like hot chocolate and cookies. I licked my lips remembering how when he exhaled, the air from him mouth brushed across my lips almost as if it were preparing them for him lips to lean in.

Part of wished that I had just kissed him like I so badly wanted to. What if it just felt weird? Then I would know that I just liked the idea of him. Then we could just continue to be friends. Yeah it would be weird for a little while but we would get over the awkwardness and just go back to before.

Oh who am I kidding? I know it would feel amazing. I know I would fall for him even more. I know things would never be the same between the two of us. I lo-like Dan a lot. It would just make things worse. I need to stop trying to talk myself into kissing him. It'll only lead to bad things. Things I don't think I'll be able to handle.

"Well that's Spooky's house of Jumpsacres. I hope you liked it. If you missed them, click here to watch the previous spooky week videos. Thanks for joining us for another spooky week." said Dan bring me back to reality and out of my head.

"Remember that when you turn a corner there may be a happy spider that pops out at you." said Phil with a smile.

"You do know that that is nightmare inducing, right?" said Dan.

Phil just shrugged his shoulders.

Dan turned the camera off a few seconds later and turned to Phil.

"Well I guess we have some editing to do fi we want to get these up on time." Said Dan.

"Yeah." Phil agreed. "Sam, are you going to keep us company while we edit?"

I shook my head. "No I have a thing I need to do tomorrow. Oh and I'm expecting a package. It still hasn't come yet so if it comes while I'm out, will you let me know?"

"Sure." Phil answered.

Dan was trying to avoid eye contact. I don't blame him.

The three of us parted ways. Dan and Phil down to edit and me to go to bed. I wasn't kidding that I had some stuff to do tomorrow. Things like helping Emily find a costume and a much needed haircut. The blonde strip had to go. I was getting so sick of it. It was time for a change. Nothing as drastic as Em but just something…different.

I went to bed that night with thoughts of what ifs running through my head. I hate that I couldn't just forget it. I hate that I had to continue to bring it up to myself. I hate that I'm in lo-that I have a crush on my best friend. Things need to change.


	38. I'm Not Dead!

Hey, Its me. I'm alive. A lot has happened and this is me telling you everything that's happened. Let's go back an entire year ago.

Around this time last year, I was suffering from some major writers block. Lily and I went to Florida at the end of July. Both of us were over worked and my Grandmother was sick and we just needed a getaway. We spent eight wonderful and relaxing/fun (mostly because of going to FREAKINGHARRYPOTTER at Universal). When we got home, life just seemed to take over. My grandmother grew increasingly sick and then Lily announced that she was PREGNANT! Because she is so close with my family, my mom, brother, and grandparents were super excited. While all of this is going on, my mom filed for divorcee. My dad had got fired... TWICE... and was not putting any effort into finding a job or doing anything what-so-ever around the house to help my mom. She got sick of it and decided she was done. My whole childhood, my parents fought a lot but my mom put up with it because of me and my brother. Around holiday time, my grandmother was diagnosed and basically her esophagus wasn't letting food pass into her stomach so she was basically starving to death plus some other stuff that is more gross and medical. She had a surgery in hopes it would extend her life by a couple years. In the beginning it was working all right. Unfortunately it only extended her life by a couple of months. In march, she started to go down hill. Also in March, my dog got really sick. She ended up having to have emergency surgery That literally cost me 1000 times what I paid for her (her previous owners literally just gave her to me so i had to spend $1,000). It was worth it though because I love her to pieces. It took two very hard weeks for my grandmother to finally pass. If you've never had a loved one pass, it may sound as if i wanted her to die but where i work in a nursing home, it's a normal part of life that I am very used to. When someone who is dying holds so hard to life that their body is actively dying but the person inside lingers, It's very hard to watch from a caretaker point of view and it's much, much worse from a family POV. Well my grandmother passed and we had her funeral the next Saturday. LITERALLY THE NEXT DAY, I planned, set up, and hosted Lily's baby shower. After that my grandfather (who I live with) had to get used to it being just him and I instead he, my grandmother, and I. He was lost for a while because he didn't know what to do with himself. For so long, most of my life, he has had to care for her in some form. Now he just didn't. May rolled around and Lily's due date grew closer. Finally, very early in the morning we got the call from her to come to the hospital. On May 4th, I got to watch my best friend give birth. It was beautiful and very gross at the same time and I had a very close up view (I got to hold her leg). Then as of June first quit my job and started a new one. Throughout this whole time, my writers block stuck around. However I have been working on HSH on and off. Now I've realized I've been gone for and entire year and I miss Sam, and writing, and all of you amazing readers that have continued to review. That's not to mention the ones who have PM'ed me and and asked how iIm doing.

That has been my year in a nutshell. I felt like you guys deserved and explanation.

I should have a new chapter very, VERY, soon. Like within the next few days. I am going to a music festival this weekend though so I'm gonna try to get a chapter to you guys before that.

I hope you are all well and I seriously love you all for reading my stuff.


	39. Chapter 37

**I'm sorry I've been gone so long but hopefully this will make up for it.**

Dangirl POV

Stupid parents making me come home for a stupid funeral. I missed all of spooky week. I hate them so much. Who cares if my grandpa died? I wasn't there for one of my loves biggest events.

I sighed as I opened my computer to YouTube and went to Dan and Phil's gaming channel. I was met with four videos. The first to be uploaded was one called The Cellar Door. Within the first few second I was pissed off. SHE was in this video. That evil, conniving, slutty, Bitch.

Dan said she was joining then for spooky week. Hopefully that means just this video and not all of the videos but it's just my luck that she would be in all of them. I continued to watch even though she picked the game. It became obvious why when they opened the game. A creepy looking girl started crawling towards them on the screen. Of course it scared Dan because she almost looked like the girl from the ring. She wanted to scare Dan on purpose. Horrid Bitch.

Her payback came at almost the end of the video when a face appeared in a drain pipe. The Bitch, as I will now refer to her as from now on, had her legs in BOTH of the guys' laps. What a slut.

The face in the drain pipe didn't did not only scare Dan so badly that he managed to make himself unbalanced but it sent The Bitch towards the ground. She deserved the slap in the face gravity was about to give her. Unfortunately, Dan had caught himself from falling by grabbing on to one of The Bitches legs. Little did he know she was falling as well until it was too late.

Poor Phil was sitting between then. As The Bitch and Dan fell they brought Phil with them. They played the fall once again in slow motion for added effect.

The Bitch was the first to her feet. When she stood I noticed she was wearing Phil's yellow Adventure Time jumper. Oh, so she _is_ fucking both of them I see. The guys soon made it to their feet and of course they were both too nice to The Bitch and they didn't even yell at her. Instead they teased her about it like it was no big deal. They could have been seriously hurt. It was a big deal.

"Yeah you're leaving. You are a terrible friend. Roomie is going to be just as scared as I will." said Dan glaring at Phil.

Phil just shrugged.

"The two of you will be okay without me. Just don't fall and break anything." Phil replied with a smirk.

"I'M SORRY!" The Bitch exclaimed.

Dan reached over and turned the camera off.

So the next video is going to be just Dan and The Butch. Great. Just fucking great. I was now royally pissed off. I stood to grab a drink from my fridge hoping the walk would calm me down a little.

I did somehow manage to calm myself and I soon found myself back in front of the computer clicking the link to the next video. The title of the video was called "Dan and Roomie continue Outlast".

I almost closed out of it but in the end I watched it anyway. I needed to be supportive of my love even if I don't exactly like the company he keeps. Okay, fine. I hate the slutty Bitch but I just have to deal with it…for now.

I watched as the got completely freaked out in the basement turning on the generators and such. It looked as if it to Dan quite a few tries to finally complete his objective and run away from the crazy murderer guy. Finally, they were going back upstairs.

"I have a bad feeling." said The Bitch.

Of course Dan down played it because it is a scary game. I absolutely loved how he had just talked to her like the idiot she obviously is. A few minutes later when they were in the control room thing, they got attached. They both screamed and then The Bitch had to say that she was right.

"I told you! I told you I had a bad feeling! Did you listen to me? No!" The Bitch screamed hitting Dan's arm in a light punch.

"Ow!" said Dan looking over at her like the pest she is.

Then his expression softened a little and he was pulling The Bitch into a hug. She kept her face covered because of how ugly she really is. I swear, if she were to show her face it would probably break the camera.

"I hate you for making me do this." The bitch said.

I cannot believe she's blaming Dan for this. She clearly was the one that wanted to be in the videos. It's so completely obvious. She's a liar and a slut. On top of all of that, she somehow tricked Dan into hugging her. I hate her more than ever now. Hopefully I won't have to put up with her in the next two videos.

I continued to watch, just barely managing to block the bitch out. That is until she was yelling again.

"He's the sicko that was butt raping the dead body. You walked in on some major necrophilia and you didn't even notice." She yelled looking at Dan like he was the idiot this time.

Of course she points out the sexualness of the situation. She's so slutty I be she would fuck a corpse. If she weren't so adamant on getting into Dan and Phil's pants that is.

The video was soon over and I was praying to god that I wouldn't have to see here in another of the gaming videos. The next video had no mention of her. It was called "Dan and Phil play Amnesia".

I started the video and once again she was there. I could feel my temper rising when I saw her hand come into view. Thankfully it seemed as if she wasn't there the rest of the video. This one was my favorite so far.

The next spooky week video that was uploaded was spooky baking on Dan's channel but there was also another gaming video that had just been posted earlier today. I debated if I wanted to watch them in order of how they were uploaded or just watch all of the gaming videos first and then watch the baking video. In the end I decided to go in order because that's how Dan wanted them to be viewed.

The baking video started out with just Dan and Phil talking to the camera. Unfortunately, The Bitch was mentioned. Dan walked away and a few seconds later we heard Dan scream off camera. Then all three of them were laughing.

"I guess were going to have to put in that there are jump scares." said Dan walking back into view.

The Bitch stood in front of the camera with what I hate to admit, was the best zombie makeup jobs I have ever seen. I hate her for making me have to admit that. The zombie makeup did do a good job of hiding her face though. I don't need nightmares from seeing her face.

She just stood by while the guys did all of the work. The only thing she did do, besides calling out orders, was put the food coloring and the eyes in the cookies. At the end, the three of them stood in a row, The Bitch stood between the guys, ending the video and eating the cookies.

I glared at The Bitch secretly hoping she spontaneously burst into flames. I watched as she eyed the cookie then looked over at Dan then back to the cookie. She started to inch towards Dan until she was right behind him. She stood up on her tippy toes and looked right into the camera with a small smile the bit into Dan's shoulder.

Dan screamed and the two of them fell onto the floor. Then the scene cut to just here standing in front of the camera. She was really close so that her face filled the entire screen of my computer. The urge to punch my computer was almost undeniable but seeing at it wouldn't hurt her any, I restrained myself.

"He tasted much better than a cookie." She said with an evil smirk.

I was fuming. She bit Dan. She had the audacity to put any part of Dan's body in her mouth. Who knew what kinds of diseases she could be carrying. I was appalled and disgusted to think that she thought doing something like that was appropriate.

I quickly started the last spooky week video. I was not surprised to see that she was in this one as well. I mean she was in all of the others, why not another.

I heard Dan talking about how they were able to cure the zombie out of The Bitch by making her fall in love. Then Phil chimed in that Dan was cured as well. What that insinuated made me more outraged than I think I've ever been.

Is Dan dating that slut behind my back? The Bitch thinks she can steal my man. I don't fucking think so. I somehow managed to sit through the entire video without braking anything or blowing up but I did kind of want to put my fist through the screen.

Something needs to be done about that bitch and it needs to happen soon. I just need to find out who she is. In order to calm down I went to my bookmarks and scrolled though to links YouTubers had tweeted or whatever that I didn't get a chance to look at. I pulled up a blog.

Sam Daven. I looked through the blog. I recognized some things in the background of some of the pictures but I couldn't quite place it. I continued to browse the blog for a while and it calmed me down quite a bit. Until I saw something that made a positively evil grin come across my face. I recognized that bathroom. Gotcha!

Sam POV

The day before Halloween was filled with panic and lots of running around for me. My costume still hadn't come and I had to leave the house once again. The previous day I had been out with Emily trying to help her find a costume. We didn't have the best luck so we decided I would just make her look dead.

The conversation we had while at the costume store just kind of stuck out in my head. I was still laughing about it today.

"So why exactly am I going with you guys?" Em asked as we browsed the costume isle.

"Because Phil needs a date." I said shrugging my shoulders.

She just gave me a confused look.

"The guys planned on bringing me anyway because I have a few friends at this party. The other night the guys got a call saying that they needed to bring dates for some sort of game or whatever. Dan called dibs on me. Phil had been freaking out because he didn't know who he could ask and I volunteered you. I mean, you and the guys seemed to hit it off pretty well." I explained with a laugh.

"So I'm only invited out of necessity?" she asked looking offended but I caught on to the sarcasm in her voice.

"Basically." I said shrugging my shoulders and trying to hide the smirk on my face from her.

She pushed my shoulder and I ended up knocking over a nearby display. We booked it out of there so quickly. That was went we decided I would just do her makeup.

Today however I had a…an appointment. I haven't told the guys what I had planned to do and I definitely didn't tell Emily. Basically I'm cutting my hair. It's gotten so long that I can almost tuck it into the back of my pants. It's kind of sad when you have to tuck your hair in the front of your shirt to go to the bathroom.

I also wanted to change it up a bit. I wasn't really sure how I wanted to do that when I actually went to the hair dressers but I knew wanted to do something. Two hours later I walked out of the salon with my hair feeling significantly lighter…and looking it too. I had cut almost twelve inches off. Now instead of hitting my butt, it hit the middle of my back. I had previously had it layered but now I had it cut straight across.

On top of all of that my normal brown hair was now ombre. Starting from my natural hair color and going down to a cool toned blond. I knew the guys would be going out today for last minute touches on their costumes and I had planned to sneak back in and then hide in my room until it was time for the party. I really wanted to surprise the guys. Okay, so maybe just Dan, but whatever. Next I had to pick up a few things.

I needed a pair of white sheer tights that didn't cost much so I could destroy them. Then I needed gauze. While shopping around I found a pair of shoes that reminded me of Emily. They were purple, blue, and green galaxy print and they had a six-inch heel. I took a picture and texted it to her. About five minutes later I got a message back

"OMG! I NEED THOSE! PLEASE BUY THEM FOR ME. I'LL PAY YOU BACK!"

I laughed at the fact that it was in all caps to show just how excited she was. I went back after asking what size she was and grabbed a pair. When I looked at the shoes again, an idea popped into my head.

"Hey Em, do you have a lot of galaxy clothes?"

"Yeah, why?"

"Do they match?"

"Of course."

"Go as a galaxy for Halloween."

"Sam, you are a fucking GENIOUS!"

I laughed to myself while I made my way to the check out. The woman at the counter gave me a funny look when she saw the shoes but she didn't say anything. Apparently Galaxy shoes aren't for everyone. I just smiled politely and payed. I'm pretty sure that just made it more awkward.

As I had assumed, both Dan and Phil were gone, so I brought my stuff up to my room and then made my way to the kitchen. I didn't eat before I left and the Starbucks near the store I went to was so packed I just knew I would have a panic attack or something.

After making grilled cheese and grabbing a soda, I made my way back to my room. When I opened the door, something on the bed caught my eye. It was the package I had been waiting for. My costume had finally arrived.

Sandwich forgotten on my bedside table, I grabbed the package and ripped it open. I had to try it on. I took off my jeans and my long sleeve shirt and slipped the white dress on to my arms and over my head. The sleeves were long and stopped just at my wrist. It was form fitting on my entire body and made my butt look great. The hem of the dress hit at about mid-thigh and while it wasn't really see through, I definitely couldn't wear black underwear like I had on now. I was also a little nervous about wearing all white but I looked so good in this dress, I didn't really care.

I stood in front of the full length mirror just taking in my dress. I would have to wear a bra that actually gave me some shape instead if the sheer one I was wearing now because the form fitted dress kind of made me look like a fifteen-year-old boy chest wise. The neckline was a scoop neck that completely covered my cleavage but showed off my collarbones. The print on the dress, making it my costume, looked like mummy wraps.

I've had my eye on this dress for a long time but I never had a reason to actually buy it. This gave me an excuse. I took the dress off after I was sure it fit so I didn't have some sort of accident where I ruined the dress. I mean, that would totally be just my luck.

I grabbed my now cold sandwich and climbed in bed with my laptop. I didn't have anything else planned for today so I was going to have Netflix time and pretend the world didn't exist. I started Game of Thrones but never made it past the opening credits.

I woke to my phone ringing. I bolted upright and answered without thinking.

"Hello?" I said my voice not hiding my current status of consciousness.

"SAM! I need you to help me with my outfit!" said a voice on the other end.

I pulled the phone away from my face and looked at who I was talking to. Don't judge me, my brain was still too foggy to recognize voices.

"Em? Why are you calling me at… seven am?!" I said slightly shocked by the time.

"Sam, I'm having an emergency. I don't know which leggings to wear with my shoes. None of them match exactly and I'm freaking out a little." said Emily with an edge of hysteria.

"Okay, bring all of your stuff and come over. I don't know if the guys are up or not but just ring the bell until someone opens the door." I said letting myself fall back onto the bed.

"I'll be over in a few. You really are a life saver, Sam." she said sounding a bit calmer.

"Yeah, yeah. Just hurry up before I fall back asleep." I said with humor in my voice.

Unfortunately fall asleep was exactly what I did. About twenty minutes later there was a body on top of me squishing my bladder. It was a miracle I didn't pee myself.

"Ugh, oh my god. Get off of me. I gotta pee. I GOTTA PEE!" I exclaimed.

I heard a giggle and felt the body roll off of me. I climbed out of bed and gave Em the middle finger while making my way out the door.

"I love you too." She called after me as I made my way down the stairs and to the bathroom.

I was extra cautious so as to not run in to Dan or Phil. I didn't want them to see my hair yet even though it was up in a bun and not really noticeable. Dan has always noticed things most others don't notice about me. While it's nice that he notices things, it makes it hard to surprise him sometimes.

I made my way to the bathroom and did my business. I managed to not run into Dan or Phil on the way to and from the bathroom and made it to my room safely. I collapsed on the bed next to Em who was going through the music on my phone.

Once I managed to get my phone away from Em, we started in on her costume. She had a general idea of how she wanted it, meaning galaxy, but nothing was really planned out like mine was. Eventually we managed to put together a pair of leggings and a tank top that matched her shoes pretty well. The shoes matched her hair almost perfectly. Next was the body paint she brought. Originally she was going to have her brother do it but he wasn't awake when she left the house.

At two in the afternoon, we finally finished her outfit and the majority of her body paint. We just had her face left to do but that wasn't going to take very long so we held off for now. After all of that work, we were starving.

"I can feel my stomach eating itself. You got any food in this place?" Em asked while looking at herself in the full length mirror on the back of my door while I sat on my bed getting started in on my makeup.

"Yeah, just head down to the kitchen and help yourself to anything. Oh and grab something for me while you're down there." I said without looking up from the mirror in my hand.

"What's wrong with you? Are your legs broken or something?" said Em sarcastically.

"My makeup isn't done yet and I want to surprise Dan." I said still not making eye contact with her.

"Yeah…sure." She said with a knowing tone in her voice.

"Shut up and go get food bitch." I said with a smirk.

I could hear Em as she made her way down the stairs. I guess she can see how I feel about Dan just like everyone else seems to be able to. Let's just hope that Dan never sees it. A few minutes later she came back up with two glasses of water and a bag of Doritos.

"Find the unhealthiest thing in our kitchen why don't you?!" I said, not looking up from the mirror once again.

"Hey, you said anything. I only brought you water anyway." She replied and stuck her tongue out.

We sat on the bed for a while after I finished my makeup and just ate the Doritos and laughed at each other. At five, my alarm went off saying that we had a half hour before we leave. Without words we both went to finish up our costumes. For Em it was finishing her face and for me it was putting my dress on.

Em and I didn't speak while finishing to get ready. She was concentrating on her makeup and I was stuck in my own head. I couldn't help but wonder if Dan would like my dress. It was very form fitting and I had been secretly doing crunches so my little bit of chub on my belly didn't show as badly. I stood in front of the mirror smoothing down the dress and making sure it was perfect when Em spoke.

"Sam, that dress makes your ass look amazing." said Em from across the room on my bed.

"That's the point." I said turning and winking at her.

We both were throw into a fit of giggles dissolving some of my nervousness.

"You ready?" I asked when out giggles subsided.

Em nodded.

I took a deep breath and opened my bedroom door. Em shot out and down the stairs before I could even blink. I guess someone wanted to show off their costume. I chuckled to myself as I made my way down the stairs being very careful in the heels. I'm quite tall so I didn't wear them very often.

I could feel the nervousness bubbling up in my stomach again as I got closer and closer to the lounge. I stopped just outside to listen and make sure Dan was in there.

"So Phil, do you want to marry my outfit now?" I hard Em say, teasing Phil.

"Haha yeah, I want my entire future wedding to be galaxy themed." Phil replied with a nervous laugh.

I could tell that he surprised himself by saying that. I mean, he surprised me too so it had to have surprised him.

"Marry me. Right here, right now! I'm not even joking." I heard Em say.

I knew her face would be totally straight. Then Phil laughed and Em couldn't hold the face anymore. Another laugh joined theirs. One that made my heart flutter and my knees weak. NO! Stop that. Best friend. NO LIKEY! BAD SAMMIE!

I took a deep breath and walked into the lounge. All laughter stopped abruptly and three pairs of eyes turned to look at me. One shocking blue, one blue/green, and last, a set of brown eyes that I could drown in for the rest of my life and be content.

SERIOUSLY GIRL, SNAP OUT OF IT!

Phil was looking at me very oddly.

"What?' I said feeling self-conscious.

"Sorry, I just got a very odd feeling. It feels wrong." Phil replied now looking slightly traumatized.

"You're creeping me out." I said.

"I'm creeping myself out." Phil laughed.

I turned to the couch to the couch to catch Dan staring at me with his mouth open a little. My eyes contacted with his and he seemed to snap out of it. I glanced down to my shoes and could feel my face heating up.

"You uh, you look like a girl." said Dan.

I could hear Phil and Em laughing at Dan's reaction. I on the other hand looked up and saw Dan's face. He looked as if I had shocked him and he didn't know what to say but at the same time my heart gave a painful lurch at his words.

"Oh our Uber is here." I heard Phil say.

I pushed the heart pain out of the way and followed everyone out the door. We made our way out of the apartment, Dan pulling up the rear so that he could lock the doors behind up. Once out on the pavement, Phil took the front seat to give directions. And Em sat directly behind him. Dan had no choice but to open the door for me. Then I had no choice but to sit in the middle and next to Dan.

I don't know why Dan's words hurt me when I know he didn't mean to but there was a part of me that couldn't help but be slightly annoyed at him. I tried to push it away because tonight was supposed to be fun and I didn't want to ruin it with my unfortunate insensitivity. This was the moment I realized Dan's leg was pressed against mine. Que those FUCKING butterflies.

The rest of the ride I tried my hardest to not thing about how Dan's leg kept rubbing against mine. I made myself not think about how every time his leg moved, chills went up my spine. I tried not to look at his hand that was casually resting on his leg. I tried to ignore the urge to reach over and lace my finger with his.

Finally, we pulled up to where this Halloween party was being hosted. I followed Em out and whispered to her.

"That was the worse fifteen-minute ride of my life."

She looked at me questioningly but didn't vocalize her questions because the boys were joining us on the pavement. Phil in his snazzy vampire suit and cape, held out his arm for Emily to take. Dan in his all black outfit offered his to me. I wasn't sure what exactly he was. I took his arm and pushed all thought from my mind. I didn't not want another episode similar to what just happened in the car.

We made our way into the building and to the elevator. Phil pushed the button for the four of us to go to the very top floor. I focused on my reflection in the door of the elevator. I realized my face looked very straight and non-emotive. I felt myself smile. My reflection looked much more presentable. The Elevator doors opened and a wall of sound hit us. All around I could see people in costumes but I couldn't tell who they were.

We stepped out of the elevator and joined the room full of music, flashing lights, and warm bodies. I felt someone grab onto my arm. I looked to the side and Zoe had found me. I let go of Dan and let myself smile a real smile while I threw my arms around Zoe in a hug. Em showed up beside me and I introduced the two.

"Zoe, this is my friend, Emily. She works with me. I talked her into coming even though she doesn't know anyone." I said.

"As revenge I'm getting Sam here drunk off her ass." Em said.

Zoe laughed.

"I'd love to see Drunk Sam. We are usually the only ones that don't drink."

"Well that's about to change." said Em before I could protest.

Emily Dragged me to the bar and Zoe followed. Once at the bar, Em started to order three shots of Fireball and a Sex on the Beach.

"Should we really be mixing vodka and whiskey?" I asked.

"Oh, I won't be. You on the other hand are drinking everything I give you." She said with and evil grin.

While I waited for the drinks, I scanned the crowd more thoroughly. I recognized Niomi and Tanya hanging out with a few other girls. Not far away I saw Jim, Marcus, and a girl hanging off of Marcus's arm. I didn't recognize her and I didn't plan on introducing myself until I got to talk to Niomi. She was my friend before Marcus. My eyes came across Dan talking to someone I didn't know but it was clearly someone he liked enough to talk to.

And odd feeling of longing came across me just as Emily handed me a shot glass. I tipped it back and swallowed the liquid in one gulp before she could even hand me my chaser. I could feel the burn and something in me snapped into place. I reached for a second shot and took it as I had the first, then took a long haul off the straw sticking out of the Sex on the Beach which had now been placed in my hand.

"Yeah! Go Sam!" Emily yelled.

I couldn't help but smile. I was going to have a good time and ignore Dan to the best of my abilities. I the third shot and was just finishing my drink when I looked up and recognized a guy behind the bar. At the same time he looked up from what he was doing and out eyes connected.

"Jamie!" I said a little more excited than I normally would have been.

"Hey, I didn't think I would ever see you again after our last meeting." He said with a laugh that made me feel warm.

"Yeah, I didn't think I would either." I said more honestly that I would have if I was sober.

"What can I get you to drink?" he asked.

I didn't get a chance to reply because Emily was already ordering more shots and a new drink adding Rum into the mix. Jamie got to work on the drinks and before I even knew it another shot was being shoved into my hand. I tipped the burning liquid down my throat and it felt numb. The burning had gone and I knew I wasn't going to last much longer if I kept on the trajectory.

Jamie reached for what I thought was the empty shot glass but he grabbed my arm instead. He pulled up the sleeve of my dress and wrote something on it before being called away. When I pulled my arm back to me, I noticed it was a number with "call me" written above it. I pulled my dress down over my arm and turned to my friends.

"Let's go dance." I said grabbing Emily and Zoe's arms.

As I danced to the very loud very base oriented music, Emily alternately put shots or a drink into my hand. When I emptied one, a new one was in my hand. We danced for what felt like hours. My feet were killing me when we make our way back to the bar. Emily ordered me three more shots which I took as soon as they were handed to me. I could feel myself getting unbalanced and when someone bumped into me, I knew I was going down but I couldn't do anything about it.

Thankfully I was caught my someone walking by. I looked up to see who had saved me and it was none other than Dan. I was no longer annoyed with him, nor did I care about the stupid non-friend feelings I've been having about him. He was my best friend and he had just saved me from making friends with the floor.

"Dan!" I said throwing my arms around his neck once he set me back onto my feet.

"Are you drunk?" was his only reply.

I didn't say anything but a lazy smile stretched across my face. I realized I still had my arms around Dan's neck and I didn't really feel like moving them so I didn't.

"I think you need to go home." Dan said into my ear.

His breath across the little hairs at the side of my neck caused me to break out in goosebumps.

"Okay." I replied breathlessly.

Dan wrapped on arm around my waist and turned to Zoe.

"Can you tell Phil I'm bringing Sam home?" Dan said.

Zoe nodded and Dan started to move. I instantly became off balanced and he had to take on more of my weight so the I wouldn't fall. I was now only hanging onto him with one arm. We slowly made it to the elevator to take us down.

While in the elevator I couldn't help but think about how Dan was such a good friend. He turned to me.

"Yeah." He said.

I was thinking out loud not that my drunk brain realized that.

The elevator opened to the ground floor and Dan helped me out to the cool night air. Although the cool, fresh air would normally sober me up, tonight I think it made me even more drunk. Our Uber was there in minutes and soon we were on our way to the apartment. Dan still had his arm around my waist while in the car.

"You feel good." I heard myself say.

Dan chuckled.

The car stopped outside the apartment and Dan was soon helping me out of the car. Once on the pavement I started having a hard time walking in my heel which I had still not taken off.

"Give me your shoes." Dan said.

I obeyed and took my shoes off and Dan bent to pick them up in one hand. He then transferred them into the hand around my waist so he could open the door to the building. We started going up the stairs and I was having a particularly difficult time. We finally made it to the landing outside our door and Dan opened and guided me in.

Before mounting the next two flight of stairs. Dan bent down and picked me up. I was thrown into a fit of giggles while we made it up the first flight. The giggles started to subside and I looked up at Dan's face. We made it to me room and my eyes had focused on his lips. Dan opened my bedroom door. And brought me in and set me on the bed.

I watched as he took care of my shoes and started getting out some comfy clothes for me.

"I think you're still too drunk to maneuver so I'm going to help you get into these." He said.

I just continued to watch him. He came over and started pulling at the white tights I had put on earlier. He managed to get the off and then put a pair of pajama bottoms on over my feet.

"Wrap your arms around my neck." He said.

I obeyed and soon I was standing and Dan was pulling the pajamas up over my butt. He untucked my dress and then helped me sit back down. He then listed my dress up over my head. I was confused at first but the when I could see again, Dan was averting his eyes and holding open a shirt for me to put my arms into. Once I was covered I felt Dan reach around me and unhook my bra. It fell off and into my lap. Dan grabbed it and threw it with my other dirty clothes.

"Stay here." He said as he made his way to the door.

He was back a few seconds later with two bottles of water four pain killers. He handed me two and an open bottle of water.

"Take those." I did as I was told then handed the bottle back.

Dan then helped me into bed and made to leave.

"Wait!" I said causing Dan to stop and turn back to me.

"Will you stay?" I asked.

Dan took the last step to the door and turned the lights off. I thought he was going to open the door but I soon felt him sit on the edge of my bed and kick off his shoes. He then climbed under the covers with me. I cuddled into his body and felt my eyes grow heave.

"I love you." I said with my eyes closed.

As I faded into dream land, I heard Dan's voice.

"I love you too Sammie


End file.
